Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 3)

Okay everybody, let’s jump right to the hotties! But if you need to, check out Round 1 Part 1, and Part 2.

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Ciara Hanna

First off in Round 1 Part 3 are two of the hottest blondes you will likely ever lay eyes on. The hard part today is to decide which is hotter.

Let’s start with Sara. I first laid eyes upon this gorgeous woman when I was looking up something about one of the new Star Wars movies, and by some miracle, I came across this picture.

Sara-Jean-Underwood-Padme-Amidala-Cosplay-1Now it is not every day you find someone who looks hotter than Natalie Portman did in the same costume. I immediately fell in love with this woman. To my great delight, pictures such as these were attached to this one…

My first thought was she was a cosplayer, until I saw the car wash photos. That led me to believe she was a beautiful person who had an outstanding body that she loved to show off, and did so in a charitable way, while also conveniently having a bunch of friends who didn’t mind dressing super scantily and washing cars at the same time either. This provided a great service to their customers, who not only went home with a clean car, but an erection as well! What nice girls!!

Well obviously this must be some kind of fundraiser of sorts with Star Wars somehow involved. Whatever the reason, I decided to look more into this girl that had me so entranced. Was it because of her perfect body, beautiful face and charitable, helpful character, or was it because I love Star Wars just as much as nice, beautiful women? Perhaps putting both together was a match made in a heaven?

Anyway, this is what I found.

Turns out she’s a PlayBoy model. Having never looked at one of those magazines, I must admit, I am curious if they all look as good as her. But I seriously doubt it. This girl has an absolutely superb body, and a face that looks kind, sweet and fun. She looks like the type of girl you could get lost with all night, and then bring home to meet your mother. Until what she does for a living comes up anyway.

Oh and in case you were wondering, she looks amazing as Leia too.

sara-jean-underwood-star-wars-play-boy-photoshoot_1
Eat your hearts out…

 

 

 

Next we have an equally beautiful and precious looking woman, Ciara Hanna, making her second appearance in a Tournament Of Hotties, but this time as herself and not as a character she played. Which is exactly how I came to learn about her. She was the yellow ranger in the Power Rangers: Megaforce series. She was really quite beautiful in the show, but it wasn’t until I was looking up pictures of her for the first Tournament of Hotties that I learned she is one of the most beautiful, sexy, cute, gorgeous, adorable, sweet, amazing…I’m running out of adjectives. Enough jibber jabber, just look at some pictures of her…

Oh man, she just looks like the biggest sweetie and sex muffin! I don’t know if I want to hug her or do something more private. But let’s face it. We’d all pick both. Another girl you would take home to meet the family, but you couldn’t wait to live so you could have your way with her.

Everything about her is so perfect and sexy, yet cute and sweet. But what really gets me is when those sexy lips placed upon that beautiful face curve into a smile.

I love her sexy, wavy hair too…and her eyes…everything…

This might be one of the hardest to choose from in the tournament thus far. It seems a crime that one of these perfect blondes must be eliminated, but I must persevere and choose one.

 

Victor

Sara Jean Underwood Black Bra

Sara Jean Underwood

 

Moving away from blondes, we have two brunettes in the running!

Elizabeth Hurley

VS

Kristen Stewart

 

elizabeth_hurley_07The tall, slender large breasted woman known as Elizabeth Hurley may be one of my earliest crushes. I first saw her in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, where her sexy accent and perfect body charmed the pants off of everyone. The humorous censor scenes, aside from making me laugh, just showed how hot this woman was, not to mention how big her boobs are. Everything from her hair down to her futuristic styled boots is enough to make anyone start drooling. You really couldn’t blame Austin for trying to “shag” her the whole movie. No one else would be able to resist her either.

But it wasn’t until I saw Bedazzled that I considered her one of the most beautiful women on the planet, for she is so impossibly hot. In this movie, she plays the Devil. And this fact alone makes it an interesting movie. If the Devil looked like this…

then I am willing to bet just about everyone would sell their soul to her. The torture would be the “look but don’t touch rule” on this babe for all eternity. As you can tell, Elizabeth is nothing short of perfection. Ugh…just look at that body. Beautiful…so slim and toned…she’s as hot as the fires of hell…I know…I know…I had to say it.

She is getting on in years now, which is a blow to us all, but even still she looks nothing short of fabulous.

Any sane person would jump at the chance to get in on some of that, 20 years ago or now.

 

Next up is Kristen Stewart. I imagine I discovered her the same time everyone else in the world did. I remember it all too clearly. I visited my buddy in college and we were bored one night so we decided to go down to the auditorium where they were having a movie night. It was some movie none of us ever heard of, but we figured we’d watch it anyway. When we walked into the auditorium, I immediately noticed we were the only guys in there, never a good sign.

That’s right, you guessed it. That movie was Twilight. We had never heard of it and never knew it was this huge book/movie business. Anyway, the movie was basically awful. Except for the lead actress, Kristen. She was a hottie. She made most of the movie somewhat enjoyable just because of her looks. But after the movie ended, I forgot all about her until years later when I saw some pictures of her. It may have been these ones in fact.

She had become older and more mature and something about her just blew me away. Yeah, she has a perfect body, no doubt, sexy attitude and hot hair, but that isn’t what really gets me, it’s that face of hers. It is just so entrancing and wonderful.

I just can’t explain it, it just makes my heart melt. Maybe it’s because she dresses most of the time in regular clothing, and looks like a normal person most of the time, not some big shot celebrity. I don’t know. I don’t think I have a “type.” Maybe she’s it?

And speaking of the way she dresses, she looks amazing in everything. No matter what she dons, she is just tipping over the hottie scale.

Wow, she is just a steaming hottie, hot enough to take on the Devil herself. I don’t know what it is, it might be all her vampirey witch craft or whatever, but she definitely has me under some spell.

And she’s bisexual, which is huge points in my book.

So which of these two perfect women is hotter? It’s hard to say. Kristen is more my age, so maybe that’s why I feel some weird cyber connection with her. Elizabeth Hurley is much older, but still competes with Kristen any day. Decisions, decisions. I will have to give it to…

Victor

elizabeth hurley red dress

Elizabeth Hurley

Sara Jean Underwood and Elizabeth Hurley move on to Round 2! Their victories are bitter sweet, for Ciara and Kristen both are such sweet contestants I could totally get along with.

See you next time for the conclusion of Round 1!

Finally, A Great e3!!!

The last 2 or three e3’s have been more or less disappointing. But at long last, this year was different!

Image result for skull and bones game

The first conference I saw was Ubisoft, and they had lots of exciting announcements, most notable the Mario/Rabids crossover known as Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, which looks awesome, and the completely unique game Skull & Bones. Fans of the Assassin’s Creed series will be excited for the new Egypt based game. See it all here.

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Next up was Sony. There conference was great because there was hardly any talking and they just played trailer after trailer, which makes me wish they just made a video like Nintendo to keep the flow going better.

But anyway, they basically showed the same games they showed at last years e3, but with much longer trailers/gameplay. And this was fine with me, for they showcased a lot of great looking games, most notable for me was Days Gone and the PS4 exclusive Spider-Man. I can’t wait to play those two games! Check it all out here.

Image result for metroid prime 4

But the most amazing part about e3 by far was Nintendo’s “Spotlight” video presentation. Anyone who said the Switch doesn’t have a lot of software has now been proven wrong. They announced a whole slew of new titles for both this year and next, guaranteeing two years of great games. Yoshi, Kirby, Metroid, Mario will all be making appearances, to name a few. You can check out everything in detail here.

Image result for xbox one x

They are the only ones I saw in detail, but Microsoft revealed a few new games and the brand spanking new, powerful consoles Xbox One X. You can watch the conference here.

It was a great showcase, and I am very excited to be a gamer right now.

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women Round 1 (Part 2)

Welcome back to Round 1, where 2 more sets of unbelievably hot women will face off to see who is the hottest. Check out part one if you missed it. Now, let’s not waste anytime, let’s check out the next two hotties!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Denise Richards

Phew, these women are amazing! Just look at em up there. You couldn’t wish for more hotness than these two have!

Let’s talk about Angie first. Where to begin? I first found out about Angelina Jolie’s existence from watching the 2001 movie Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. If ever there was a thing as “love at first sight,” this was it for me. She without a doubt, was the most beautiful person on the planet I had ever seen. I didn’t even have to put in the movie to fall in love with her. The stinking cover was enough.

tomb raider cover

Dang. I was 12 or 13 when the movie came out, and this was about the sexiest thing I had even seen in my life. The long braid of hair, the tight tank top that shows off a huge pair of jugs and the abs bulging out…not too much, but just enough to tell you this woman is toned as hell, and unbelievably gorgeous. The short shorts that give way to long slender legs that are criminally cut off are an amazing tease. How dare they cut off any portion of this perfect specimen’s body!?

 

 

 

When I finally stopped staring and popped the tape in the VCR, it became immediately apparent that the cover was not a hoax, this woman, Angelina Jolie, really is that hot. If anything, the cover does not do her unheard of beauty justice, for it does not capture how effortlessly sexy this woman is. From the way she moves, to the way shes talks. Even if she just had to scratch her head, the eloquent way she moved her arm up to her head would have me melting all over. Each word seemed to drip from her lips, so sensual and loving, her smile so sexy and beckoning. And speaking of her lips, my God, they are the most luscious things you will ever lay eyes on, well maybe unless you look down at her chest. But anyway, those perfect lips make her words all the more paralyzingly sexy. You could be content just watching her speak and move. You love the words coming out of her mouth, it almost becomes as good as sticking something in those lips, a tragic fantasy every man must have ripped from them when watching this beauty, unless your Brad Pitt and a few other incredibly lucky guys.

If the pain of watching everything about her physical perfection wasn’t bad (or good) enough, it was even more agitating but equally pleasurable in the fact that every thing she wore in that movie, despite not being revealing at all, made her look like the most incredibly sexy and alluring sexual beast the world has ever known!

Here is just a quick example…

 

Literally everything she wore hugged her body in such a perfect way, or really more specifically, they hugged her boobs, making each and every one of us jealous of a shirt…It was like none of the outfits were big enough to fit around those beasts, and that was for the better, believe me! There was even an occasional nipple poking through, which obviously, is all the more welcome!

But anyone who has seen this movie will take one amazing, joy filled memory with them. You know what I am talking about…I know you do!! The famous shower scene. First off, this scene has no nudity or anything, it’s just Angelina like running water down her hair for like 15 seconds, but the way she moves…it’s just…oh man…I don’t know. She just makes it seem so erotic. It’s basically like you are having sex with her. She even parts those luscious lips from a side view for you, and that is enough to shoot a tingle down everybody’s spine. But that is not even what I am talking about. It is when she gets out of the shower that the magic really happens.

BOOM!angelina jolie tomb-raider-4

The most amazing side boob you will ever see. Let me explain how amazing this was as a child. I was barely a teenager when I saw this and probably the only boobs I ever saw were Rose’s from Titanic. Then I spent this whole movie staring at her jugs with all her tight fitting shirts being stretched to their limits. Then she gets out of the shower and to everyone’s delight, she rips her towel off unexpectedly and turns just enough that you can see everything you possibly can without it being full nudity and keeping the movie PG-13.

Now this amazing side boob does a couple things. It confirms her boobs are as big as they look and it releases some weird sexual tension that has built up from watching her supreme hotness, which is amazing and much needed at this point.

Those are the pros, the con, it leaves you wanting more…so, so, so much more! You want to see every part of that beautiful toned body, every tiny inch of it. How could they tease the viewers like that! Eventually, you learn to just be happy you got to see any part of her at all, and then enjoy the rest of the movie with a smile on your face as you watch her in all her unmatched hotness, staring at her boobs ready to burst from her shirts, thinking to yourself, “yeah, I got to see those…a little…to the side…” as your smirk grows bigger.

So yeah, that is the story of how I fell in love with Angelina Jolie. For years I stated without hesitation that she was the most beautiful woman on planet Earth.  I have seen very few movies with her in it, but of the ones I have, she is just as alluring and sexy in all of them. It was only fitting that she was cast in the role of probably the most famously hot female video game character ever designed at that point.

Next up is Denise Richards. Like Angie, I discovered her from a movie, and the whole time she was in it, I couldn’t help but get aroused. She brought the meaning of sexy to a whole new level, from the way she looked, talked, walked, and above all, her facial expressions were such a big turn on, it blew me away.

What movie am I talking about? The 1998 film, Wild Things of course! Despite this being a very thrilling movie on it’s own, the director clearly searched high and low for the hottest woman they could find and then spend half the movie showing her off. Literally everything she wears is skimpy and revealing in some way. You also get to see her naked on several occasions and make out with a girl on her own and in a threesome. So yeah, it’s pretty amazing stuff. She looked a little like this…

 

Believe it or not, she is way hotter in the movie even! And just like the woman she is competing against, she has a wonderful rack and big, sexy lips. If you were to look up any word in the dictionary related to the words, “hot,” “sexy,” “arouse,” “dammmmmmnnn,” etc., it would be hard to tell which of these two women’s photo would go there.

Denise is most famous for being an unbelievably hot Bond girl I believe. A movie I have to see.

She has also been featured in PlayBoy Magazine wearing a…net…

 

Not very practical clothing, but if its purpose is to make us all sit up a little straighter, then they nailed it on the head. I have only even seen Denise Richards in this one movie, but I can only imagine that just like in Wild Things, any time she is on screen, you will forget entirely about the movie and will instead be lost in her all encompassing beauty.

Unfortunately today, she isn’t all that hot. Her body is still amazing, but her face looks kind of weird, like plastic surgery gone wrong or something. Even so, do not let that detract from the impossibly hot woman she once was!!!

Now for the hard part. To decide which of these inhumanely hot women is hotter. Both have perfection on a physical level, and both are unbelievably sexy and heart melting beauties that would easily take your breath away if you saw them on the streets. But to choose only one, I would have to go with this one…

Victor

angelina jolie 6

Angelina Jolie

This hottie just has a more sexy edge on Denise. It just seems to flow off of her so naturally. She really must be an alien or something…

And now for the next bout!!!

 

 

Katie Cassidy

VS

Joanie Brosas

Hot dog!! We’ve got two tall, slender and absolutely gorgeous girls up next!!!

Katie Cassidy became one of the most beautiful women in the world to me after viewing her in what is probably my favorite show of all time, Arrow. In season 1, she wasn’t all that spectacular. She was very attractive of course, but nothing mind blowing. She sort of looked like this…Katie-Cassidy-Regard-Magazine-Photo-Shoot-arrow-cw-33738859-940-586

though not as made up of course.

But then along came season 2 and my God, I don’t know what happened, but I was hit by the train that is her infinite beauty. Ever since, every time she is on camera, I can’t help but drool. The show itself is always so intriguing, keeping you on the edge of your seat, but this beauty comes along and steals all the focus. But that really isn’t all that surprising when you start to look like this…

 

In the show, she plays a lawyer and always dresses really professional, so you can never tell what kind of body she has, though it’s obvious it’s a hot one. And if you couldn’t tell from the pictures above how sexy her long legs are, or how gorgeous her body is, here is some more proof…

So as you can tell, she has a wonderfully tone body, with an especially great booty. Everything, from that sexy wavy hair of hers down to her toes is just steamy hotness. Unfortunately, I have never seen her in anything but Arrow, but I am sure she’s gorgeous all the time!

Next up is the fabulous Joanie Brosas. This incredibly hot woman I believe is a model, which how could she not be, she’s beautiful x1000. But I think she is more known for her cosplaying, where she specializes in wearing as little amount of clothing as legally  possible.

As you can tell, she’s quite good at it. Her body is absolutely flawless. In fact, normally I would say she is too thin, but for some reason, maybe because she looks to be on the tall side, it works for her, thus just adding to her already inhuman hotness. Something else super sexy about her is that long, flowing hair of hers.

I don’t know why, but that is just as much of a turn on as her beautiful body.

This was another girl I fell hard for immediately. I was looking up something about a rumored Tomb Raider movie a few years ago, and I found this instead.

So yeah, anyone could fall victim to this appealing specimen. The long hair, the cute face, amazing figure, long legs, firm butt and the oh so sexy under boob make her a force to be reckoned with on the scale of hotness.

So I love everything about both these girls, so it comes down to which one is just simply better looking…and while they both are at least 10/10 on the hottie scale, this one can be pushed up to a 12..

Victor

Joanie Brosas darth vader

Joanie Brosas

Well folks, that’s another 4 hotties revealed, and another 2 to move on! See you next time for 4 more hotties as Round 1 continues!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women (Round 1, Part 1)

And here we are with another Tournament of Hotties, this time nothing Power Ranger related! Instead, I gathered the 16 hottest women I could think of. But not your everyday hot. These women cause you to think, “They can’t be human, they can’t be from this planet. No human being from Earth could be this hot.”

Now I am sure there are plenty of hotter women out there, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head, and I am sure they look quite normal when they don’t have all that make up on either. But that is not the point. These girls are just so inhumanly hot that they must be recognized.

And as wonderful as these women are to look at, it is going to be quite a terrible experience to narrow them down to just 1 that is the hottest of all. How could anyone choose?

Also take note that this has nothing to do with how these women currently look, but is more how hot they were at some point in their lives.

So without further ado, let us begin Round 1.

Tara Reid

VS

Megan Fox

Dang…just dang…Right off the bat are two magnificent hotties. Let’s start with the gorgeous blond Tara Reid.

I first discovered this sexy lady in the 1999 film, American Pie, where she looked like this…and please, click on these pictures to see each one bigger…

american pie girls
In case you get lost in all the hotness here, Tara is the second from the left…

In this movie she wasn’t  “inhumanly” hot, but her raspy voice is one of the sexiest things I have ever heard. Every word out of her mouth sounds like she is trying to seduce the person she is talking to, which makes every man wish they were on the receiving end of those words. I think they even mention in the TV show Scrubs, where she occasionally has a small role, how sexy her voice is. She looks amazing in that show as well.

And when she appears in American Pie 2, her hotness is multiplied. They even point this out, as the main character, Jim says, “And Vicky got hot!” Vicky being Tara’s character. And Jim could not be any more right. She is smoking hot in that film, looking more like this.

I think the only other thing I have seen her in is American Reunion, where she is also smoking hot, though age set in a tad, unfortunately. But any sane man and some edgy women would do her anyway.

In case you couldn’t tell from her pictures, she is like the definition of a gorgeous blond. Her body is flawless, she has long longs, a nice set of boobs with seemingly very perky nipples as evidenced here.

Those little guys are always trying to sneak through! Not to mention two of the pictures in the group above this one!!

So yeah, this girl is hot, unbelievably hot. Every molecule on her body rages sexiness and we can’t get enough. She is also the first girl I have ever seen fake an orgasm on television, and I thank her from the bottom of my heart. Her screams of pleasure through that raspy voice are something that can never be duplicated by anyone else.

Ugh…so hot…

And next we have hottie number two…Megan Fox!! The first time I laid eyes on this beauty was on an episode of Two and a Half Men. I believe this was before she was famous, for I had no idea who she was at the time, and no one else did either. All I knew is that when they showed some random girl in a bikini hanging out with the rest of the cast, I thought to myself, “That is the hottest girl I have ever seen.” The whole episode was about how hot this girl was and how everyone on the show was drooling over her. Their acting was top notch, because I can firmly say, everyone in real life was doing the same. Nobody that hot had ever been on television before.megan_fox

This was a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg time ago too. She has done nothing but get hotter.

But what really made this amazing looking girl famous was that unforgettable “under the hood” scene from Transformers. You know what I’m talking about, the scene where she is looking under the hood of her car and they pan up her body.

Yeah…that one. I bet you during this scene in the theaters, the whole theater was filled with the sounds of rustling denim as every man adjusted themselves.

I only saw the movie once (not in theaters), years and years ago, and this is all I remember from it. And what else could you take away from it? The moment you see this, it is all you will ever see for the next 3 days!! The way her sexy brown hair falls over her scantily clad body is so sexy. I was skeptical about seeing the movie, and every time I heard about it or asked about it, all I ever heard was “Megan Fox is so hot!” And that is how she became world renowned. But it wasn’t for many years later that I found out this new name everyone was talking about was the same girl I had subliminally fallen in love with from Two and a Half Men.

Everything about her is perfect. Everything. Every time she moves, every time she speaks, even stinking blinks, her hotness infests your brain. I honestly don’t know how every man who has seen her in person isn’t in jail for sexual assault. How could anyone resist such beauty?

Wearing nothing…

Megan Fox naked

She’s hot…

Fully clothed…

Megan-Fox-12

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s hot…

 

She is inhumanely hot and sexy and seems to have been born that way. Even without makeup I guarantee this girl is smokin’. I can’t even get over it. I wish I could meet someone 1/4 as hot as her. That girl would be by far and away the hottest person I’ve ever met.

So now the daunting deed must be committed. Which of these alienish women is hotter. The blond or the brunette?

It’s very close. Either one would fulfill any man’s wildest fantasies, but I would have to go with…

Victor

Megan Fox beach stroll

Megan Fox

 

Now that I have shamed one of the hottest blonds of all time, let’s see what two amazingly hot women are next…

Scarlett Johanson

VS

Jessica Alba

Well crap, two more impossibly hard to choose from women. Let’s start with Scarlett. The first movie I ever saw her in was The Avengers, where she played the role of the incredibly bad ass, yet amazingly sexy and impossibly hot Black Widow. In fact, the first scene you see her in, she’s in a black dress that she looks simply amazing in.

See? I told you so. Right then and there, I realized she was one of the hottest women on the planet.

She first appeared as the character in Iron Man 2, where she looked amazing, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say she was inhumanly hot, though she definitely was rocking the costume and was still gorgeous.

It wasn’t until Avenger’s that she reached such a high level of hotness, and hasn’t slowed down a bit. She’s every bit as gorgeous in any of the other movies she plays the role in, if not hotter.

I have never seen her in any other movie, in any other role other than Black Widow, so I find myself wondering if it is just the character that is so hot, or the actress?

Yeah…it’s the actress.

She is stunning no matter what she’s doing it seems. Wow, just beautiful. There is just such a tough, sexy look about her, yet a sort of innocence as well, like she isn’t trying to be sexy, it just radiates from her naturally. She’s got a nice rack too, so that’s nice.

And next we have the amazing beauty, Jessica Alba. The first movie I saw her in was Good Luck Chuck, and man was she gorgeous in it. One can’t help but fall in love with her looks as well as her charming, adorable personality. I haven’t seen many other movies with her in it, but the ones I have, she is always beautiful and sexy, and usually strips down to nearly nothing. An old co-worker of mine was so in love with her, he kept a copy of Into the Blue on his desk, a movie in which she appears on the cover like this…

Jessica Alba into the blue

I don’t blame him, she’s hot.

Everything she wears, she looks amazing in. As you can tell, she has a perfect body and looks especially amazing in bikinis.

But she looks great in underwear and leather as well. I’ve never met her, but based on things I have read about her and how she acts in movies, she is not only gorgeous on the outside, but on the inside as well, and that is bonus points, baby!

So which of these super women will move on to round 2? It is a close one, but this girl is a tad bit hotter…

Victor

Jessica Alba Beach

Jessica Alba

See you next time, as we continue with Round 1!

Nintendo Is About To Do To The Fighting Genre, What It Did To The Online Shooter

Back in May 2015, Nintendo released a game for the Wii U by the name of Splatoon. This is primarily a 4v4 online shooter, but instead of the main goal being to just kill as many people as possible, your objective is to paint, or “ink” rather, as much of the map as possible with the use of paint buckets, guns, paint brushes and rollers. There are a ton of weapons as well as gear, which boosts your abilities.

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The most unique part is your character can turn into a squid and move quickly through the cover of your own ink. Sounds pretty original, right? Well that’s because it is absolutely one of a kind. And it is easily the most fun online game I have ever played. I hate online shooters, I really do, but the moment I saw this, I couldn’t wait to play it, and I still play it all the time, two years later. It’s unique take on the genre, colorful art style and superb gameplay has really revolutionized the genre in a way.

Now here we are in 2017, the Switch has been released, and on June 16th, we are getting a brand new ip from Nintendo once again. Again it is for a genre I am not very fond of…fighting.

But Nintendo has given this genre their own bit of flair and have produced something that looks to be quite extraordinary, colorful, unique, content packed and extremely addicting. I of course am talking about Arms, the game where a bunch of unique and interesting characters with extendable arms beat the crap out of each other with a wide variety of…boxing glovish things called arms.

Needless to say, nothing has ever been done remotely close to this game, and it looks absolutely amazing. Again, a game in a genre I show little to no interest in has me barely able to contain my excitement! I am sure this is going to be the best fighting game ever, (in my opinion) just as Splatoon is my favorite shooter.

Nintendo just keep proving that they can take any genre, especially ones they really have never dabbled in before and produce something unexpected, unique, and most important of all, fun.

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But don’t take my word for it, especially since the game is not even out yet and I am really just making an awful lot of assumptions. But check out this Nintendo Direct. It will show you practically everything you need to know.

As a bonus, this summer Splatoon 2 is coming out, and that looks to do nothing but take the perfection of the first game and make it better. Be sure to check that out as well!

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DC Comics/LEGO are the Biggest Criminals Ever…

So a while back I was in Walmart and passed by the LEGO aisle and there set up on display was a LEGO Batman: The Movie LEGO set.

REALLY?

So LEGO is selling a LEGO set based off of a movie that is based off of a couple video games that are based off of LEGO sets that are based off of various movies and TV shows that are based off of comic books.

Damn!!! That is a lot of money out of our pockets, if you happen to purchase all this stuff, which I imagine only supreme Batman lovers do.

Final Fantasy IX: This Is What I Missed

At long last, my Final Fantasy marathon ends here…for the time being anyway. And I have to say, it ended with a great game, bringing me back to my early days when I first played FF 8 and 7, as I described in my post about the first game.

After playing through this game, I have come to the conclusion that Final Fantasy didn’t truly become great games until the PlayStation. I really enjoyed 7-9. The more advanced system with it’s “powerful” hardware allowed for some great story telling visually with the beautiful cut scenes and also the bigger space spread out on multiple discs allowed for more in game story told through a much larger world as well.

FF9 was also void of any annoying things that plagued the series from 6 downward. There were only 2 cheap instant death encounters I met the whole game, and it was mainly due to cheap overpowered counter attacks. For once, I could go through the whole game without wanting to pull my hair out.

Gone too are the obnoxious amounts of random encounters. Most games had you fighting endless amounts of battles for little experience. FF9 reversed that by having less battles with more experience, and that is just fine by me!

The skill system is great in this game as well. Each equipable item has skills attached to them that can teach one specific character something, or multiple people. This is truly great, for by the end of the game, all your characters know a vast amount of skills that you can equip to fit your needs at any time.

The story isn’t great, but it’s enjoyable enough, and there is great character development. The ending, however, is very weak and unnecessarily long for such a disappointing  payoff. But the character development sort of makes up for that though.

The only real complaints I have about the game is that the encounters take way too long to start…like over 10 seconds you have to wait before the battle begins. First it kind of loads, then you are forced to watch as the camera unnecessarily scrolls through your environment, as if the developers were so proud of the world they created. Then your party and the enemies magically fade in to existence and then finally the fight begins…which brings me to my second complaint.

The fighting seems so delayed. It is so slow moving. Sometimes you just are sitting there waiting for something to happen. Even when you have given each member something to do, everyone just kind of dances around for a while, then the enemies go, then one of your characters attack, then the enemy might go again after waiting, then wait some more for one of your guys to go. Honestly, if you tell all four of your characters to do something, it might take close to 2 minutes for your fourth character to finally go. By the time they do, the other 3 have already refilled the battle meter thing and have new commands already inputted. When that fourth character finally goes, you had forgotten what you told them to do and a lot of the time, the flow of the battle has shifted by then so that their attack or whatever is more or less useless.ff9 battle.jpg

But other than that, it is a fun game that I really enjoyed. Now I can finally understand why these games have some kind of following. It only took 9 games and 15 years.

As always, I will rank the games from best to worst. This time though, I will include 7 & 8, though it is a little unfair since I never beat them completely.

FFIX

FFVIII

FFVII

FFVI

FFII

FFIV

FFV

FFIV: The After Years

FF

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Is Racist?

I was recently reminded on how the world thinks the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers TV series is incredibly racist. And all I’ve got to say is…really? People really do complain about anything these days…and I guess they did 25 years ago too.

The first time I ever heard of these racist claims was in high school, around 15 years after the original season had aired. I vividly remember sitting in second period study hall my senior year and my friend had mentioned how it was racist. Unable to put together myself why that was so, I asked him to explain. And I just shook my head at the answer. The yellow ranger is Asian, and the black ranger is black. How dare a show be so racist!

To tell you the truth I never understood the Asian-yellow thing until my wife explained to me last week that many people consider Asians to have yellow colored skin.

What?

I would never in a million years have made such a correlation, but at least 9 years of confusion has been settled!

But seriously? Does that mean that the Simpsons actually takes place in Asia? Is Marge really a tall/blue haired Asian, because that would be my favorite type of person ever.

the-simpsons
They’re all Asian…who knew?

And when I was a little kid and colored pictures and stuff, I always colored the white people yellow, because I thought that was a more accurate color than “white” for Caucasians. Or really tan I thought to be the best, but there were never tan crayons.

Oh jeez, my parents and teachers and friends probably all thought I had a fetish with Asian people or something. I do remember my teachers giving me some looks. I always thought it was because I was an atrocious artist, but no, it was because I made my family portrait all Asian.

But that is all besides the point. The point is, “HOW IN THE WORLD DOES WEARING A COSTUME OF THE SAME COLOR AS YOUR SKIN MAKE IT RACIST? Even if Trini did have yellow skin, it still makes no sense…

I’m sorry, I can’t wrap my head around this. Maybe it is because I am not a racist person and lack any knowledge of what it is like to be racist, but it just doesn’t make sense. So the guy happens to be black and is the black power ranger? What is the big deal? It’s not like the creators hired people first, and then chose the colors. In fact the show is mostly just stock footage from the Japanese series anyway, so they just had to basically cast people for the parts when they were not morphed. And I seriously doubt the people said, “Hmm, we have a black power ranger, so we better cast a black person.” And even if they did, how is that being racist anyway?

And speaking of the Japanese show. There is always a yellow ranger in every single season that I can think of. So what does that mean then? Are the Japanese people, being part of Asia, being racist for knowingly and willingly putting yellow costumed characters in their TV show? Are they insulting themselves?

My answer-They don’t give a crap because only Americans concern themselves with such stupid claims.

operation overdrive black rangerSo needless to say, after that, any Asian people were never in a yellow costume again, and black people were never black. Except once, a black guy played the black ranger in Operation Overdrive. So what is that all about? Is he considered a disgrace to all African-Americans for accepting a job that will make the show so unbelievably racist? Or is he a hero for stepping over racial boundaries? Who is being offended in this case anyway, and WHY!?!?!?!?

Anyway, I like to believe he’s just an awesome guy who really doesn’t care and is like me and can’t figure out how it is racist.

And if that’s racist, then WTF is this!?!?!?

Image result for tommy white ranger

A white guy as the white ranger? Should I be offended by this? Or is it other races that are supposed to be offended? How dare he wear colors that resemble the color of his skin! You a-hole! Burn in Hell! Am I doing it right? Am I mad enough? Am I mad at the wrong person? I never knew racism could be so confusing.

And is this issue telling me that black people can’t wear black clothing either? Can Asians wear yellow? Can whites wear white? I’m told not after Labor Day, which is another thing I can’t understand, but I won’t get into that. And…YIKES! I am wearing a white T-Shirt AS I AM TYPING THIS! So tell me, just tell me, what kind of statement does that make? Am I being racist against myself? Is someone who is not white going to get ticked if he sees me in this shirt? Or do I get mad because they are looking at my shirt and comparing it to my skin? Or do I look like a cocky jerk for wearing white? I just don’t get it.

And then look at this shot.

Image result for tommy white ranger

The white ranger looks like some bad ass KKK member. Should the black girl in the group get offended by this? And while she’s thinking about if she should be offended or not, is she mad at the Asian for wearing black clothing? Is that offensive to an African-American, or is the issue truly only when someone of the same color wears it? So is she thinking, “Thank god I’m not wearing that!”?

You like how they swapped out an Asian girl for a black one, and a black guy for an Asian to please critics? Clever bastards. But is just swapping sex and race like that politically correct? And notice, there are no Latinos (I’m not sure of the politically correct term) in this season. Is excluding an ethnicity racist? And is having too many people of one ethnicity racist? In this particular picture, there are four Caucasians…FOUR of them! And they have the nerve to place one of them as the white ranger no less! What a hog of a race! No Latinos, but four f’ing whites. You have got to be kidding me!! Wait…should I be mad over this? Are they overly using my race, making them the most prominent race in the show, thus exposing more of the actions and stereotypes associated with white people in an unfair way? Or do I feel empowered that my race has the most representation in this season?

And how far does this racism go? Is it pertaining only to skin color? What about green? That is always attached to the Irish. Does that mean an Irish person can’t be a green ranger without being racist?

And take a look at the blue ranger from RPM..Image result for rpm blue ranger.

He’s Scottish. So let’s take a look at the Scottish flag now…

scottish flag

Look familiar? The flag looks exactly like the costume! Knowing that the costumes are copied from the Japanese show, does this mean that the casters for the American version deliberately found a Scottish person strictly because the costume resembled the flag of his home country? And if so? Is that racist? Is it racist to wear the flag of your country across your chest? Or does said person wear it with pride? I think the latter would be true if the costume was designed specifically for him, but since it’s not and they hired him because of the resemblance to the flag, then God damn it, that must be racist as hell!

Not to mention in the board game Risk, Europe is riskcolored in blue. So is that racist as well? Is coloring a country in a game friggin’ racist if it’s using the same colors as flags? Or will some people living in that continent get ticked off that it’s blue just because it’s not a color they feel best cameron ninja stormrepresents them? If that’s the case, then it is indeed racist and/or offensive that Cameron from the Ninja Storm season is the green ranger simply because Asia is green in Risk. And thank God they made North America yellow instead of Asia, because we all know what a catastrophically racist move that would have been. The game would have flopped completely.

And why stop at racism? Isn’t the fact that the girls are always in pink and another generally in yellow sexist? Those colors are always associated with girls, thus any boy who shows any interest in those colors is considered feminine or gay. I remember when I was four years old, yellow was my favorite color. But once  my pre-school peers and I learned yellow was a girl color, I was a laughing stock in school. I was called a girl and all sorts of vile 4 year old imaginative insults. I may have even been called a poopy head! I quickly changed my favorite color to green, because that was the coolest power ranger at the time. If green was your favorite color, you were in, man. You were the shi…I mean poop.

But thanks Power Rangers. Thanks a lot. If it wasn’t for your sexist portrayal of actresses playing typically “girly” colors, I would have been spared that traumatizing torture. If you were so bold to break down the barriers of sexism, and made the girl in the green costume, and the boy in the yellow, maybe I would have been the coolest kid on the playground. Your insensitivity has ruined my life! It set me on a path I could never deviate from, before I even had a chance to choose my own path. I HATE YOU POWER RANGERS!!!

Enough about me.  Look, at the disproportionate casting. There is never more than two female rangers, and always a ton of male ones. That is ridiculous. Is this a symbol that women, save for a select few, specifically 1-2 in every 4-6 males are capable of doing great things? Of being the hero’s of a generation? Of saving the world? Of demonstrating great power? Is a team of two girls and four males demonstrating that men always have and always will keep women in check? That they will always overpower the women, and never rise against the men?

There is always one ranger who typically gets an awesome, incredibly powerful upgrade in a lot of the seasons. But the women never do. They might get extra power along with everyone else, and you might think, “Okay, there may be fewer women with power, but it is equal power.” But this “ultra upgrade” only applies to one person…a man…and it just goes to show that every time a woman gets more power, men will rise up with even greater power. You shameful bastard of a show!!

So the series fixed their “racist” problem. Did they ever remedy the sexist issues? Well… no! Some seasons only have one girl or none at all initially. Sometimes they are added in later, no doubt symbolizing that women are merely an afterthought when it comes to national dominance, just something to be added to please any nay-sayers.

ninja stormThough when Power Rangers Ninja Storm came out, a girl was the blue ranger and a boy was the yellow. Was this in response to sexist claims? No it was not. The Japanese show dictates the sex of each ranger. The girl costumes always sported skirts.

Since they used so much stock footage, they could not alter the costumes in the American version for continuities sake. But isn’t just the simple fact of having skirts on the girls sexist too? What the heck? Why do they have to dress differently? We have already established that they designate specific colors for the girls, so why do they have to add insult to injury with a skirt too?

If the color isn’t tell enough who the females are, the bumps on their chests might be a good tip off!

5-female-power-rangers

Oh…that’s why, they started to vary on their colors a bit. But what does that mean? The skirts are added to remind you who the girl is once they are not in a girly color? Well, we don’t need reminding who each individual ranger is once they morph for the men, so why do we need skirts for the ladies?

But wait! In many of the older seasons, the pink ranger was the only one with a skirt, meaning the Japanese actor for the yellow ranger was most likely male, thus America really did not find it suitable for a male to be in such a feminine color, so it had to be a girl cast for the role. That is downplaying both sexes there! That’s right folks, you read right…DOUBLE SEXISM!!!

So again it comes down to the original creators in Japan. Shame on them for always making sexist Power Rangers series!! Oh wait!! Can I say that? By saying that, I can be considered racist! Uh oh!!

Wait a minute…

Hmm…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Now I get it. Now I understand. Everything has come full circle. I finally see how it is a racist TV show. It isn’t until you start thinking about it deeply enough that you realize how all these thoughts fit together and bring you to a place where racism and sexism exist.

BUT NO!!!

It is even DEEPER than that!!!

The colors of each ranger represent a prejudice that is buried within us all. This, combined with the violence in the show, makes those more aware of this prejudice feel uncomfortable. So they accuse the show of being racist, unwilling to admit that they themselves just might be.

Not wanting the success of their show to slip, the producers start adjusting things about the show to ease the complainers consciences. But ironically, these changes make other people aware of what they are doing, thus their solutions for peace just bring more awareness to the issue they are trying to avoid!

Pretty soon everyone is pointing fingers at someone else, blaming someone for each individual problem, so before long everyone involved in the making of the series is guilty of something. Naturally, there are multiple races and both sexes working on these shows, so this creates racist and sexist feelings in the workplace. So now it is like the shows issues have overflowed into the studios making them, so what was once accidental offensive fiction has now spilled out into the real world!

Before you know it, people are infected by this and go home and tell their friends and family, who spread it to everyone they know, so that eventually the entire nation is gripped by these awful, unethical feelings. The atmosphere of daily life becomes dark and polluted…everyone feels alone, themselves versus the world kind of deal. Breakdowns, divorces, hysteria and other stress related illnesses become more frequent. Crime rates skyrocket! The nation goes in a downhill slump. And when everything is on the breaking point, things start to look up! The people realize that all this horrible, horrible mess isn’t really their fault. It can all be traced back to the Super Sentai Rangers of Japan.

Suddenly the haze clears and life returns to normal. America can now throw the blame to Japan for creating such an insensitive show.

So what do they have to say for themselves, for the hurt Americans demand answers!

They would honestly probably say “What are you talking about? Get over yourselves! There is nothing wrong with our series’ so please shut up and have a nice day.”

The Americans do not take nicely to this kind of backlash, so now intercontinental war has been started and all on the basis of race! But the women of America are not to be forgotten as well! They demand better representation in their lives, so now a civil war has emerged as well. Not to mention the home quarrels of the broken relationships that will never heal from when the show first came out and revealed it’s racism. Now the country is fighting on two fronts, one of them their own! But with all wars, other nations are dragged in, so that eventually the whole world is involved in one way or another. And who knows if these silent wars will ever be concluded?

There will never be a trust among people like there was pre-Power Rangers. It is the immoralities and offensive use of visual stimulation that has torn this world apart. It’s why there is such a gap between men and women, why different ethnicities will never truly call each other “brother” and to avoid being sexist, “sister.”

And going back to the rangers themselves, what options do they have left when casting new rangers? The actors can’t be in the same color as their skin, the girls can’t be in typical girl colors, etc. Like there are so many rules to just putting someone in a costume that they might as well just make them all colored gray and play it safe. I’m always hearing there are 50 shades of gray, so they’ve got plenty to work with. But I am not even sure if that is safe to say. Who am I offending by saying gray? You can never be too certain but I’m sure someone will be upset. Like jeez, do you see the fearsome uncertainty that plays on our every decision? The feeling of unease that fills our lungs with every breath, that makes our hearts pound just a little more urgently? I have always been looking for a reason why life stinks so badly and now I understand.

For more global reasoning, consider this.

It is because of Power Rangers that Hilary Clinton did not become the 45th President of the United States, why America will always have a presence in the middle east, why nations stockpile nuclear bombs and why men will always make more money than women, why the unemployment rate is so high, and why the Great Recession came about!!

Every problem you ever had from the 90’s onward might be related to the first season of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers…

And it’s all because they cast a black guy as the black ranger.

Image result for zack black ranger
He never knew accepting this job would become “the shot heard around the world”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Final Fantasy VI: One of the Greatest Games of All Time?

Continuing on with my marathon of Final Fantasy, I have just beaten number 6 and thought it also worthy to comment on.

For most of my life, I have heard that this is one of the best games of all time, and most people claim this one or Final Fantasy VII as the best in the series. Sure enough, if you look at best games of all time lists, FFVI will likely be at least in the top 20, and for best SNES game lists (as Final Fantasy 3), it will be in the top 5, if not the top 3.

So, you would think I would go into this game with incredibly high expectations. But don’t worry, I treated this like most any movie or game I play…meaning I went in with no expectations…well if anything, they were probably a little low judging by what I think of all the games prior.

What I found was that I was right in not expecting much. The game is mediocre, like the rest of them, and I certainly wouldn’t put it anywhere near “best games of anything.” And yeah, VII is way better. And VII isn’t even my favorite.

But that is not to say that this game was bad though. It was just okay. First let me mention what the game does well.

All the games prior to this one followed a basic format. Walk around on the world map, go to towns, then to some dungeon or cave or castle, fight stuff and kill something or find something, rinse and repeat. While this game does that as well, it doesn’t feel like it. All the environments are very varied and fun to traverse through. The environments just look great and don’t give the game a boring, repetitive feel like some of the others did. In terms of scenery and setting, yes this game is by far the best out of the first 6 games.

They also relaxed a bit on random encounters, making it bearable to walk around in this game. This is a huge plus for me. And what’s more, they even let up on the unbelievably annoying, and seemingly constant status effects. So, in other words, the gameplay is the best I’ve seen so far as well, well except for maybe FF4.

Honestly, through most of the game, it is pretty fun and a solid game overall. I like how the story dictated what characters you could use about half of the time, instead of just picking four of the 14 possible characters and just using them throughout the entire game like a lot of RPG’s do. The story itself started out interesting, but then it just kind of stopped halfway through the game and turned out to be not so great.

I like how every character could learn any spell by equipping the summons. That was a nice touch.

The best addition to this game is the fact that you keep all your experience if you die. You will start at the last time you saved like all the other games, but this time you kept all that hard earned experience, making it easier to ensure you aren’t always underleveled.

So yeah, not a terrible game. But here is what kind of ruined it for me. Instead of having annoying status effects all the time, this game loved putting in enemies that would counterattack after you killed them. This became quite annoying, as these counters were generally very strong. There is even one part where you only have one character in your party, and when you kill a certain enemy, it countered by casting a spell that turns you into stone. In other words, that’s an instant game over. That is just cheap and/or horrible game design! You shouldn’t be able to find yourself in that kind of situation! And towards the end of the game there are enemies that when killed, instantly kill one of your party members. Why? You just wind up running from them, because you typically fight two of them along with another enemy. It is not worth using the items or magic it cost to revive two characters that are guaranteed to die. This should not be in the game. It doesn’t bring any challenge to the game, it is just an annoying, cheap, unfair way of inconveniencing the player. But you can’t have a Final Fantasy game without those factors involved, it seems!

 

And speaking of death after battle, there is a spell that puts a timer on one of your characters, usually about 30 seconds. When it drops to 0, that person is dead. But you would think that when you defeated all the enemies in that battle that the counter would stop. But no, it doesn’t. After killing the enemies, the amount of gold, experience and any items you get all show up one at a time, and that counter is still going, so if you take too long to read your rewards or if the counter is very low at the end of the battle, you can count on having to revive the character after the battle.

Image result for final fantasy 6 death counter

Another issue with this game is the frame rate during battles. It just randomly slows down badly, often messing up my timing and so many times I’ve used the wrong attack or targeted the wrong thing because the game was too busy sucking to register my button inputs.

But all that is tolerable. What really killed me was the end of the game. As a child, in every RPG, I would switch out all the characters and level them all equally, only to find that towards the end, I was horribly underleveled and had to grind four characters to make them adequate enough to beat the game. So after falling into this trap a whole lot of times, I learned to just pick four characters from the get go, and things got a whole lot easier. It turns out, for FF6, I would have been better off playing this game as a child. For the last area of the game, without any warning or chance to back out and prepare, you have to choose 12 of the 14 characters and split them up into three groups. Most of the characters were within 5 levels of each other thanks to the story having you always using different characters, but most of the time I used the same 4, who were much, much, much stronger than the rest. So now I had to divide them up to carry my weaker members. But I didn’t know this was going to happen, so everyone had crappy gear, didn’t know many useful spells, and were slightly underleveled. I also never got a chance to buy a bunch of items to keep me alive.

So what did I have to do? I had to unequip all the characters I wasn’t using and equip the group I was using with the best possible stuff I had. Thank goodness I never sold any equipment, for some members were stuck with old crappy weapons, but this was better than having none at all.

To make matters worse, the strength of your enemies seemed to have tripled. These fights would have been easy with my A-Team, but now they were downright difficult. The game doesn’t give you enough magic points to use any offensive spells, you had to save it all for healing, and I barely had enough to do that. My saving grace throughout the whole game were 3 items that allowed you to equip two weapons and double attack on each round. So yeah, I beat the entire game more or less just using physical attacks. It was cool.

But anyway, after dying a bunch of times, they eventually all grew a few levels thanks to keeping your XP when you die. Once I finally reached the end of one section, I had to unequip all my weapons, armor, relics and summons, so that they would be available for the next group, then painstakingly equip it all on them. So I just kept moving on, fighting a bunch of bosses with my three underleveled/undergeared groups and somehow managed to eventually beat it. I progressed through the game fairly quickly and easily, but I was in the last area for around 4 hours before I conquered it. The worst part is there is a long boring scene before the last boss that you can’t skip. The first time I fought him, I didn’t know what I was doing, because all your characters might have to fight him, so I ended up fighting him with all completely unequipped characters and died immediately. Then I had to watch the long boring scene again, and lose to the boss again. After the second failure, I understood what was going on, and after once again watching the long boring scene, I went all out and beat him. By the end of it, I was sick of the game.

Image result for final fantasy 6 kefka

But they had one more great surprise for me at the end. A long…oh my God, how long…boring…seemingly never ending scene. I kid you not, between the ending and the credits, its over 20 minutes long. The credits are terrible even! Instead of the traditional scrolling text, they opted to just show an airship floating around through clouds while occasionally showing a name or two at time. I mean, it is so uninteresting AND SO F-ING LONGGGGG!

And the game suddenly becomes obsessed with this woman you never even see in the game having a baby. Like towards the end, you go into this town you’ve been to a couple times before, and she’s all the people can talk about all of a sudden. Who is she and why should I care? She isn’t important to the story. She doesn’t do anything useful at all. And then when you beat the game, like 3 minutes of the ending scene is dedicated to this woman. Who is she? Is it just supposed to be some weird happy ending, symbolizing that things live on and grow in the aftermath of chaos? It’s just stupid.

So the game is pretty good until the last dungeon. That is the point I am trying to make I suppose.

To rank them from best to worst, I would say

FF2

FF4

FF6

FF5

FF4: The After Years

FF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Final Fantasy V=Annoying Game

Well, I’m back, here to talk about my experience with Final Fantasy V as I plow my way through most of the series. I’ve already spoken about 1, 2 and 4, and now I’ve got a bit to say about 5 as well.

To start, it’s not a horrible game, but it isn’t very good either. I like the story and the job system was kind of fun, albeit annoying at times. But it made for some fun customization options.

There isn’t too much to say about it that I haven’t already said with all the other games. By now I have realized that all these games have one great flaw. There is just so much annoying crap in them that it makes them very difficult to fully enjoy. This one is no exception. So I am going to single out what really made this game annoying.

That would be the last area in the game…

As per all the games, this place is loaded with difficult monsters that would love nothing more than to kill you most savagely. That’s not the real problem though. The problem is is that these monsters prefer you to be a zombie, a rock or a frog before they kill you. This is the most obnoxious thing about this game. Every monster seems to have the ability to turn you into one of these things. And the dungeon is very long, so you are constantly having to cure yourself of these ailments.

 

The rock and frog status isn’t horrible, for you can cure them with the Esuna spell, but it gets pretty taxing on your MP, so thank God I just happened to stock up on the curative items, Soft (cures rock) and Maidens’ Kiss (cures frog) throughout the whole game so that I had a crap ton to heal with. I stocked up on these because the last three games taught me that they would most likely come up to annoy the hell out of me, and I was right. But what I had not counted on was the newer zombie ailment. This can’t be cured by any spell other than using a cottage on a save point or sleeping at an inn. The only item that can cure it is Holy Water. I unfortunately did not stock up on these, so I only had 4 on me that I happened to find in chests.

So I painstakingly fight my way to the final boss, only to find that he loves using some spell that does a ton of damage to you, but worse, puts a random status effect on all characters. This is just great, for my first time through, I had used up all my Holy Waters, thus any characters that were zombified had to stay like that. And if you don’t know, this is a serious problem. A zombie character is basically dead, so you lose their attacks against the boss, but they don’t actually die, they instead attack you. And you or the enemy can’t kill them, they will be there forever. You can’t heal them if you don’t have Holy Water, so you are completely screwed and might as well reset the game at this point, because you won’t beat the boss.

So going through from where ever the last save point was, I made sure to keep my 4 Holy Waters. This meant that every time I was turned into a zombie I had to reset the game and try again. After like four tries, I finally made it to the boss and was able to cure all characters that turned into zombies.

This is a needless annoyance. What if I didn’t have any Holy Waters? I would have had to fight my way back out of the dungeon and then buy a bunch of them, and then redo the entire final area all over again! And that is something that just should not happen! Why do all of these games just have annoying, time consuming issues? This doesn’t make the game anymore challenging, it’s just cheap and unfair, stupid and a waste of time. The challenge in a game should not come from such cheap tricks. They are on their fifth game and they still have yet to figure that out!! They wouldn’t be such bad games, but my God! It eventually just gets so irritating that I may or may not look like this…angry.person

And one more thing that is super annoying in this game is the time it takes to bring up the menu. It takes about three seconds. This doesn’t sound like very long, but dear God, when your sitting there just waiting, it seems like much longer.  It takes a tad longer to exit the menu too. So it becomes very annoying.

But the dumbest thing of all about this game is the enemy counterattacks. This is nothing new in the series. Some enemies can counter any of your attacks with either spells or physical attacks. The counterattack would occur immediately after your attack. But not in this game. They would counter whenever they feel like it. And some of these counterattacks are devastating. In the older games, you could react by holding off on an attack or healing someone who was countered, but those simple strategies become obsolete in this game. They will randomly deploy their counterattacks in FF5. So say your guy hits an enemy that counters, you wait a bit, but he does not counter, so you attack again, still nothing, and then again. You’ve done 3 hits to the guy, but one of your characters hits twice in one attack, so that’s four hits to the enemy. After those four hits, he decides to counter with four attacks of his own…one for each hit he took. He will then use his normal attack as well. So that’s five hits coming at you at once. If the counter hits all your characters, there is an extremely high chance you will all die. If it a single person attack, he will likely take out 2 or 3 of your characters.

There seems to be no pattern to when they counter, it is just completely random, and many times have I died due to this horrible flaw.

Would I recommend this game to anyone?

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If I had to rank the games at this point, it would go as follows, from best to worst…

FFII

FFIV

FFV

FFIV: The After Years

FF