The Sad Case of Emma Watson

This is the tragic tale of someone who had the potential to be one of the most beautiful women in the world…but it just didn’t happen.

Okay, allow me to explain. Emma Watson was introduced to most of the world when the first Harry Potter movie came out. The world watched her, along with all the other child actors, grow up through this series of movies.

If her Wikipedia page is correct, then I am 10 months older than Ms. Watson, so in a way, I was growing up right beside her, and by this I mean, she was my peer from another continent, and a girl I would be interested in, seeing as we were the same age.

In the first two movies, she was nothing to look at, being so young. But I remember when the third movie came out, I was like “dang, Hermione is beautiful. If she’s this hot now, I can’t imagine how good looking she’ll be as an adult.”

emma watson poa

Sure, now it looks like she’s a little kid, but remember, at the time so was I, and she was better looking than most girls in my school…by far. (Professional make-up tends to do that…) It was at this time she began to mature into a woman, and it was really exciting to see.

I mean, look how much older she looks compared to the previous movie.

emma watson cos

As the years went by, I watched her in each movie, hating the movies generally, but admiring Emma Watson’s good looks.

But by the fifth or sixth movie, I began to notice something, and it was confirmed by the final movies…The woman I expected her to grow up to never came to pass.

Her body never fully developed. She never grew boobs, a butt, any type of womanly growth she was supposed to get in her teen years didn’t really happen. In fact, she just looks a little older and taller by the seventh movie, the rest of her body looks exactly the same as in the third movie.

Seriously! This is her when she’s 13 and when she’s 20. The only differences when she’s 20 is she looks older and a bit taller and broader. It’s tragic, but her body just never reached it’s full potential. Maybe she was huffing too many potion fumes?

By the sixth movie, I lost all interest in her looks. By this time, most of the girls in my high school, and then college, were far better looking than her, and actually had things to look at on them.

Don’t get me wrong though, she’s still a good looking girl, at least when it comes to her face and hair, but as a whole package, she’s not much.

And then when the movies were all done, she made the worst mistake she possibly could. You know what I’m talking about.

emma watson haircut

Yuck! She took away her best and only feminine feature. I can’t even look at this picture for more than a second without getting disgusted!

I haven’t really seen anything on her in some time, but I think her hair grew back, but her body remains the same.

But hey, she can still be hot…here’s proof.

emma watson-smile

Emma Watson shows off her tiny stomach in revealing costume during the filming of "The Bling Ring" in Los Angeles

emma watson black dress

emma watson bikini

She looks gorgeous and sexy in these pictures, but then again, what woman with a decent figure wouldn’t, dressed liked that?

Really, picture any other woman you’re attracted to in these clothes, and that’s when it hits that maybe she doesn’t look that great after all. I personally would much rather see an infinite number of woman in her place here.

In fact, these pictures may not even be real! I know there’s a lot of fake photos of her face on other women with better bodies, because clearly other people had the same wishes as I did.

I am in no way bashing or insulting Emma Watson for her unfortunate physique. It’s not her fault. And her body is nice and slender, so that’s a plus. It appears she takes care of what little she has anyway.

All I’m saying is what a disappointment it was to see each movie after the third and not see her develop into one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Poor Emma, I had such high hopes for you!

The Most Disappointing Movie Sequels Of All Time

Going hand in hand with my last post about why sequels don’t have to be better, and how expectations ruin any chance of enjoying sequels, I am going to keep a running list of sequels as I can think of them that were disappointing to me, whether I had expectations or not.

spiderman 3 Spider-Man 3

2007

 

 

 

I absolutely loved the first two in this trilogy, and when I heard Venom, one of my favorite villains of all time was at last going to be in a movie, I couldn’t rest easy until I saw it. This is probably the most excited I had ever been to see a movie in my life. In other words, my expectations were through the roof, and they weren’t even close to met.

Too many villains, Venom being terrible, and a heavier focus on MJ’s and Peter’s relationship were not up to my standards, and I hated the movie, all my hopes and dreams shattered.

After the third or fourth time I saw it, it grew on me though, and now I actually like it quite a bit.

 

amazing spider man 2 The Amazing Spider-Man 2

2014

 

 

 

Sticking with Spider-Man, here’s one that I didn’t have any expectations for. And it was still disappointing. Again, too many villains, and all of them pointless. This was almost entirely about Peter and Gwen, Spider-Man being in like four scenes the whole movie.

The first one in the series, I wasn’t crazy about, but it was still enjoyable, but not as much as the original trilogy. I guess I was a little bit hoping this one would be better since all the origin stuff was out of the way, but no, not even close.

But again, after three viewings, I can now say I really like this movie.

star wars last jediStar Wars: The Last Jedi

2017

 

 

 

This is the only movie in recent years that I actually did go into with some expectations, for it was finally going to give me something I have been wanting to see for literally my entire life… what Luke Skywalker was doing after episode 6.

And it was beyond disappointing. I can’t even describe how much so. Especially since the entire plot to 7 & 8 was to find and enlist Luke to help save the galaxy like he did before. The furthest possible thing from this happens, and it is a huge kick in the nads to every person wanting to see what Luke was all about.

The second he tosses his old lightsaber off the cliff, my hopes and dreams and childhood fell with it.

Oddly enough, after the third time seeing it, I like it now. Third time seems to be the charm for all these movies!

nullAvengers: Endgame

 

2019

 

 

 

I call this the best disappointment of all time, for it is a good movie, but nothing worthy of the Avengers name. They spend most of the movie focusing on the past, and paying tribute to the whole 11-year story line. None of the intense action was there, and the climatic fight at the end is a ridiculous mess of cameos.

iron man 2 Iron Man 2

2010

 

 

 

I don’t really like the Iron Man trilogy at all, but this movie is straight up bad. I didn’t have any expectations for this, but again, now that the origin stuff was out of the way, you’d think they’d have a good action movie with Iron Man in more than three scenes, and a final fight that didn’t put you to sleep.

dark knight rises

The Dark Knight Rises

 

2012

 

 

 

After the masterpiece that was The Dark Knight, this one had a lot to live up to, especially since the ending left it open for some awesome possibilities. Instead, it’s way in the future and Bat Man’s crippled and I don’t know what the heck was going on. It was filled with bad choices and ultimately a bit on the boring side.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure I will add more later. But it sure seems like Marvel is really good at making disappointing movies.

Why Do Sequels Always Have To Be Better?

If a sequel to anything…book, movie, album, video game…is not better than the previous entry, then it is completely hated by most of the world.

I can understand that people want something to be better, for why make a new product that is inferior to the last? But to expect something to always constantly be better, especially in long running series’ or bands that have been together for decades, it’s just not realistic and not possible.

Say something like the first video game in a series is very good. The sequel is just “good.” This really means, it’s garbage and a stain upon the earth! This sequel should be “extremely good,” then the third needs to be “exceptionally good,” fourth “positively great,” and then the fifth “flawless.” Any made after that is doomed to fail, assuming the series succeeded in the impossible task of making each game better than the last up until that point.

This is a challenging task in itself, but you’ve also have to compete against nostalgia and expectation, two things that doom every product to fail…in one way or another.

If people really like something in a title, then their expectations run wild within their imagination for the next entry. The internet does little to help, by releasing rumors and getting a dozen “hype trains” in motion, so that by the time the product actually releases, fans have these insane delusions of what the product should be, so that it will never be good enough, despite how good it is or not. They never even consider things the creators face, such as time, and budget, and such resources like that.

And nostalgia, that’s it. If someone is nostalgic over something, then it’s over. Every single product is doomed to fail in that series. Nostalgia asks the entertainment business to recreate a feeling or memory that consumer experienced during the the first thing they played, read, listened to, or watched in that series.

This is simply not possible, mostly because that feeling is caused because it is the first time becoming part of that series. These feelings may have nothing to do with the product itself, even, but from something happening in their life at that time that makes them very happy. These feelings can’t be replicated, they just can’t. Especially if they were first experienced as a small child, versus now being an adult.

I made a post going a bit deeper with nostalgia, so I won’t say too much now.

The point is, people need to stop comparing sequels to the other entries in their series’ and simply look at them as they are. Sure it can be fun to compare them, but just because an older one is better, doesn’t mean the new one isn’t good.

I have long learned that going into anything with any personal wishes, hopes, or expectations of any kind, will destroy your experience and you will be sorely disappointed. The likelihood of something meeting someone’s exact expectations, or even some of them, is the equivalent of winning the lottery.

But going in with an open mind, with only entertainment as your goal, then you’ll experience the product with an unbiased vision, and therefore judging it as it is, not by what it should be or what it was, or what you wished it was.

 

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Reaction (No Spoilers)

It’s pretty good.

The only Star Wars movie I never really liked was Last Jedi, but I even grew to like that one, as described here. I say this to let people know I’m a huge fan, and don’t get bothered at all by some of the things pretty much everyone else in the world does, mind you.

The Rise of Skywalker is by far the best film in the sequel trilogy, but I wouldn’t go as far to say it’s better than the other six movies of the same saga. Given the circumstances (Carrie Fischer dying and Last Jedi derailing everything in a way), the movie does a nice job, and completes the nine-movie saga in a mostly satisfying way.

There is just the right amount of nostalgia mixed in with new and exciting ideas, where as Episode 7 slammed nostalgia down your throat until you vomited, and Episode 8 gave the other 7 films the finger.

The first 5-10 minutes are possibly the best moments in Star Wars history. The last 20-30 minutes are pretty incredible, and the middle is a bit on the boring side, but still easily watchable.

I can’t honestly say there’s really anything bad about the movie at all. For the first time, the sequel trilogy has a film that feels like it fits within the Star Wars legacy.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi- Third Time’s the Charm

For some reason I feel the need to post about this every time I watch the Last Jedi.

If you’re curious, this is what I had to say the first time, and here’s what I said the second.

Basically, I didn’t like it the first time, and then claimed it was bad, but not as bad the second time.

Now the third time, I have to admit I enjoyed it.

It has great action, the characters are cool, there’s some decent humor. Heck, I didn’t even mind Rose this time around.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not thrilled about a lot of the decisions made in the movie, and the casino scene is still horrendous, but overall, it’s a solid movie that leaves a lot open for the ninth episode.

So basically, I’m saying I have hope Rise of Skywalker will smooth out everything, in which afterwards, The Last Jedi won’t seem so terrible, but a necessary component that sets some plots in motion, and simply puts others on hold, and ties the whole trilogy together.

I can see why the second movie may be the toughest to make, since it’s basically filler while the first episode starts up everything and the third concludes it. So the middle movie, as it stands alone without a complete trilogy may seem off and terrible.

Episodes 2 and 5 are my least favorite from the other trilogies (usually), so it’s no surprise this one will definitely be my least favorite in this trilogy too. Unless of course they really mess up Episode 9.

But anyway, I never go into any movie with any kind of expectations, except for Last Jedi, for it was something I wanted to see for literally as long as I can remember, and that is why it fell flat for me, and many other people too. But now that I know what happens and the shock has worn off, and I’ve accepted that this is what it is, I have found enjoyment in it.

luke dying

Rambo Series Ranked/Rambo: Last Blood Review

I never thought in my life that a new Rambo movie would come out. The third one released about a year before I was born, so for a very long time, I thought that was it. I remember always thinking, ‘I wish they would make five, so that they could be even with the Rocky series.’

In 2008, the impossible happened. A fourth one came out, along with it, the possibility of another sequel, but eventually it tapered off, Stallone basically saying he was too old for a fifth. And then one day, nearly 11 years after the fourth one came out, my brother informed me that he was indeed making the film, and showed me some set photos.

I was floored. It seems in less than a week, I will get my wish at long last. Five movies to match Rocky, even though thankfully that series has increased in number as well. But I am not  going to wait for a sixth one, for that just isn’t ever going to happen. I am satisfied completely with the fifth one. The trailer alone makes me confident this movie is going to be intense and incredible. I just watched it again, and it gave me chills

So to celebrate this monumental occasion, I will be ranking all the movies from my least favorite to my most favorite.

So away we go!!

 

#4 Rambo

rambo

This movie is incredibly moving and emotional, due to the fact that it very accurately portrays war in third world countries and the cruelty of humanity. Each weapons effects on human bodies is realistic and brutal, which really brings into light how horrible war is and why Rambo tries his best to get away from it.

While I find the movie to be utterly fantastic, it also has a bit of disappointing parts in it. I wasn’t thrilled that Rambo wasn’t doing pretty much everything on his own, despite the fact that I really like all the mercenaries he works with.

I also don’t like that there isn’t any cool stealth kill parts like they have in the first three. That is definitely missed.

The final thing that bugs me is that during the finale scene, Rambo just sits behind a machine gun mounted on a truck the whole time, which is cool, because he shreds up all kinds of stuff, but it is also boring in a way.

 

#3 Rambo III

rambo 3

This movie is a masterpiece. It’s got intense action throughout most of the movie, and even has Colonel Trautman doing a bit of fighting, which is something many people have wanted to see I’m sure. While Rambo does receive a bit of help in this one, it really just focuses on him, and actually the help hinders him at times.

Rambo faces his most vicious and largest enemies yet, fearlessly taking on an entire army that culminates into the best finale in the series. He drives a tank into a helicopter for God’s sake. This move is the epitome of 80’s action.

#2 Rambo: First Blood Part II

Rambo-First-Blood-Part-II-Soundtrack-2CD

If the third one is a masterpiece, this  is just a little bit more so. The action, the hate, the betrayal, the message… Everything about it is amazing. And when Rambo starts to fall for someone, she dies immediately, as if the movie is punishing itself for daring to be anything other than awesome. The “Murdock, I’m coming to get you,” scene is one of the most badass scenes in history.

#1 First Blood

rambo first blood

This one is just slightly more of a masterpiece than 2 & 3. The whole calm, sad Rambo being pushed to take on a whole town theme is amazing. How he takes down every cop in the woods, incredible. Showing off his survival skills in said woods and in the mine is fun to watch.

I really like that a lot of the movie is just music and not a whole lot of talking goes on. Trautman’s ridiculous warnings to Teasle really hype up Rambo’s deadly skills. Just every second of this film is either tense, action packed, or awesome in some shape or form.

 

As a whole, this series is one of the best out there, despite it’s ridiculously inconsistent titling. I could watch these every day, they simply blow me away like all the stuff Rambo blows up in his life. I am completely confident that the fifth will be able to stand among these four incredible films. I already like it better than the fourth one just from watching the trailers!

Last Blood Review

The movie is pretty darn incredible. I’m just going to go right out and say it. It shows Rambo in a new light, a brighter one, if you will. One where he is actually content with life, which is something we have never seen before. And then by the end of the movie, we have never seen him so angry. For now, he’s not fighting in someone else’s war. This time, it’s just personal…and it’s awesome.

The first 2/3 of the movie is more like a super violent Taken, and then the last third is just everything you love about Rambo to the extreme. The ending is mind blowing. If you like hardcore action, then this will float your boat, I’m sure. If you are someone who doesn’t like unnecessary violence, well then don’t watch this.

The music is great as well. They take all the themes from the other movies and adjust them to the mood of the scenes going on, so that it actually reminded me a lot of the Rocky series, and actually succeeds in enhancing the emotions being felt or the themes being represented in each scene.

Interestingly enough, being as Rambo is a quiet, hardly talking maniac of death and destruction, this is probably one of Stallone’s best performances. The emotion he gives off, the hate, the rage, the hurt…all excellent. You can practically see an aura of rage floating around him like he is a Super Saiyan by the end. Again, this really enhances the viewing.

Some parts of it are a little slow, but that’s because they are plot building, and I was itching to see Rambo go nuts. And he does. Believe me. It’s worth the wait.

They never describe how Rambo is actually related to the girl who refers to him as “Uncle John,” nor how she is related to the other woman who lives with them. This isn’t really a big deal, but the viewer is pretty much left to assume a whole lot about them, but overall, it’s not really important. The movie makes this clear. All you need to know is the young girl, Gabriella, is like a daughter to Rambo. And this Gabriella has the most beautiful, big brown eyes that kind of make your heart melt. This is fortunate, because she does a lot of crying, and those eyes just make it so much sadder, on top of her being adorable and crying is something you never want to see her do.

As for ranking this…I don’t know…I really don’t. It’s definitely better than 4, but I can’t really say where it falls among the first 3. Sometimes it’s my favorite, sometimes I like it less than 3 or equally as 3. I would just consider it a masterpiece like the first 3.

Watching this made me realize how different all 5 films are. Each brings your attention to a different real world problem, and never really holds your hand doing it. They never hold back from the violence that exists in this world, showing you the cruelty of humanity, something Rambo tries to separate from himself and protect others from. This is a constant theme in the entire series, Last Blood being no exception. And with the advancements in technology, the fourth and fifth film are especially effective in showing how destructive people and weapons can be.

So what I have learned is that the Rambo series doesn’t need to be ranked. They are all so entertaining, educate you in a brutal way, and have an interesting, tortured soul he turns into a volcano of fury and then murders everyone in his way as the lead role. And a credit to this film, there is a slight 80’s action movie feel to this film at times, which is a nice throw back to Rambo’s roots.

Bottom line, if you love Rambo, you are going to love this. If you like action movies, you will like this. If you are expecting a movie with a deep twisting plot, involved, fleshed out characters, and a deep sense of meaning that will leave you feeling like a better person…then you clearly have never seen a Rambo movie before. These films have always been about awareness of global issues and intense action entertainment. And this one delivers on that.

 

P.S.

It’s better the second viewing.

 

 

 

Sylvester Stallone- I Thank You For A Lifetime of Entertainment

This guy. This crazy action star. This crazy not action star as well. He is an amazing writer, fairly decent actor, and master of the entertainment biz.

I grew up in the 90’s, and what I watched was the usual Nickelodeon shows, Hercules and Xena, and FRIGGIN AWESOME 80’s ACTION MOVIES!!!!!

Stallone, Schwarzenegger (thank god that’s in spell check, cuz didn’t know how to begin spelling that), Steven Seagal, Mel Gibson, whatever other movies that involved machine guns that never ran out of ammo and enormous explosions. Though oddly, I’ve never seen a single Die Hard movie.

But it was the Stallone movies that were always my favorite. Demolition Man, The Specialist, Tango & Cash, Cobra. It didn’t matter what, I just love them. But above all, I absolutely love the Rambo series. I still consider them some of the best action movies ever made. Seeing the fourth one opening night was the best movie-going experience I have ever been to. The sold out theater was so full of energy, some of the crowd in red bandanas, everyone in love with the same series as myself. We cheered at the awesome parts, shouted quotes from the older movies; it was like going to a convention all about Rambo.

Then, when I thought his career was over, he brings us a truly incredible trilogy. I am of course talking about the Expendables. Again, these are some of the best action movies out there…all three of them. And what’s more, he gave us something every 80’s and 90’s kid always hoped for. A movie with Stallone and Arnold (not trying to spell his last name again) kicking butt side by side. But he didn’t stop there. He brought in all these action stars from over several decades and actually did a great job balancing screen time for them all. Stallone and Jason Statham are the main characters, so they get the most obviously, but there is plenty of other time for everyone else.

Did you ever think you would see Jet Li fight Dolph Lundgren? How about Steve Austin beat the hell out of Stallone? This is a dream come true, and all done in the style of 80’s action with modern cinematics.

But there is one franchise that sits above all Stallone’s feats. You know I am talking about the Rocky movies. The film that made Stallone world renowned. This movie and it’s five sequels are just phenomenal. I actually have a post where I rank them all.

They are my favorite films of all time. And having him in the Creed movies is just as wonderful, again all these years later, he is still giving us the characters we grew up with, that we love. They age as we age, making it easier to connect with them. We get to watch them deal with struggles throughout these characters lives. We grow and learn with them. It’s just a fascinating experience.

And Stallone, on the downhill slope to 80, is doing it to us again. I am of course talking about Rambo 5, or rather Rambo: Last Blood. When my brother told me that he was making this, I went through the roof. Then the trailer came out, and I went through the clouds. Right away, I gasped, “This looks like it was going to be the best one.” The second trailer solidified that feeling.

I of course will reserve judgement until I see the movie, but damn. What a way to go out. Though I assume Stallone will give us more, and maybe even a Rambo 6 when he gets bored in his late 80’s.

It scares me to say that. If you are like me, you worry about when actors you love get old. I have now lived through this with all my favorite action heroes now senior citizens. But I can’t imagine a world without Sylvester Stallone in it. The movies he comes with out with are always my cup of tea. When he dies, it will be like losing a family member. I know that sounds weird, but it’s the truth. I felt the same way when Han Solo died. I was upset over that for like three days! Stallone will take me a lot longer to get over, because we will lose the actor himself, Barney Ross, Rocky Balboa, and John Rambo. All of them, dead. I have never met the actor and it’s pretty safe to say I never will, but all the characters he’s played, I feel like I know so well. It is going to be a devastating time.

But anyway, that’s kind of depressing talk, so for now, I am going to be anxiously waiting for Last Blood to come out on Sep. 20.

But I just want to say thank you Sylvester Stallone. My life would literally not be the same without you in it.

Robin Hood (2018) How Is This Considered A Bad Movie?

The wife and I just watched this movie, which is one I’ve been dying to see ever since I saw a trailer for it last year. But it was only in theaters for a few weeks and we missed it. Turns out, it’s short ride in theaters was because it bombed in the box office. This alone confuses me. If it’s pulled from theaters, how’s it going to ever make money?

Anyway, I bought the bluray, and it turned out to be better than I could have hoped for! They even left it open for a sequel, but because it lost so much money, that got canned, which is super upsetting, because we were extremely excited for one.

But this movie just further imprints upon me how distant my views for all things media are compared to the rest of the larger world.

Movie critics gave this a next to zero score, and regular viewers didn’t give it much more.

I personally would give it a 9.5/10. But then, I’m just looking to be entertained, I don’t expect everything that 90% of the rest of the world is hoping/looking for.

I don’t care about reviews or what other people think…at all. But I’m tired of being shafted out of sequels because of box office numbers and bad critiques and all that. Terrible movies that do great in theaters are good movies and vice versa. Yes, I am aware we live in a business world and making money is truly all that matters, but come on!

Going back to Robin Hood, I just can’t imagine how anyone would watch this and come out saying, “Man, that sucked!” unless you don’t like action movies at all.

Which speaking of, the action is top notch. It has unique/incredibly awesome action scenes, doing some crazy stuff with bows and arrows that is just super fun to watch.

The style of the movie is pretty interesting as well. They made the scenery, costumes, attitudes, weaponry, personalities, and dialogue with the typical stuff you would expect from a time period for Robin Hood, but combined it with a lot of styles and workings from today, resulting in a truly fascinating world.

robin-hood-2018-review-taron-egerton

And on top of that, the characters are all done in the same fashion in a way. You have all the classic Robin Hood characters, tweaked just enough to be both familiar and fresh. And they are a lot of fun to watch, especially since the acting is so good from literally every actor/actress.

The story gets the same treatment. It is actually an origin movie of how he becomes Robin Hood, which to my knowledge is a new one. And in a world filled with origin movies (I’m talking about you, Marvel) this one is by far the best. Yes, it’s not super hero related, but the premise is the same. And most of Marvels origin movies are crap to okay at best. I know they are not really comparable movies on a lot of levels, but as for action movies, Robin Hood blows away most in it’s genre.

So I think Robin Hood is one of the best movies ever made to be honest, and my wife thinks it might be her favorite movie of all time.

So I’m just really curious, what the heck do people look for in movies that this gem would be considered bad?

Side note: Apparently there is a King Arthur movie similar to this that got just as bad reviews. I very much want to check out this movie as well!

 

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls, Finals

At long last, we have reached the finals! Due to an uneven amount of girls, we have three incredibly sexy finalists instead of two. But no one would ever say no to 3 women, am I right? Especially when they look like this. Check out the rest of the tournament listed in these links and now, let’s see who the hottest Bond girl is once and for all!

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honeycap

One of the first Bond girls, all the way back from the first movie has fought and clawed her way to the finals. But let’s face it, she didn’t have to try too hard, seeing as how incredibly gorgeous she is. But don’t take my word for it…here ya go!

 

 

Man she is gorgeous…even when she is older. She has such a beautiful face and sexy body. I can’t help but feel jealous of Bond. As a bonus, she is not shy and shows off her body quite a bit, both in revealing clothing and no clothing if you want to look into that…have at it!

 

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

Jane-Seymour-Solitaire-Live-And-Let-Die-james-bond-37169393-640-431

 

Moving away from blonds, we have the beautiful, innocent, yet unbelievably sexy brunette named after an okay card game. Let’s see how she plays out!

 

 

 

This is another woman who you could bang the heck out of her whole life. She’s so sexy even when she is much older. Her long hair is so beautiful, her body tight, she has an innocent cute side to her and absolute wild side. In short, her whole life, she has been an irresistible woman.

 

 

Dr.Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

The-World-is-not-Enough-1382

 

Back to blond again or uhh dirty blond? This woman is the definition of sexy. The way she talks, moves, frickin’ just stands there. She is just stunning. Look at those big open lips up there…mmm.

 

 

 

Whew, she is gorgeous. But of the three she is the only one whose looks shattered as she got older, in a bad way too. But at least her body is still sexy!

 

Alright, now it’s time for the decision. The winner is easy, but the runner ups are a little tougher, but for third place…

 

Second Runner Up

ursula andress-31

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

This one was really close. Both her and the next girl were literally neck and neck, or should I say boob and boob?

So who is the runner up?

 

 

Runner Up

jane-seymour-as-the-princess-farah-in-sinbad-and-the-eye-of-the-tiger

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

There’s just something about her…

 

And that of course leaves the hottest Bond girl to ever exist!!!

 

Winner

denise richards-hot-39

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

That’s right, the hot and sexy doc is the winner. This becomes evident immediately in the movie the first time you see her. They tease you, thinking she is a nerdy doctor in a hazmat suit or something, and then when Bond first sees her (out of the hazmat suit) it’s BAM! The movie knew they had a hot one, and they showed her off every second they could.

There really was no contest for this beauty. She obliterates every other Bond girl. Though her victory should come as no surprise, for her actress, Denise Richards, was in the Impossibly Hot Woman Tournament, in which 16 of the hottest girls on the planet faced off.

So congrats to Dr. Jones, you earned it!

Normally I rank all the women to how I personally find them at the end of the tournament, but since there is so many of them, I might just make another post doing it…if at all…

 

We shall see!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Semi-Finals

Welcome to the semi-finals. 7 of the dozens of women Bond has made sweet love to have fought and clawed their way here. Due to an uneven amount of girls, 3 will make it to the finals, where they will battle to see who the hottest Bond girl of all time is! Check out the rest of the tournament listed here. Now let’s get to it!

 

Bout #1

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honey ryder 2

 

VS

 

domino wave

Domino (Thunder Ball)

 

Dang. Right away we have two fierce hotties.

Honey Ryder is a smoking hot blond. Let’s take a look. So far we have only seen pictures of her bikini clad self from the movie for the most part. Let’s branch out a bit today.

 

Sexy throughout her whole life. Age means nothing for this beloved beauty.

 

 

A sexy brunette with an adorable smile.

 

Both of these women have absolutely earned the right to make it this far. Both have amazing bodies and incredibly good looks. But only one may advance and we all know who it is…

 

Victor

ursula andress 6

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

 

Bout #2

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

solitaire pose tie

 

VS

 

anya poster

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Solitaire is so innocent (partially due to her character) but super hot as well. Her low cut outfits always make viewers drool a bit…

 

Turns out she is even more smoking outside of the Bond movie. And age hasn’t really slowed her down either. She is incredibly sexy in that one picture where she is older.

 

But let’s see what Anya has to say about it.

 

 

Another beautiful woman. Also just discovered she’s not one to shy away from showing some boob, which is big bonus points.

 

This is a tough one. Both women are incredibly hot, but I think this one pushes ahead ever so slightly.

 

Victor

jane seymour 3

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

 

Bout #3

 

We’ve got a 3’fer for this one.

 

Ploa Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola boo

 

VS

 

christmas jones walk

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

VS

 

Miranda Frost-Die-Another-Day-ice-palace-bed-scene-bond-girls-40324827-690-450

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

This is the battle of the blonds! Which of these three hotties will advance to the finals? I guess we’ll have to check out some pictures.

 

Pola looks great in a hot tub. Let’s see how she looks in clothes.

Sorry…isn’t too much on her.

 

Next up is Christmas…yes I resisted the urge to make a Christmas joke.

Mmm…scrumptious.

Next is good ol’ Miranda!

 

Phew…sexy

 

Alright, there is a clear first, second and third here.

Right away, looking at these 3 women, Pola is easily the worst looking out of all of them.

Miranda is very sexy, but there is something missing from her…I can’t tell what though. She’s hot enough to have made it this far, but I don’t know what it is that is holding her back.

This leaves an almost easy win for Ms. Christmas!

 

Victor

denise_richards_03

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Alright, at long last we have our 3 finalists! See you in the finals!