I Detest/Pity Movie Critics

Movie critics irritate the heck out of me. I’ve only read a handful in my life, not even, maybe like three or four, for I am not one to give a damn what critics think, especially for movies. The only ones I’ve ever read were for movies I loved, but discovered were poorly received, and was curious what people had to say about them.

And I just can’t believe the thought these movie critics put into watching movies. They over-analyze every possible aspect, and then compare it to mountain-sized budget films filled with the best actors on the planet.

In other words, if it’s not a revolutionary idea, with a thought-provoking, philosophical plot with billions upon billions of dollars and won’t even be considered for almost every movie award out there, then the movie is complete trash.

Seriously, reading these reviews are painful. They go on and on about every little detail in the movie, blasting apart every flaw, no matter how minor. They use unnecessary big words and talk in a language that no one else uses to make themselves sound smart and educated, so they’re essentially saying, “I know more than you, so what I am saying is absolutely correct.”

What makes this worse is that these reviews are almost always highly opinionated or biased which makes reading them pointless.

So after a 20 minute read, you finally get to the end of the review, just to find out that they don’t really let you know if the movie is entertaining, which is, you know, the most important aspect of a film.

Well, that’s not entirely true. They come out and say, “The movie was not entertaining because the main actor isn’t going to win any awards, the plot wasn’t great and the script was cringe-worthy with bad jokes, the low budget of the film is obvious, blah, blah blah blah blah.

By the end of the review I just want to punch these people’s nerdy little teeth out.

How can you ever possibly enjoy any movie when you analyze the hell out of it, actively searching for any and everything to complain about. Sure that’s kind of what a movie review is for, but do people really care that much about it? Sadly, the answer to that is yes, and I despise those people as much as the reviewers.

Bottom-line, just watch the movie. It’s not a chemistry project or a complicated math equation. Just take it for what it is with no expectations or comparisons at the ready, and chances are you’ll enjoy it. Just because a movie isn’t the greatest movie of all time or remotely even close to it doesn’t make it a bad movie.

Because of these idiotic reviewers, many great movies go unnoticed or sequels get canceled, because somehow, a ton of people actually do pay attention and listen to these doofs.

And that is why I pity critics and their followers as much as I hate them. They look at movies in the worst way possible and will never truly enjoy a single movie. Their lives may be completely unfulfilling as well if they treat every aspect of their lives like that. I feel bad for their spouses too…

Off topic a bit, critics despise action movies. Don’t ever listen to them about those. According to critics, there should be much less people getting killed and stuff blowing up, and far more plot and character development. STFU you wankers!

If you want to get a decent grasp of a movie, you’re better off looking at what the general consensus of the regular people who aren’t actual critics say. But even then, I find myself not in agreement a lot of times.

It’s all just personal opinion, so reviews are relatively pointless in a way, unless you strive to stay in the majority of the public mind-set, which unfortunately a lot of people do.

If You Can Work From Home Now, Then You Should Work From Home Always

One thing coronavirus has shown us is that a crap ton of people can work from home. As a result, traffic has been cut way down, thus lightening the daily stress and push towards insanity for those who are not so fortunate.

More and more people are returning to work nowadays (at least where I live), and for the the past 5 months or so, traffic has been getting steadily worse every day.

So if it’s possible to do your job from home in it’s full capacity, then why in the heck is that not always the case?

Cut down on the road traffic, and more importantly, the amount of pollution from car exhaust and all that.

Less cars on the road means less accidents.

But let’s face it, the government would never allow this to happen, because with less accidents, insurance companies, car dealers, and repair shops would take a large hit. Not to mention all the fuel sales the government would miss out on.

Plus corporations that employ these people would never allow that, because they always make pointless unnecessary decisions to over-complicate virtually everything, but that’s a whole other issue.

Whatever the reason, whether government greed, or corporate dumbassery, we absolutely have the technology for many, many people to work from home all year round.

24 Hours- New Balance Needed Throughout the Day

This is not confirmed or anything (by me anyway), but I’ve got a feeling some bs system of government created the 24 hours in a day routine. I think the idea behind it was to create a balanced quality of life while also putting a good amount of time into working, thus being useful to society and the economy.

For these reasons, the phrase 24 hours a day came into existence. I believe it was originally intended to separate the major aspects of our lives into thirds. 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work, and 8 hours of personal time.

The trouble is, that system doesn’t work- at all! And it’s all because we have allowed the government to so fully take over our lives, that all we do is dedicate our time to work, or else spending money. We are so desperate for this money to spend, that we don’t even seem to mind this less than stellar way of living. We have one life to live, and probably 45% of it is spent working, 40% sleeping, and 15% doing what we want. What a great way to live…

So going back to the 8/8/8 hour separation. We have 8 hours of work, right? Wrong! Each day you wake up early to get ready for work. This amount of time is very different for each individual, but for argument’s sake, let’s say this takes an hour. Shower, make-up, clothing, all the works. Are you working here? No, but it’s all in preparation for work.

Next, most people have to drive or otherwise transport themselves to work. Again, this takes each person a varying amount of time, but the average may be something like an hour commute. Some people have significantly smaller, and some larger of course. Commuting happens twice a day, so before we even put actual work into the mix, 3 hours of our 8 designated for “free time” is used up, just to get to and from our job.

Okay, so now we finally get to work. That’s 8 hours. Except it’s not. Most jobs have an 8 and a half hour day, because God forbid companies actually pay us for the usually mandated half-half hour lunch. So that’s 30 minutes of your free time used up in the middle of the work day, 30 minutes in a place you don’t want to be, doing what you don’t want to do. Superb!

So after your shift ends, you take the long commute home, unless of course you have to work overtime. I feel like many people work plenty of overtime. Depending on the job, shift, work-load, whatever… most people probably wind up working about 10 hours a day at their job, whether by choice or requirement, mainly because companies do not give a damn about quality of life, or because they pay so low that folks are completely desperate for a bit of extra cash just to get by.

So by the time you get home, there’s already over half the day gone, 13 hours roughly.

So our 8 hours of free time have now been cut down to 3 hours. And what do you do in those three hours? You might relax, you might collapse on the couch, exhausted from a hard days work, too spent to actually enjoy yourself. But you’ve got to cook dinner, go shopping, clean the house, pick up or drop off the kids somewhere…basically you spend it caring for your home or others. Before you know it the moon is shining, your eyes are drooping, and that soft bed is calling your name.

But you’ve still got stuff to do, or you actually want to enjoy your life somewhat, so you stay up later than you should, thus dipping into your 8 hours of sleep.

When you finally concede to sleep for those short 5-7 hours, it is restless and interrupted, because you’re too stressed out about going to work the next day, or paying the bills, or finishing up some house project or worrying about the kids or something. Your mind is doing anything but sleeping.

Then you wake up groggily, a big reason why you give yourself an hour to go to work, and it takes a while for the engine to warm up, and the cycle starts all over again.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could work 4 days, and have three off?

Nope. Can’t do that. Cuz then we would all starve.

We have one life to live, and it f-ing sucks.

Science Fairs…Are They Real, Or A Hollywood Invention??

Seriously, so many TV shows and movies have science fairs. But I am wondering…do science fairs even exist? I’ve never been to one. Heck I’ve never even heard of one happening…anywhere.

And in the film adaptations of science fairs, it’s usually like middle school or elementary school kids participating, and they bust out these ridiculous inventions that you’d likely only find in a senior year engineering course from a college.

science fair volcanoAnd why…WHY can’t these writers come up with something more original than the stupid volcano. It’s the most cliche science fair project ever, and is nearly depicted in every science fair that I’ve seen, (the fictional ones, as I’ve said, I’ve never seen a real one). And somehow they always fascinate people, despite there being on the tables next to it a new energy source and a microwave that can create any food you imagine on the spot from virtually nothing.

 

So I really am curious. Has anyone actually been to a science fair, participant or viewer, or at the very least heard of one? Please let me know!

Paper Mario Series Ranked

In honor of the recent release of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Nintendo Switch, I am going to take the entire series, well, all the ones I’ve played anyway, and rank them from worst to best.

I don’t like saying worst to best, because I think every single one of these games is a grand slam. It’s easily one of my favorite series, out there, (it actually came in fourth in my top 10 video game series).

Aside from them being all great, diverse, unique, creative, and charming, it’s the story-telling and humor that really gets me. I can’t explain it, but there’s a certain feeling I get when playing these games that basically says, “yeah, I’m playing Paper Mario, and I’m ecstatic.”

This series doesn’t have a lot of games, which makes it all the more special.

So here we go!

#5

Super Paper Mario

Wii, 2007

Times Beaten-1

The first to stray from the original formula, this takes the classic Mario platforming and combines it with RPG elements and showers the bizarre Paper Mario creativity all over it. Despite being last on the list, it’s still a wonderful game.

#4

Paper Mario: Sticker Star

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 1

 

This one returns to turn-based combat, but requires you to have stickers to attack. You have a sticker book to hold all your stickers, but it has limited space. Weak attacks are small, and stronger ones are huge, so you’ve got to balance them out and use what’s necessary during battles. This adds a fun strategical element to the game. The game also takes the whole paper theme to a new level.

The game uses a world map like in Super Mario World, dividing the game into stages for the first time. It also involves a lot of back-tracking and puzzle solving, which is impossible to figure out. I needed to use a guide the whole game, because it was so confusing.

#3

Paper Mario: Color Splash

Wii U, 2016

Times Beaten- 1

This one is more like Sticker Star, but instead of stickers you use cards to attack, and have to paint them during battle to make them more powerful. You can play three cards at once, and it is rather fun to set up attack trains to fit the situation. The only trouble is, killing enemies grants you items that when enough are gathered, your paint supply grows. Eventually, when it’s big enough to suit your needs, there is no point in fighting enemies. That’s right, there is no experience and level-ups in this game.

#2

Paper Mario

Nintendo 64, 2001

Times Beaten- 2

The one that started it all, and still one of the most bizarre and brilliant ideas of all time. This is a classic JRPG, but with massively unique elements, though it does borrow from Super Mario RPG. Awesome characters, a variety of partners to help you fight, silly story, it’s all awesome.

#1

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

GameCube, 2004

Times Beaten- 2, maybe 3??

The gameplay in this one is just like the first one. Every area in this level is fantastic and imaginative, and is one of the few games I’ve ever played that I got sad when I beat it. This may be my favorite game of all time, as a matter of fact. Or at least second-favorite.

All these games are hilarious, have fun worlds to explore, characters with quirky personalities, addicting gameplay, and a whole lot of frickin’ awesome.

The world is very divided on this series. Many people complain that they changed the formula and wish the series returned to the the style of the first two.

There’s no denying (in my book) the first two are by far the greatest, but that is no reason to hate on the others, for they are all solid, unbelievably fun and witty games.

Would I like to see a return to the originals? Absolutely, but I am also excited for new ideas, and am anxious to see what other creative, unique, WTF things they can come up with. Which is why I can not wait to play Origami King!