Kingdom Hearts Series Ranked

In celebration of the extremely long awaited Kingdom Hearts III (it’s hard to believe it’s nearly here) I am going to rank all the games from worst to best in my opinion. I will just be listing the base games, not all the Re:this or that or Final Mix versions and compilation games.

So without further ado, here we go!

#9

Kingdom Hearts Unchained X

2016, Mobile

Times Beaten- N/A

This is a mobile phone game where you collect and upgrade medals of characters from Kingdom Hearts, Disney, and Final Fantasy. You use these medals to perform special attacks. The more powerful you become, the more quests you can take on and the more rewards you will reap. It is a never ending soul sucking game, but I continue to play it everyday…such is my devotion to Kingdom Hearts. For a free to play game, the devs are extremely generous in giving you a lot of stuff, and overall, it’s probably the best mobile game out there.

#8

Kingdom Hearts .2 Birth By Sleep

– A fragmentary passage-

2017, PlayStation 4

Times Beaten- 1

This is a brand new entry included in Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (rolls right off the tongue) that takes place right after Birth By Sleep and uncovers a lot of mysteries leading up to Kingdom Hearts 1. Well some mysteries anyway.

This is actually a fantastic game, which really gives us a taste of what to expect from Kingdom Hearts III. The only reason it is so low on the list is because of how short it is (less than 3 hours).

#7

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

GameBoy Advanced, 2004- PlayStation 2, 2008

Times Beaten- GBA 2, PS2, 2

This, gameplay wise, is not very fun. The game itself is very long, especially with the Riku story. It wouldn’t be so bad if the card system was better, but it is so annoying to have your cards broken all the time, making the game very grindy and monotonous. The story is very interesting however, which makes it all worth it, taking place immediately after the first game.

#6

Kingdom Hearts Re: Coded

DS, 2011

Times Beaten- 1

Taking place right after KH2, this takes us on a very unusual journey with some rather differentish gameplay. I wasn’t all that crazy about this one, and the story did little for the overall arc.

#5

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

DS, 2009

Times Beaten- 2

This is where the games really start to get incredible. This varies the gameplay up a bit, having you run missions for Organization XIII. There’s an awesome multiplayer where you can play as all the members, and the story, which takes place during the later end of 1, all of CoM and leads directly into 2, fills in a whole lot of confusing things that occur during CoM and especially 2. And the game is incredibly fun to boot!

#4

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 2

Taking place after Re:Coded, this one takes us right up into KH3. The gameplay is quite good, the story rather mindblowing, and the dream eaters…meh…Fortunately the game is so stinking fun it’s easy to forget about the constant care of those needy creatures. And for the first time, you switch off between playing as Sora and Riku, which is most welcome.

#3

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

PlayStation Portable, 2010

Times Beaten- 4

I have easily put the most time into this game. Taking place like 10 years before the first game, you play as 3 wannabe keyblade masters and experience how each of them is set on a different path that leads to nowhere good. The story, gameplay, and skill customization is wonderful. This is the reason I bought a PSP and have no regrets.

#2

Kingdom Hearts

PlayStation 2, 2002

Times Beaten- Around 5

I can still remember playing this for the first time after refusing to have any interest in it for over a year. When my brother convinced me to play it, I fell in love immediately. The story gripped me so, the Disney characters were awesome, seeing them kill stuff was even more awesome.

As far as gameplay goes, this has some of the worst in the series, but it still holds up enough. It was the first in the series so it gets a break. It’s still a great game and one I still get excited about playing.

#1

Kingdom Hearts II

PlayStation 2, 2005

Times Beaten- Around 4

This is by far and away the best game in the series. The gameplay is absolutely perfect. There are so many abilities to use that keep it fresh, but even just mashing the X button is highly satisfying. The story is as wonderful as ever, leaving us all dying to see what happens next, until Re: Coded came out that is. This is definitely a masterpiece to go down in history.

And that’s it! I can’t believe we are like 2 weeks away from finally seeing the conclusion to what is my favorite story of all time, and if the gameplay is anything like 2, it will likely be at the top of this list. And let’s face it, the trailers make it look like it’s one of the best games ever made.

If you have never played these games, I highly recommend getting the story so far compilation and prepare to have your mind blown with exceptional gameplay and a crazy, amazing story.

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I Must Contest The Term “Metroidvania”

Metroidvania, for those who don’t know, refers to any video game that resembles the basic formula/ set up of your basic old school Metroid or Castlevania title. More specifically, any non-linear platformer that has an emphasis on item collecting, traversing with the use of a map if needed, exploring, unlocking secrets with your new items to open new paths or find more items…etc. That’s basically the gist of a Metroidvania game.

My issue with this term comes from this…Castlevania basically ripped this formula from Metroid. So wouldn’t it just be considered a Metroid-like game?

Now I haven’t played many of the older Castlevania titles. I played 1-4, and then Symphony of the Night only like a year ago (as far as the older ones go). That is when I realized why people had been saying “Metroidvania” for so long. The game was set up just like Super Metroid, except you use a sword. So the only reason I can see “vania” being tagged on is for games that use close ranged weapons rather than a gun.

I don’t know, it’s really not relevant in the slightest, but hey, I thought I’d just point it out. It’s almost like Castlevania is riding on the coat tails of Metroid’s more successful type of platforming, not that Castlevania needed any help I guess…

The Problem With People Who Cut You Off

You know, aside from them cutting you off, forcing you to slam on your brakes, potentially bursting a brake line or rear ending the idiot because they pull out 25 feet in front of you when you are doing 60 mph.

But if that wasn’t bad enough, it seems like 90% of the time these a-holes then proceed to drive SLOW AS F@^K!!!

It almost never fails. They will sit there and do like 10-20 under the speed limit, and I have a feeling this is because they get ticked that you get a little too close to their car.

Oh…my bad…I just knocked six months off my brake pads to avoid not destroying you and your car. Now make me late to wherever I’m going for narrowly avoiding hitting you and causing you discomfort. I’m such a jerk.

So they are either the world’s biggest morons, or old. Either or, they suck and should be removed from existence.