Paper Mario Series Ranked

In honor of the recent release of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Nintendo Switch, I am going to take the entire series, well, all the ones I’ve played anyway, and rank them from worst to best.

I don’t like saying worst to best, because I think every single one of these games is a grand slam. It’s easily one of my favorite series, out there, (it actually came in fourth in my top 10 video game series).

Aside from them being all great, diverse, unique, creative, and charming, it’s the story-telling and humor that really gets me. I can’t explain it, but there’s a certain feeling I get when playing these games that basically says, “yeah, I’m playing Paper Mario, and I’m ecstatic.”

This series doesn’t have a lot of games, which makes it all the more special.

So here we go!

#5

Super Paper Mario

Wii, 2007

Times Beaten-1

The first to stray from the original formula, this takes the classic Mario platforming and combines it with RPG elements and showers the bizarre Paper Mario creativity all over it. Despite being last on the list, it’s still a wonderful game.

#4

Paper Mario: Sticker Star

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 1

 

This one returns to turn-based combat, but requires you to have stickers to attack. You have a sticker book to hold all your stickers, but it has limited space. Weak attacks are small, and stronger ones are huge, so you’ve got to balance them out and use what’s necessary during battles. This adds a fun strategical element to the game. The game also takes the whole paper theme to a new level.

The game uses a world map like in Super Mario World, dividing the game into stages for the first time. It also involves a lot of back-tracking and puzzle solving, which is impossible to figure out. I needed to use a guide the whole game, because it was so confusing.

#3

Paper Mario: Color Splash

Wii U, 2016

Times Beaten- 1

This one is more like Sticker Star, but instead of stickers you use cards to attack, and have to paint them during battle to make them more powerful. You can play three cards at once, and it is rather fun to set up attack trains to fit the situation. The only trouble is, killing enemies grants you items that when enough are gathered, your paint supply grows. Eventually, when it’s big enough to suit your needs, there is no point in fighting enemies. That’s right, there is no experience and level-ups in this game.

#2

Paper Mario

Nintendo 64, 2001

Times Beaten- 2

The one that started it all, and still one of the most bizarre and brilliant ideas of all time. This is a classic JRPG, but with massively unique elements, though it does borrow from Super Mario RPG. Awesome characters, a variety of partners to help you fight, silly story, it’s all awesome.

#1

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

GameCube, 2004

Times Beaten- 2, maybe 3??

The gameplay in this one is just like the first one. Every area in this level is fantastic and imaginative, and is one of the few games I’ve ever played that I got sad when I beat it. This may be my favorite game of all time, as a matter of fact. Or at least second-favorite.

All these games are hilarious, have fun worlds to explore, characters with quirky personalities, addicting gameplay, and a whole lot of frickin’ awesome.

The world is very divided on this series. Many people complain that they changed the formula and wish the series returned to the the style of the first two.

There’s no denying (in my book) the first two are by far the greatest, but that is no reason to hate on the others, for they are all solid, unbelievably fun and witty games.

Would I like to see a return to the originals? Absolutely, but I am also excited for new ideas, and am anxious to see what other creative, unique, WTF things they can come up with. Which is why I can not wait to play Origami King!

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Adam Sandler’s Lovely Leading Ladies- Finals

At long last, we come to the finals. Many beautiful (and not so beautiful) women have battled it out from the numerous Adam Sandler films out there. And now we come to the final two hotties.

Take a look at all the other rounds here.

Let’s see who the hottest woman Adam Sandler has ever pretended to bang, or at least date or kiss or something like that, is.

 

Holly Sullivan (The Wedding Singer)

holly sullivan 2

Holly has defeated Linda (Wedding Singer), Veronica Vaugn (Billy Madison), Vanessa (Big Daddy) and Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds) in this tournament. Those are some beautiful women.

As I’ve said numerous times already, this actress doesn’t choose to flaunt her body, which is highly unfortunate, but I’ll give you what I can…

She is really, really beautiful, especially in her youth, but is still someone you wouldn’t pass up in her current age.

 

VS

palmer and adam

Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It)

To reach the finals, Palmer had to eliminate Roxanne (Grown Ups), Laura (Funny People), Alex (Chuck & Larry), and Katherine (Just Go With It). That’s a hot line-up, and she managed to prevail.

Fortunately, unlike Holly’s actress, Palmer’s is very much a model, so feast your eyes, good people.

This woman is, as they say, drop-dead-gorgeous.  Incredible body, big boobs, long legs, beautiful face, great hair, what’s not to like? Especially since all of these things are shown off exquisitely in her movie.

Holly is a stunning woman, and I can’t decide if I want to hug her or jump on top of her and do the bad thing, due to her huge  mixture of cuteness and hotness. She’s a very sexy woman, and is downright gorgeous.

The thing is, Palmer is all of those things as well, but even more so.

That’s why, the hottest leading lady in an Adam Sandler movie is…

 

Tournament Winner

palmer dodge

Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It)

 

This doesn’t really come as a surprise if you’ve seen my Impossibly Hot Women Tournament of Hotties, where Palmer’s actress, Brooklyn Decker, was a competitor. That tournament was essentially a grouping of 16 of the hottest women on the planet. But she did actually have some tough competition in here. But in the end, Palmer is just too friggin’ hot to touch.

 

And as a bonus (as usual), here are all the women ranked in my own personal order, from least hot, to hottest, as they appear in their respective films. The round they were eliminated in is in parentheses.

#39 Debbie Lustig (The Week Of) [Round 1]

Rachel-Dratch-Debbie-Downer-SNL-Coronavirus

#38 Flor Moreno (Spanglish) [Round 1]

Paz Vega-12

#37 Jennifer (Eight Crazy Nights) [Round 1]

jennifer 9cn

#36 Dinah Ratner (Uncut Gems) [Round 1]

idina menzel

#35 Becca (The Do-Over) [Round 1]

kathryn hahn

#34 Lena Leonard (Punch-Drunk Love) [Round 1]

Emily Watson Photos

#33 Carmen Herrara (The Cobbler) [Round 1]

melanie diaz

#32 Valerie Veran (Little Nicky) [Round 2]

patricia arquette

#31 Jill Hastings (Bed Time Stories) [Round 1]

keri russell

#30 Dawn (The Do-Over) [Round 1]

catherine bell

#29 Erin Sadelstein (Jack and Jill) [Round 1]

katie holmes

#28 Lucy Whitman (50 First Dates) [Round 1]

drew barrymore-maxim-2

#27 Julia Sullivan (The Wedding Singer) [Round 1]

Drew-Barrymore-poster_1316785_b

#26 Lauren Reynolds (Blended) [Round 1]

drew barrymore_1

#25 Audrey Spitz (Murder Mystery) [Round 1]

jennifer aniston black dress

#24 Courtney Clarke (Sandy Wexler) [Round 2]

jennifer hudson 2

#23 Layla Maloney (Big Daddy) [Round 1]

joey lauren adams

#22 Linda (Wedding Singer) [Round 1]

Angela-Featherstone-Feet-380715

#21 Virginia Venit (Happy Gilmore) [Round 1]

julie bowen-sexy-images_960x544

#20 Vicki Vallencourt (The Waterboy) [Round 2]

fairuza balk 3

#19 Deborah Clasky (Spanglish) [Round 2]

Tea Leoni blue thing

#18 Linda (Anger Management) [Round 3]

marisa tomei butt

#17 Veronica Vaugn (Billy Madison) [Round 2]

bridgette wilson dress

#16 Smoking Fox (The Ridiculous Six) [Round 2]

julia jones-da-man-magazine-02

#15 Laura (Funny People) [Round 2]

leslie mann

#14 Maru McGarricle (That’s My Boy) [Round 2]

eva martino

#13  Vanessa (Big Daddy) [Round 3]

Kristy-Swanson-Celebrity-Actress-Sexy-Premium-8-x

#12 Babe Bennett (Mr. Deeds) [Round 1]

winona-ryder-picture-2

#11 Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds) [Semi-Finalist]

winona what

#10 Violet Van Patten (Pixels) [Round 3]

michelle monaghan tight

#9 Holly Sullivan (The Wedding Singer) [Runner-Up]

christine taylor-bikini-pictures-005

#8 Roxanne Feder (Grown Ups/Grown Ups 2) [Round 1]

salma hayek

#7 Heather (The Do-Over) [Round 2]

paula patton open

#6 Julia De Fiore (Uncut Gems) [Round 3]

julia fox topless selfie

#5 Dalia Hakbarah (You Don’t Mess With The Zohan) [Round 1]

emmanuelle chiriqui bikini

#4 Katherine Murphy (Just Go With It) [Semi-Finalist]

jennifer aniston

#3 Donna Newman (Click) [Round 2]

kate beckinsale leopard bikini top strapless

#2 Alex McDonough (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry) [Round 3]

jessica biel tcm

#1 Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It) [Tournament Winner]

brooklyn-decker-14

 

And there you have it! We’ll see you next Tournament of Hotties!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Adam Sandler’s Lovely Leading Ladies- Round 1, Part 2

Adam Sandler has done a lot of movies, most of them romantic comedies, and he typically has a very attractive woman as the person he is romancing, so it’s time to pit all the wives, girlfriends, partners in some way that he has had among all his movies to see who is the ultimate hottie!

I can’t make any promises that I didn’t miss any, for there’s quite a few and it’s been years (like in the decades) since I’ve seen a lot of these, or I’ve only seen them once and don’t remember, but I’ll do my best to find them all!

Note that I will be judging the women as their characters, and not the actresses themselves, for we will likely see them before and after their films were made.

Check out round 1 before looking on to see the next batch of (hopefully) beautiful women!

 

Bout #6

This next bout is sort of interesting, as it is actually the same woman, but in two personas. But she looks so different in each that I thought it prudent to put both in here.

 

Babe Bennett (Mr. Deeds)

babe bennett

Of the two, Babe is the real one, and she’s sexy…very sexy, and seems to have a kind of slutty reputation. She has an assertive, “I get what I want” attitude, so her rep isn’t all that surprising. She looks incredible in that low cut black dress, making us want to see more and more.

 

VS

Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds)

pam dawson

Babe has taken on the alter-ego of Pam Dawson. She’s a little more made-up, her hair color is lighter, and she’s much more conservative, bashful, kind, and innocent. Not only is this woman much more girlfriend material, but actually better looking, despite her not showing off a good bit of cleavage.

babe pam

They are both beautiful as shown here, but only one can go on. Heck, it’s a win-win for the actress at least.

 

Victor

pam dawson 2

Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds)

 

Bout #7

Jennifer (Eight Crazy Nights)

jennifer 8cn

You know…I had to be thorough.

I’ve never seen this movie so I don’t have much to comment on.

 

VS

Linda (Anger Management)

linda am

Linda is a very good looking woman who seemingly just wants to be banged in public. Most people would oblige to this, for she is very attractive.

Certainly mores so than that cartoon woman.

 

Victor

2

Linda (Anger Management)

Bout #8

Lucy Whitman (50 First Dates)

lucy whitman

She’s meh, and has serious baggage.

 

VS

Deborah Clasky (Spanglish)

deborah clasky

I’ve only seen this movie once, and that was like 15 years ago, so I don’t recall a thing. But as far as Deborah goes, she looks to be a very beautiful woman.

Two blonds battling here, but one is clearly much hotter than the other.

Victor

deborah clasky2

Deborah Clasky (Spanglish)

 

Bout #9

Flor Moreno (Spanglish)

flor moreno spanglish-1

What do you do when your hot blond wife cheats on you? Bang the nanny of course! Even if she kind of looks like a man…

 

VS

Donna Newman (Click)

donna newman

This woman is gorgeous. Click is probably my second-favorite Adam Sandler movie, and the fact that this woman is so sexy adds a lot to it.

This is the easiest decision so far…

Victor

donna newman 2

Donna Newman (Click)

 

Bout #10

Alex McDonough

(I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

alex mcdonough

Well…

Damn.

 

VS

 

Dalia Hakbarah

(You Don’t Mess With The Zohan)

dalia

Wow, another gorgeous woman. Her tanned skin, slim body, long dark hair, woo, it gives me the chills just looking at her.

This is the hardest bout in the tournament at this point by far. Both of these woman are extremely hot and look super sexy in their pictures.

But looking over some pictures, I’d say this one is hotter.

 

Victor

alex cat

Alex McDonough

(I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

I mean, it’s hard to compete with someone in bra and panties and this ridiculously sexy cat costume.

 

But I would like to show off Dalia a bit, since she’s so gosh darn hot.

I wish you didn’t have to end so soon…

 

Anyway, that’s it for round 1, part 2. See you back for part 3!

School Bus Drivers Are The Biggest A-Holes

Y’all ever notice this? I guess because they carry a bunch of kids they think they can do whatever they want.

I’ve nearly been hit by them on several occasions, for they run red lights, ignore right-of-way rules, and even some basic traffic laws. The former two are especially worse when there’s a group of buses. The whole line will go through red lights like a funeral procession, and cut off any car they can, as if they have to maintain a chain of buses.

Basically, I’m tired of them acting like they own the roads.

There are more extreme cases of course. A year or two ago there was a massive accident on a major highway near me, where a school bus missed an exit and decided it would be okay to make a U-turn when the median opened up. This major highway has three-four lanes on either side, mind you, and he just cut from the right most lane to the left, slowed down to a crawl and began to turn his big old bus to the other highway, effectively taking up at least two lanes in the side he was moving out of and likely would have taken up two or three on the other side if he didn’t get slammed into by a dump truck, who couldn’t slow down in time to stop for the random bus turning into the middle of the highway.

school bus 80

And right away, people were blaming the dump truck, who did absolutely nothing wrong.

To me, driving like this is a serious problem. Having such an “I am important cuz I carry kids, so yield to me” attitude is so dangerous. How about they just drive like everyone else, or rather, like regular safe drivers, and they’ll get your kids safely to where they need to be, almost guaranteed. Or at least I’ll get to where I’m going safely, since I won’t have to worry about being cut off all the time.

God dang jerk-offs.

 

The Best Romances In Media

You know how every now and then you’ll be watching a movie or TV show, or reading a book, and you’re blown away by the on-screen chemistry between actors, and/or the way they are written and all that?

It really nails home the feeling these characters have for each other, and makes it incredible to watch or read about, and makes it so very believable and awe-inspiring.

So today, I will be starting a running list of romances that I think are some of the best of all time.

Though forgive me, for I can’t think of too many at this time.

*Note these are in no particular order.*

Charles & Caroline Ingalls

(Little House on the Prairie TV Series)

charles and caroline

This is a very well written show, and the father and mother of the main family’s relationship is no exception.

Despite constantly facing hard times, working their butts off always or dealing with raising a handful of slightly troublesome daughters, they always manage to stay positive and cheerful.

There are many scenes where the two of them goof of and laugh together, and share sweet, tender moments, and it’s all so adorable and believable that this is a caring, loving couple whose bond holds their family together, no matter what happens.

 

 

Rocky & Adrian Balboa

(Rocky movie series)

rocky and adrian

These two have an infectious chemistry right from their first scene together, despite Adrian saying two words to Rocky. Throughout the series, their bond grows stronger, and despite going through really rough times, and really great times, their love never wavers, but grows stronger. They support each other through the bad, and rejoice together when things go well.

The scene in Rocky II when they are walking through a park after they find out Adrian is pregnant, talking about what they want their kid to be like is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. It’s so natural and simple, and so cute. It’s hard to believe they’re acting here, it’s that good.

 

Kara Danvers & Mon-el

(Supergirl TV Series)

kara and mon el

This is probably the best on-screen couple I have ever seen. Despite being from two rival planets, these two fall in love hard, and the interactions are jaw-dropping. Not even because of their lines, it’s way the look at each other, touch each other, kiss, cuddle… all of it seems so real.

And then I found out the actors were actually married in real life, so it pretty much was real. And it aided their fake relationship immensely.

Peter Parker And Mary Jane Watson

(Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man Trilogy)

peter and mj

This one has a lot to do with the way it’s written. This relationship is quite the roller coaster, and the actors nail every point, low or high.

The emotion of each character is so powerful, and portrayed beautifully. Each interaction has me practically holding my breath, for it’s so incredible to watch the points where they love each other, and yet has me full of anxiety during the edgy parts.

From their shy beginnings, when they are just friends, to the moment of climax when they fall in love, to when they fall apart, and come back, repeatedly, it’s all amazing.

 

And that’s all I can think of at the moment.

What relationships do you find extraordinary?

My Top 10 Video Games Series

Over the past few years, I’ve been churning out top 10 games on most of the systems I’ve owned, then went outside the box to do other lists, such as the top 10 most occurring years, genres, and developers, to find which were my favorite of those…in a way.

Now I bring to you the top 10 series that most occurred during all those lists, just to find what ones continually impress the heck out of me enough to make the top 10.

And as a bonus, I will even attempt to write up my own personal top 10 list, and see how they compare. So let’s get to it!

*Note that I will be separating some series, such as Mega Man and Mega Man X, as well as the dozens of Mario series like Mario Kart, Mario & Luigi, and Paper Mario.*

As usual with these lists, there are an abundance of ties here…so much so that every game in a series (that I am aware of) will appear on this list, so dig in folks.

#10 A lot

The following games had one game from their series’ appear on my list…

Joe & Mac

Super Mario Maker

Bayonetta

Xeno

Uncharted

Star Wars Battlefront

Dragon Ball Z

Call of Duty

Mega Man Legends

Transformers: War For…

No One Lives Forever

Darksiders

StarCraft

Shadow Warrior

Diablo

Red Faction

Banjo-Kazooie

Golden Axe

Golden Sun

Fire Emblem

Project X Zone

Mario Tennis

Whew that’s a bunch!

#9 A Good Number

The next franchises had two games in their respective series’ makes my lists.

RayMan

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Final Fantasy

Star Wars: Jedi Knight

Star Fox

Kid Icarus

Viewtiful Joe

Pokemon

Wario

InFamous

#8 Just a Handful

These few had three games in their series’ make my lists.

Yoshi

Mario Kart

Resident Evil

Castlevania

God of War

New Super Mario Bros

#7 Just a Few

These had four…

Paper Mario

Mega Man

Mario & Luigi

Mega Man Zero (That’s the entire series!)

#6 A Couple

These two had 5 games from their series’.

Super Smash Bros

Kirby

#5 Two More

These appeared 6 times.

Mega Man X

Kingdom Hearts

Donkey Kong

#4 Metroid

Holy snowsers! We actually have a single game! Metroid has appeared seven times in my lists.

#3 Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic’s games made my lists 8 times!

#2 Super Mario

This massive series, the ones that start with Super Mario and are his mainline games, made my lists 10 times!

And the most occurring series of them all…

#1 The Legend of Zelda

This wonderful, long-running series trumps them all, with 13 of it’s games making my lists.

And as promised, I bring to you my actual top 10 series. This was pretty tough to do, but I think I’ve got a somewhat true list going on here.

#10 God of War

god of war series

This series redefined action gameplay. I haven’t played the newest one yet, but the rest have all been phenomenal and brutal.

#9 Super Mario

super mario series

This again is only for the game that start with “Super Mario.” Every single one of these games is fantastic, which is pretty amazing to say, given how many there are.

#8 Mario & Luigi

mario and luigi series

Not only are these my favorite RPG’s, thanks to their superbly creative attacks, story, and settings, but they are also hilarious and bizarre.

#7 Donkey Kong

donkey kong series

This is largely thanks to the incredible Donkey Kong Country trilogy on SNES. Those are some of the best platformers to ever come into existence.

#6 InFamous

infamous series

This has some of the most addicting and diverse gameplay, with tons of awesome powers and abilities, great stories and characters, and the best exploration I can think of.

#5 Metroid

metroid timeline

These games are intense, with tons of action, items/power-ups, and exploration to keep you entertained for hours.

#4 Paper Mario

paper mario characters

There is something about this series. They’ve got a certain feel to them that I can’t explain. But I love the stories, the characters, the humor and the gameplay, which nowadays is changed up in every game.

#3 The Legend of Zelda

zelda series

This series always has some charming feel or vibe to them as well. Each of these games are very different, and yet the same, and they are all amazing, with tons of clever items, dungeons and characters to make each second entertaining.

#2 Super Smash Bros

ssb

This series was a dream come true when it originated. Ever since, each game has gotten bigger and better, now by far the most enormous games ever made, with dozens of characters from every notable franchise, and even less notable ones, all duking it out on stages pulled from video game history.

#1 Kingdom Hearts

kh timeline

This series just happens to have my favorite storyline, characters, music, combat, and gameplay of all time. I hit the lottery with this one.

And there you have it. My personal list is a bit different than my other list, but that’s okay, all these games are great and worth noting.

Super Mario Collaboration: Super Mario 3D World

This post is part of the Super Mario Collaboration, a massive group of hundreds of writers from around the world all sharing their thoughts and memories of video games’ most famous character. This collab is hosted by thewellredmage.com.

Every now and then, something comes along that fulfills all your hopes and wishes, exceeds expectations, and simply impresses the heck out of you. Who am I kidding, by saying every now and then? The chances of something doing all those things is the equivalent of winning the Mega Millions. But Nintendo managed to do all that for me with the Wii U’s Super Mario 3D World. If happiness and enjoyment were wealth, I’d be living in a mansion on the beach of some place in the southern hemisphere. I would have preferred winning the Mega Millions, but you can’t win em’ all!

Super Mario World for the SNES is the first game I have sufficient memory of ever playing, and also happened to be my favorite Mario game for my entire life. I had given up hope that a Mario game would ever surpass it in my eyes. but there must be something about the word “World,” for at long last, after more than 20 years, I found a game that could topple SMW’s long standing dynasty.

sm3dw beach

SM3DW had me hooked from the first level, all the way to the last. The diverse and creative level design, the new and old power-ups, the bright, colorful graphics, everything about it is an addictive treat. But what I loved most was being able to play as multiple characters, all with unique characteristics. Not only that, but I hate choosing characters, so they were kind enough to put a random selector, so that each character would be a surprise for each level.

sm3d

sm3dw items

Among the huge world are plenty of secrets, which open up new worlds and items and the like, which makes every single second absolutely wonderful. The game even keeps track of what characters beat each level, which adds to the replay value immensely.

super-mario-3d-world-beginners-guide-power-up-list-infinite-lives

Playing through it just once though was enough to let me know I had come across solid gold. Suddenly, I was a four-year-old kid again, playing for the first time the SNES my grandmother bought me and my brothers for Christmas. And anything that can make me feel that young again has no choice but to be cherished.

super mario 3d world course clear


Wahoo! You are a Super Reader! But the adventure doesn’t stop here… There’s more of this project in another castle! This article is just one level in an entire Super Mario Multiverse, a galactic collaboration between writers around the world sharing a bit of our hearts and memories about our favorite Mario games. Visit the Center of the Multiverse to see more:

https://thewellredmage.com/2020/03/10/center-of-the-mario-multiverse/

smm_logo_FINAL_transparent

Three Things I’ve Learned About Humanity Thanks to Coronavirus

At this point in time, I believe this silly virus needs no introduction, so I’ll just get right to it.

Number One:

It is terrifying to see how completely unable we are at containing a virus. Imagine if this was actually something serious? Like a zombie virus or something with a high mortality rate? Most of the population would be completely wiped out…which honestly, is probably needed at this point anyway.

But due to the fact that everyone needs money, and our greedy bosses don’t allow us to use sick days, and all the day to day places we need to go spend money our hard-earned money at, the would never be under any type of quarantine or marshal law or simply a sick day used, or travel bans to stop the spread of disease.

Number Two:

This one I already kind of new, but maybe not to this proportion. How obsessive and easily swayed people are to the media.

People are freaking the hell out over this stupid thing. It’s not even that serious…like at all. But the media is hyping and exploding the whole thing way out of proportion, and the population is eating it up. Fearing this stupid virus will become a way of life soon enough, and all the while the media and medical distributors are going to keep feeding it to our mindless, hungry mouths, for they are profiting immensely off of these fears.

And this leads me to

Number Three:

People normally don’t use soap.

Everywhere you look, stores are running out of hand sanitizer, wipes, face masks, hand soap.

This tells me two things…people never clean themselves, or at least never wash their hands…which I would venture to say, for the hand-washing part, is true for at least 50% of people.

The other thing it tells me is people are incredibly stupid (and most of us are), and are setting themselves up for the long haul, getting cleaning materials to last them for years to safeguard them from this horrendous epidemic. But they will risk getting the virus so they can shop those good sales at the mall…as long as they use hand sanitizer after every time they touch something.

So thank you coronavirus for educating me further on what a pathetic species we are! Sounds to me like the flu is very similar, but we don’t cause an uproar over that. Maybe cuz it’s old news?

 

Kingdom Hearts III DLC: Ranking the 13 Limit Cut Bosses

The second chapter of the KH3 DLC is the “Limit Cut Episode,” one of the most difficult challenges in KH history.

In this episode, Riku is tasked with looking for Sora, so with the help of the Final Fantasy gang, they create data versions of Sora and the 13 darkness’, which thanks to Cid’s cynicality, are extremely murderous machines of pain and vengeance. (This isn’t 100% how it happens).

Thanks to these brutal bosses, I was forced to level to 99 (I was only 47) and get the Ultima Keyblade, two things I’ve never done before in any KH games. Once these two things are accomplished, only then can you stand a chance against such brutal bosses.

Fighting them at first seems like a grueling, unthinkable task, but as each boss falls beneath your keyblade, you feel an enormous sense of accomplishment, and then realize how expertly crafted each of them is.

At first, most of the bosses seem like an impossible entity that will slaughter you in seconds with their insanely over-the-top attacks and combos.

But as you continue the fight, you start to learn patterns and when they are vulnerable, and when to stay the heck away from them. So eventually, they seem not only beatable, but almost easy in a way!

I found myself slightly out of breath after each fight, for they are that intense, and I swear I had to morph my mind into a heightened sense of awareness to compete against these guys, which helped me defeat these tough cookies.

So for fun, I am going to rank them in order from easiest to hardest, in my opinion.

Note that I was playing this on Proud Mode…

 

XIII

Riku Replica

Dark_Riku_Limitcut_Kingdom_Hearts_III_Re_Mind

This one has some awesome attacks, but he is almost always open to attack himself. I beat him on my first try without any strategy at all, and didn’t even have to use a Kupo Coin. So he’s pretty darn easy, compared to the others.

XII

Vanitas

vanitas

Very similar to his fight in Birth by Sleep, this one seemed kind of familiar, except he’s harder here. He managed to kill me once, but that was because I was shocked at how easy he was and got a little reckless.

What makes him easy is most of his attacks or easily avoided, and he leaves himself open a lot, making him easy to wear down quickly.

XI

Larxene

larxene

This is the only other one beside Riku Replica that I beat on my first try, except I had to use my Kupo Coin. She has a lot of intense attacks, but being aggressive without forgetting to dodge and block every so often will net you an easy victory.

X

Marluxia

marluxia

His trick is a timer that will kill you if you don’t wear him down fast enough. Otherwise, he’s not too tough, and took me only two tries to beat, and that was probably because I didn’t know what the timer would do if it ran out, and may or may not have been a little curious.

IX

Xemnas

xemnas

He can be pretty intense, but there’s nothing that hung me up on him. I beat him in two or three tries, easily enough when I learned his attacks.

VIII

Ansem

ansem

He’s got some vicious attacks, but isn’t all that bad either once you get acclimated to him. He took me three tries to beat.

VII

Young Xehanort

young xehanort

I had a really hard time with him, but that is probably because he was the first one I fought, and wasn’t used to how intense these fights would be. He killed me a good many times before I realized there are actually patterns and strategies involved to be able to take these guys down.

VI

Xehanort

xehanort

For being the last boss, he isn’t too bad. I mean, he’s a beast, but after getting accustomed to his attacks, I found they are sort of easy to avoid and counter. He took me three tries.

V

Saix

saix

These last five bosses are the most intense, unholy devils of the universe. Saix took me probably around four tries, if not more. His berserk is a relentless waiting/dodging game of death, and patience isn’t my strong suit, which is why I struggled against him so much.

IV

Xigbar

xigbar

This guy is a beast. He keeps you at bay with his long range attacks, making this more of a defensive fight, waiting for those few opportune moments to get close and attack, again, which isn’t my style. He took me around six tries to beat.

III

Terra-Xehanort

terra xehanort

This lad has some truly vicious combos and attacks, many that are unblockable until the end of the onslaught, making dodging and then blocking at the right moments essential for victory. He’s a brutal dude who can kill you quickly if you’re not careful. He took me four tries to beat.

II

Luxord

luxord

This guy frustrated the heck out of me. He’s not hard really, but figuring out his little games certainly is, and then getting lucky enough to find him among the cards is always a chore. But once you figure out each of his attacks and develop a strategy, he’s kind of a pushover. Unfortunately that probably took me over 10 tries to figure out.

I

Xion

xion

This one is unlocked with Xehanort after beating the first 11, and she is a relentless bitch.

The first time I fought her, I got her down to one bar of health. Then she proceeded to murder me like 12 times. I gave up and beat her the next day on my first try.

Her attacks are very vicious, and getting hit by one of them opens you up to get hit by a ton more. Specific timing is required to block and counter her attacks, and you have a very short window to hit her.

She constantly gives herself armor too, which prevents you from harming her main health, and she can lower your max health down to nothing so you die in one hit. She’s definitely the toughest in my book.

 

So there you go. Playing through them is rough, and I don’t think I had much fun, until after I beat them. Then I realized how well-designed the fights were and how accomplished I felt, which made it all worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

Could Nintendo and Sega Be Gearing Up For A Fierce New “War?”

I can’t believe it. We have finally reached a time where video game movies are great!

What, with Detective Pikachu last year, and Sonic this year, and the likelihood of more movies from these and other franchises, we could be gearing up for a new war, but on a bigger screen now; a war reminiscent of the classic clash of the SNES and Genesis, when gaming was incredible for both companies, and video game movies were despicable.

And yes, I am saying the Sonic movie is actually quite good. It has jokes for all ages, and is really quite funny at times. The characters are all likeable, Jim Carey brings his classic acting back, and there are a few nice, and very subtle nods to various Sonic games.

I personally could have done with some more action, but it’s not really an action movie, so I guess it’s not what they were going for.

I highly recommend seeing it whether you are a Sonic fan or not. It’s good ol’ family fun!

I am excited to see if Nintendo and Sega will really try to outdo each other. We’ll have to see what the supposed Mario movie in the works has to offer!

sonic-vs-pikachu