Spider Man Trilogy VS The Amazing Spider Man Would Be Trilogy

I’m just going to go out and say it. Sam Raimi’s trilogy is certainly far better than the two Amazing Spider Man movies. It would seem that most of the world is in agreement with that as well.

But what makes it all that much better? Well, I am just going to talk about 2 things that really bug me.

But before I get to that, let’s take a look at the main character. I find this to be interesting, for I feel Toby McGuire played a better Peter Parker, while Andrew Garfield was the better costumed hero.

Both did good jobs at their alter-egos, but Garfield really nailed the humor and sarcasm Spider Man is known for, while McGuire’s seemed to lack that severely, while Garfield’s Peter was far to “hip” and not at all nerdy. You didn’t feel bad for him. When he became Spider Man, it was like, oh okay.

But when McGuire becomes Spider Man, you are so happy that something good happened to him, because for the 10 minutes of the movie he does not have powers, he is being crapped on by everyone he meets.pparker3

So we’ll put them at a tie for main character. So what about their love interests? Both Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) and Mary Jane, (Kirsten Dunst) do great jobs at being those characters and giving them their own personalities.

This was what I immediately hated about The Amazing Spider Man. Gwen and Peter are classmates that seem to barely know each other beyond “that kid in my class,” but they have like two conversations and instantly fall head over heels, deeply, madly in love. Yes, it’s implied Peter has had a crush on her already, but their coupling happens so instantaneously that it is very unbelievable that it put me off from their relationship. The lack of character development for both of them also puts a disinterest in their personal love affairs too. I don’t know, just going from less than acquaintances to destined lovers in minutes is just a bit farfetched.

In Sam Raimi’s trilogy, it becomes immediately clear that Peter has wanted Mary Jane, his next door neighbor, for his entire life, and she has hardly spared a glance for him. She was the exact opposite of him. He knew he didn’t have a shot at her at all. When he gets his powers, he becomes a little more confident, but still fails to make a move.

So instead, Pete’s best friend dates her instead. Eventually she falls for Spider Man, which gives Peter the confidence to move forward as himself. When he finally can have her, he shuts her down to protect her. The second movie is a roller coaster of emotion. he basically gives up his whole life to be Spider Man, truly a noble act, but when he can bear it no longer, he gives it up, only to have Mary Jane say no. He returns as Spider Man when Mary Jane realizes she made a mistake and tells him she wants to be with him.

Again, Peter stays away to protect her. This is so powerful because both at this point know that they love each other so deeply, and neither of them truly understands why they won’t allow themselves to be with the other. They are constantly struggling with themselves, so by the time they end up together, in the last scene of the movie, you are about as happy as they are.

So in otherwords, McGuire and Mary Jane take two full movies to finally come together, while Garfield and Gwen take two scenes.

My final reason for today why Sam Raimi’s is so much better is the whole way Uncle Ben died.

uncle-ben-has-died-so-many-times.png

In Amazing, Ben and Peter have a huge fight, one worse I think than in Raimi’s movies, peter fightso that’s a plus. But the circumstances leading up to Ben’s murder are pretty lame and would not impose as much guilt on Garfield, thus the viewer does not feel as much sorrow or whatever for Peter either, or really, the entire situation.

Allow me to explain what I mean. In both movies, Peter has a run in with the criminal who kills Uncle Ben moments before he does that heinous act. Peter has a chance to stop them, and doesn’t, thus Peter always believes it is his fault.

So in Amazing, Peter goes to a store to buy a little thing of milk for himself. He is short two cents and tries to take it from that “leave a penny, take a penny thing.” The clerk is a real d-bag and gives him a hard time, saying he can’t just take money without leaving any in return or something. It doesn’t really make sense. But the clerk says it’s “store policy,” and an angered Peter leaves the milk behind and shuffles off, just as the criminal enters the store. He robs the register and even gives the milk to Peter, thus technically making him a shoplifter. When the robber takes off, the clerk yells to Peter to go and catch him. The clerk gets mad when he doesn’t and Peter says it’s not his policy.

This is what ticks me off. Why is the clerk so mad and expectant of Peter? He doesn’t know he has powers. Why would anyone expect some random person to go chase down a criminal. The only person who is aware that he could easily stop the criminal is Peter himself. And because he didn’t have enough money to buy the milk, he took it out on the store clerk.

So the criminal gets away and shoots Uncle Ben. The only satisfying thing about this is the childish reason Peter let the criminal get away. That could weigh heavy on someone’s mind for sure. But yeah…pretty lame.

uncle ben deadIn Raimi’s film, Peter wins a wrestling match to win $3000 but gets scammed and winds up only getting like $200 for basically being too strong. He’s trying to win the money to buy a car, but the man tells him he fails to see the part where that’s his problem. So he gets screwed and leaves all ticked, just as the criminal goes and robs the cash that Peter rightfully won and then some. Pete lets him pass to get away and the man says that you could have killed that guy. Peter says it’s not his problem. This is much better because Peter just proved that he was able to easily crush anyone in his path and the man knew it. He wasn’t just getting ticked at a random customer. Peter could have also easily stopped him without revealing his powers since he was face to face with the man. Garfield was in the middle of a street that would have attracted far too much attention.

In short, Garfield is mad because he didn’t have enough money, and McGuire was mad because he was screwed out of 3 grand. So yeah. Raimi’s is a lot better in that respect.

There are many other reasons why the older ones are better, but I could be here all day talking about it. The original trilogy is even more impressive because they were made before there were countless super hero movies. They were essentially a guinea pig and they were better than anyone expected. Even now, when the first movie is nearly 20 years old (wow!) they still hold up today.

spider-man-movies-netflix-770x481

 

And for the record, I do enjoy all of them, just some were very disappointing.  From worst to best I would rank them

The Amazing Spider Man 2

The Amazing Spider Man

Spider Man 3

Spider Man

Spider Man 2

 

 

Dragon Ball Xenoverse: One of the Most Overrated Games Ever

There are always a few games a year that everyone absolutely raves about, swearing they are the best games ever made and all that.

I never pay attention to reviews or fan feedback, because a lot of it is nitpicking or unworthy praise or something, so it is very rare that I will buy a game based off of just global praise alone. I like to be the judge of a game, simply by seeing if it looks fun. On those rare occasions when I do buy a game (on sale, of course) that the world united on praising, I have found that 99% of these games are quite mediocre, which makes me feel that I am looking for something much more different than the regular gaming community. But don’t get me wrong, some games can be overrated and still be amazing, The Last of Us, for example. I would give this game a 10/10, but for years I heard it was easily the best game ever made, which to me, it is far, far from that.

nappa getting punched

So where does Dragon Ball Xenoverse fit in to all this; as a great, yet overrated game, or a pile of mediocrity? For starters, know that I did not buy this game because the world was calling it “the best Dragon Ball game ever made!” I bought it because I absolutely love the Dragon Ball franchise and this was a new and exciting twist for the game.

And after playing it, here is my conclusion…

It is one of the worst Dragon Ball games I have ever played. It is not the worst, but probably in the top 5 worst ones. Like, I can’t see why anyone even likes this game. It is so boring and seems to go on forever. I was miserable practically the entire time I played it.

So why do I hate it so much? Where do I begin?

For starters, when I bought it, I got the game and season pass on sale for $20 on the PlayStation Store. So when I went to access the DLC, it wouldn’t work, or rather, it didn’t show up, claiming I never bought it. After literally 45 minutes of research on the internet, I found that the DLC was a major glitch, and then I had to look up how to install it, which involved a whole lot of messing around with settings and such on my PS4 and then re-downloading it.  I am not very tech savvy, so I would never have figured that out on my own, and I am willing to bet 95% of everyone else would not have either. So that’s a huge strike for me right there. But since it has nothing to do with the gameplay itself, then it’s sort of forgivable.

That is until we get to the actual game. For starters, it takes like 30 seconds to connect to the server to be able to even play the game. This is really great, since I only want to play single player.

connecting to server
Get used to looking at this…

You start out in some hub town place, which is far too big and your characters walk too slow. All the places you would want to visit regularly are all spaced out as far as possible from each other, so that it takes like 3 minutes of walking just to reach a destination. You are a super powered being! Why can’t you just have the option of quickly flying around!?

hub area
Ugh…Why can’t I fly?

When you finally are able to start a mission, it brings you to the character select screen. Aside from having a very tiny selection of characters compared to previous Dragon Ball games, I have another annoying observation. There needs to be a confirm button after selecting your characters! Typically, you get to pick your character and then 2 others to fight along side you. But so many times I end up choosing the wrong character and then it goes into the match immediately. There should be a “Use These Characters?” box that allows you to pick yes or no. And I usually end up picking the wrong character because the selection thing moves so stinking slow that I always end up pressing the select button before the right character is lit up.

Now that we finally get in the game with the right characters, it turns out to not be worth the trouble at all.

The gameplay is so boring. All you do is throw punches, which send your opponents flying, then you have to chase after them, and repeat over and over again, until you discover a combo that doesn’t send them flying away. So you just do this combo over and over until your energy is charged up, then unleash your special attack to do a decent bit of damage. This is okay in the early parts of the game, but eventually the opponents have so much health that it becomes a very dull chore. I’d rather dust every house on my street then sit through this game again!

dbx gp

But the fights aren’t that easy! So there’s a lot of frustration mixed up in that dull wearing down of health!

For starters, let’s talk about blocking. It’s atrocious. Your character has to come to a complete stop for like 2 whole seconds before you can block. That might not seem like much, but when you’re in a high speed match against 2 or 3 opponents, it’s a friggin’ eternity. But the computer players, they can block whenever they desire. It’s so lovely to watch them do things you can’t.

And speaking of doing things you can’t, some enemies just use their ultimate attacks like 5 times in a row, over and over again. SS Trunks and SS Vegeta seem to do this the most often, though I’ve since learned that this is a special Saiyan ability or something, that for a limited time they can spam the hell out of attacks that will kill you if hit by two of them. Saiyan ability or not, this should not be in the game. That gives them an enormous advantage and messes up the balance of the game.

Another thing the computers seem quite adept at doing is hitting you with beam attacks. Unless you add the beam attack in the middle of a combo, you will most likely miss 8 out of 10 attempts. But the computers will hit 7 out of 10 and this is because they can somehow change direction mid attack. They can bullseye you with a Kamehameha Wave like it’s their business, because they change direction right as they fire it. But as the player, that is the worst, most useless attack in the game, for you will always miss. And no, you can’t change any direction while shooting it.

Dragon-Ball-Xenoverse-07

And on top of that, they do not flinch when you punch them while they are charging up to do an energy attack, but one punch of a small ki blast will knock you out if you are doing the same.

And speaking of ki blasts, you have the ability to shoot many quick ki blasts at a time, and oh my God, this is the most annoying thing in the world! You can shoot these all day at the computers, and if they hit them, which seems to be a 50/50 chance, it won’t have much effect usually, but man if you get hit, they will stop you dead in your tracks. And the computers use this constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY!!! It would be easier to push through a speeding train in real life than get through these ki blasts.

And you know what else they use constantly? There are abilities that, if you have enough energy, will blow away all nearby opponents in one way or another. So if you manage to make it past the barrage of ki blasts, it’s only so you can then get blown away by these special attacks. And then you start all over with the ki blasts. So annoying. They overuse this ability like crazy!

But chances are you will never even get to this point, because you will never be facing your opponent. You can lock on to someone, and you would think that they would automatically direct their punches at that person. Nope. You always have to manually turn your character to face your opponent, which is really awkward, especially when you are getting attacked by multiple enemies and can’t see anything. It’s annoying and stupid. Countless times I found myself punching at air because my opponent was behind me.

This is the last complaint, though I probably have more that I can’t think of right now, and it is simply that the difficulty increases way too fast. The first few missions are simple. You could win with your eyes closed, but then all of a sudden, it’s like you are playing against pros, and you haven’t even fully learned the controls yet. And it just gets harder and harder from there.

Bottom line, the game is boring and frustrating and is definitely not the best DB game ever made! It is not even a good game! I’ll stick with the Budakai and Tenkaichi trilogies. They are much, much, much better.

It warms my soul however, to hear that nobody really likes the sequel, for it is EXACTLY THE SAME GAME! What A-hole developers! God dang it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNES Classic Is A Disappointment/Predictions for N64 Classic

This is just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong. The idea is wonderful. A miniature retro console packed with the best games to be released on it, all in HD and for an affordable price? It is amazing!

But it really is only amazing for people who missed out on these consoles. People who already owned the NES and SNES aren’t really missing out on much. And many of you may think, “and that is exactly who it is marketed towards, people who missed it…” You are right, but I have a feeling it is even more so towards those who have nostalgic feelings towards the consoles, who want to relive their youths. And to that I say  to Nintendo-Stop profiting off our childhoods!! We already gave you enough!!

Nonetheless…If they weren’t so rare, they would be something great that I would probably pick up whenever the price fell.

But everybody knows the NES Classic sold out immediately and if you want one, your likely going to pay 10 times the price.

But anyway, that is not what I want to talk about.

nes-classic-edition-box.png

First off, let me talk about my feelings for the NES Classic. When they first announced it, I was really excited. I had to have one.

And then I realized something within a few seconds. 30 games for the NES! Oh wait, I probably already have most of them, and I really don’t like most games on NES anyways.

Turns out, this was accurate. They put every game worth having on NES on it, but I, and everyone else who has owned an NES or virtual console probably already has them. I owned all the games except 6 or 7 of them already, and some of them I had multiples of through various systems and re-releases and the like. The handful I was missing, I had no interest in ever playing, so I immediately stopped wanting one, and thank God for that, since they are impossible to get a hold of.

But what I am really trying to say here, is that, $60 for 30 quality games is amazing. The limited supply for a limited time approach…why? That’s a dumb move.

But I, like most people, were already wondering if they were going to make an SNES Classic, one of my favorite consoles of all time. I was even more excited when they confirmed it compared to the NES Classic, but again, immediately realized I already have everything on the system worth having…for the most part.

And now we come to the part where I describe why the SNES Classic is so disappointing.

IT IS 20 DOLLARS MORE EXPENSIVE AND HAS 9 GAMES LESS!

Like… what the hell? You can’t tell me that porting all these games onto this little system cost so much more. They are still 25 year old games and not really worth all that. Though, really, again, the price is still pretty fair. But not compared to it’s predecessor. They are not that much more advanced that they need cost so much more.

And price figures aside, why couldn’t they just make it an even 30 games? There are so many worthy titles on that system. What the heck? I bet you they are going to make some bull crap DLC to fill in the 9 missing spots for another $20.

Super_Metroid_Mother_Brain_tank.png

But anyway, if you don’t know, here are the 21 games.

  1. Contra III: The Alien Wars
  2. Donkey Kong Country
  3. EarthBound
  4. Final Fantasy III
  5. F-Zero
  6. Kirby Super Star
  7. Kirby’s Dream Course
  8. The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Pastcastlevania4-spot2.png
  9. Mega Man X
  10. Secret Of Mana
  11. Star Fox
  12. Star Fox 2
  13. Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
  14. Super Castlevania IV
  15. Super Ghouls n’ Ghosts
  16. Super Mario Kart
  17. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
  18. Super Mario World
  19. Super Metroid
  20. Super Punch-Out
  21. Yoshi’s Island

So there’s the line up, and it is an impressive one without a doubt. But some of these are ridiculous choices over some others, though I can see why they would want to vary up the selection a bit.

And again, I have all but 4, but I already have Street Fighter II in 2 or 3 other forms, used to own Secret of Mana, and Star Fox 2 has never been released. So really, Contra is the only one I missed and have no interest in playing.

So again, this is a wonderful, wonderful idea for any younger people who may have missed out on this glorious age of gaming.

But here’s what the other 9 should be, to really embrace the system. For starters, Super Mario World should be replaced with Super Mario All Stars + Super Mario World.

22. Chrono Triggerchrono triiger

23. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest

24. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble

25. Illusion Of Gaia

26. Mega Man X2

27. Mega Man X3mm7

28. Mega Man 7

29. Final Fantasy II

30. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time

There you go! A nice even 30! Though who knows? Licensing and copyrights and all that could prevent a lot of this, and they probably didn’t want to put entire series like Mega Man and Donkey Kong on it.

But this leads me to my next question. Do these mini consoles spell the end for Virtual Console? I feel like this is directly competing with it. Switch does not have it yet, so does this mean it is no longer? Is is just going to be that subscription they talked about where you can stream games? I hope not, personally.

But anyway, yeah, not happy with the decisions behind the SNES Classic overall. And there is evidence now of an N64 Classic coming next year. Those are much bigger games, so I expect that it will cost $100 for 15 games.

I’ll even predict them for you.

  1. Diddy Kong RacingF-Zero_X_(USA)-1
  2. Donkey Kong 64
  3. F-Zero X
  4. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
  5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  6. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  7. Mario Kart 64
  8. Mario Party 2
  9. Mario Tennis
  10. Paper MarioPokemon_Stadium_(Europe)-3
  11. Pokemon Stadium
  12. Star Fox 64
  13. Super Mario 64
  14. Super Smash Bros
  15. Wave Race 64

If that is accurate, I have all but 4 again, and used to own one of those four…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Final

We have the two finalists battling it out here! See how they made it this far with the links posted here.

I’ve already explained to death how impossibly hot they are, so let’s just see some pics.

 

 

Megan Fox

VS

Sara Jean Underwood

Let’s have a little fashion show. Let’s see what these beauties look like in lingerie!!

 

 

 

 

Wow, those are some hot ladies!

What about bikinis…those are always hot, right?

 

 

 

 

Meowsa!!!

What about costumes?

 

 

Those are painted on! Makes you wish she played Wonder Woman in the recent film. She seems not to be a big fan of dress up unfortunately, because we would all love to see her in some more outfits.

Sara definitely is, even into some cosplay. So she will have a few more pictures.

 

 

There is nothing sexier than a woman who likes to dress up, though dressing down might be more accurate.

And just because, here’s just a few more hot pictures of our finalists.

 

 

 

 

Okay, now the big decision…who is hotter?

This is really, really hard to choose. These are honestly the two hottest women on the planet, and each wants to be number 1.

But I have to give the winning spot to her.

Victor

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood!!!!!!

While both girls are perfect in every way, Sara’s got a more tone body, sexy blond hair, and always looks so diverse in her pictures, which somehow gives her this sweet and sexy personality, which if you are hot and a sweetheart, you’re golden. I suppose the endless amount of photos of her doesn’t hurt either.

Bottom line, she is the hottest person I have ever laid eyes on, or at least through a computer screen. I will never lay real eyes on her… So congratulations Sara on being named hottest woman on the planet!

And like always, I like to rank all the contestants in my own personal opinion, from least hottest to hottest. Though regardless of how well they did in the tournament or in my personal ranking, these 16 women are, as far as I know and/or am concerned, the hottest women on Earth. Ranking them will probably be harder than the one on one matches. Oh boy…

Anyway here they are, from least impossibly hot, to most impossibly hot. The round in parentheses is how far they made it in the tournament.

 

#16

Kristen Stewart (Round 1)

Kristen Stewart Red Dress Side

 

#15

Brooklyn Decker (Round 1)

brooklyn decker rope

#14

Kendall Jenner (Round 1)

kendall_jenner_bikini_topshop_swimwear6.jpg

#13

Elizabeth Hurley (Round 2)

elizabeth hurley topless.jpg

#12

Katie Cassidy (Round 1)

Katie Cassidy sidewalk.jpg

#11

Kim Kardashian (Round 2)

Kim Kardashian White Bikini.jpg

#10

Scarlett Johansson (Round 1)

Scarlett Johanson Jock.jpg

#9

Jessica Alba (Round 2)

jessica_alba_04.jpg

#8

Tara Reid (Round 1)

tara-reid-sexy-boobs-07.jpg

#7

Denise Richards (Round 1)

denise_richards_naked-4.jpg

#6

Ciara Hanna (Round 1)

Ciara Hanna wants you

#5

Angelina Jolie (Round 2)

angelina-jolie-sexy-dress-large-crop.jpg

#4

Joanie Brosas (Semi-finalist)

joanie brosas naked.jpg

#3

Alexandria DeBerry (Semi-finalist)

allie berry tan

#2

Megan Fox (Runner Up)

megan-fox-wallpaper-10

#1

Sara Jean Underwood (Winner)

Sara-Jean-Underwood-768x1024

I almost feel bad ranking them, because again, they are all so very, impossibly hot. All these women should be worshiped.

Well that’s another tournament over. Thanks for checking it out, or rather, checking out the contestants. Till next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 3 (Semi-Finals)

Alright! We narrowed it down to the last four hotties! These gorgeous gals will battle it out to see which two will make it to the finals!

Check out the links here to catch up on all the hottie action in rounds 1 and 2, and then please, enjoy the upcoming hotties!

 

Megan Fox

VS

Joanie Brosas

I’ve already talked about how amazingly beautiful and perfect and sexy Megan Fox is. No matter what she’s wearing, or not wearing, she is just so, so beautiful. She took down Tara Reid and Jessica Alba in this tournament so far. When will her rampage end? Let’s take a look and see if that end is in sight.

 

A woman who looks like this is definitely going to be tough to beat. As I just said, no matter what she’s in, she’s gorgeous.

I mean, in this picture I’m about to show you, she is in hardly anything revealing, and it’s barely more than a picture of her face.

მეგან ფოქსი

It’s such an innocent picture and yet my jaw drops to the floor as if she was standing naked in front of me. She’s beautiful, plain and simple.

And to compete with her is the slender, sexy cosplayer Joanie Brosas, whose taken down Katie Cassidy and Angelina Jolie so far. This girl has an amazing body that easily takes the cake over Megan Fox’s body. And the fact that Megan’s is already completely perfect, that is a mighty impressive thing to say.

And speaking of Megan, I think she is the reason I discovered Joanie, now that I think about it. I was reading an article that was talking about Megan Fox being considered to play Lara Croft for a Tomb Raider reboot movie years ago. There was a picture of this.

Megan Fox Tomb Raider cosplay

It’s a hot photo, for sure, but this picture somehow led me to these…

 

 

And thus I discovered potentially the greatest body of all time. I mean just look at that. It completely blows away what Megan Fox looks like in her outfit. I”m sure you want more evidence to back up the whole “greatest body claim,” so here it is.

 

There are no words to describe her body. Like jeez, it’s (insert description here). Perfect is an understatement.

I mean, look at these pictures.

 

That other girl is no pushover. In other words, she’s hot. But when standing next to Joanie, she almost appears ugly. So I suppose the real question is, does Megan Fox appear ugly next to Joanie?

The answer…No.

Megan is still gorgeous. The hard part is deciding which of these women is actually hotter. We’ve already established Joanie has the better body, so that’s big points.

The woman that will move on is just barely hotter than her competition. There is something just more sexy about her. It’s like she is a goddess or something, but seems so real as well, if that makes any sense. You get lost in her looks, and it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Victor

megan fox wall

Megan Fox

You see? There is just something so real about her? It’s hard to explain, much like her beauty. Whatever she’s got, Joanie is lacking in it.

Next up are quite literally the two hottest blondes on the planet.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Sara has beat out Ciara Hanna and Elizabeth Hurley, two of the finest woman in two different generations. But does the PlayBoy model have what it takes to compete with the gorgeous Alexandria? Maybe these pictures can help shed some light…

 

Good lordie, what a body! There isn’t a flaw on this woman. She is so toned, so hot, so sexy, so perfect.

Next is Allie, who can impressively say she has taken down Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. Her body is literally an hourglass shape and it’s amazing. Here, see for yourselves!

 

 

Everything about her is amazing! EVERYTHING! Just look at her. She is not of this world. She is too perfect. Her butt…wow…her boobs…nice! Her long flowing hair. Her tight, toned body. Those lips, that adorable face. Regardless of how much is covered or revealed on that flawless figure, she can take your breath away.

So which of these two blond beauties is hotter? This is a very tough decision, but I think this one is.

Victor

sara jean underwood purple lingerie 2

Sara Jean Underwood

Megan Fox will join Sara in the finals.

But I have to say this about Joanie and Allie. Those two girls are so hot, so perfect, so beautiful in every way, that they almost seem manufactured, like they are robots or something. Sara and Megan beat them for they feel more real, more relatable, and have distinctive sexy auras about them. It’s easier to wrap your head around those two.

So I guess you could say Joanie and Allie lost for being too hot, which doesn’t make sense in a Tournament of Hotties, but that’s the way it goes.

See you next time for the final round of the Impossibly Hot Women tournament!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 2)

Welcome back to the tournament of impossibly hot women, where we will find in the end who the hottest woman on the planet is!

Catch up by checking out the links here.

And now… on with the next hotties.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Elizabeth Hurley

First up is Sara Jean Underwood, who as far as I know, has contributed mainly just her body to the fine folks of Earth. And really, that is the best gift she could offer. As a PlayBoy model, there is literally no shortage of jaw dropping pictures of this woman. So here, check them out, or rather, check her out.

 

 

 

Oh my goodness gracious. If you didn’t notice, this woman is a flawless beauty. Her toned body, nice ASSets and breast, combined with her blond hair and gorgeous face make her something to be desired…for all eternity. Knowing you live on the same planet as this woman and not getting to be with her, let alone see her, is literally Hell on Earth.

Well we saw the gorgeous youthful blond, but what about the older, yet unwavering beauty of the brunette, Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s check out how she’s doing!

 

 

 

Age has done nothing to slow this woman down, as far as her looks are concerned. She is almost every bit as hot now as she was 20-30 years ago. And for a woman in her 50’s, that makes her about 10x hotter right there. She is a goddess in her own right, and we should all bow to her beauty.

So which of these two women is the hottest? The younger blond, or the more mature brunette. As much as I don’t want to say this, it is this one, no contest.

Victor

sara jean underwood cover

Sara Jean Underwood

But seriously though. Elizabeth Hurley…super freakin’ hot…like… it’s baffling.

 

Next up is another brunette and blond!

 

 

Kim Kardashian

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Starting off with Kim, you might have noticed that she has an amazing body from the picture above, or of the tons of bikini photos of her from Round 1.

There is no shortage of hot photos of her, since she basically makes a living off of being hot. So let’s take a look at some of her work, shall we?

 

No matter what she is wearing, what she is doing, from modeling to walking down the street, this sexy woman looks fabulous. She is always picture ready, as evidenced here. Though anything that shows off that amazing body is always preferred.

To add to her appeal, she loves costumes, which is just sexy as hell.

 

Just smokin’ all the time. God dang.

In contrast to Kim’s dark sexiness is the shining beauty of Allie.

 

 

Unfortunately there aren’t quite as many pictures of her, which is a shame, because she is just gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to wear anything sexy for her to catch your eye. Her long, bright blond hair and innocent, beautiful face could easily do that. But if you do see her scantily clad, that’s all the better, for her body is perfection. She has such amazing curves on top of having a nice butt and boobs and well… having a nice everything.

If Angels are real things, then Allie DeBerry is certainly one of them. She just looks so beautiful, yet so untouchably good, that it would be a sin to lay hands on her divine body. But that is something no one could resist doing I imagine. So maybe she is more the apple in the Garden of Eden than an angel.

So both women here are absolutely stunning, with or without clothing. But who is the hotter one? This is a tough choice, but it will have to go to…

Victor

allie deberry skirt and bra on beach

Alexandria DeBerry

Look at that. She took down Kim and her half sister. That is something not many people can say. Especially when pertaining to straight looks.

 

Well there you have it. The four hottest women on Earth are about to battle it out in the semi finals! Make sure to check it out!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 1)

Welcome to Round 2! Check out Round 1 listed here. We have 8 women left standing to bash their beauty on our willing eyes! But only four will advance…who will it be?

 

 

 

Megan Fox

VS

Jessica Alba

 

Let’s start with the unbelievably hot Megan Fox. She has been around for a while now, and has gotten nothing but hotter I think. She was recently in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and made the character of April O’Neil unbelievably sexy.

april 3

Man, even in a yellow jacket and nothing revealing at all, she is smoking hot. I mean, seriously, she is just scratching her head and makes it seem like the sexiest thing on the planet.

In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, they really are kind to the viewers to give us this display of her.

april 4

This picture is basically every man’s wet dream. In fact, the whole movie feels like it’s her posing and just being super hot. And in case this isn’t your wet dream, then maybe these are…

 

Her posture, her expressions, her body, all fabulous. What’s that? Her body is too covered in these shots? Perhaps you are right. Here ya go!

 

Perfection at it’s finest!!

 

I hope you didn’t spend yourself all on her, because next up is the beautiful Jessica Alba!

I first realized how impossibly hot she is in the movie Fantastic Four, where she is just absolutely glowing. It was after that I finally understood everyone’s obsession over her. That and when you see pictures like this, it’s hard not to be.

 

She’s another one who is gorgeous with her body covered, and drop dead gorgeous with it exposed. The fact that she seems to be a pure sweetheart adds to her hotness too! She has an amazing body, a beautiful face, and just a sexy aura about her.

So the only question is, who is hotter. Despite being presented with two women who shatter the hottie scale, this is a no brainer choice.

While both women are perfect in the looks department, particularly their bodies, this one just seems so much hotter somehow. Everything about her is far sexier, I don’t know why, but it is. And that is why she is the winner.

Victor

Megan Fox Bunk

Megan Fox

 

Don’t go away yet, two more hotties left to go!!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Joanie Brosas

Two long haired brunettes are next. Let’s take a look at the older, yet unfaltering beauty of Angelina Jolie.

The last movie I’ve seen her in was probably Mr. & Mrs. Smith, an awesome movie that is made better with just her mere presence in it. Mainly because she is so fine, and just so naturally over the top sexy.

And her wardrobe is killer in it.

 

This was the movie Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston to eventually marry her. I can’t say I really blame the guy. Acting like you are married to this hottie would only lead most men to strive to make that a reality.

Aside from all her movies, she is impossibly gorgeous just about all the time.

 

Her whole life has been one hot thrill ride for any who has laid eyes on her, and what I can only imagine as one of the greatest rides of all time if you got laid by her. Even her fake sex scenes show off that this woman would be something else in the sack. Well, here’s to dreaming!

And by the way, in the movie Alexander, you’ve never seen anyone look so good in a toga and other ancient articles of clothing.

angelina jolie alexander

Next up is the long haired, tall and slender, jaw dropping hottie cosplayer Joanie Brosas. I know nothing about her except that she is really just amazingly hot.

 

So yeah, her body has not a flaw on it, or a single trace of fat for that matter. She is lacking in the boob department because of this, where Angie is not at all. But she makes up for it everywhere else.

Both of these women are so hot, I don’t know how to choose. To make it more difficult, while Angie played Lara Croft, Joanie cosplayed her.

Let’s see the comparison!!

 

 

Both girls wear Lara’s wardrobe quite nicely, but anyone with eyes would realize that Joanie has an unfair advantage for wearing a barely legal version of it.

So now it is time to decide.

This woman’s body is 110% perfect. Every little inch of her. Each curve. Her beautiful hair and that adorable, gorgeous face. Both women are astonishing, but this one shines through…

Victor

Joanie Brosas Ash Ketchum behind

Joanie Brosas

Well there you have it! Megan Fox and Joanie Brosas will face off in the semi finals!

Check out part 2 to see who will join them!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 4)

Welcome to the final part of Round 1, where the last four ladies will face off! Check out parts 1, 2 and 3 to catch yourself up and to check out some more impossibly hot women.

Now without further ado, we go!

 

Brooklyn Decker

VS

Kim Kardashian

All right, let’s start off with Brooklyn, the inhumanly hot blond. I first discovered her in the movie Just Go With It. For anyone who has seen this movie, they know that she is the star of it. And that is simply because she is so stinkin’ amazingly gorgeous in it. She looks amazing in every scene, and with her humongous boobs and perfect figure, your eyes are drawn to her like the tractor beam from the Death Star. Except you wish you could be pulled inside her and I promise you would never want to escape. Her allure in that movie is increased 10fold because she seems to be in a bikini half of it, which is a gift from the heavens for sure, for this girl’s body is meant to be in a bikini and nothing but, except for nothing…butt…

Just Go With It was her first film, so upon some research, I discovered that I was not the only one who felt that her body belonged in a scanty swimsuit. Assuming these pictures are all before this movie, it turns out she had a career in modeling such beachwear. Sports Illustrated seemed to have a keen interest in her, alongside every male on the planet. She was even a cover girl! Now… prepare to be amazed…

 

So yeah, she is perfect. Her barely containable breasts combined with that flawless, sexy figure is enough to make her the source of every person on Earth’s dreams. Seriously, this woman is the body all bikinis are made for. No one looks as good as her in one.

Next up we have Kim Kardashian, as much as I hate to say it. I hate everything about the Kardashians, except their looks. My God, those five girls are truly attractive people. In fact if this was a bigger line up of women, there would probably be a spot for all 5 of them at some point. But we are here to focus on the most famous sister, Kim.

She’s famous for having a sex tape, which should automatically make you know this woman is hot. But that is not how I discovered her. I found out about her through magazine covers. When I worked in a supermarket, the magazine racks were by the registers, and as I walked by, I would always catch glimpses of the headlines and all the useless crap that I am baffled people care about when it comes to celebrities and all that.

For years and years, the cover was always about Brad Pitt and impossibly hot Angelina Jolie. Dumb crap detailing every uninteresting nook of their lives. But then someone started to break that trend. Some brunette started showing up on a different cover every week, in a different colored bikini, on a different beach.

I had no idea who she was, and I never looked for a name. My eyes were too busy staring at the incredibly hot woman on the cover. It wasn’t for like a year after weekly bikini shots that I learned her name…Kim Kardashian. Back then it sounded sexy. Now that last name makes me cringe.

Anyway, remember when I just said Brooklyn Decker is the body made for bikinis, that no one could look better in one than her?

Well my friends, I think she’s got a rival. She didn’t get on all those covers for nothing.

 

Holy Molie! This beauty has a perfect hourglass figure, huge boobs and a big ol’ butt. Her boobs might be a bit smaller than Brooklyn’s but those small pieces of cloth still struggle to hold those babies in. My goodness, this women too was born to wear a bikini. Seriously, I can’t get over how good she looks…

Both of these women’s careers seem to be based off of looking hot, so the ultimate question is, which is hotter? Which wears the bikini better?

While both are perfect specimens of the human body, this woman is just a tad hotter.

 

Victor

Kim K

Kim Kardashian

Though for the record, Brooklyn looks better in a bikini, but Kim is just all around hotter.

And now we have the last two women to finish off Round 1!

Kendell Jenner

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Dang, what hotties to finish off this round!!

To start, remember when I said that Kim Kardashian and her sisters are all extremely hot? Well, Kendell is hot enough to compete with Kim for a chance to be crowned the most impossibly hot woman of all time!

I don’t really know how I came to know of her. As far as I know, she became famous for being Kim’s sister. But I distinctly remember officially becoming aware of her when I saw this picture…Kendell Jenner Perfect Body selfie

I instantly became infatuated with her. That body is as perfect as they come. For a girl whose entire family makes a living by taking hot pictures of themselves, you couldn’t ask for a better body to do so than this one. Simply put, it is draw dropping. Add that to the fact that she has a gorgeous face, and you’ve got an impossibly hot woman on your hands.

But don’t take my word for it!

 

Her stature and expression hint at a sweet little cutie and at the same time, a sexy, experimental, fearless hottie. And that is big points baby!! While her small breasts don’t give her the bikini body that her sister has, she unmistakably has a better body in general.

The final girl we have to talk about is the amazingly beautiful Allie DeBerry. I discovered her from a show called A.N.T. Farm. She played the dimwitted sidekick of the most beautiful and popular girl in school.

allie deberry ant farm
Allie’s the one of the left

The ironic part about this is that, while they both look great in cheerleader uniforms, Allie is far hotter, what with her tall, slender body, beautiful face and long hair, the other girl could never dream of being as good looking. And I seriously doubt she could compete with Allie wearing these “clothes”.

Oh my God!!! This girl has an hourglass figure like I have never seen before. She has “it” in all the right places, and I just love that super long hair. It goes so well with her tall, sexy body.

allie deberry bikini

I mean, just look at it. She is ridiculously hot. Definitely not of this world. And literally every inch of her has this perfect, toned, muscly hotness to her, as if her skeletal structure is perfect as well, beyond that of anyone else on Earth. Her shoulders, her elbows, her…everything, just seems so different and so hot. Again…not of this Earth. It is like God himself chiseled here out of a fleshy slab to show the world what a woman should look like.

So both girls have perfect bodies, a sexy aura about them, and look totally sweet and sexy. Which is hotter then? Despite how good they both look, this is a no contest bout.

Victor

alexandria-deberry-is-a-former_t31e49c2d

Alexandria DeBerry

I wish Kendell managed to beat her, for it would have been interesting for her to face off with Kim…oh well…

There you have it. The advancing 8 impossibly hot women have been decided! See you in Round 2!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 3)

Okay everybody, let’s jump right to the hotties! But if you need to, check out Round 1 Part 1, and Part 2.

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Ciara Hanna

First off in Round 1 Part 3 are two of the hottest blondes you will likely ever lay eyes on. The hard part today is to decide which is hotter.

Let’s start with Sara. I first laid eyes upon this gorgeous woman when I was looking up something about one of the new Star Wars movies, and by some miracle, I came across this picture.

Sara-Jean-Underwood-Padme-Amidala-Cosplay-1Now it is not every day you find someone who looks hotter than Natalie Portman did in the same costume. I immediately fell in love with this woman. To my great delight, pictures such as these were attached to this one…

My first thought was she was a cosplayer, until I saw the car wash photos. That led me to believe she was a beautiful person who had an outstanding body that she loved to show off, and did so in a charitable way, while also conveniently having a bunch of friends who didn’t mind dressing super scantily and washing cars at the same time either. This provided a great service to their customers, who not only went home with a clean car, but an erection as well! What nice girls!!

Well obviously this must be some kind of fundraiser of sorts with Star Wars somehow involved. Whatever the reason, I decided to look more into this girl that had me so entranced. Was it because of her perfect body, beautiful face and charitable, helpful character, or was it because I love Star Wars just as much as nice, beautiful women? Perhaps putting both together was a match made in a heaven?

Anyway, this is what I found.

Turns out she’s a PlayBoy model. Having never looked at one of those magazines, I must admit, I am curious if they all look as good as her. But I seriously doubt it. This girl has an absolutely superb body, and a face that looks kind, sweet and fun. She looks like the type of girl you could get lost with all night, and then bring home to meet your mother. Until what she does for a living comes up anyway.

Oh and in case you were wondering, she looks amazing as Leia too.

sara-jean-underwood-star-wars-play-boy-photoshoot_1
Eat your hearts out…

 

 

 

Next we have an equally beautiful and precious looking woman, Ciara Hanna, making her second appearance in a Tournament Of Hotties, but this time as herself and not as a character she played. Which is exactly how I came to learn about her. She was the yellow ranger in the Power Rangers: Megaforce series. She was really quite beautiful in the show, but it wasn’t until I was looking up pictures of her for the first Tournament of Hotties that I learned she is one of the most beautiful, sexy, cute, gorgeous, adorable, sweet, amazing…I’m running out of adjectives. Enough jibber jabber, just look at some pictures of her…

Oh man, she just looks like the biggest sweetie and sex muffin! I don’t know if I want to hug her or do something more private. But let’s face it. We’d all pick both. Another girl you would take home to meet the family, but you couldn’t wait to live so you could have your way with her.

Everything about her is so perfect and sexy, yet cute and sweet. But what really gets me is when those sexy lips placed upon that beautiful face curve into a smile.

I love her sexy, wavy hair too…and her eyes…everything…

This might be one of the hardest to choose from in the tournament thus far. It seems a crime that one of these perfect blondes must be eliminated, but I must persevere and choose one.

 

Victor

Sara Jean Underwood Black Bra

Sara Jean Underwood

 

Moving away from blondes, we have two brunettes in the running!

Elizabeth Hurley

VS

Kristen Stewart

 

elizabeth_hurley_07The tall, slender large breasted woman known as Elizabeth Hurley may be one of my earliest crushes. I first saw her in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, where her sexy accent and perfect body charmed the pants off of everyone. The humorous censor scenes, aside from making me laugh, just showed how hot this woman was, not to mention how big her boobs are. Everything from her hair down to her futuristic styled boots is enough to make anyone start drooling. You really couldn’t blame Austin for trying to “shag” her the whole movie. No one else would be able to resist her either.

But it wasn’t until I saw Bedazzled that I considered her one of the most beautiful women on the planet, for she is so impossibly hot. In this movie, she plays the Devil. And this fact alone makes it an interesting movie. If the Devil looked like this…

then I am willing to bet just about everyone would sell their soul to her. The torture would be the “look but don’t touch rule” on this babe for all eternity. As you can tell, Elizabeth is nothing short of perfection. Ugh…just look at that body. Beautiful…so slim and toned…she’s as hot as the fires of hell…I know…I know…I had to say it.

She is getting on in years now, which is a blow to us all, but even still she looks nothing short of fabulous.

Any sane person would jump at the chance to get in on some of that, 20 years ago or now.

 

Next up is Kristen Stewart. I imagine I discovered her the same time everyone else in the world did. I remember it all too clearly. I visited my buddy in college and we were bored one night so we decided to go down to the auditorium where they were having a movie night. It was some movie none of us ever heard of, but we figured we’d watch it anyway. When we walked into the auditorium, I immediately noticed we were the only guys in there, never a good sign.

That’s right, you guessed it. That movie was Twilight. We had never heard of it and never knew it was this huge book/movie business. Anyway, the movie was basically awful. Except for the lead actress, Kristen. She was a hottie. She made most of the movie somewhat enjoyable just because of her looks. But after the movie ended, I forgot all about her until years later when I saw some pictures of her. It may have been these ones in fact.

She had become older and more mature and something about her just blew me away. Yeah, she has a perfect body, no doubt, sexy attitude and hot hair, but that isn’t what really gets me, it’s that face of hers. It is just so entrancing and wonderful.

I just can’t explain it, it just makes my heart melt. Maybe it’s because she dresses most of the time in regular clothing, and looks like a normal person most of the time, not some big shot celebrity. I don’t know. I don’t think I have a “type.” Maybe she’s it?

And speaking of the way she dresses, she looks amazing in everything. No matter what she dons, she is just tipping over the hottie scale.

Wow, she is just a steaming hottie, hot enough to take on the Devil herself. I don’t know what it is, it might be all her vampirey witch craft or whatever, but she definitely has me under some spell.

And she’s bisexual, which is huge points in my book.

So which of these two perfect women is hotter? It’s hard to say. Kristen is more my age, so maybe that’s why I feel some weird cyber connection with her. Elizabeth Hurley is much older, but still competes with Kristen any day. Decisions, decisions. I will have to give it to…

Victor

elizabeth hurley red dress

Elizabeth Hurley

Sara Jean Underwood and Elizabeth Hurley move on to Round 2! Their victories are bitter sweet, for Ciara and Kristen both are such sweet contestants I could totally get along with.

See you next time for the conclusion of Round 1!

Finally, A Great e3!!!

The last 2 or three e3’s have been more or less disappointing. But at long last, this year was different!

Image result for skull and bones game

The first conference I saw was Ubisoft, and they had lots of exciting announcements, most notable the Mario/Rabids crossover known as Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, which looks awesome, and the completely unique game Skull & Bones. Fans of the Assassin’s Creed series will be excited for the new Egypt based game. See it all here.

Related image

Next up was Sony. There conference was great because there was hardly any talking and they just played trailer after trailer, which makes me wish they just made a video like Nintendo to keep the flow going better.

But anyway, they basically showed the same games they showed at last years e3, but with much longer trailers/gameplay. And this was fine with me, for they showcased a lot of great looking games, most notable for me was Days Gone and the PS4 exclusive Spider-Man. I can’t wait to play those two games! Check it all out here.

Image result for metroid prime 4

But the most amazing part about e3 by far was Nintendo’s “Spotlight” video presentation. Anyone who said the Switch doesn’t have a lot of software has now been proven wrong. They announced a whole slew of new titles for both this year and next, guaranteeing two years of great games. Yoshi, Kirby, Metroid, Mario will all be making appearances, to name a few. You can check out everything in detail here.

Image result for xbox one x

They are the only ones I saw in detail, but Microsoft revealed a few new games and the brand spanking new, powerful consoles Xbox One X. You can watch the conference here.

It was a great showcase, and I am very excited to be a gamer right now.