Rambo Series Ranked/Rambo: Last Blood Review

I never thought in my life that a new Rambo movie would come out. The third one released about a year before I was born, so for a very long time, I thought that was it. I remember always thinking, ‘I wish they would make five, so that they could be even with the Rocky series.’

In 2008, the impossible happened. A fourth one came out, along with it, the possibility of another sequel, but eventually it tapered off, Stallone basically saying he was too old for a fifth. And then one day, nearly 11 years after the fourth one came out, my brother informed me that he was indeed making the film, and showed me some set photos.

I was floored. It seems in less than a week, I will get my wish at long last. Five movies to match Rocky, even though thankfully that series has increased in number as well. But I am notĀ  going to wait for a sixth one, for that just isn’t ever going to happen. I am satisfied completely with the fifth one. The trailer alone makes me confident this movie is going to be intense and incredible. I just watched it again, and it gave me chills

So to celebrate this monumental occasion, I will be ranking all the movies from my least favorite to my most favorite.

So away we go!!

 

#4 Rambo

rambo

This movie is incredibly moving and emotional, due to the fact that it very accurately portrays war in third world countries and the cruelty of humanity. Each weapons effects on human bodies is realistic and brutal, which really brings into light how horrible war is and why Rambo tries his best to get away from it.

While I find the movie to be utterly fantastic, it also has a bit of disappointing parts in it. I wasn’t thrilled that Rambo wasn’t doing pretty much everything on his own, despite the fact that I really like all the mercenaries he works with.

I also don’t like that there isn’t any cool stealth kill parts like they have in the first three. That is definitely missed.

The final thing that bugs me is that during the finale scene, Rambo just sits behind a machine gun mounted on a truck the whole time, which is cool, because he shreds up all kinds of stuff, but it is also boring in a way.

 

#3 Rambo III

rambo 3

This movie is a masterpiece. It’s got intense action throughout most of the movie, and even has Colonel Trautman doing a bit of fighting, which is something many people have wanted to see I’m sure. While Rambo does receive a bit of help in this one, it really just focuses on him, and actually the help hinders him at times.

Rambo faces his most vicious and largest enemies yet, fearlessly taking on an entire army that culminates into the best finale in the series. He drives a tank into a helicopter for God’s sake. This move is the epitome of 80’s action.

#2 Rambo: First Blood Part II

Rambo-First-Blood-Part-II-Soundtrack-2CD

If the third one is a masterpiece, thisĀ  is just a little bit more so. The action, the hate, the betrayal, the message… Everything about it is amazing. And when Rambo starts to fall for someone, she dies immediately, as if the movie is punishing itself for daring to be anything other than awesome. The “Murdock, I’m coming to get you,” scene is one of the most badass scenes in history.

#1 First Blood

rambo first blood

This one is just slightly more of a masterpiece than 2 & 3. The whole calm, sad Rambo being pushed to take on a whole town theme is amazing. How he takes down every cop in the woods, incredible. Showing off his survival skills in said woods and in the mine is fun to watch.

I really like that a lot of the movie is just music and not a whole lot of talking goes on. Trautman’s ridiculous warnings to Teasle really hype up Rambo’s deadly skills. Just every second of this film is either tense, action packed, or awesome in some shape or form.

 

As a whole, this series is one of the best out there, despite it’s ridiculously inconsistent titling. I could watch these every day, they simply blow me away like all the stuff Rambo blows up in his life. I am completely confident that the fifth will be able to stand among these four incredible films. I already like it better than the fourth one just from watching the trailers!

Last Blood Review

The movie is pretty darn incredible. I’m just going to go right out and say it. It shows Rambo in a new light, a brighter one, if you will. One where he is actually content with life, which is something we have never seen before. And then by the end of the movie, we have never seen him so angry. For now, he’s not fighting in someone else’s war. This time, it’s just personal…and it’s awesome.

The first 2/3 of the movie is more like a super violent Taken, and then the last third is just everything you love about Rambo to the extreme. The ending is mind blowing. If you like hardcore action, then this will float your boat, I’m sure. If you are someone who doesn’t like unnecessary violence, well then don’t watch this.

The music is great as well. They take all the themes from the other movies and adjust them to the mood of the scenes going on, so that it actually reminded me a lot of the Rocky series, and actually succeeds in enhancing the emotions being felt or the themes being represented in each scene.

Interestingly enough, being as Rambo is a quiet, hardly talking maniac of death and destruction, this is probably one of Stallone’s best performances. The emotion he gives off, the hate, the rage, the hurt…all excellent. You can practically see an aura of rage floating around him like he is a Super Saiyan by the end. Again, this really enhances the viewing.

Some parts of it are a little slow, but that’s because they are plot building, and I was itching to see Rambo go nuts. And he does. Believe me. It’s worth the wait.

They never describe how Rambo is actually related to the girl who refers to him as “Uncle John,” nor how she is related to the other woman who lives with them. This isn’t really a big deal, but the viewer is pretty much left to assume a whole lot about them, but overall, it’s not really important. The movie makes this clear. All you need to know is the young girl, Gabriella, is like a daughter to Rambo. And this Gabriella has the most beautiful, big brown eyes that kind of make your heart melt. This is fortunate, because she does a lot of crying, and those eyes just make it so much sadder, on top of her being adorable and crying is something you never want to see her do.

As for ranking this…I don’t know…I really don’t. It’s definitely better than 4, but I can’t really say where it falls among the first 3. Sometimes it’s my favorite, sometimes I like it less than 3 or equally as 3. I would just consider it a masterpiece like the first 3.

Watching this made me realize how different all 5 films are. Each brings your attention to a different real world problem, and never really holds your hand doing it. They never hold back from the violence that exists in this world, showing you the cruelty of humanity, something Rambo tries to separate from himself and protect others from. This is a constant theme in the entire series, Last Blood being no exception. And with the advancements in technology, the fourth and fifth film are especially effective in showing how destructive people and weapons can be.

So what I have learned is that the Rambo series doesn’t need to be ranked. They are all so entertaining, educate you in a brutal way, and have an interesting, tortured soul he turns into a volcano of fury and then murders everyone in his way as the lead role. And a credit to this film, there is a slight 80’s action movie feel to this film at times, which is a nice throw back to Rambo’s roots.

Bottom line, if you love Rambo, you are going to love this. If you like action movies, you will like this. If you are expecting a movie with a deep twisting plot, involved, fleshed out characters, and a deep sense of meaning that will leave you feeling like a better person…then you clearly have never seen a Rambo movie before. These films have always been about awareness of global issues and intense action entertainment. And this one delivers on that.

 

P.S.

It’s better the second viewing.

 

 

 

Sylvester Stallone- I Thank You For A Lifetime of Entertainment

This guy. This crazy action star. This crazy not action star as well. He is an amazing writer, fairly decent actor, and master of the entertainment biz.

I grew up in the 90’s, and what I watched was the usual Nickelodeon shows, Hercules and Xena, and FRIGGIN AWESOME 80’s ACTION MOVIES!!!!!

Stallone, Schwarzenegger (thank god that’s in spell check, cuz didn’t know how to begin spelling that), Steven Seagal, Mel Gibson, whatever other movies that involved machine guns that never ran out of ammo and enormous explosions. Though oddly, I’ve never seen a single Die Hard movie.

But it was the Stallone movies that were always my favorite. Demolition Man, The Specialist, Tango & Cash, Cobra. It didn’t matter what, I just love them. But above all, I absolutely love the Rambo series. I still consider them some of the best action movies ever made. Seeing the fourth one opening night was the best movie-going experience I have ever been to. The sold out theater was so full of energy, some of the crowd in red bandanas, everyone in love with the same series as myself. We cheered at the awesome parts, shouted quotes from the older movies; it was like going to a convention all about Rambo.

Then, when I thought his career was over, he brings us a truly incredible trilogy. I am of course talking about the Expendables. Again, these are some of the best action movies out there…all three of them. And what’s more, he gave us something every 80’s and 90’s kid always hoped for. A movie with Stallone and Arnold (not trying to spell his last name again) kicking butt side by side. But he didn’t stop there. He brought in all these action stars from over several decades and actually did a great job balancing screen time for them all. Stallone and Jason Statham are the main characters, so they get the most obviously, but there is plenty of other time for everyone else.

Did you ever think you would see Jet Li fight Dolph Lundgren? How about Steve Austin beat the hell out of Stallone? This is a dream come true, and all done in the style of 80’s action with modern cinematics.

But there is one franchise that sits above all Stallone’s feats. You know I am talking about the Rocky movies. The film that made Stallone world renowned. This movie and it’s five sequels are just phenomenal. I actually have a post where I rank them all.

They are my favorite films of all time. And having him in the Creed movies is just as wonderful, again all these years later, he is still giving us the characters we grew up with, that we love. They age as we age, making it easier to connect with them. We get to watch them deal with struggles throughout these characters lives. We grow and learn with them. It’s just a fascinating experience.

And Stallone, on the downhill slope to 80, is doing it to us again. I am of course talking about Rambo 5, or rather Rambo: Last Blood. When my brother told me that he was making this, I went through the roof. Then the trailer came out, and I went through the clouds. Right away, I gasped, “This looks like it was going to be the best one.” The second trailer solidified that feeling.

I of course will reserve judgement until I see the movie, but damn. What a way to go out. Though I assume Stallone will give us more, and maybe even a Rambo 6 when he gets bored in his late 80’s.

It scares me to say that. If you are like me, you worry about when actors you love get old. I have now lived through this with all my favorite action heroes now senior citizens. But I can’t imagine a world without Sylvester Stallone in it. The movies he comes with out with are always my cup of tea. When he dies, it will be like losing a family member. I know that sounds weird, but it’s the truth. I felt the same way when Han Solo died. I was upset over that for like three days! Stallone will take me a lot longer to get over, because we will lose the actor himself, Barney Ross, Rocky Balboa, and John Rambo. All of them, dead. I have never met the actor and it’s pretty safe to say I never will, but all the characters he’s played, I feel like I know so well. It is going to be a devastating time.

But anyway, that’s kind of depressing talk, so for now, I am going to be anxiously waiting for Last Blood to come out on Sep. 20.

But I just want to say thank you Sylvester Stallone. My life would literally not be the same without you in it.

Robin Hood (2018) How Is This Considered A Bad Movie?

The wife and I just watched this movie, which is one I’ve been dying to see ever since I saw a trailer for it last year. But it was only in theaters for a few weeks and we missed it. Turns out, it’s short ride in theaters was because it bombed in the box office. This alone confuses me. If it’s pulled from theaters, how’s it going to ever make money?

Anyway, I bought the bluray, and it turned out to be better than I could have hoped for! They even left it open for a sequel, but because it lost so much money, that got canned, which is super upsetting, because we were extremely excited for one.

But this movie just further imprints upon me how distant my views for all things media are compared to the rest of the larger world.

Movie critics gave this a next to zero score, and regular viewers didn’t give it much more.

I personally would give it a 9.5/10. But then, I’m just looking to be entertained, I don’t expect everything that 90% of the rest of the world is hoping/looking for.

I don’t care about reviews or what other people think…at all. But I’m tired of being shafted out of sequels because of box office numbers and bad critiques and all that. Terrible movies that do great in theaters are good movies and vice versa. Yes, I am aware we live in a business world and making money is truly all that matters, but come on!

Going back to Robin Hood, I just can’t imagine how anyone would watch this and come out saying, “Man, that sucked!” unless you don’t like action movies at all.

Which speaking of, the action is top notch. It has unique/incredibly awesome action scenes, doing some crazy stuff with bows and arrows that is just super fun to watch.

The style of the movie is pretty interesting as well. They made the scenery, costumes, attitudes, weaponry, personalities, and dialogue with the typical stuff you would expect from a time period for Robin Hood, but combined it with a lot of styles and workings from today, resulting in a truly fascinating world.

robin-hood-2018-review-taron-egerton

And on top of that, the characters are all done in the same fashion in a way. You have all the classic Robin Hood characters, tweaked just enough to be both familiar and fresh. And they are a lot of fun to watch, especially since the acting is so good from literally every actor/actress.

The story gets the same treatment. It is actually an origin movie of how he becomes Robin Hood, which to my knowledge is a new one. And in a world filled with origin movies (I’m talking about you, Marvel) this one is by far the best. Yes, it’s not super hero related, but the premise is the same. And most of Marvels origin movies are crap to okay at best. I know they are not really comparable movies on a lot of levels, but as for action movies, Robin Hood blows away most in it’s genre.

So I think Robin Hood is one of the best movies ever made to be honest, and my wife thinks it might be her favorite movie of all time.

So I’m just really curious, what the heck do people look for in movies that this gem would be considered bad?

Side note: Apparently there is a King Arthur movie similar to this that got just as bad reviews. I very much want to check out this movie as well!

 

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls, Finals

At long last, we have reached the finals! Due to an uneven amount of girls, we have three incredibly sexy finalists instead of two. But no one would ever say no to 3 women, am I right? Especially when they look like this. Check out the rest of the tournament listed in these links and now, let’s see who the hottest Bond girl is once and for all!

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honeycap

One of the first Bond girls, all the way back from the first movie has fought and clawed her way to the finals. But let’s face it, she didn’t have to try too hard, seeing as how incredibly gorgeous she is. But don’t take my word for it…here ya go!

 

 

Man she is gorgeous…even when she is older. She has such a beautiful face and sexy body. I can’t help but feel jealous of Bond. As a bonus, she is not shy and shows off her body quite a bit, both in revealing clothing and no clothing if you want to look into that…have at it!

 

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

Jane-Seymour-Solitaire-Live-And-Let-Die-james-bond-37169393-640-431

 

Moving away from blonds, we have the beautiful, innocent, yet unbelievably sexy brunette named after an okay card game. Let’s see how she plays out!

 

 

 

This is another woman who you could bang the heck out of her whole life. She’s so sexy even when she is much older. Her long hair is so beautiful, her body tight, she has an innocent cute side to her and absolute wild side. In short, her whole life, she has been an irresistible woman.

 

 

Dr.Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

The-World-is-not-Enough-1382

 

Back to blond again or uhh dirty blond? This woman is the definition of sexy. The way she talks, moves, frickin’ just stands there. She is just stunning. Look at those big open lips up there…mmm.

 

 

 

Whew, she is gorgeous. But of the three she is the only one whose looks shattered as she got older, in a bad way too. But at least her body is still sexy!

 

Alright, now it’s time for the decision. The winner is easy, but the runner ups are a little tougher, but for third place…

 

Second Runner Up

ursula andress-31

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

This one was really close. Both her and the next girl were literally neck and neck, or should I say boob and boob?

So who is the runner up?

 

 

Runner Up

jane-seymour-as-the-princess-farah-in-sinbad-and-the-eye-of-the-tiger

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

There’s just something about her…

 

And that of course leaves the hottest Bond girl to ever exist!!!

 

Winner

denise richards-hot-39

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

That’s right, the hot and sexy doc is the winner. This becomes evident immediately in the movie the first time you see her. They tease you, thinking she is a nerdy doctor in a hazmat suit or something, and then when Bond first sees her (out of the hazmat suit) it’s BAM! The movie knew they had a hot one, and they showed her off every second they could.

There really was no contest for this beauty. She obliterates every other Bond girl. Though her victory should come as no surprise, for her actress, Denise Richards, was in the Impossibly Hot Woman Tournament, in which 16 of the hottest girls on the planet faced off.

So congrats to Dr. Jones, you earned it!

Normally I rank all the women to how I personally find them at the end of the tournament, but since there is so many of them, I might just make another post doing it…if at all…

 

We shall see!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Semi-Finals

Welcome to the semi-finals. 7 of the dozens of women Bond has made sweet love to have fought and clawed their way here. Due to an uneven amount of girls, 3 will make it to the finals, where they will battle to see who the hottest Bond girl of all time is! Check out the rest of the tournament listed here. Now let’s get to it!

 

Bout #1

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honey ryder 2

 

VS

 

domino wave

Domino (Thunder Ball)

 

Dang. Right away we have two fierce hotties.

Honey Ryder is a smoking hot blond. Let’s take a look. So far we have only seen pictures of her bikini clad self from the movie for the most part. Let’s branch out a bit today.

 

Sexy throughout her whole life. Age means nothing for this beloved beauty.

 

 

A sexy brunette with an adorable smile.

 

Both of these women have absolutely earned the right to make it this far. Both have amazing bodies and incredibly good looks. But only one may advance and we all know who it is…

 

Victor

ursula andress 6

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

 

Bout #2

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

solitaire pose tie

 

VS

 

anya poster

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Solitaire is so innocent (partially due to her character) but super hot as well. Her low cut outfits always make viewers drool a bit…

 

Turns out she is even more smoking outside of the Bond movie. And age hasn’t really slowed her down either. She is incredibly sexy in that one picture where she is older.

 

But let’s see what Anya has to say about it.

 

 

Another beautiful woman. Also just discovered she’s not one to shy away from showing some boob, which is big bonus points.

 

This is a tough one. Both women are incredibly hot, but I think this one pushes ahead ever so slightly.

 

Victor

jane seymour 3

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

 

Bout #3

 

We’ve got a 3’fer for this one.

 

Ploa Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola boo

 

VS

 

christmas jones walk

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

VS

 

Miranda Frost-Die-Another-Day-ice-palace-bed-scene-bond-girls-40324827-690-450

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

This is the battle of the blonds! Which of these three hotties will advance to the finals? I guess we’ll have to check out some pictures.

 

Pola looks great in a hot tub. Let’s see how she looks in clothes.

Sorry…isn’t too much on her.

 

Next up is Christmas…yes I resisted the urge to make a Christmas joke.

Mmm…scrumptious.

Next is good ol’ Miranda!

 

Phew…sexy

 

Alright, there is a clear first, second and third here.

Right away, looking at these 3 women, Pola is easily the worst looking out of all of them.

Miranda is very sexy, but there is something missing from her…I can’t tell what though. She’s hot enough to have made it this far, but I don’t know what it is that is holding her back.

This leaves an almost easy win for Ms. Christmas!

 

Victor

denise_richards_03

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Alright, at long last we have our 3 finalists! See you in the finals!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 3

Welcome to round 3! Things are really staring to heat up now! Catch up through all the links listed here, and now, for the hottest Bond girls the secret agent has ever shagged shall continue to face off…

 

Bout #1

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honey-ryder-in-bikini

 

VS

 

romanova

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

 

Phew…Two beautiful blonds…but one of them is clearly hotter than the other…

 

Victor

honey ryder towel

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

 

Bout #2

 

Domino (Thunderball)

domino goggles

 

VS

 

helga top

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

 

Again, two absolutely beautiful/hot women, one young, one a bit older. There is a clear winner yet again…

 

Victor

domino smile

Domino (Thunderball)

 

 

Bout# 3

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

solitaire the-four-feathers-the-james

 

VS

 

mary goodnight 4

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

The first two bouts in this round had clear winners despite each woman being gorgeous. This one, there is not a clear winner. Both women are sexy as heck. Mary even spends a good amount of time during the movie in a bikini, showing off her flawless bod. Even with the silly face she makes in this photo of her, she is still evidently beautiful.

Solitaire has an innocent, yet sexy vibe going on, and just looks to have amazing skin that you just want to slip inside…if you catch my meaning…

This is a tough call but…

 

Victor

solitaire real

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

 

Bout #4

 

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

anya 3

 

VS

 

octopussy 2

Octopussy (Octopussy)

Old versus young here, but again, we are back to both being beautiful but with a clear winner.

 

Victor

Anya Amasova 07

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

 

Bout #5

 

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola bond

 

VS

pam bouvier

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

To short haired beauties, with hot, sexy bodies. But once more there is a clear winner.

 

Victor

polaview3

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

 

Though being wet and naked really helps her.

 

Bout #6

 

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

cecilie thomsen-07

 

VS

christmas purple

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Oh boy. These are two hotties if I ever saw some. Inga is a quick lay at the beginning of a movie, but she is such a smoking blond with a perfect body.

But Christmas just oozes sexiness, to the point that she looks way better in that sexy purple dress than Inga does naked.

 

Victor

christmas

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

 

Bout #7

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

miranda frost

 

VS

 

severine blur

Severine (Skyfall)

 

This is a tough one. Both of these women are very hot, and even more sexy. They have tough attitudes and dirty thoughts, not to mention flawless bodies. But there is one that does have an edge. She has some kind of sexiness to her, yet innocence that just draws you in.

 

Victor

rosamund-pike-die-another-day-promos-stills_9

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

 

That’s it for now. See you in the semi-finals!

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 2, Part 2

Here we are, in the final part of round 2. This will decide who the hottest are, who will then move on to the next round for a truly steamy battle! Catch up on everything here.

And now, let’s see some hotties!

 

Bout # 8

 

Melina Havelock (For Your Eyes Only)

melina_havelock

 

VS

 

octopussy sexy

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

This is a tough one. Melina is much younger, and very beautiful, but dresses conservatively and doesn’t smile much.

Octopussy is a decade or two older, but still works it. She is gorgeous for her age, and though she doesn’t actually wear that sexy outfit in the movie, it shows she’s still got some curves. Her hair is still very much alive, keeping up with Melina’s long locks.

Victor

octopussy

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

 

Bout# 9

 

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola bath

 

VS

 

stacy sutton celebridades-del-cine

Stacy Sutton (A View To A Kill)

 

Both women are pretty, but one easily beats out the other.

 

Victor

pola ivanova

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

 

Bout# 10

 

Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)

kara-milovy

 

VS

 

pam-bouvier

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

This is an easy one. One completely obliterates the other in sexiness.

 

Victor

pam gun

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

 

Bout #11

 

Natalya Simonova (Goldeneye)

nat

 

VS

 

Tomorrow-Never-Dies-James-Bond-Inga-Bergstrom-Pierce-Brosnan-Cecilie-Thomsen

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Easy. Very Easy.

 

 

Victor

tomorrow-never-dies-116

Professor Inga Berstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Bout# 12

 

Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)

wai lin

 

VS

christmas jones2

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Another ridiculously easy one. No contest here.

 

 

Victor

christmas_jones

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

 

Bout #13

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

miranda

 

VS

 

vesper lynd

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

After a few easy ones, here we reach a really tough one. Both of these women are HOT!! Miranda is one sexy character and dresses really amazing like.

Vesper is also extremely sexy and dresses in ridiculously sexy dresses.

This is tough, but I think Miranda has a slight edge. Her face is more beautiful and gives her a nice innocent, cute glow to her tight bod.

But to honor Vesper, here are some pics.

 

Victor

miranda face

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

 

Bout #14

Severine (Skyfall)

severine08

 

VS

 

madeleine

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

These women are both very beautiful. So much so that this is a tough decision, but I think this one comes out on top (I wish).

 

Victor

severine stairs

Severine (Skyfall)

 

That’s it for round 2. Look for round 3, where things really start to heat up!

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 2, Part 1

Welcome back to the Tournament of Hotties showcasing all the babes that Bond banged. A ton got eliminated in Round 1, but we’ve still got plenty to sift through. See everything you missed in round 1 and let’s hit it off!

 

Bout #1

 

Miss Taro (Dr. No)

miss taro 2

VS

honey-ryder-urseula-andress

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

Despite the beauty both women bring to the table, there is a very easy winner here.

 

 

Victor

honey ryder dress

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

Bout #2

 

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

tatiana romanova blankeyt

 

VS

jill masterson 3

Jill Masterson (Goldfinger)

 

Two beautiful blonds at Bond’s disposal? Tough choice here, but I believe age will win this one out.

 

Victor

tatFromRussiatatiant

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

Bout #3

 

Fiona Volpe (Thunderball)

Fiona-Volpe-bond-girls-3324568-350-200

VS

Domino-Thunderball-525x274

Domino (Thunderball)

 

Two gorgeous women yet again, this time a red head and brunette. It’s hard to tell the age of Miss Volpe. Sometimes she looks 30, sometimes 45. Either way, she’s sexy, and if she’s older, that makes her all the hotter.

Domino is also incredibly beautiful and looks slammin in that bikini.

Victor

domino bond

Domino (Thunderball)

 

Bout #4

 

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

helga brandt

 

VS

 

nancy 3

Nancy (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service)

 

This is an easy one. There’s a beautiful woman here, and a not so beautiful one.

 

helga You-Only-Live-Twice-290

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

 

Bout #5

 

Miss Caruso (Live and Let Die)

Caruso

 

VS

 

solitaire

Solitiare (Live and Let Die)

 

Both women are attractive, but there is one vastly more so.

 

 

Victor

solitaire Live-and-Let-Die-644

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

Bout #6

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

mary goodnight 3

 

VS

 

arab beauty-bond-girls-james-bond

Arab Beauty (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Okay now this is a tough one. Both of these women are gorgeous, and that’s really because they both are showing off a whole lot of skin, revealing tight, sexy bodies. It is most difficult to choose which is hotter, but I think I am leaning to the no named hottie who is in the movie for 10 seconds. Trouble is, aside from the 3 pictures I’ve shown, there really isn’t anything else out there, so that we may gaze upon her endless beauty. And because Mary can compete with her in hotness on all levels, I really must choose…

 

Victor

mary BOND09E_crop

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

 

Bout #7

 

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

anya amasova

 

VS

holly-goodhead

Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)

 

Two very hot women in this bout. But one just has the age, beauty and sexy look that the other does have…but just falls short a bit.

 

Victor

 

anya nightgown

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Well there you have it! 7 of the hottest Bond girls have just moved on to the next round! Check out the next part to see the rest of the women who will continue on as well!

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 1, Part 5

Here is the final part of Round 1. A record number of women have been shown in this round, and we are down to the last few. Check out the rest in parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. Now let’s get down to business.

 

 

 

Bout #25

Jinx Johnson (Die Another Day)

jinx johnson

 

VS

 

rosamund pike sexy

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

Okay…sigh…this is definitely the hardest match up yet. Both of these women are completely stunning.

Jinx kills it in that bikini, showing off her perfect body. (It is the incredibly gorgeous Halle Berry after all).

But Miranda looks just as jaw dropping, showing off a slightly more toned body. So what to do when faced with two perfect women and you can’t have both?

What’s worse is how both of them act so sexy and dress even sexier in their movies. This is quite a frustrating choice, but I think this one pulls out ahead.

 

 

Victor

Miranda-Frost

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

Sorry Jinx fans, Miranda’s just got better hair and on top of being hot and sexy, there is a cuteness to her that draws me a bit closer to her than Jinx.

 

Bout #26

 

vesper

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

VS

 

strawberry

Strawberry Fields (Quantum of Solace)

 

This is another bout with 2 absolutely beautiful women.

Vesper’s job is to just look stunning in revealing dresses.

Strawberry has a smaller part, but acts very tough and sexy.

This is both a tough and easy decision.

 

Victor

vesper black dress

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

Note that she probably only beats Strawberry for her consistently sexy attire. I just want to point this out just so as not to undermine how gorgeous and hot Strawberry Fields is.

 

 

Bout #27

 

Bond’s Lover (Skyfall)

bonds-lover

 

VS

severine skyfall-16598-1920x1080

Severine (Skyfall)

 

This is an easy one. Bond’s Lover is just some chick he was banging while the world thought he was dead. She’s in it for like 10 seconds and you barely see her. She’s mostly just getting shagged in the shadows. She doesn’t even look attractive from the picture above.

And then there’s Severine and well…yeah…

 

 

Victor

severine

Severine (Skyfall)

 

 

Bout #28

 

Lucia (Spectre)

lucia

 

VS

 

madeline spectre1

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

Both of these women are very beautiful, but not overly so.

If I remember, Lucia is a cheating whore and gets murdered for it, and Madeline is the hard to get lay. While both of them are sexy looking, there is a clear winner.

 

Victor

madeline

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

And there we have it! All the women that Bond has banged (by my count) have duked it out. Next up is Round 2!

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 1, Part 4

Check out parts 1, 2, and 3 to catch up, and without further delay here are 12 more women James Bond has had his way with.

 

Bout # 19

 

Linda (The Living Daylights)

linda

VS

kara milovy

Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)

 

Neither of these women are particularly hot, though they are both attractive enough I suppose.

Linda looks amazing in that bikini, and she gets banged in such an absurd way…Bond simply parachutes onto her boat and she takes it as a gift from the heavens and bangs him…pretty dumb…but hey…good for Bond. Anyone who saw that body wouldn’t turn her down. But her hair and face I don’t find all that great.

Kara has a prettier face and hair style, and it looks like she has just as good a body as Linda.

If I were to pass either of these girls on the street, this one would catch my eye…

Victor

kara

Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)

 

Bout #20

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

pam

 

VS

lupe

Lupe Lamora (License To Kill)

This is another tough one. Both of these women are beautiful, but neither really stand out.

Though I don’t love Pam’s hair, she has a beautiful, strong face and looks simply amazing in that form fitting dress.

Lupe looks incredible in her dress as well, showing off plenty of cleavage. She as well has a beautiful face, but as a whole appears weak and frail, but sexy as heck. Normally I would go for Lupe hands down, but there is some aura about Pam that attracts me to her, like a dang bug zapper.

 

Victor

pam 2

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

Bout #21

 

Caroline (Goldeneye)

caroline

VS

Natalya Simonova

Natalya Simonova (Goldeneye)

 

This is yet another bout where the two women are attractive but nothing fantastic, though one woman does look extra beautiful in these pictures.

 

Victor

natalya comp

Natalya Simonova (Goldeneye)

 

 

Bout #22

 

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

cecile thomsen

VS

pariscarver

Paris Carver (Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Here we have two absolutely stunning women, one a gorgeous young blond, the other an older beautiful brunette. Despite both of these women being rather irresistible looking, there is a clear winner here.

 

Victor

bond-girls-cecile

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Bout #23

 

Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)

Wai Lin [Tomorrow Never Dies]

VS

molly

Dr. Molly Warmflash

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Both of these women are beautiful, one young and one older. The older isn’t all that great I suppose, but when she gets stripped down to her underwear, she looks incredible. Sadly, I can’t find any decent pictures of her.

There is one clear winner here.

 

 

Victor

tomorrow16

Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

 

Bout #24

 

Elektra King (The World Is Not Enough)

elektra king

VS

denise Richards jones

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Both of these women are gorgeous and both act extremely sexy in the movie, Elektra throwing herself at Bond, while Christmas played hard to get. To make matters worse, (or better), they both dress as sexy as they act, each looking jaw dropping and amazing in everything they wear.

elektra king and bond

I mean look how sexy this is. Even though Bond is about to be killed, I really don’t think he has much to complain about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite the sexy hotness both of these ladies bring, there is an easy victor here.

 

Victor

christmas jones

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Well that’s it for this part. Look for part 5 where we will finally showcase the last few women that Bond gave it to.