Series Ranked: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic has been in the spotlight a lot the past few months, and especially now with the recent release of Sonic Mania, and for the first time in a long while, all the buzz about the speedster seems to be very positive. Sonic Mania is even being called by many to be the best Sonic game ever made…quite an impressive feat that no one thought would ever be said in modern times.

To celebrate Sonic’s good fortune, I am here to assemble a list of all Sonic’s games, from worst to best. And by all of them, I mean just the ones I own. There are an awful lot of Sonic games, I mean an awful lot, and I probably don’t even have half of them. I will not be including spin off games like the fantastic Sonic Spinball or Sonic and Sega’s All Star Racing. It’s about his main line games today…for the most part.

#22

Sonic The Hedgehog (PlayStation 3, 2006)

Times Beaten-1

 

This game had so much potential. New type of storyline, three awesome hedgehogs with their own campaigns, plus playable minor characters and beautiful level designs. But no…it turned out to be a disaster thanks to the development having been rushed, thus we all got stuck with an unfinished product. When you weren’t waiting for the game to load, you were getting game over after game over due to bugs and glitches, such as springs not bouncing you far enough and many other unavoidable death traps. I only beat this game on sheer luck of no glitches happening within a level. I always say, that if the developers were able to put the right amount of time into the game, it would have been one of Sonic’s finest games, not one of the worst.

#21

Sonic The Hedgehog (GameGear, 1991)

Times Beaten-1

 

This is basically a dumb downed, but different version of the original genesis game. It is very short, but fun. Not much else to say.

#20

Sonic Gems Collection (GameCube, 2005)

Sonic Gems Collection

This is a compilation of some of the crappier Sonic games. It comes with Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and a bunch of games on GameGear… Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball, Sonic The Hedgehog: Triple Trouble, Sonic Drift 2, Tails’ Skypatrol, and Tails Adventure. Though it’s not fair of me to say they are crappy. I only played 2 of them. I beat Sonic the Fighters which is pretty bad and I didn’t ever have time to beat Sonic CD in one sitting and the stage select is terrible, only allowing you to play part of a stage. Gems technically shouldn’t be on this list, but since I didn’t play most of the games here, I figured I’d throw it in as one, instead of listing them separately.

#19

Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s Cut (GameCube, 2003)

Times Beaten-0

 

This is an updated version of Sega’s ambitious, first 3D Sonic game. It isn’t very good, but it’s a somewhat well put together game. The variety of playable characters makes it diverse and interesting. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and that robot whose name I can’t remember have fine campaigns, but Amy walks unbearably slow, making her story miserable, and the last character, Biggs the Cat is just awful beyond description. Each level you just fish. I think fishing in real life is one of the most boring things a person could do, but it is much worse in a not so good game playing as a fat, retarded cat. I quit the game at this point, because I couldn’t catch the fish in the second or third level, and as far as I know, there is no trick, just wait and hope it bites…just like real fishing!

The coolest feature of this game is the Chao Garden, where you can raise little blue alien things and level them and evolve them into cooler little blue alien things. I never dabbled in this though, so I don’t know too much about it.

#18

Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii, 2007)

Times Beaten-1

 

This is another not so good game. Sonic had it rough in the beginning of this generation of consoles it would seem. But it was still an okay game I suppose. It is certainly playable in any case. It was also very different from previous games, so it had that sort of intrigue going for it. The best part about it is a very, very fun multiplayer party game that could rival the Mario Party series.

#17

Sonic 3D Blast (Genesis, 1996)

Times Beaten-1?

 

This was certainly a change of pace for the Sonic series. As the name implies, you are in a very ugly, confusing, 3D world. It is sometimes hard to land on enemies when you are trying to kill them, but besides that, it’s very fun, but not great.

#16

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood (DS, 2008)

Times Beaten-1

 

Sonic tries his hand at an RPG game, and I’ve gotta say, it’s not bad. I mean, it’s nothing spectacular, but you get a whole slew of playable characters, an interesting story, and  good use of the DS touchscreen to use special attacks. And I guess this would be sort of considered a spin off game now that I think about it. Oh well.

#15

Sonic and the Black Knight (Wii, 2009)

Times Beaten-1

 

If you ever wondered what all your favorite Sonic characters looked like clad in medieval armor and equipped with matching weapons, then this is the game for you. You even get to play as a bunch of them! It actually is pretty fun thanks to it’s unique qualities. There are a lot of awesome animated cut scenes as well. It has the same control scheme as The Secret Rings, but a bit easier to use. I would recommend this to anyone who hasn’t played it.

#14

Sonic Unleashed (Wii, 2008)

Times Beaten-1

 

You know, making this list has made me realize one thing. Sega really has gone all out in creating new ways to play Sonic, and I must give them huge respect for that. Most of their games are entirely different and completely unique, and whether they are good or not, it is fun just to experience something new.

Sonic Unleashed is no exception, and this one is literally split down the middle between good and bad. The game has two main gameplay styles. The first is running, mostly side scrolling, high speed sections as normal Sonic that are amazing and incredibly fun. It might be the best Sonic gameplay up to the point of this release. It’s that good. Then you turn into a werehog and punch the crap out of things. This kills the flow of the game and is a bit boring and repetitive. Not a bad game overall, though nothing remarkable.

#13

Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode I

(Wii, PlayStation 3, 2010)

Times Beaten-Once for each console

 

When they announced a continuation of the Genesis titles, picking up where Sonic 3 & Knuckles left off, it was some of the greatest news I have ever heard in my life. When I played it, it was a major disappointment. It did not have the feel of the old games at all. The controls and handling weren’t the same, and the game seemed to lack the speed and fun of the games it was trying to impersonate. And it was shorter than most of them. A total regression, though it was still enjoyable overall.

#12

Sonic Rush (DS, 2005)

Times Beaten-1

 

This was Sonic’s first adventure on DS and what a thrill it was. Lots of great, high speed, side scrolling action and a new character to play as. Lot of fun, with great music. This is the way Sonic should be.

#11

Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode II (PlayStation 3, 2012)

Times Beaten-1

 

Sega seemed to put a lot more effort into this game than episode 1. It is way better, and we had our old buddy Tails tailing us again. It was a bit longer of a game I believe too, and if you had both episodes, you unlocked a short campaign where you play as Metal Sonic. A very enjoyable game, though it’s feel and control scheme was still that of Episode I.

#10

Sonic: Lost World (Wii U, 2013)

Times Beaten-1

 

This game was sort of reminiscent of Super Mario Galaxy for you could jump and walk around all sorts of floating lands and the like. It had a nice mix of 3D and 2D gameplay and both styles are fun. There are some very funny moments in the story; one line made me laugh hysterically. The game is a bit too easy, but quite enjoyable nonetheless. Yet another unique experience for the blue blur.

#9

Sonic Colors (Wii, 2010)

Times Beaten-1

 

When this came out, it was the first undisputed good 3D Sonic game to come out in years. Sticking to mostly 2D gameplay with plenty of speed parts and slower platforming parts, it is a joy to play from beginning to end. The Wisp power ups are diverse and fun to use, and the whole carnival in space setting is quite awesome.

#8

Sonic The Hedgehog Chaos (GameGear, 1993)

Times Beaten-0

 

Okay, this one might not really deserve to be this high up. I haven’t played it in 20 years. My cousin had it and I used to play it all the time. I don’t remember if I beat it ever, I don’t think so. But I remember loving it. Every level was so much fun. This was the best handheld Sonic game I ever played and still is. I think…

#7

Sonic Generations (3DS, 2011)

Times Beaten-1

 

The modern handheld Sonic meets up with old school Sonic to save the world. You get to race through levels of old, as well as levels from more recent handheld games. It is a lot of fun, taking the best of both genres and mashing them into one incredible game.

#6

Sonic Generations (PlayStation 3, 2011)

Times Beaten-1

I know this is technically the same game, but it is not at all. The story is the same. Modern Sonic and old Sonic team up. But this time it is the modern Sonic from home consoles and you play through different levels than the 3DS version, taking them from console Sonic games and different Genesis games instead. It is a truly great game that plays and feels like the Genesis games when playing as old Sonic, something Sonic 4 failed miserably at. The 3D Sonic levels are remastered and some of the most fun you’ll ever have playing a 3D Sonic game.

#5

Sonic The Hedgehog (Genesis, 1991)

Times Beaten-Around 5-10

The game that started it all. It was an amazing game when it first came out, and still is today. This is some of the finest platforming you will ever come by, as well as some of the best music.

#4

Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (Genesis, 1992)

Times Beaten-Around 10

This I believe is the first Genesis game I ever played. It took everything amazing about the first game and simply made it better, adding a few multiplayer modes, a new character, better graphics and the ever so helpful Super Spin Dash. A true classic right here.

#3

Sonic The Hedgehog 3 (Genesis, 1994)

Times Beaten-Around 10

This took everything amazing about the second game and made it better even further. A true masterpiece.

#2

Sonic & Knuckles (Genesis, 1994)

Times Beaten-2 or 3

As a very young child, I probably played this one the most, but could never come close to beating it. I finally did for the first time probably as an early teenager. This game had the most fun and creative levels, some of the best music, the best cover art, best boss fights and the best addition ever, Knuckles. He has different abilities than Sonic and Tails, which makes for some more fun gameplay. He is way cooler than Sonic and Tails and was my favorite character in the franchise until Shadow came along, which ironically, I always wanted to see a black Sonic ever since I saw the cover art of this game.

This game coincides with Sonic 3, for they were meant to be one game, but was much too big. So instead they made Sonic &  Knuckles the coolest cartridge ever and made it so you can connect Sonic 2 & 3 into the top to allow you to play Knuckles in those games. This game also had a very good storyline for a completely nonverbal game.

 

And the best Sonic game is…

#1

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (GameCube, 2002)

Times Beaten-Hard To Say

 

This game is incredible. A good story told out through 2 campaigns with 3 playable characters in each campaign, each with unique missions to complete. On top of that was the fact that each level had 5 Sonic Emblems to earn by completing various challenges, which gave huge replay value to the game.

A whole slew of awesome upgrades to each character enhanced the gameplay a lot, as well as the new, intriguing characters added to the game. The gameplay is a lot of fun for each character as you travel through amazingly designed stages with awesome music. Each character even has their own style of music for each of their levels.

There is some fun multiplayer too, though nothing mind blowing.

The most time consuming thing is the Chao Garderns. Unlike the first game, I put hours upon hours into growing my Chaos. It is so addictive. I never got bored of replaying the levels to find power-ups for the lil’ buggers. When you beefed them up enough, there are countless events they can participate in against other very strong Chaos. It’s fun. I couldn’t stop playing this game. But eventually a busier lifestyle and new systems and games to play forced me to put a stop to it. If I didn’t have a massive backlog of games, you can bet I would go back to this game.

The reason I say “hard to say” next to Times Beaten is because I’ve played through each level countless times, though only did the full story mode twice.

 

And that’s it! I have a handful of Sonic games in my aforementioned backlog, so I will update this list as I get to them. Who knows what the future will hold for Sonic, but for right now, it looks pretty good.

sonic forces

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dragon Ball Xenoverse: One of the Most Overrated Games Ever

There are always a few games a year that everyone absolutely raves about, swearing they are the best games ever made and all that.

I never pay attention to reviews or fan feedback, because a lot of it is nitpicking or unworthy praise or something, so it is very rare that I will buy a game based off of just global praise alone. I like to be the judge of a game, simply by seeing if it looks fun. On those rare occasions when I do buy a game (on sale, of course) that the world united on praising, I have found that 99% of these games are quite mediocre, which makes me feel that I am looking for something much more different than the regular gaming community. But don’t get me wrong, some games can be overrated and still be amazing, The Last of Us, for example. I would give this game a 10/10, but for years I heard it was easily the best game ever made, which to me, it is far, far from that.

nappa getting punched

So where does Dragon Ball Xenoverse fit in to all this; as a great, yet overrated game, or a pile of mediocrity? For starters, know that I did not buy this game because the world was calling it “the best Dragon Ball game ever made!” I bought it because I absolutely love the Dragon Ball franchise and this was a new and exciting twist for the game.

And after playing it, here is my conclusion…

It is one of the worst Dragon Ball games I have ever played. It is not the worst, but probably in the top 5 worst ones. Like, I can’t see why anyone even likes this game. It is so boring and seems to go on forever. I was miserable practically the entire time I played it.

So why do I hate it so much? Where do I begin?

For starters, when I bought it, I got the game and season pass on sale for $20 on the PlayStation Store. So when I went to access the DLC, it wouldn’t work, or rather, it didn’t show up, claiming I never bought it. After literally 45 minutes of research on the internet, I found that the DLC was a major glitch, and then I had to look up how to install it, which involved a whole lot of messing around with settings and such on my PS4 and then re-downloading it.  I am not very tech savvy, so I would never have figured that out on my own, and I am willing to bet 95% of everyone else would not have either. So that’s a huge strike for me right there. But since it has nothing to do with the gameplay itself, then it’s sort of forgivable.

That is until we get to the actual game. For starters, it takes like 30 seconds to connect to the server to be able to even play the game. This is really great, since I only want to play single player.

connecting to server
Get used to looking at this…

You start out in some hub town place, which is far too big and your characters walk too slow. All the places you would want to visit regularly are all spaced out as far as possible from each other, so that it takes like 3 minutes of walking just to reach a destination. You are a super powered being! Why can’t you just have the option of quickly flying around!?

hub area
Ugh…Why can’t I fly?

When you finally are able to start a mission, it brings you to the character select screen. Aside from having a very tiny selection of characters compared to previous Dragon Ball games, I have another annoying observation. There needs to be a confirm button after selecting your characters! Typically, you get to pick your character and then 2 others to fight along side you. But so many times I end up choosing the wrong character and then it goes into the match immediately. There should be a “Use These Characters?” box that allows you to pick yes or no. And I usually end up picking the wrong character because the selection thing moves so stinking slow that I always end up pressing the select button before the right character is lit up.

Now that we finally get in the game with the right characters, it turns out to not be worth the trouble at all.

The gameplay is so boring. All you do is throw punches, which send your opponents flying, then you have to chase after them, and repeat over and over again, until you discover a combo that doesn’t send them flying away. So you just do this combo over and over until your energy is charged up, then unleash your special attack to do a decent bit of damage. This is okay in the early parts of the game, but eventually the opponents have so much health that it becomes a very dull chore. I’d rather dust every house on my street then sit through this game again!

dbx gp

But the fights aren’t that easy! So there’s a lot of frustration mixed up in that dull wearing down of health!

For starters, let’s talk about blocking. It’s atrocious. Your character has to come to a complete stop for like 2 whole seconds before you can block. That might not seem like much, but when you’re in a high speed match against 2 or 3 opponents, it’s a friggin’ eternity. But the computer players, they can block whenever they desire. It’s so lovely to watch them do things you can’t.

And speaking of doing things you can’t, some enemies just use their ultimate attacks like 5 times in a row, over and over again. SS Trunks and SS Vegeta seem to do this the most often, though I’ve since learned that this is a special Saiyan ability or something, that for a limited time they can spam the hell out of attacks that will kill you if hit by two of them. Saiyan ability or not, this should not be in the game. That gives them an enormous advantage and messes up the balance of the game.

Another thing the computers seem quite adept at doing is hitting you with beam attacks. Unless you add the beam attack in the middle of a combo, you will most likely miss 8 out of 10 attempts. But the computers will hit 7 out of 10 and this is because they can somehow change direction mid attack. They can bullseye you with a Kamehameha Wave like it’s their business, because they change direction right as they fire it. But as the player, that is the worst, most useless attack in the game, for you will always miss. And no, you can’t change any direction while shooting it.

Dragon-Ball-Xenoverse-07

And on top of that, they do not flinch when you punch them while they are charging up to do an energy attack, but one punch of a small ki blast will knock you out if you are doing the same.

And speaking of ki blasts, you have the ability to shoot many quick ki blasts at a time, and oh my God, this is the most annoying thing in the world! You can shoot these all day at the computers, and if they hit them, which seems to be a 50/50 chance, it won’t have much effect usually, but man if you get hit, they will stop you dead in your tracks. And the computers use this constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY!!! It would be easier to push through a speeding train in real life than get through these ki blasts.

And you know what else they use constantly? There are abilities that, if you have enough energy, will blow away all nearby opponents in one way or another. So if you manage to make it past the barrage of ki blasts, it’s only so you can then get blown away by these special attacks. And then you start all over with the ki blasts. So annoying. They overuse this ability like crazy!

But chances are you will never even get to this point, because you will never be facing your opponent. You can lock on to someone, and you would think that they would automatically direct their punches at that person. Nope. You always have to manually turn your character to face your opponent, which is really awkward, especially when you are getting attacked by multiple enemies and can’t see anything. It’s annoying and stupid. Countless times I found myself punching at air because my opponent was behind me.

This is the last complaint, though I probably have more that I can’t think of right now, and it is simply that the difficulty increases way too fast. The first few missions are simple. You could win with your eyes closed, but then all of a sudden, it’s like you are playing against pros, and you haven’t even fully learned the controls yet. And it just gets harder and harder from there.

Bottom line, the game is boring and frustrating and is definitely not the best DB game ever made! It is not even a good game! I’ll stick with the Budakai and Tenkaichi trilogies. They are much, much, much better.

It warms my soul however, to hear that nobody really likes the sequel, for it is EXACTLY THE SAME GAME! What A-hole developers! God dang it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNES Classic Is A Disappointment/Predictions for N64 Classic

This is just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong. The idea is wonderful. A miniature retro console packed with the best games to be released on it, all in HD and for an affordable price? It is amazing!

But it really is only amazing for people who missed out on these consoles. People who already owned the NES and SNES aren’t really missing out on much. And many of you may think, “and that is exactly who it is marketed towards, people who missed it…” You are right, but I have a feeling it is even more so towards those who have nostalgic feelings towards the consoles, who want to relive their youths. And to that I say  to Nintendo-Stop profiting off our childhoods!! We already gave you enough!!

Nonetheless…If they weren’t so rare, they would be something great that I would probably pick up whenever the price fell.

But everybody knows the NES Classic sold out immediately and if you want one, your likely going to pay 10 times the price.

But anyway, that is not what I want to talk about.

nes-classic-edition-box.png

First off, let me talk about my feelings for the NES Classic. When they first announced it, I was really excited. I had to have one.

And then I realized something within a few seconds. 30 games for the NES! Oh wait, I probably already have most of them, and I really don’t like most games on NES anyways.

Turns out, this was accurate. They put every game worth having on NES on it, but I, and everyone else who has owned an NES or virtual console probably already has them. I owned all the games except 6 or 7 of them already, and some of them I had multiples of through various systems and re-releases and the like. The handful I was missing, I had no interest in ever playing, so I immediately stopped wanting one, and thank God for that, since they are impossible to get a hold of.

But what I am really trying to say here, is that, $60 for 30 quality games is amazing. The limited supply for a limited time approach…why? That’s a dumb move.

But I, like most people, were already wondering if they were going to make an SNES Classic, one of my favorite consoles of all time. I was even more excited when they confirmed it compared to the NES Classic, but again, immediately realized I already have everything on the system worth having…for the most part.

And now we come to the part where I describe why the SNES Classic is so disappointing.

IT IS 20 DOLLARS MORE EXPENSIVE AND HAS 9 GAMES LESS!

Like… what the hell? You can’t tell me that porting all these games onto this little system cost so much more. They are still 25 year old games and not really worth all that. Though, really, again, the price is still pretty fair. But not compared to it’s predecessor. They are not that much more advanced that they need cost so much more.

And price figures aside, why couldn’t they just make it an even 30 games? There are so many worthy titles on that system. What the heck? I bet you they are going to make some bull crap DLC to fill in the 9 missing spots for another $20.

Super_Metroid_Mother_Brain_tank.png

But anyway, if you don’t know, here are the 21 games.

  1. Contra III: The Alien Wars
  2. Donkey Kong Country
  3. EarthBound
  4. Final Fantasy III
  5. F-Zero
  6. Kirby Super Star
  7. Kirby’s Dream Course
  8. The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Pastcastlevania4-spot2.png
  9. Mega Man X
  10. Secret Of Mana
  11. Star Fox
  12. Star Fox 2
  13. Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
  14. Super Castlevania IV
  15. Super Ghouls n’ Ghosts
  16. Super Mario Kart
  17. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
  18. Super Mario World
  19. Super Metroid
  20. Super Punch-Out
  21. Yoshi’s Island

So there’s the line up, and it is an impressive one without a doubt. But some of these are ridiculous choices over some others, though I can see why they would want to vary up the selection a bit.

And again, I have all but 4, but I already have Street Fighter II in 2 or 3 other forms, used to own Secret of Mana, and Star Fox 2 has never been released. So really, Contra is the only one I missed and have no interest in playing.

So again, this is a wonderful, wonderful idea for any younger people who may have missed out on this glorious age of gaming.

But here’s what the other 9 should be, to really embrace the system. For starters, Super Mario World should be replaced with Super Mario All Stars + Super Mario World.

22. Chrono Triggerchrono triiger

23. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest

24. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble

25. Illusion Of Gaia

26. Mega Man X2

27. Mega Man X3mm7

28. Mega Man 7

29. Final Fantasy II

30. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time

There you go! A nice even 30! Though who knows? Licensing and copyrights and all that could prevent a lot of this, and they probably didn’t want to put entire series like Mega Man and Donkey Kong on it.

But this leads me to my next question. Do these mini consoles spell the end for Virtual Console? I feel like this is directly competing with it. Switch does not have it yet, so does this mean it is no longer? Is is just going to be that subscription they talked about where you can stream games? I hope not, personally.

But anyway, yeah, not happy with the decisions behind the SNES Classic overall. And there is evidence now of an N64 Classic coming next year. Those are much bigger games, so I expect that it will cost $100 for 15 games.

I’ll even predict them for you.

  1. Diddy Kong RacingF-Zero_X_(USA)-1
  2. Donkey Kong 64
  3. F-Zero X
  4. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
  5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  6. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  7. Mario Kart 64
  8. Mario Party 2
  9. Mario Tennis
  10. Paper MarioPokemon_Stadium_(Europe)-3
  11. Pokemon Stadium
  12. Star Fox 64
  13. Super Mario 64
  14. Super Smash Bros
  15. Wave Race 64

If that is accurate, I have all but 4 again, and used to own one of those four…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 2)

Welcome back to the tournament of impossibly hot women, where we will find in the end who the hottest woman on the planet is!

Catch up by checking out the links here.

And now… on with the next hotties.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Elizabeth Hurley

First up is Sara Jean Underwood, who as far as I know, has contributed mainly just her body to the fine folks of Earth. And really, that is the best gift she could offer. As a PlayBoy model, there is literally no shortage of jaw dropping pictures of this woman. So here, check them out, or rather, check her out.

 

 

 

Oh my goodness gracious. If you didn’t notice, this woman is a flawless beauty. Her toned body, nice ASSets and breast, combined with her blond hair and gorgeous face make her something to be desired…for all eternity. Knowing you live on the same planet as this woman and not getting to be with her, let alone see her, is literally Hell on Earth.

Well we saw the gorgeous youthful blond, but what about the older, yet unwavering beauty of the brunette, Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s check out how she’s doing!

 

 

 

Age has done nothing to slow this woman down, as far as her looks are concerned. She is almost every bit as hot now as she was 20-30 years ago. And for a woman in her 50’s, that makes her about 10x hotter right there. She is a goddess in her own right, and we should all bow to her beauty.

So which of these two women is the hottest? The younger blond, or the more mature brunette. As much as I don’t want to say this, it is this one, no contest.

Victor

sara jean underwood cover

Sara Jean Underwood

But seriously though. Elizabeth Hurley…super freakin’ hot…like… it’s baffling.

 

Next up is another brunette and blond!

 

 

Kim Kardashian

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Starting off with Kim, you might have noticed that she has an amazing body from the picture above, or of the tons of bikini photos of her from Round 1.

There is no shortage of hot photos of her, since she basically makes a living off of being hot. So let’s take a look at some of her work, shall we?

 

No matter what she is wearing, what she is doing, from modeling to walking down the street, this sexy woman looks fabulous. She is always picture ready, as evidenced here. Though anything that shows off that amazing body is always preferred.

To add to her appeal, she loves costumes, which is just sexy as hell.

 

Just smokin’ all the time. God dang.

In contrast to Kim’s dark sexiness is the shining beauty of Allie.

 

 

Unfortunately there aren’t quite as many pictures of her, which is a shame, because she is just gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to wear anything sexy for her to catch your eye. Her long, bright blond hair and innocent, beautiful face could easily do that. But if you do see her scantily clad, that’s all the better, for her body is perfection. She has such amazing curves on top of having a nice butt and boobs and well… having a nice everything.

If Angels are real things, then Allie DeBerry is certainly one of them. She just looks so beautiful, yet so untouchably good, that it would be a sin to lay hands on her divine body. But that is something no one could resist doing I imagine. So maybe she is more the apple in the Garden of Eden than an angel.

So both women here are absolutely stunning, with or without clothing. But who is the hotter one? This is a tough choice, but it will have to go to…

Victor

allie deberry skirt and bra on beach

Alexandria DeBerry

Look at that. She took down Kim and her half sister. That is something not many people can say. Especially when pertaining to straight looks.

 

Well there you have it. The four hottest women on Earth are about to battle it out in the semi finals! Make sure to check it out!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 4)

Welcome to the final part of Round 1, where the last four ladies will face off! Check out parts 1, 2 and 3 to catch yourself up and to check out some more impossibly hot women.

Now without further ado, we go!

 

Brooklyn Decker

VS

Kim Kardashian

All right, let’s start off with Brooklyn, the inhumanly hot blond. I first discovered her in the movie Just Go With It. For anyone who has seen this movie, they know that she is the star of it. And that is simply because she is so stinkin’ amazingly gorgeous in it. She looks amazing in every scene, and with her humongous boobs and perfect figure, your eyes are drawn to her like the tractor beam from the Death Star. Except you wish you could be pulled inside her and I promise you would never want to escape. Her allure in that movie is increased 10fold because she seems to be in a bikini half of it, which is a gift from the heavens for sure, for this girl’s body is meant to be in a bikini and nothing but, except for nothing…butt…

Just Go With It was her first film, so upon some research, I discovered that I was not the only one who felt that her body belonged in a scanty swimsuit. Assuming these pictures are all before this movie, it turns out she had a career in modeling such beachwear. Sports Illustrated seemed to have a keen interest in her, alongside every male on the planet. She was even a cover girl! Now… prepare to be amazed…

 

So yeah, she is perfect. Her barely containable breasts combined with that flawless, sexy figure is enough to make her the source of every person on Earth’s dreams. Seriously, this woman is the body all bikinis are made for. No one looks as good as her in one.

Next up we have Kim Kardashian, as much as I hate to say it. I hate everything about the Kardashians, except their looks. My God, those five girls are truly attractive people. In fact if this was a bigger line up of women, there would probably be a spot for all 5 of them at some point. But we are here to focus on the most famous sister, Kim.

She’s famous for having a sex tape, which should automatically make you know this woman is hot. But that is not how I discovered her. I found out about her through magazine covers. When I worked in a supermarket, the magazine racks were by the registers, and as I walked by, I would always catch glimpses of the headlines and all the useless crap that I am baffled people care about when it comes to celebrities and all that.

For years and years, the cover was always about Brad Pitt and impossibly hot Angelina Jolie. Dumb crap detailing every uninteresting nook of their lives. But then someone started to break that trend. Some brunette started showing up on a different cover every week, in a different colored bikini, on a different beach.

I had no idea who she was, and I never looked for a name. My eyes were too busy staring at the incredibly hot woman on the cover. It wasn’t for like a year after weekly bikini shots that I learned her name…Kim Kardashian. Back then it sounded sexy. Now that last name makes me cringe.

Anyway, remember when I just said Brooklyn Decker is the body made for bikinis, that no one could look better in one than her?

Well my friends, I think she’s got a rival. She didn’t get on all those covers for nothing.

 

Holy Molie! This beauty has a perfect hourglass figure, huge boobs and a big ol’ butt. Her boobs might be a bit smaller than Brooklyn’s but those small pieces of cloth still struggle to hold those babies in. My goodness, this women too was born to wear a bikini. Seriously, I can’t get over how good she looks…

Both of these women’s careers seem to be based off of looking hot, so the ultimate question is, which is hotter? Which wears the bikini better?

While both are perfect specimens of the human body, this woman is just a tad hotter.

 

Victor

Kim K

Kim Kardashian

Though for the record, Brooklyn looks better in a bikini, but Kim is just all around hotter.

And now we have the last two women to finish off Round 1!

Kendell Jenner

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Dang, what hotties to finish off this round!!

To start, remember when I said that Kim Kardashian and her sisters are all extremely hot? Well, Kendell is hot enough to compete with Kim for a chance to be crowned the most impossibly hot woman of all time!

I don’t really know how I came to know of her. As far as I know, she became famous for being Kim’s sister. But I distinctly remember officially becoming aware of her when I saw this picture…Kendell Jenner Perfect Body selfie

I instantly became infatuated with her. That body is as perfect as they come. For a girl whose entire family makes a living by taking hot pictures of themselves, you couldn’t ask for a better body to do so than this one. Simply put, it is draw dropping. Add that to the fact that she has a gorgeous face, and you’ve got an impossibly hot woman on your hands.

But don’t take my word for it!

 

Her stature and expression hint at a sweet little cutie and at the same time, a sexy, experimental, fearless hottie. And that is big points baby!! While her small breasts don’t give her the bikini body that her sister has, she unmistakably has a better body in general.

The final girl we have to talk about is the amazingly beautiful Allie DeBerry. I discovered her from a show called A.N.T. Farm. She played the dimwitted sidekick of the most beautiful and popular girl in school.

allie deberry ant farm
Allie’s the one of the left

The ironic part about this is that, while they both look great in cheerleader uniforms, Allie is far hotter, what with her tall, slender body, beautiful face and long hair, the other girl could never dream of being as good looking. And I seriously doubt she could compete with Allie wearing these “clothes”.

Oh my God!!! This girl has an hourglass figure like I have never seen before. She has “it” in all the right places, and I just love that super long hair. It goes so well with her tall, sexy body.

allie deberry bikini

I mean, just look at it. She is ridiculously hot. Definitely not of this world. And literally every inch of her has this perfect, toned, muscly hotness to her, as if her skeletal structure is perfect as well, beyond that of anyone else on Earth. Her shoulders, her elbows, her…everything, just seems so different and so hot. Again…not of this Earth. It is like God himself chiseled here out of a fleshy slab to show the world what a woman should look like.

So both girls have perfect bodies, a sexy aura about them, and look totally sweet and sexy. Which is hotter then? Despite how good they both look, this is a no contest bout.

Victor

alexandria-deberry-is-a-former_t31e49c2d

Alexandria DeBerry

I wish Kendell managed to beat her, for it would have been interesting for her to face off with Kim…oh well…

There you have it. The advancing 8 impossibly hot women have been decided! See you in Round 2!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, A Great e3!!!

The last 2 or three e3’s have been more or less disappointing. But at long last, this year was different!

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The first conference I saw was Ubisoft, and they had lots of exciting announcements, most notable the Mario/Rabids crossover known as Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, which looks awesome, and the completely unique game Skull & Bones. Fans of the Assassin’s Creed series will be excited for the new Egypt based game. See it all here.

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Next up was Sony. There conference was great because there was hardly any talking and they just played trailer after trailer, which makes me wish they just made a video like Nintendo to keep the flow going better.

But anyway, they basically showed the same games they showed at last years e3, but with much longer trailers/gameplay. And this was fine with me, for they showcased a lot of great looking games, most notable for me was Days Gone and the PS4 exclusive Spider-Man. I can’t wait to play those two games! Check it all out here.

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But the most amazing part about e3 by far was Nintendo’s “Spotlight” video presentation. Anyone who said the Switch doesn’t have a lot of software has now been proven wrong. They announced a whole slew of new titles for both this year and next, guaranteeing two years of great games. Yoshi, Kirby, Metroid, Mario will all be making appearances, to name a few. You can check out everything in detail here.

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They are the only ones I saw in detail, but Microsoft revealed a few new games and the brand spanking new, powerful consoles Xbox One X. You can watch the conference here.

It was a great showcase, and I am very excited to be a gamer right now.

DC Comics/LEGO are the Biggest Criminals Ever…

So a while back I was in Walmart and passed by the LEGO aisle and there set up on display was a LEGO Batman: The Movie LEGO set.

REALLY?

So LEGO is selling a LEGO set based off of a movie that is based off of a couple video games that are based off of LEGO sets that are based off of various movies and TV shows that are based off of comic books.

Damn!!! That is a lot of money out of our pockets, if you happen to purchase all this stuff, which I imagine only supreme Batman lovers do.

Tournament Of Hotties: Power Rangers Villains, Round 4 (Finals)

Welcome to the finals of the Power Rangers Villains tournament. You can catch up on the rest of the tournament, and even one for all the female rangers via the links listed here.

Now we have two lovely ladies waiting to go head to head (I wish), so without further ado, here we go!

Vypra (LightSpeed Rescue)

I’m not even going to say anything. I’ve already spoke about how amazing and hot everything about her is. Here, just stare at her gorgeous body.

What a babe…

 

Tenaya (RPM)

Observe…

Phew. Which is these gorgeous women is hotter?

 

It’s a close one.

Vypra has a far more revealing and sexy costume. Tenaya is not revealing, but still incredibly sexy. Both women have perfect bodies, and though Vypra’s actress seems to only flaunt it on Power Rangers, we can see that Tenaya’s actress looks amazing in everything she wears. Both women have your eyes glued to them whenever they are on screen, roaming every inch of their bodies. But honestly, I would have to say that Tenaya is a bit hotter. Vypra wins best costume, but Tenaya is just so much more alluring and sexy, from the way she acts and walks, to the way she talks. Her deep confused personal struggle makes you really like her too.

So sorry, Vypra, you have one amazing body and your beautiful, but you fall just a little short!

Winner-Tenaya

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Congratulations Tenaya, you’ve earned it!!

And now as a bonus, I will rank all the Power Rangers Villains from least hot to hottest for the sheer fun of it. It’s neat to see how it matches up with the tournament. The round in parentheses is how far they made it in the tournament.

So here they are…

#15 Rita Repulsa (Round 1)

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#14 Marah (Round 1)

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#13 Toxica (Round 1)

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#12 Kapri (Round 2)

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#11 Elsa (Round 1)

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#10 Morgana (Semi-Finalist)

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#9 Scorpina (Round 2)

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#8 Trakeena (Round 1)

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#7Nadira (Round 2)

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#6 Divatox (Round 1)

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#5 Astronema (Semi-Finalist)

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#4 Vypra (Runner Up)

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#3 Miratrix (Round 1)

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#2 Camille (Round 2)

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#1 Tenaya (Winner)

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Well there you have it! Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Console Wars: The Ultimate Winner

Well I can’t think of anything fun to make a console war about, so I guess it is finally time to end my Console War series. Today I will be simply adding up all the place numbers for each console throughout every one of my posts in the series. Then I will rank them from highest number to lowest number, the lowest number meaning the best ranked sum. So like golf basically.

This is no game, this will really see what is the greatest console of all time, as far as being ranked by abstract things are concerned anyway.  I will be writing a number after each console name. This number reflects its total score from all the other wars I’ve done.Well here they are, the 22 biggest consoles ever made, in ranking order from worst to best.

#22 Atari 5200-94

Top 10 Appearances-0

Best Rank-12th

Worst Rank-21st

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This is the worst console ever, but only out of the best 22, so that’s at least one good thing to say about it. It’s name was ranked 19th, controller 21st, appearance 21st, game 21st, and price 12th.

#21 Atari 2600-83

Top 10 Appearances-1

Best Rank-8th

Worst Rank-22nd

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The oldest console on the list. It’s name ranked 15th, controller 19th, appearance 22nd, game 19th, and price 8th.

#20 Atari 7800-80

Top 10 Appearances-1 (Price Champion)

Best Rank-1st

Worst Rank-21st

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Rough time for Atari, though it’s age and the market of video games during that age make these consoles really not stand a chance compared to today. It’s name ranked 21st, controller 20th, appearance 18th, game 20th and price 1st. Let’s hear it for the lowest priced console! That is something this one should be proud of!

#19 Sega Saturn-69

Top 10 Appearances-1

Best Rank-8th

Worst Rank-20th

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Widely considered Sega’s biggest failure. It’s name ranked 8th, controller 13th, appearance 10th, game 18th and price 20th.

#18 Atari Jaguar-66

Top 10 Appearances-1

Best Rank-9th

Worst Rank-22nd

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Atari’s last console and highest ranked console. It’s name ranked 9th, controller 22nd, appearance 11th, game 13th and price 11th.

#17 Sega Master System-63

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-7th

Worst Rank-17th

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Sega’s first console. It’s named ranked 7th, controller 17th, appearance 16th, game 14th and price 9th.

#16 Xbox One-62

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-3rd

Worst Rank-21st

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Microsoft’s latest console is the first to appear on this list, just one point ahead of the SMS. It’s name is ranked 16th, controller 7th, appearance 3rd, game 15th, and price 21st.

#15 PlayStation-61

Top 10 Appearances-2 (Name Champion)

Best Rank-1st

Worst Rank-20th

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Sony’s first console is the first to appear on the list, just one point ahead of the XB1. Close competition! It’s name ranked 1st, controller 15th, appearance 20th, game 9th, and price 16th.

The next two consoles are tied. I will instead choose their rankings by how many top 10 appearances they’ve had, the one with more getting a better spot on this list obviously.

#14 PlayStation 2-60

Top 10 Appearances-1

Best Rank-7th

Worst Rank-15th

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Following right after its big brother, the PS2’s name ranked 12th, controller 11th, appearance 15th, game 7th and price 15th.

#13 Nintendo Entertainment System-60

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-4th

Worst Rank-17th

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Just barely scraping the 13th spot after the PS2 is Nintendo’s first major console and first on this list. The NES’ name ranked 4th, controller 16th, appearance 17th, game 16th and price 7th. It’s 2 top 10 ranks over the PS2’s 1 give it the better spot.

#12 PlayStation 4-55

Top 10 Appearances-3

Best Rank-3rd

Worst Rank-20th

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Sony’s latest console’s total score breaks the close 1 point difference cycle that seemed to develop for the last few consoles. It’s name ranked 20th, controller 5th, appearance 8th, game 3rd and price 19th.

The next three consoles are tied. I ranked them by most top 10 appearances.

#11 Sega Genesis-54

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-2nd

Worst Rank-18th

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Sega’s second console is the third to appear on the list so far. It only beat the next ranked console in two wars out of the five, which is why it is the worst ranked out of the three. It’s name ranked 5th, controller 18th, appearance 12th, game 17th, and price 2nd.

 

#10 PlayStation 3-54

Top 10 Appearances-3 (Appearance Champion)

Best Rank-1st

Worst Rank-22nd

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Sony’s third console ranks highest out of it’s four, the PS3 just beating it’s younger brother by 1 point. It’s name ranked 17th, controller 10th, appearance 1st, game 4th, and price 22nd.

#9 Super Nintendo Entertainment System-54

Top 10 Appearances-4

Best Rank-6th

Worst Rank-19th

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Nintendo’s second console is the second to appear on this list. It’s name is ranked 10th, controller 9th, appearance 19th, game 10th and price 6th. The fact that it appeared in the top 10 four out of the five wars gets it the highest rank out of the three tied consoles.

#8 Wii U-51

Top 10 Appearances-3 (Controller Champion)

Best Rank-1st

Worst Rank-22nd

 

 

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Nintendo’s soon to be replaced sixth console is the third of seven to appear on this list. It’s named ranked 22nd, controller 1st, appearance 5th, game 6th, and price 17th.

#7 Nintendo 64-48

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-2nd

Worst Rank-14th

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Nintendo’s third console is the fourth of seven to appear. It’s name ranked 14th, controller 14th, appearance 13th, game 2nd, and price 5th.

The next three consoles are again tied. I ranked them by top 10 appearances, but numbers 5 and 4 tied with those, so I ranked them by which console placed better in each of the 5 wars.

#6 Nintendo Switch-47

Top 10 Appearances-2

Best Rank-3rd

Worst Rank-13th

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Pretty darn good for a console that isn’t even out yet. This tied with the next two consoles, but had the least amount of top 10 appearances, thus the lowest rank. It’s name ranked 11th, controller 3rd, appearance 9th, game 11th, and price 13th.

#5 Xbox 360-47

Top 10 Appearances-3 (Game Champion)

Best Rank-1st

Worst Rank-18th

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Microsoft’s sophomore console is the second to appear on this list. It’s name ranked 13th, controller 8th, appearance 7th, game 1st and price 18th. This console had more top 10 appearances than the Switch, but tied with the next console on the list. The 360 received a worse ranking because the next console ranked higher in 3 out of 5 of the wars.

#4 Dreamcast-47

Top 10 Appearances-3

Best Rank-3rd

Worst Rank-22nd

Dreamcast

 

Sega’s final console was considered ahead of its time. It’s very impressive rank on this list might prove it. It’s name ranked 3rd, controller 4th, appearance 14th, game 22nd, and price 4th. It tied with Switch and 360, but had more top 10 appearances than Switch, and beat 360 in 3 out of the 5 wars.

#3 Xbox-46

Top 10 Appearances-3

Best Rank-6th

Worst Rank-14th

xbox

 

 

Just managing to scrape the top 3 is Microsoft’s first console. It’s name ranked 6th, controller 12th, appearance 6th, game 8th and price 14th.

#2 Wii-44

Top 10 Appearances-3

Best Rank-2nd

Worst Rank-18th

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Nintendo’s fifth console takes the number 2 spot! It’s name ranked 18th, controller 2nd, appearance 2nd, game 12th, and price 10th.

 

AND THE BEST CONSOLE OF ALL TIME IS…

#1 Gamecube-20

Top 10 Appearances-5

Best Rank-2nd

Worst Rank-6th

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The Gamecube doesn’t just win, but it wins by a mile! It’s total score is less than half of second place. It’s name ranked 2nd, controller 6th, appearance 4th, game 5th, and price 3rd.

 

 

There you have it! The best 22 consoles ever made have clashed 5 times, and these are the results! The true champions have emerged!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Console Wars: Prices

For the past few weeks, I have been creating the ultimate Console War, pitting all the big consoles from all the big names in multiple fights against one another in “out of the norm” ways. Check out the intense war so far here via the links.

This week I shall be ranking the mighty consoles by their original release price. After all, pricing is super important when considering buying a console. Things get a little murky due to inflation and all that, but I will focus on the price it was when it released at that time, and only will I factor in inflation when there is a tie.

I will be using American retail prices.

All Nintendo consoles are in red text, Atari in orange, Sony in black, Sega in blue, and Microsoft in green

Let us begin.

#22 PlayStation 3- $499-$599

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This console had a ludicrous price. $499 for a 20 GB system, or for another $100, you could get 60 GB. It’s high price led to very poor sales for the first few years of it’s life. It came with Motor Storm though, a sub par racing game.

I waited until many years later to get my PS3, a 200 GB slim version for just $300. Companies do like to rip us off initially, don’t they?

#21 Xbox One- $499

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This is another huge price tag. Though everyone was expecting it to be this price, and it came with the Kinect, so I guess it was an okay price. But still, it’s high cost deterred a lot of people from buying it.

#20 Sega Saturn-$399

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I don’t know what Sega was thinking. I don’t remember when this even came out, like the late 90’s I think. Never has anything cost this much before. This was a huge price for the time. I guess the company was overly desperate to make money. This console didn’t do so well, and the price probably had a lot to do with it. This was just another bad decision in a long string of them that unfortunately led to Sega’s downfall.

Now seeing as this is not the only console with a $399 cost, it is ranked the lowest due to its inflation, which would mean it would cost $630.58 today. Plus it was just such a ludicrous price.

#19 PlayStation 4-$399

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For a console of this generation in the modern market, its price isn’t too horrible, especially since everyone thought it would be higher. But it seems Sony learned from their mistakes with the PS3. Still a high priced item in my opinion.

With inflation, this system would now cost $412.52, making it less expensive than the Saturn. But for a nearly brand new system, that increase is rather depressing to see.

#18 Xbox 360- $299-$399

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This console had two versions. The more expensive one came with a 20 GB hard drive, while the cheaper didn’t have one at all. That’s a hefty difference for such a small amount of space. But it’s lower price helped put it way ahead of the PS3.

#17 Wii U-$299-$349

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Though this console was cheaper than it’s two competitors, it did not help with its sales. The cheaper version of the console was colored white and came with an 8 GB memory.

The more expensive  was black and came with 32 GB of memory and the game Nintendo Land, which was sold separately for $60. Compared to other consoles on this list, they give you a lot more, for a lot less when it comes to the less expensive vs. more expensive versions.

#16 PlayStation-$299

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This was a high price point for 1995, but compared to the Saturn, it looked reasonable. Still, I am shocked it sold as well as it did. With inflation, this console would cost $472.54.

#15 PlayStation 2-$299

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Wow what a great box…Anyway, the PS2 was released at the same price as it’s predecessor…not bad for a significantly better console. With inflation, it would cost $418.21 today.

#14 Xbox-$299

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The same price as PS1 and 2, but with inflation, it would cost $406.63. For a brand new company entering the market, I would say the price was a bit high, though it was on par with PS2.

#13 Nintendo Switch-$250-$300

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Not real box…

This is a shady one, as it has not come out yet. Though many rumors and a European site posting it for preorder suggest the price to be around here. The higher price is rumored to come bundled with a game. This certainly seems around the price for a Nintendo console, so it is not hard to believe.

#12 Atari 5200-$269

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This was really expensive for 1982…like really expensive. I guess Atari thought they could get away with it after the success of the 2600.

#11 Jaguar-$249

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This was a pretty high price for 1993, though for what the console could do, it was fair enough. Today, this sucker would cost $440.33.

#10 Wii-$249

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This price was ridiculously lower than it’s two competitors, and gave me hope that consoles have not all reached ridiculous prices. It’s significantly lower price most likely attributed to it’s high sales. With inflation, it would cost $297.48. It also came with Wii Sports.

#9 Sega Master System-$200

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About what you would expect for a price at the time of its release.

#8 Atari 2600-$199

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And so begins the long line of $199 consoles. Atari sort of set the bar with this price. Nowadays, it would cost $790.92. F$#k inflation.

#7 Nintendo Entertainment System-$199

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Next up is the NES, it’s price inflated to$445.44. For the price, the game also came with Super Mario Bros.

#6 Super Nintendo Entertainment System-$199

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This game came packaged with Super Mario World. Today it would cost $351.91.

#5 Nintendo 64-$199

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This was the cheapest of its generation. Today it would cost $305.48.

#4 Dreamcast-$199

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This was a great price in a market full of rising prices. It would cost us $287.69 now though.

#3 Gamecube-$199

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This is the last of the $199 consoles. It is the newest of these, thus inflation hasn’t had as much time to work it’s dark magic on it. It would be $270.64 right now.

#2 Sega Genesis-$189

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This console stayed under in price just a bit from the SNES, but it didn’t come with a game, so it was actually a lesser value overall. But not for this list!

#1 Atari 7800-$139

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And here it is, the cheapest console on this list, and the cheapest console ever made really…as far as cartridge loading, multi-game consoles are concerned. I guess the company realized they really flobbed up with the pricing of the 5200 and sought to remedy it with this extremely low price. Whatever the reason, it has earned it the number one spot in this war.

But let’s see who the true winner is, the company with the most in the top 10!

Microsoft and Sony have come up short with 0 for each of them…serves em right, those money grabbing jerk bubbles!

Atari comes in next with 2 in the top 10.

Sega is the runner up with 3.

Nintendo leads the pack again with 5. Not hard to do when you have double the consoles than all the other companies, but still. They are earning their wins nonetheless. Thank you Nintendo for always looking out for our wallets!

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