My Top 10 Favorite Star Wars Characters

I must be in a Star Wars mood, since I just wrote about it last week. But hey, I just watched season 7 of Clone Wars and with the weekly Mandalorian episodes, how could you blame me?

Today I will attempt to pick 10 out of the countless Star Wars characters who I believe to be my favorite. This is going to be really tough, but here goes.

 

#10

Han Solo

han solo

He’s easily one of the funniest characters in the Star Wars universe thanks to his reckless courage, crude/sarcastic personality, and tendency to tick off the wrong people. Yet he always pulls through, and while he’s a jerk to most people, he will sacrifice everything to help the ones he cares about. Whether portrayed by Harrison Ford, or the guy from Solo, he is a whole lot of fun to watch.

#9

Darth Maul

star wars darth maul

The first time I saw this guy I was blown away. Seriously, how much cooler could someone look? Plus a double-sided lightsaber? Awesome acrobats? This guy is nuts. I was devastated when he died, but thrilled when he came back. It wasn’t until Clone Wars/ Rebels that we got to really see his personality. His is a cunning, manipulative, and hugely angry son-of-a-gun who constantly gets shat on to the point where you feel bad for him.

#8

Yoda

yoda

I think a big part of Yoda that intrigues me is the mystery around him. We know so little about him, other than he is likely the most powerful Jedi to exist in the timelines exposed to viewers. Sadly the only time we really see just how grand he is in episodes 2 & 3, and they are two of the best scenes in the films. He proves he can easily match and overpower even the mightiest of Sith Lords, both with his saber and force abilities.

But he’s a strange guy. I’m pretty sure he knew everything that was going on with Palpatine’s grand scheme and just let it happen. I suspect he wanted to retire when he was on top…

#7

Darth Tyrannus

Count-dooku

This Sith Lord is interesting for he is a well-respected retired Jedi. But what the movies don’t show is just how powerful he truly is. Sort of. He easily defeats Anakin and Obi-Wan in Attack of the Clones, and even stands his ground for a bit against Yoda, but it isn’t until Clone Wars that we see just what a power house he is. His feats in that show are more or less astounding, proving he is one of the most powerful Jedi/Sith ever.

Plus Christoper Lee has one of the coolest voices ever, so that makes him even more awesome.

#6

R2-D2

r2

He started out as this adorable, charismatic, loveable droid, and remained a big part of the series until he’s replaced by BB-8. But why I like him so much is because he’s a frickin’ bad-ass. This droid does not give a f$&k. He will fight anything that stands in his way. He’s defeated numerous battle droids, dodged hundreds of lasers, and even led a mission of his own during the Clone Wars. I don’t know what’s stored inside his trash can of a body, but you can bet he’s got a tool or weapon to help you out in any situation.

#5

Rex

star wars captain rex 2

Wielding 2 pistols rather than the more standard rifles, this guy is the most bad-ass Clone out there. Serving under Anakin during the Clone Wars, this guy has been a key part of many highly dangerous and equally important missions. He is as loyal as can be, bred and trained to be the perfect soldier. He even sticks around to do his part in the civil war, for there is nothing this guy does better than war.

#4

Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader

star wars anakin-vader

I really like the whole story behind Anakin. The chosen one, born of the midichlorians, a ridiculously powerful Jedi turned Sith turned proud father. As a Padawan, he’s a cocky immature prick, but once he is promoted and mature, he’s a very powerful warrior and incredible tactician. He is a key player in the success of the Clone Wars, both in the fact that he is an unstoppable powerhouse and helps the republic beat the separatists, and also taking down the republic and starting an empire which was why the Clone Wars was started in the first place. So like I said…key player for both sides.

The Clone Wars shows how truly powerful he is as a Jedi. As a Sith Lord, we don’t get to see too much of him, other than he is angry and ruthless. Knowing the events that led up to him becoming Vader in his scary suit and all, you can’t really blame him for being angry. I actually feel bad for the guy. His life pretty much completely sucks. He lost everything he loved simply because he feared to lose them, and is forced to live for several decades with this knowledge eating away at him. Not to mention he has to live in that miserable suit as practically a machine because he had to pick a fight with his best friend/ father-figure.

#3

Obi-Wan Kenobi

obiwan

Obi-Wan is one of the most powerful Jedi ever. He slays a Sith Lord when he’s just a Padawan, proves throughout the Clone Wars, both in the show and movies, that he’s a beast, and his “duel” with Darth Maul in Rebels shows he doesn’t stop growing in power after his isolation post-Order 66.

Ewan McGregor gives him a strong and hilarious personality that carries perfectly into The Clone Wars series, making him one of the most entertaining characters in the franchise.

#2

Sabine Wren

star wars sabine dark saber

Sabine is a master at like everything. She is incredibly acrobatic, to near Jedi levels, a master at hand-to-hand combat and all sorts of weaponry. But she’s also a tech genius, and explosives extraordinaire. Not to mention she’s a crazy good artist.

She even received training from Jedi to use the Dark Saber, which belonged to her, which is kind of a big deal. She’s got a deep backstory, and a wonderful, loving, not to mention loveable personality, and I hope very much to see more of her one day.

#1

Ahsoka Tano

star wars ahsoka-lead-1605788471

We essentially watch Ahsoka, the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker, grow up. Unfortunately her whole life is nothing but war, and because of this (and being apprenticed to an extremely reckless and powerful Jedi), she quickly becomes the ultimate warrior. Her acrobatic skills are unlike any other Jedi, making her a hard target to hit on the battlefield. Her lightsaber skills become very hard to rival as well, especially after she adds a second lightsaber, thus changing up her whole style to match her swift movements.

Ahsoka displays enormous power throughout the Clone Wars, which only grows along with her body. In season 7, we really see just how incredible she is. But even though she leaves the order, she is willing to help those in need, thus she gets dragged into the civil war, continuing the only life she knows, like some orange skinned Rambo, but with laser swords.

And there you have it! That’s 10 of my favorite Star Wars characters! Though I wouldn’t exactly say I’m certain on this, as there are so many. Definitely, without a doubt, Sabine and Ahsoka belong where they are. They hint that those two might go an adventure to find Ezra, and I wish they make a show or something about that. Seeing my two favorite characters in their own series would be a dream come true.

Ranking All Of The Star Wars Series/Media (Current Disney Canon)

Ever since Disney took over Lucasfilm, all the countless forms of Star Wars media, especially the endless number of books, were eliminated from any official canon, leaving the six movies and the Clone Wars series the only canon material. They also said any Star Wars venture to come out after the Disney acquisition will indeed be canon from now on.

So today, I will be ranking all the series or clumps of media in which I find to be worst to best. For clarification, I will not be ranking individual movies or novels, but instead trilogies or books as a whole. Since there is so much Star Wars content, I know for a fact there will be some missed items on this list.

#11 Video Games

fallen order

Honestly, as far as I know, there aren’t many of these since Disney’s takeover. Pretty much just Fallen Order, a couple Battlefronts, a VR game or two, and some Rogue Squadron game that may or may not even be released yet.

I am placing this at the bottom of the list simply because I haven’t played any yet, with the exception of Battlefront, and I wasn’t too fond of it.

#10 Novels/ Short Stories

best-new-canon-star-wars-books

Again, this is so low for I have only read like a short story or two, and they were just okay. I very much want to read more when I have a moment, and was hoping to eventually collect them all, but they are being released so rapidly that that is surely nothing but a hopeless dream at this point.

#9 Comics

star wars-comics-1

I do own a handful of comics, but these too are growing insanely fast. Of the five or six I have read, they are slightly interesting, but ultimately range from somewhat boring to okay.

#8 The Resistance Series

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This series is pretty awful, save for the last handful of episodes. It is clearly geared more towards small children, and hardly anything interesting happens. It also mostly takes place in a single area, which is highly unusual for Star Wars. In fact, this show does not feel like Star Wars at all. But like I said, at the end, when it takes place concurrently with Force Awakens,  it gets pretty good.

I have only watched the first season, so I can’t say anything for the second one.

#7 The Sequel Trilogy

star wars the sequel trilogy

I enjoyed Episode 7 and 9 right away, and 8 took me three views to accept it. They are good movies, and I like most of the new characters. But good lord is this trilogy a mess. They start out by banking solely on nothing but nostalgia, then go off in a completely different direction, and then yank it back to the first path while using fan service as possible band-aid/blinder to how much they messed.

This whole trilogy was handled very poorly, especially when it comes to the story, and shows that without George Lucas behind the helm, things don’t go so smoothly.

In fact, George Lucas just revealed his plans for his sequel trilogy, and it sounds immensely better than what we got.

#6 Star Wars Story Movies

solo

This includes Rogue One and Solo.

These two movies were hard to place. They are both fantastic. Rogue One is probably my least favorite movie next to Last Jedi, (though it grows on me every time I watch it), but Solo is probably in my top 3. They are great supplemental films and I hope Disney stops being cheap idiots and start making more, for they clearly handle these better than the sequels.

#5 The Mandalorian Series

mandalorian

This is a great show. I love the whole tone and feel of it. It has great action, and an intriguing storyline that gets even more so each episode. There is so much lore surrounding the Mandalorians, and this show will most likely pull from all of it to make a very solid and worthy series.

#4 Rebels Series

star wars rebels series

This show is really good. All of the characters are very likeable, and it does a nice job advancing the story of some established characters as well, while also creating unique storylines that cross over and run adjacent to already established storylines.

This series can be ranked very closely with my next selection. It was hard to say either way, so consider them on even footing.

#3 The Original Trilogy

star wars orginal trilogy

For the time, these movies were completely minding-blowing, and still are today. Last time I watched them though, they were starting to feel aged however. But to say that it takes over 40 years to show some age, that’s pretty impressive. Regardless, these movies and their characters and story are fantastic, and always will be.

#2 The Prequel Trilogy

star wars preqeul trilogy

As much as I love the original trilogy, as a child it had always left me wanting. I craved to see Darth Vader’s past, and a time when the Jedi reigned free. Surely Star Wars was more than this dark, depressing rebellion struggle?

In short, the prequels fulfilled my every desire, right down to my wish that they actually did something cool with Boba Fett (obviously I am talking about Jango).

I love the worlds, the characters, and especially the storyline, particularly when it comes to episode 3. That movie blows me away time and time again. But what really sets it apart is all the awesome action. This is everything I always wanted in settings I always hoped for.

#1 The Clones Wars Series

star wars-the-clone-wars-review-image-1024x587

To me, Star Wars is this series. Everything else just supplements it. You get to learn about so many characters that may have only been glimpsed in movies and even see them in action. You get to see into the lives of the Clones. There are so many excellent storylines, and it’s fun to see all the characters go through each one, learning and growing from their experience. 

And where the show really shines is the intense action. This is easily the most violent Star Wars related media ever made, and it’s worth it. It’s so amazing and fun to watch. The Jedi in real life have so much human restriction, but in a CGI show, you can really see what you always knew they were capable of!

The show does a great job bridging episode 2 and 3, and now we know what Obi-Wan, Anakin and the others really went through in the time between those movies.

Season one is good, but it’s not until season 2 that this show really starts to shine, and it does nothing but get better and better. The recently released season 7 is the most amazing thing Star Wars has ever achieved and then some. The last few episodes nearly brought me to tears from the awesomeness.

So there you have it. These are all the Star Wars medias I have been involved with that I can think of at the moment.

Star Wars has been an important part of my life since as long as I can remember, and I am so thankful the franchise is continuing to go strong, despite a few hiccups here and there.

The Halloween Franchise Is As Twisted And Messed Up As Michael Myers

Firstly, I love the Halloween movies. I really like the storyline, the character of Michael Myers and basically what a bad ass and mostly creative killer he is. I like the cozy town of Haddonfield where the films usually take place, and all the inhabitants; the whole lore behind the movies is very interesting to me.

But the timelines are all out of control and newcomers would likely be confused on where to start and what order to watch them.

This post will either help or confuse you. Let’s take a look at what’s going on.

halloweenOkay, so the movies start out with the famous Halloween. But don’t get this confused with the two other movies of the same name. Halloween (1978) will get you to where you want to go.

 

halloween 2Then came Halloween II, a direct sequel to the first that takes place on the same night and gives a reason why Michael Myers was so hell-bent on killing Laurie Strode, the protagonist of the first film. Okay, awesome.

 

halooween 3Halloween III is where things get wanky. Despite the name, this has nothing to do with the first two movies, and even the main slasher, Michael Myers, is nowhere to be found. It’s simply an unrelated movie that takes place on Halloween.

haloween 4

 

Then we have Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, which brings us back to the world of the first two, as the title suggests. This time, he’s hunting a little girl who is his niece or something. As far as I can remember there are no returning characters from the first two other than the psychopathic killer and his doctor.

 

halloween 5Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers is a direct sequel to the fourth, taking place a year later. Very cool.

 

Halloween6cover

 

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is unrelated to the fifth movie, but takes place in the same town and timeline. This delves into Michael’s background and why he’s so god-damn invincible and efficient at killing. It’s weird.

HalloweenH20posterHalloween H20: 20 Years Later. Don’t get this confused with the elemental combination of water, as I once did. As this title suggests, this takes place 20 years after the original movie, which means Laurie Strode faces off with Michael once again. It’s pretty cool.

Halloween Resurrection_Theatrical_Poster_2002

 

Halloween: Resurrection. I don’t even know what to say about this one. It is a direct sequel to H20, but only for like 5 minutes. Then Michael returns home and kills people on a reality show led by Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks. Cuz…why not? It clearly was just a movie made for the sheer fun of it.

Okay, so far, with the exception of the third one, it’s a linear storyline that follows the same overall plot. But things are going to get a little messy now, sort of.

Halloween2007So next we have a remake. Halloween (2007) if you will. This is an updated version of the first movie basically that dedicates a decent amount of time into Michael’s childhood and why he became so bat-shit crazy.

 

Then we get a sequel to the remake called Hallhalloween 2 remakeoween II. Not confusing at all. This starts out like it’s going to be a remake of the second film, but then turns into it’s own storyline, taking place a year after the first remake.

 

There was going to be a third film in this new timeline, but it was canceled. Probably because of how not-so-good the second one was.

Okay, so now things are going to get really nuts.

halloween 2018Halloween again…The third time this movie is made. Halloween (2018) will do. But no, this is not a remake. This is a sequel to the very first movie, 40 years prior. And yes, it takes place 40 years after the original.

 

So wouldn’t that make it a sequel to Resurrection, you might be wondering?

No, this is a direct sequel to the first movie, and only the first movie. It ignores all the other movies. So pretend they don’t exist.

Doing this effectively wipes out the entire plotline that the original second movie established and which basically everything that happens afterwards is based around. So it’s kind of a big deal.

In other words, the sequel to Halloween is called Halloween. Yeah…

And there are two movies in production that are sequels to Halloween (2018). Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends. Well at least they are aren’t called Halloween II and III.

So let’s recap now. We’ve got an 8-movie series with the third having nothing to do with the other 7. The seven connected movies take place over 20 years with a whole slew of different characters, recurring characters occasionally mixed in, and the same killer throughout.

Then we have a remake of the first that spawned it’s own sequel story that is different from the original series that it started out remaking.

Then we have a trilogy of sequels that ignores the remake timeline entirely, and all but the first movie from the original timeline is erased, thus jamming it’s way in between the first two original movies and creating an entirely individual timeline but with the same characters from the first movie.

Some of these characters, or relatives of old characters occasionally showed up in other movies in the original established timeline, which makes it all the more confusing that they reprise their roles in a sequel to the same movie, but in a different timeline.

I write this post in jest, it’s not really that hard to understand. But that might be because I’ve been watching these movies for decades. It still might be a tad confusing for someone looking to get into the series, but I promise you’ll be able to wrap your head around it.

The Best Inventions Of All Time

Throughout history, humans have climbed to the top of the food chain thanks to our innovative brains and thus, the inventions we have created. I am going to make a list of some of the more impressive inventions that have ever been created in my opinion These are also most certainly things we take for granted today.

Electricity

bulb-close-up-electricity-577514-2

I don’t know how someone can even begin to discover electricity, but it’s certainly an amazing invention that runs the world.

The Telephone

telephoneTelephones baffle me. How does talking into something send your voice over entire continents with little to no delay via a bunch of cables? Needless to say, this was a game-changer, and continues to thrive today, going from at least one in every household to one in every pocket/purse.

Caller ID

caller id

Remember these? The first one we ever owned looked much like the one pictured above. Before then, I would talk about this idea with my brothers, but thought it would never happen.

“Imagine if the phone could tell you who’s calling, and give you the phone number of who’s calling?”

That was just a far-off fantasy. Oddly, enough, Caller ID is something people take for granted and anyone born after the 90’s probably can’t even begin to imagine that something seemingly so simple was never around until the last 25 years or so. Now it’s built right into phones, but originally it was a separate box you had to connect to the phone and stored I think like 50 numbers, so you had to sit there and delete them all the time.

This invention was a game-changer. Now you didn’t have to answer the phone and hope to God it wasn’t a telemarketer or someone you didn’t know. It took all surprise out of using the telephone.

Pie

apple_pie_square

There are countless kinds of pie. You can basically throw anything you want in between some dough, bake it, and bam, you’ve got the most delicious thing ever. Like seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad pie. And they’re so versatile, they make appropriate ones for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. With Thanksgiving approaching, you can bet I’m looking forward to a whole lot of pie-feasting.

Doughnuts

doughnuts

Oh my God, doughnuts. So unhealthy, yet so delicious. They come in all shapes, sizes, flavors, colors, toppings, fillings…oh man! Like pies, each one is delicious. A truly irresistible delicacy.

Automobiles

1908-Ford-Model-T_0

These were a huge development for transportation. Once upon a time, most people were walking or using horses, now there are as many vehicles as people on the planet. What would take several hours to walk, now takes several minutes.

Like seriously. Every time I look under the hood of an automobile, I’m like “How in the heck did someone invent this?”

It’s just too bad people are so awful at operating them. And now traffic is a major problem, but hey, it beats riding a horse 50 miles in the elements instead!

Airplanes

airplane

To think man could ever take to the sky! Many people I imagine believed this could never be done. And yet now it’s the fastest way to travel! Like automobiles, I can not believe they exist. Look at the original plane up there. How did that turn into the massive commercial liners we see floating above us all the time? Not to mention the fighters that can fly at the speed of sound and all that. Absolutely remarkable.

Bikinis

bikini model

A few slight pieces of cloth over the right areas, and women can legally walk around just about naked. They come in all shapes and sizes, thus some show off more than others. But even the most preservative bikinis still leave little to the imagination. Thanks to these, going to a pool or beach is like living in an erotic fantasy.

GPS

gps

This is another thing I talked about as a kid but never thought would happen. “Imagine there was something in your car that would tell you where to go?” I would say. Well blam-o. GPS was born, but not until I was in high school, and I didn’t get one until I graduated college, and it was every bit as wonderful as I could ever hope. I used to be terrified of going on long journeys, because I hated reading maps and missing a turn if using something like mapquest could mean utter disaster. But GPS changed all that, and thanks to this wonderful invention, I had two careers that involved driving all over the place every day.

Nowadays, they are taken for granted, as they are slapped right in with your car or phone now, but originally, they were a very expensive piece of hardware you had to suction cup to your windshield.

Yoga Pants

yoga pants

I’ve noticed women now refer to these as “leggings” while most men call them yoga pants.

Yoga pants first came out when I was in high school, but they were much different. They were a soft, cozy looking fabric that were loose around the legs, but very tight around the butt. Eventually, companies started putting words on the butts, like “babe” or “hot.,” as if the butt hugging pants weren’t enough to get guys to look at them.

After a few years, yoga pants changed to skin tight, body hugging pants that leave little to the imagination. Nowadays, at least where I live, this is all women wear. This is both an amazing thing, and a not so amazing thing. If the girls got a great figure, and particularly a nice tush, then you’ll be surely  be drooling. 

But I did say every woman wears these, so when an overly obese 60-year-old woman walks by, it’s going to ruin your day.

But thanks to yoga pants or leggings, pretty much going anywhere has now become a pleasant treat.

Internet

Global communication network concept.

The internet is amazing and terrifying. For bad people, it makes it super easy to ruin good peoples lives. For everyone though, it brings the world to your finger tips. Communication, knowledge, entertainment, everything is a few clicks away now. It’s also terrifying how dependent we are on it nowadays, and that is coming from someone who doesn’t use it nearly as often as most people.

Again, this is something that most people take for granted. Internet did not become a household thing until the 2000’s. I myself got it in 2000 I believe. It’s crazy to think how much the internet has grown since then, and how much easier it is to use. People who had dial-up internet know what I’m talking about…

It won’t be long until the internet completely dominates our lives, if it hasn’t already that is…

Calzones

calzones

Like damn. This is basically a pie, but with an Italian twist. An assortment of cheeses, vegetables, meats, sauces… pretty much whatever you want, all baked or fried in a delicious dough. So good but so unhealthy.

Buildings

empire_state

From towering skyscrapers to gigantic complexes to the houses we live in, I find building construction fascinating. Like cars, looking at these enormous buildings makes me wonder how humans even began to build them. It’s fascinating stuff, I tell you.

 

What The Eff Does The “F” Word Mean?

Have you ever thought about what the word “fuck” actually means? It is easily the most versatile and most used word of all time. How many times do you use it a day? I imagine a lot, but not nearly as many times as you hear it per day. And that is because it can mean a hundred different things apparently.

Let’s think of all the ways the f word is used.

It can be used as an adjective. “Look at that fucking house.”

It can even be used as an adjective for an adjective, transforming it into a super-adjective. “That’s fucking great.”

You can use it as a replacement for excited words like “wow” or “awesome,” as in “Holy fuck!” which can also take the place of scared words like, “yikes.” “Oh fuck!” is correct in this case as well. Angry expressions also work here. If you are mad, you may simply say “fuck!” “Mother fucker” can also be used here, or even as an insult.

It can be used to start a sentence or something to buy time while you think of what to say, like “umm” or “uh” How many times have you heard someone say, “Fucking… I can’t even tell you what kind of night I had.”

It’s another word for sex, but apparently is a rougher version of the term “making love.” “I fucked my significant other.”

It is also something you can take out of something, so to speak. “I fucked the fuck out of her” or “I drove the fuck out of that car.”

Use it to reject something. “Fuck that,” or “Fuck you,” the latter also considered an insult, which can also be said as “Fuck off,” which essentially means “Leave me alone,” or “get out of here.”

Speaking of that, it is also something that can be removed, or else add emphasis on something that can be removed. “Leave me the fuck alone” or “Get the fuck out of here.” In extreme cases, one may say “Get the fuck out of fucking here!” “Fucking” in this sentence being used as a…pronoun…adverb? It’s been a long time since grammar school, so who the fuck knows?

It can even be used as the subject of a sentence in these same lines, as well as an insult. “Leave me the fuck alone, you fuck,” and “Get that fucker out of here.” You can even throw in some adjectives to make it complete. “Get that fucking mother fucker the fuck out of fucking here.”

Yes, “mother” is often a preposition to “fucker,” usually for insulting purposes, or as I mentioned earlier, to express frustration or anger.

Think terms like “huh?” are too short? Say “What the fuck?” instead. It has the same meaning. It can also similarly be used when a subject is involved. “What the fuck is up with the cat?” or “What the fuck are you doing?”

Use “Fuck, man” too show sympathy, disappointment, confusion, exasperation. A full sentence might sound like, “Fuck, man. I had a fucking lousy day; I’m fucking tired.”

If something is disturbing, you can utter “That’s fucked up.”

The very same phrase can be said to describe something that is battered, beaten, or messed up in anyway. You can even pre-warn someone of being fucked up by letting them know, “I’m going to fuck you up.”

And speaking of messy things, if you walk into a house that is really disorganized or straight-up trashed, you will likely be unable to refrain yourself from exclaiming, “Holy fuck, this place is fucked!” Which essentially is a shorter version of saying “This place is fucked up,” which could also mean it’s a strange, weird, distant, bizarre, creepy, scary,  or an uncomfortable place.

So be careful how you use this, as it can mean a whole slew of different things, but ultimately anything that is not in it’s normal state, or what society as a whole or just what you yourself perceive as normal, then it is safe to say it’s fucked up.

Then we have the term, “Get fucked.” This can be used as an insult, similar to “fuck off.” Though it can be taken as a more literal sense, meaning, “get sex,” which is a good thing, but not in the case of “Get fucked,” so it seems.

But you can say “I’m going to get fucked!” which in that case is a good thing, unless you remark this right before being forced into non-consensual intercourse. Thelatter would be a good thing to inform your parents of, the former, not so much.

You can use it to express your frustration at yourself, like when you do something stupid, you can sigh, “Fuck me!” Don’t get this confused with “Fuck me!” which invites someone to have sex with you, or the completely redundant exclamation of someone so caught up in pleasure during sex that they cry out “Fuck me!” as encouragement while already being fucked.

When you have enough of something, you could throw down what is annoying you and say, “Fuck it.”

This very same term can also be used before doing something against your better judgement. You can shrug off your conscience, fear, or what have you by saying “fuck it.”

And while on the subject of shrugging things off, the f word can be something you can give away. Say “I don’t give a fuck” when you don’t care about something. But that’s just the low level. If you really don’t care about something, that’s when you start handing them out. “I could give two fucks about your problems.” But be careful on how many you give out, because before long you’ll find yourself saying “I don’t have any fucks left to give.”

When someone does something that negatively affects you, you could say they “fucked you”, no not in the sexual sense…do your best to keep these phrases straight please! Another way to say it is that they “fucked you over”.

It can also be used as a simple noun, such as “You dumb fuck!” or even just “You fuck!”

And when all things fail, and all versions of passion become too much, you can just go wild and start throwing it in at any possible opening.

For instance, if you are very angry and can’t keep it in anymore, you could simply say, “FUCK THIS FUCKING STUPID GOD DAMN FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER FUCKING PIECE OF FUCK. IT’S SO FUCKING FUCKED! I’VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!

Heck, there are plenty of people who use the word so frequently, even without their emotions running high, that I find myself struggling to piece together what they are actually trying to say, because there are so many f-bombs being dropped, the rest of the word gets swallowed up in the blast.

Those are all the uses I can think of, for it’s truly mind-boggling to try and put them all to meaning.

Here’s the actual definition when googled. And it’s just as fucked as you would imagine.

erbverb: fuck; 3rd person present: fucks; past tense: fucked; past participle: fucked; gerund or present participle: fucking

  1. 1. have sex with (someone).
    • (of two people) have sex.
  2. 2. ruin or damage (something).
    • treat (someone) badly or unfairly.

nounnoun: fuck; plural noun: fucks

  1. an act or instance of having sex.
    • a sexual partner.

exclamationexclamation: fuck

  1. used alone or as a noun or verb in various phrases to express annoyance, contempt, or impatience.

Man, what a beefy multi-meaning word. And really it’s fucking stupid, and makes people sound really dumb when they say it.

Can you think of any other uses of the f-word that I missed? For surely there are dozens more. Perhaps different parts of the world use it for different meanings?

Video Game Sequels That Blew Away Their Predecessors

Every now and then, a sequel comes out that completely blows the game before it out of the water, regardless of how bad or good the former game was. I am just going to keep a running list of such games.

I will only be comparing them to the game that was released directly before the one that I rate significantly better.

Metroid II: Return of Samus

(Game Boy)

Metroid_II_US_boxart

The first Metroid on NES kinda sucks. This, especially for being on a weaker system, fixes a lot of problems with the first and expands upon the gameplay and environment.

Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

(Game Boy)

Super_Mario_Land_2_box_art

The first Super Mario Land is a good game, but it’s very short and not that good. This game is much longer (though still short) with creative power-ups and levels.

Mario Kart: Double Dash (GameCube)

mariokart double dash

Oh my goodness, this game is good. Mario Kart 64 is completely flattened by this one, thanks to fun, creative levels, special items for each character, tons of unlockables, a huge character roster and just as many carts to choose from. Not to mention two characters at once!

Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (GameCube)

Sonic_adv_2_battle_box

So I’m cheating a bit on this one, as I’m using the GCN version. But anyway, SA2 is my favorite Sonic game of all time. It takes the formula of the first Sonic Adventure and makes it actually fun and not so sucky.

Super Smash Bros Melee (GameCube)

super_smash_bros_melee_box_art

This game was huge! 13 new characters, tons more stages, lots of other stuff to do in single player. The first game was basically a demo to test the waters. This was the real deal.

Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

Super_Mario_Bros._3_coverart

Damn…this game is good. Not only does it blow away SMB2, but almost every other game on the console. More power-ups, huge world, exponentially better and smoother gameplay. It’s baffling how good this game is.

Banjo-Tooie (N64)

banjo-tooie

The first Banjo-Kazooie suffers from a lot of the problems that plagued the N64/PS era…namely the controls and camera and everything else that developers couldn’t figure out when 3D games first came around. Tooie solves most of those issues and thusly, is a pretty stand-up game.

Mario Kart 64 (N64)

mario-kart-64-usa-nintendo-64_1513105811

Despite being crushed by Double Dash, MK64 is far, far better than the original Mario Kart. Mainly because the 3D planes suits a racing game much more. The controls are much better too.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch)

super-smash-bros-ultimate-switch-cover

Ultimate lives up to it’s name. An enormous roster, even more stages, and both which are currently still growing, and an actual fun single player campaign, and some other single player stuff that doesn’t really require you to play it through with each and every character. This game has given me just about everything I wanted out of the series and more! Not only does it blow away the Wii U version, but every game in the series.

Dungeon Siege II (PC)

Dungeonseige2

The first game sucks, really really badly. This game does not. It’s quite good, and happens to be the best in the series.

Red Faction: Armageddon (PC)

rf arma

RF: Guerilla isn’t so great. Armageddon happens to be one of the best FPS’ out there.

StarCraft II (PC)

StarCraft II

The StarCraft II games blow away the first couple games. A decade in between them ought to do that.

Tomb Raider (2013) [PS4]

TombRaider2013

This game, a reboot of the series, completely destroys not only it’s predecessor, but every game in the large series up to the point of it’s release.

WarCraft II: Tides of Darkness (PC)

warcraft 2

This brings some much needed improvements over the first game, and is ridiculously larger and more intense as well.

Final Fantasy VII (PS)

ff7

When FF came to PlayStation, it was the greatest thing for the series. Better story-telling thanks to cutscenes and the capability of a much larger world and expanded and flashier gameplay make this series what it was always trying to be. VII successfully obliterates FFVI.

Rayman 2: The Great Escape (PS)

rayman-2-the-great-escape-playstation-front-cover

The original Rayman is ridiculously hard and frustrating, and really not that good to begin with. The sequel switches from a 2D to 3D platformer and quite frankly is really, really good.

Mega Man 7 (SNES)

Mega_Man_7_Coverart

The jump to a new console meant great things for this series. This was a much bigger game than not only six, but all the others as well, thanks to a lot more collectibles, abilities and story elements.

Super Metroid (SNES)

Super_Metroid_box

This is far superior to the quite good Game Boy prequel. Like…damn.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past (SNES)

link-to-the-past

After the delightful and experimental Zelda II, this game returns to it’s roots, but in a much bigger and better way.

Medal of Honor Heroes 2 (Wii)

MoHH2BoxArt

The first game was some little, albeit decent PSP game made primarily for online play. MOHH2 is more what you would expect from a MOH game, thusly, it’s far better than the prequel.

No More Heroes 2 (Wii)

no more hereos 2 cover

No More Heroes is a fantastic game, but they clearly had a much bigger budget on the sequel, so there is a lot of improvement in gameplay, visuals and story.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)

smash brawl

Just as Melee vastly improved over the original, the same was done for Brawl. This is a much bigger game with tons more content.

Super Mario 3D World (Wii U)

super_Mario_3D_World

Super Mario 3D Land is a neat game that combines the 2D and 3D Mario formulas, and while it’s a great game, I found myself wishing they had just gone with one or the other. 3D World changed my mind. This game is a masterpiece, plain and simple.

Kingdom Hearts II (PS2)

kh2 cover

Kingdom Hearts II, one of the greatest games ever made in my opinion, is the direct sequel to Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories for the GBA, which is the worst game in the series (again, in my opinion). So yeah, KH2 completely devastates CoM in comparison, and is oodles better than KH1 too.

Thanks to Jacobsonbblog for suggesting this game!

That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll add more as I think of them.

 

 

Die Hard Series Ranked

All of my life, I have heard people rave about the Die Hard movies, mainly the first one. Growing up in the 90’s and watching nothing but 80’s and 90’s action movies, I cannot figure out how I never saw any of them. Heck, I never even saw a movie with Bruce Willis in it until The Expendables came out, with the exception of Pulp Fiction, which I dislike, s the actor never really caught my interest.

But one thing I always thought was that the Die Hard’s aren’t as good as every made them out to be.

Well, I am glad to say I was mistaken. The series, and especially that first one, is definitely not overrated, and is up there next to series’ like Rambo as some of the greatest action movies of all time.

So I will rank all five movies from worst to best in my opinion.

#5

A Good Day To Die Hard

2013

a good day to die hard

The fifth and final movie has John McClane team up with his son to kill some folks, and as an action movie, it’s okay. As a Die Hard movie, it’s pretty lousy. It’s as if the producers wanted to make some extra cash and tossed Bruce Willis into a half-assed movie and slapped Die Hard on top of it, knowing the name itself would make them millions.

It’s very short, it lacks the intense action and story of the others, and ultimately is a big let-down. I’d give it a 6/10.

#4

Die Hard With A Vengeance

1995

die hard 3

The third movie changes up the Die Hard formula. It’s the first one that doesn’t take place during Christmas, and it’s missing the entire cast from the first two except John, who gets teamed up, also a first, with Samuel L. Jackson to solve a bunch of life-or-death riddles.

It’s a clever, action-filled movie, but lacks what the first two were. 8/10

#3

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

1990

die hard 2

These next three movies are in a class of their own, beginning with Die Hard 2.

This movie is one of the best action movies out there. Battling terrorists in an airport is as intense and awesome as you could imagine. Truly a great movie. 11/10

#2

Die Hard

1988

die hard

This movie is just barely better than it’s sequel. My jaw hit the floor when watching this. The characters are all intense and likeable, and the action is top notch. One of the greatest movies of all time. 11/10

#1

Live Free Or Die Hard

2007

live free or die hard

This is definitely my favorite of the series. The fourth entry takes all the action, intensity and…John McClanenyness that made the first two so epic and takes it up a notch, using more modern technology for bigger action than was possible in the 80’s and 90’s. They used this technology to simply improve the Die Hard formula, and it worked out very well. 11/10.

Overall, besides the fifth one, this series is remarkable and I will enjoy these movies until the day I die.

 

PS5 Has Big Problems, And Not Just Because Of The Price

Yes. the price of the PS5 is way too high, in my opinion anyway. But that’s not what I want to discuss today. It’s the actual size of the PS5 that has made me decided to pass on this console, unless they make a slim version, which since they never did for the PS4, I am not hopeful.

If you haven’t heard, the PS5 is just under 19 inches long and about a foot wide.

You effing kidding me?

Allow me to put it in perspective.

Here is a picture of a shelf in my entertainment stand.

My shelf is around 21-22 inches, long, just barely able to fit a PS5’s massive 19-inch girth. They are probably 15-16 inches deep to, so basically an entire shelf would have to be dedicated to one console.

This is unacceptable. All my shelves are full or close to it. It is not possible to relocate everything just to fit an unnecessarily giant console. I mean, look at that picture; I’ve got my PS2 sitting on top of my PS4, because I’ve got no room for it elsewhere, and the 4 is already way too big, and the PS5 is nearly twice the length!

Since the PS5 is apparently backwards compatible with 4 games, then I could get rid of my PS4, but it doesn’t appear that I can sit anything else on top of it, so forget that plan!

The Xbox Series X is around 6 inches wide and 11 inches long, and probably uses more or less the exact same hardware, so how did they manage something so much smaller?

Well at least PS5 games are coming out for 4, for a while anyway…here’s to hoping they slim that heifer down some time in the future. I’ll be waiting for a price cut anyhow, so hopefully that’s not the only thing that gets trimmed down.

BattleBorn Is Being Shut Down…Good Riddance!

BattleBorn is 2K’s fun-looking online First-Person-Shooter with a large cast of unique characters with all sorts of crazy weapons and abilities for each. The game can be pretty funny too, which is a nice bonus.

And better yet, there’s a single player campaign! Imagine that! The fun gameplay and single player are what drove me to buy this game when I found it on a good sale. That’s right, I said buy. This was unfortunately before it became free-to-play.

Blizzard’s ridiculously similar Overwatch came out around the same time, and completely overshadowed BattleBorn. Because of this, 2K were not completely happy with the money it made them, or rather didn’t make them, and they are shutting the game down. Everything. Even single player.

Spent money on the game like I did? You’re out of luck. We just tossed a bunch of dollars into a burn barrel. No refunds, no f**ks given by 2K.

I bought this game some two years ago, and just tried to play it like a month ago for the first time, after trying to refund the game without success.

Notice how I said “tried to play it.” And that is what I did…try.

I can’t speak for the online multiplayer, what the game is designed for, but man is the single player a nightmare.

You start off with a prologue. You can only choose one character for this. Okay, that’s fine. I beat the prologue after three tries, because my internet is completely horrendous and kept getting disconnected. The servers are probably awful too though in my internet’s defense.

That’s right, as you might expect, the game can only be played online. So when I restarted the game, I came to find that there are no checkpoints in the levels, so when you get a game over (yes, you have lives in this game) or get disconnected, it’s back to the beginning for you.

Wow.

What makes this even more infuriating is that these aren’t short levels. Oh no, not even close. They are like over 40 minutes long! How can these people think it’s okay to put an unstable, ridiculously long campaign with game overs and no checkpoints? I can’t wrap my head around that…I…can’t…

When I beat the prologue, it’s supposed to save your experience, items, whatever it’s supposed to do, and then unlock level 1.

But do you think it actually does that? Well, I probably wouldn’t be writing this if it did.

No, I beat the prologue four times, each time taking faster, so that it took only about 15-20 minutes to beat it the last two times. And each time, according to the game, I never played it at all.

So I opened a ticket with 2K’s tech support. Like three weeks later they finally fixed the issue, or rather, unlocked level 1 for me.

So I tried this level out, and dear effing God. First off, the difficulty spikes 10fold compared to the prologue.

Second, the level seems to be even longer and has multiple bosses in it. You get a lot of extra lives, but you also lose them very quickly.

There are tons of tiny robots flying all over the place, shooting the hell out of you almost nonstop. And to hit them is very difficult. I’m playing this on PS4, so it’s nearly impossible unless they are standing still. On PC this wouldn’t be an issue.

So 45 minutes and four bosses later, I’m trudging along on my last life. Then an enemy appears out of nowhere (probably because of the crappy internet/server), freezes me in ice, and then shoots a laser beam that takes down my full health bar, and that’s that. Game over, 45 minutes of my life down the crapper, plus the first 20 minutes I played the level, but had to stop playing, so I had to exit the game and start the whole level over again later.

Even when you get a game over, you are supposed to keep everything you gained from the level. But guess what? Once again, the game did not register that I had ever even played it. Meaning that if I were to actually beat the level, I would have to go to tech support again and wait half a month for them to unlock level 2.

NO WONDER YOUR GAME FLOPPED!!!

Clearly, since it doesn’t have many levels, they intended you to play each one multiple times until you got good enough at it that you could 1.) finally beat it, and 2.) do so in a timely manner.

And as for the gameplay itself, it is just Borderlands. Even the humor is straight out of Borderlands. I literally thought that was the game I was playing while in my 45 minute session.

And I think Borderlands is terrible as well. So clearly 2K is not my cup of tea. But BattleBorn is less than a game. I can’t imagine how the game lasted as long as it did.

It was a waste of money to buy this non-functional piece of s*@t. And now they are shutting it down, completely screwing everyone out of the money they’ve spent. That’s like 2K pissing on your face after first kicking you in the balls. But the game is so bad, I don’t even care that it’s being shut down. I just want my money back, both for soon not being able to play it, and for the game being unplayable in ore ways than one.

For the first time in my life, there is a developer I will no longer give my business to.

How Come Every “Update” On Every Platform Takes One Step Forward and Three Steps Back?

Seriously, Apple, Windows, the apps these operating systems run, websites, and now the very website I write this on constantly update everything with the intention of making everything look prettier.

I’ve got to be honest, I don’t really think there are many people who give a crap what the site looks like as long as it functions. This all clearly stems from the greedy, clueless corporate idiots who think they know how to run a business.

Each update for pretty much anything tidies up the look of all this stuff, BUT AT THE COST OF USER-FRIENDLINESS!!!!

Who needs convenient functionality when it looks nice, am I right?

Literally almost every app or OS or website I use regularly has fallen victim to these “modern advances.” Everything I used on these programs and such was easy to use, plainly in view, and required zero thought/effort to do it.

With the big boastful updates these harebrained companies come up with it, they take all that convenience away, hiding it somewhere deep in the new, clean and infinitely more complicated formatting, UI or what have you, or removing it all together.

So instead of taking half a second to do something, I have to search for 15 minutes to find it, if I even find it at all! More often than not, I’m off to Google for research on how to use this “wonderful new update” or in extreme cases, have to contact the support team of whatever I’m trying to use and ask them what the hell happened to it.

When you’re getting support tickets on how to use your own damn product that worked the day before, wouldn’t the company consider that a fail?

And the answer is “No”, for they are still making money, so what do they care?

So now things that were in plain sight and required one click and one second of your time necessitate you to click through seven different menus and this and that to either do what you want to do, or sometimes, this opens up something entirely new, and then you have to locate it from within there.

This is an issue that has frustrated me since I first started regularly using computers about 10 years ago.

I was going to write about something completely different today, until I logged onto wordpress and found they had done the same thing. This is about the third time they’ve made things worse and less user-friendly since I’ve been using the site, but nothing relative to this level.

When writing a post, there was a convenient bar at the top center of the screen that pretty much had everything you ever needed. If memory serves correct, they made this a little less convenient once before. But now it’s gone all together.

There was also a bunch of stuff on the left and right of the screen, also in plain sight for your use, stuff you need to use to edit/post. Again they made this stuff slightly more complicated over the years, but now that’s gone too!

So what am I looking at now? Certainly not a convenient collection of necessary tools! Why would modern, respectable folks want that?

No, now I am looking at a blinding white screen that makes me feel like I am drowning in white-out. The only break from this is a few symbols on the top left and right of the screen. What do these hieroglyphics mean? I don’t have an effing clue! So again, everything I ever wanted to use if now hidden behind the scrawls of Ancient Egyptians. Wonderful.

I just managed to bring up the old tool box somehow, but it placed it right where I was trying to write, and couldn’t get it away for a moment. What’s wrong with having it just sit at the top of the screen like it used to?

Again, I’m going to ask, are there really people out there who were begging the site to do this? People asking for nothing but a blank white screen? People that weren’t directly involved with running the website?

I suppose I’ve ranted enough about this. Now the next thing to do is try and figure out how to post this…

Updating this about a week after the original writing…

I was trying to add images to my latest post. Before, it was a simple click at the top of the screen to get where you needed to go.

Now I’ve got to click one of the hieroglyphics, type something in a search bar, click on the thing I need, which brings up a condensed bar that requires a few more clicks to be able to add images, and then forces you to navigate all these drop down menus just to edit and align the stinking picture! I mean seriously, what a-holes thought this was a good idea?