I Want To Punch The Voice Mail Lady In the Face

You know when you call someone, and they don’t pick up, it sends you to voice mail. Now I am talking about those who don’t use there own custom message. Some people’s phones ring 4 times, some people’s like 12. So you sit through the rings for 2 minutes, finally getting voice mail. Then that bitch lady finally says something along the lines of, “we’re sorry,”

First off, whose “we?” I’m calling one person, they’re not talking to me. This lady voice is. Is there more than one bodiless voice listening in? How does that work?

Anyway, then it slowly spells out the number, again, if the phone owner doesn’t input their name here. Yes thank you bastard lady, I’m glad you told me the number I dialed. Like I’m gonna know if it’s the right number or not. No one remembers numbers anymore. Everything is all electronic or digital. It’s all in our phones already, we just need to press a button to make a call.

Then the lady has to tell us how to leave a message just as slowly. As if no one has ever left a message before. It isn’t exactly rocket science folks! And then sometimes it gives you the choice to leave a call back number.

WHAT THE FLUFF FOR!!?!?!?!?!?!!? It’s 2019! Your number shows up on every person you call, you dumb bitch!

After you sit through all of that, then it tells you, “or press 1 for more options.” What the hell do you need more options for? Has anyone ever actually pressed one for more options? It’s a god damn phone call. How many options do you need?

So 5 minutes later, you finally get to leave a god damned message, and I always sound pissed off on my messages because I am extremely impatient and by the time I hear that tone and can say what I have to say, I am completely irate.

This is how pathetic our race has become. We need complete and detailed instructions with several options available to leave a friggin’ message. And the worst part is, all that talking is in there, because people probably asked for it, or couldn’t figure it out, or something like that.

And what’s worse, depending on the phone, some people leave their own custom message, short or long, and then the lady starts her spiel, minus the spelling out the number, making it even longer sometimes.

Remember 20 years ago, when phones rang like 4-6 times, then “hi it’s so and so, leave a message after the beep,”

Those were the good old days. Of course I am talking about when they merged phone and answering machines and you didn’t have to replace tapes anymore.

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