Tournament of Hotties: Dragon Ball (Round 1, Part 1) [Winners Revealed!]

It’s time for another Tournament of Hotties, and this time we’re going to show some love for some animated beauties from my favorite show of all time, Dragon Ball! This tournament will encompass women from all the series, (DB, Z, GT, S).

The women selected had to have at least a few lines and have their name mentioned at some point in the show (mostly). So you will see a ton of girls throughout this tournament.

And trying out something new here. Now you can vote for your favorite girl each bout. Maybe your favorite will make it to the finals?

Bout #1

Bulma Brief Vs Mai

Bulma is the beautiful blue-haired leading lady in the entire series, and is always dressed to impress. Her looks steal the show throughout the whole show save for GT. Dragon Ball and early Z more so than the others thanks to her sexy wardrobe!

Mai is also a pretty woman, but never shows herself off, too busy being a henchman or fighting to save her planet against a villainous superpower with only a rifle. So she’s got courage at any rate!

Victor

Bulma

Bulma Brief

Bout #2

Launch (Purple Hair) Vs Launch (Blond Hair)

dragon ball launches

This is the same chick. The purple is an innocent, clueless sweetheart, the blond a psychotic criminal badass. She switches back and forth every time she sneezes. If you’re doing the bad thing to purple, you better hope she doesn’t sneeze, as blondie will kill you.

But the following photo proves if they were separate people, they’d get along just fine.

dragon ball launch love

Victor

dragon ball launch

Launch (Blond)

Bout #3

Ranfan Vs Panchy Brief

Ranfan is a martial artist who distracts her opponents with her good looks and hot bod. So if she takes of her clothes for you, chances are she just wants to kick you in the face.

Panchy Brief, on the other hand is sweet as pudding. As Bulma’s mother, it’s obvious she gave Bulma her good looks, but not quite sure where the blue hair came from. She’s always ready to prepare something sweet and delicious for you, so yeah…bonus…

Victor

dragon ball panchy brief

Panchy Brief

Bout #4

Hasky Vs Akana Kimidori

Hasky is a bounty hunter, which isn’t so great if she’s trying to kill you, but at least the last thing you ever see is a sexy blond.

Akana is actually from another comic book series created by the man who made Dragon Ball. She makes her appearance when Goku travels there in search of Dragon Balls. She’s pretty hot in a tank-top and shorts, so woo-hoo.

Victor

dragon ball hasky lingerie

Hasky

Bout #5

Colonel Violet Vs Melee

I’ve always heard most military women are pretty wild. Violet seems to be no exception.

Melee is a demon from Demon Land. Demons are always talked about in a negative and fearful way, but if they look and dress like her, they can’t be all that bad.

Victor

melee db

Melee

Bout #6

Fanfan Vs Chi Chi

Fanfan is a woman Roshi and Shen used to fight over in the olden days. She looks an awful lot like Colonel Violet.

Chi Chi is the wife of Goku. She is very beautiful in this picture, and it’s definitely the prime of her life. This is when she’s 18-years-old or so at the end of Dragon Ball. Unfortunately she starts to decline almost immediately. She’s still good looking in early Z, but she seems to age faster than every other character, so by the end of Z, she’s quite old looking. ‘Tis a shame she never gets an adult version of her childhood attire.

dragon ball chi chi kid clothes

That’ll do…

Victor

dragon ball chi chi butt

Chi Chi

Bout #7

Annin Vs Princess Snake

We’ve got two otherworldly deities competing here.

Annin watches over a furnace, likes to fight and eat noodles.

Snake likes to seduce people with hot green women and food and whatever else your heart desires, and then eats you. Both women kind of suck, but at least they’re nice to look at.

Victor

annin 2

That’s all for now! See you in part 2!

My Top 10 Favorite Star Wars Characters

I must be in a Star Wars mood, since I just wrote about it last week. But hey, I just watched season 7 of Clone Wars and with the weekly Mandalorian episodes, how could you blame me?

Today I will attempt to pick 10 out of the countless Star Wars characters who I believe to be my favorite. This is going to be really tough, but here goes.

 

#10

Han Solo

han solo

He’s easily one of the funniest characters in the Star Wars universe thanks to his reckless courage, crude/sarcastic personality, and tendency to tick off the wrong people. Yet he always pulls through, and while he’s a jerk to most people, he will sacrifice everything to help the ones he cares about. Whether portrayed by Harrison Ford, or the guy from Solo, he is a whole lot of fun to watch.

#9

Darth Maul

star wars darth maul

The first time I saw this guy I was blown away. Seriously, how much cooler could someone look? Plus a double-sided lightsaber? Awesome acrobats? This guy is nuts. I was devastated when he died, but thrilled when he came back. It wasn’t until Clone Wars/ Rebels that we got to really see his personality. His is a cunning, manipulative, and hugely angry son-of-a-gun who constantly gets shat on to the point where you feel bad for him.

#8

Yoda

yoda

I think a big part of Yoda that intrigues me is the mystery around him. We know so little about him, other than he is likely the most powerful Jedi to exist in the timelines exposed to viewers. Sadly the only time we really see just how grand he is in episodes 2 & 3, and they are two of the best scenes in the films. He proves he can easily match and overpower even the mightiest of Sith Lords, both with his saber and force abilities.

But he’s a strange guy. I’m pretty sure he knew everything that was going on with Palpatine’s grand scheme and just let it happen. I suspect he wanted to retire when he was on top…

#7

Darth Tyrannus

Count-dooku

This Sith Lord is interesting for he is a well-respected retired Jedi. But what the movies don’t show is just how powerful he truly is. Sort of. He easily defeats Anakin and Obi-Wan in Attack of the Clones, and even stands his ground for a bit against Yoda, but it isn’t until Clone Wars that we see just what a power house he is. His feats in that show are more or less astounding, proving he is one of the most powerful Jedi/Sith ever.

Plus Christoper Lee has one of the coolest voices ever, so that makes him even more awesome.

#6

R2-D2

r2

He started out as this adorable, charismatic, loveable droid, and remained a big part of the series until he’s replaced by BB-8. But why I like him so much is because he’s a frickin’ bad-ass. This droid does not give a f$&k. He will fight anything that stands in his way. He’s defeated numerous battle droids, dodged hundreds of lasers, and even led a mission of his own during the Clone Wars. I don’t know what’s stored inside his trash can of a body, but you can bet he’s got a tool or weapon to help you out in any situation.

#5

Rex

star wars captain rex 2

Wielding 2 pistols rather than the more standard rifles, this guy is the most bad-ass Clone out there. Serving under Anakin during the Clone Wars, this guy has been a key part of many highly dangerous and equally important missions. He is as loyal as can be, bred and trained to be the perfect soldier. He even sticks around to do his part in the civil war, for there is nothing this guy does better than war.

#4

Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader

star wars anakin-vader

I really like the whole story behind Anakin. The chosen one, born of the midichlorians, a ridiculously powerful Jedi turned Sith turned proud father. As a Padawan, he’s a cocky immature prick, but once he is promoted and mature, he’s a very powerful warrior and incredible tactician. He is a key player in the success of the Clone Wars, both in the fact that he is an unstoppable powerhouse and helps the republic beat the separatists, and also taking down the republic and starting an empire which was why the Clone Wars was started in the first place. So like I said…key player for both sides.

The Clone Wars shows how truly powerful he is as a Jedi. As a Sith Lord, we don’t get to see too much of him, other than he is angry and ruthless. Knowing the events that led up to him becoming Vader in his scary suit and all, you can’t really blame him for being angry. I actually feel bad for the guy. His life pretty much completely sucks. He lost everything he loved simply because he feared to lose them, and is forced to live for several decades with this knowledge eating away at him. Not to mention he has to live in that miserable suit as practically a machine because he had to pick a fight with his best friend/ father-figure.

#3

Obi-Wan Kenobi

obiwan

Obi-Wan is one of the most powerful Jedi ever. He slays a Sith Lord when he’s just a Padawan, proves throughout the Clone Wars, both in the show and movies, that he’s a beast, and his “duel” with Darth Maul in Rebels shows he doesn’t stop growing in power after his isolation post-Order 66.

Ewan McGregor gives him a strong and hilarious personality that carries perfectly into The Clone Wars series, making him one of the most entertaining characters in the franchise.

#2

Sabine Wren

star wars sabine dark saber

Sabine is a master at like everything. She is incredibly acrobatic, to near Jedi levels, a master at hand-to-hand combat and all sorts of weaponry. But she’s also a tech genius, and explosives extraordinaire. Not to mention she’s a crazy good artist.

She even received training from Jedi to use the Dark Saber, which belonged to her, which is kind of a big deal. She’s got a deep backstory, and a wonderful, loving, not to mention loveable personality, and I hope very much to see more of her one day.

#1

Ahsoka Tano

star wars ahsoka-lead-1605788471

We essentially watch Ahsoka, the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker, grow up. Unfortunately her whole life is nothing but war, and because of this (and being apprenticed to an extremely reckless and powerful Jedi), she quickly becomes the ultimate warrior. Her acrobatic skills are unlike any other Jedi, making her a hard target to hit on the battlefield. Her lightsaber skills become very hard to rival as well, especially after she adds a second lightsaber, thus changing up her whole style to match her swift movements.

Ahsoka displays enormous power throughout the Clone Wars, which only grows along with her body. In season 7, we really see just how incredible she is. But even though she leaves the order, she is willing to help those in need, thus she gets dragged into the civil war, continuing the only life she knows, like some orange skinned Rambo, but with laser swords.

And there you have it! That’s 10 of my favorite Star Wars characters! Though I wouldn’t exactly say I’m certain on this, as there are so many. Definitely, without a doubt, Sabine and Ahsoka belong where they are. They hint that those two might go an adventure to find Ezra, and I wish they make a show or something about that. Seeing my two favorite characters in their own series would be a dream come true.

The Best Inventions Of All Time

Throughout history, humans have climbed to the top of the food chain thanks to our innovative brains and thus, the inventions we have created. I am going to make a list of some of the more impressive inventions that have ever been created in my opinion These are also most certainly things we take for granted today.

Electricity

bulb-close-up-electricity-577514-2

I don’t know how someone can even begin to discover electricity, but it’s certainly an amazing invention that runs the world.

The Telephone

telephoneTelephones baffle me. How does talking into something send your voice over entire continents with little to no delay via a bunch of cables? Needless to say, this was a game-changer, and continues to thrive today, going from at least one in every household to one in every pocket/purse.

Caller ID

caller id

Remember these? The first one we ever owned looked much like the one pictured above. Before then, I would talk about this idea with my brothers, but thought it would never happen.

“Imagine if the phone could tell you who’s calling, and give you the phone number of who’s calling?”

That was just a far-off fantasy. Oddly, enough, Caller ID is something people take for granted and anyone born after the 90’s probably can’t even begin to imagine that something seemingly so simple was never around until the last 25 years or so. Now it’s built right into phones, but originally it was a separate box you had to connect to the phone and stored I think like 50 numbers, so you had to sit there and delete them all the time.

This invention was a game-changer. Now you didn’t have to answer the phone and hope to God it wasn’t a telemarketer or someone you didn’t know. It took all surprise out of using the telephone.

Pie

apple_pie_square

There are countless kinds of pie. You can basically throw anything you want in between some dough, bake it, and bam, you’ve got the most delicious thing ever. Like seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad pie. And they’re so versatile, they make appropriate ones for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. With Thanksgiving approaching, you can bet I’m looking forward to a whole lot of pie-feasting.

Doughnuts

doughnuts

Oh my God, doughnuts. So unhealthy, yet so delicious. They come in all shapes, sizes, flavors, colors, toppings, fillings…oh man! Like pies, each one is delicious. A truly irresistible delicacy.

Automobiles

1908-Ford-Model-T_0

These were a huge development for transportation. Once upon a time, most people were walking or using horses, now there are as many vehicles as people on the planet. What would take several hours to walk, now takes several minutes.

Like seriously. Every time I look under the hood of an automobile, I’m like “How in the heck did someone invent this?”

It’s just too bad people are so awful at operating them. And now traffic is a major problem, but hey, it beats riding a horse 50 miles in the elements instead!

Airplanes

airplane

To think man could ever take to the sky! Many people I imagine believed this could never be done. And yet now it’s the fastest way to travel! Like automobiles, I can not believe they exist. Look at the original plane up there. How did that turn into the massive commercial liners we see floating above us all the time? Not to mention the fighters that can fly at the speed of sound and all that. Absolutely remarkable.

Bikinis

bikini model

A few slight pieces of cloth over the right areas, and women can legally walk around just about naked. They come in all shapes and sizes, thus some show off more than others. But even the most preservative bikinis still leave little to the imagination. Thanks to these, going to a pool or beach is like living in an erotic fantasy.

GPS

gps

This is another thing I talked about as a kid but never thought would happen. “Imagine there was something in your car that would tell you where to go?” I would say. Well blam-o. GPS was born, but not until I was in high school, and I didn’t get one until I graduated college, and it was every bit as wonderful as I could ever hope. I used to be terrified of going on long journeys, because I hated reading maps and missing a turn if using something like mapquest could mean utter disaster. But GPS changed all that, and thanks to this wonderful invention, I had two careers that involved driving all over the place every day.

Nowadays, they are taken for granted, as they are slapped right in with your car or phone now, but originally, they were a very expensive piece of hardware you had to suction cup to your windshield.

Yoga Pants

yoga pants

I’ve noticed women now refer to these as “leggings” while most men call them yoga pants.

Yoga pants first came out when I was in high school, but they were much different. They were a soft, cozy looking fabric that were loose around the legs, but very tight around the butt. Eventually, companies started putting words on the butts, like “babe” or “hot.,” as if the butt hugging pants weren’t enough to get guys to look at them.

After a few years, yoga pants changed to skin tight, body hugging pants that leave little to the imagination. Nowadays, at least where I live, this is all women wear. This is both an amazing thing, and a not so amazing thing. If the girls got a great figure, and particularly a nice tush, then you’ll be surely  be drooling. 

But I did say every woman wears these, so when an overly obese 60-year-old woman walks by, it’s going to ruin your day.

But thanks to yoga pants or leggings, pretty much going anywhere has now become a pleasant treat.

Internet

Global communication network concept.

The internet is amazing and terrifying. For bad people, it makes it super easy to ruin good peoples lives. For everyone though, it brings the world to your finger tips. Communication, knowledge, entertainment, everything is a few clicks away now. It’s also terrifying how dependent we are on it nowadays, and that is coming from someone who doesn’t use it nearly as often as most people.

Again, this is something that most people take for granted. Internet did not become a household thing until the 2000’s. I myself got it in 2000 I believe. It’s crazy to think how much the internet has grown since then, and how much easier it is to use. People who had dial-up internet know what I’m talking about…

It won’t be long until the internet completely dominates our lives, if it hasn’t already that is…

Calzones

calzones

Like damn. This is basically a pie, but with an Italian twist. An assortment of cheeses, vegetables, meats, sauces… pretty much whatever you want, all baked or fried in a delicious dough. So good but so unhealthy.

Buildings

empire_state

From towering skyscrapers to gigantic complexes to the houses we live in, I find building construction fascinating. Like cars, looking at these enormous buildings makes me wonder how humans even began to build them. It’s fascinating stuff, I tell you.

 

What The Eff Does The “F” Word Mean?

Have you ever thought about what the word “fuck” actually means? It is easily the most versatile and most used word of all time. How many times do you use it a day? I imagine a lot, but not nearly as many times as you hear it per day. And that is because it can mean a hundred different things apparently.

Let’s think of all the ways the f word is used.

It can be used as an adjective. “Look at that fucking house.”

It can even be used as an adjective for an adjective, transforming it into a super-adjective. “That’s fucking great.”

You can use it as a replacement for excited words like “wow” or “awesome,” as in “Holy fuck!” which can also take the place of scared words like, “yikes.” “Oh fuck!” is correct in this case as well. Angry expressions also work here. If you are mad, you may simply say “fuck!” “Mother fucker” can also be used here, or even as an insult.

It can be used to start a sentence or something to buy time while you think of what to say, like “umm” or “uh” How many times have you heard someone say, “Fucking… I can’t even tell you what kind of night I had.”

It’s another word for sex, but apparently is a rougher version of the term “making love.” “I fucked my significant other.”

It is also something you can take out of something, so to speak. “I fucked the fuck out of her” or “I drove the fuck out of that car.”

Use it to reject something. “Fuck that,” or “Fuck you,” the latter also considered an insult, which can also be said as “Fuck off,” which essentially means “Leave me alone,” or “get out of here.”

Speaking of that, it is also something that can be removed, or else add emphasis on something that can be removed. “Leave me the fuck alone” or “Get the fuck out of here.” In extreme cases, one may say “Get the fuck out of fucking here!” “Fucking” in this sentence being used as a…pronoun…adverb? It’s been a long time since grammar school, so who the fuck knows?

It can even be used as the subject of a sentence in these same lines, as well as an insult. “Leave me the fuck alone, you fuck,” and “Get that fucker out of here.” You can even throw in some adjectives to make it complete. “Get that fucking mother fucker the fuck out of fucking here.”

Yes, “mother” is often a preposition to “fucker,” usually for insulting purposes, or as I mentioned earlier, to express frustration or anger.

Think terms like “huh?” are too short? Say “What the fuck?” instead. It has the same meaning. It can also similarly be used when a subject is involved. “What the fuck is up with the cat?” or “What the fuck are you doing?”

Use “Fuck, man” too show sympathy, disappointment, confusion, exasperation. A full sentence might sound like, “Fuck, man. I had a fucking lousy day; I’m fucking tired.”

If something is disturbing, you can utter “That’s fucked up.”

The very same phrase can be said to describe something that is battered, beaten, or messed up in anyway. You can even pre-warn someone of being fucked up by letting them know, “I’m going to fuck you up.”

And speaking of messy things, if you walk into a house that is really disorganized or straight-up trashed, you will likely be unable to refrain yourself from exclaiming, “Holy fuck, this place is fucked!” Which essentially is a shorter version of saying “This place is fucked up,” which could also mean it’s a strange, weird, distant, bizarre, creepy, scary,  or an uncomfortable place.

So be careful how you use this, as it can mean a whole slew of different things, but ultimately anything that is not in it’s normal state, or what society as a whole or just what you yourself perceive as normal, then it is safe to say it’s fucked up.

Then we have the term, “Get fucked.” This can be used as an insult, similar to “fuck off.” Though it can be taken as a more literal sense, meaning, “get sex,” which is a good thing, but not in the case of “Get fucked,” so it seems.

But you can say “I’m going to get fucked!” which in that case is a good thing, unless you remark this right before being forced into non-consensual intercourse. Thelatter would be a good thing to inform your parents of, the former, not so much.

You can use it to express your frustration at yourself, like when you do something stupid, you can sigh, “Fuck me!” Don’t get this confused with “Fuck me!” which invites someone to have sex with you, or the completely redundant exclamation of someone so caught up in pleasure during sex that they cry out “Fuck me!” as encouragement while already being fucked.

When you have enough of something, you could throw down what is annoying you and say, “Fuck it.”

This very same term can also be used before doing something against your better judgement. You can shrug off your conscience, fear, or what have you by saying “fuck it.”

And while on the subject of shrugging things off, the f word can be something you can give away. Say “I don’t give a fuck” when you don’t care about something. But that’s just the low level. If you really don’t care about something, that’s when you start handing them out. “I could give two fucks about your problems.” But be careful on how many you give out, because before long you’ll find yourself saying “I don’t have any fucks left to give.”

When someone does something that negatively affects you, you could say they “fucked you”, no not in the sexual sense…do your best to keep these phrases straight please! Another way to say it is that they “fucked you over”.

It can also be used as a simple noun, such as “You dumb fuck!” or even just “You fuck!”

And when all things fail, and all versions of passion become too much, you can just go wild and start throwing it in at any possible opening.

For instance, if you are very angry and can’t keep it in anymore, you could simply say, “FUCK THIS FUCKING STUPID GOD DAMN FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER FUCKING PIECE OF FUCK. IT’S SO FUCKING FUCKED! I’VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!

Heck, there are plenty of people who use the word so frequently, even without their emotions running high, that I find myself struggling to piece together what they are actually trying to say, because there are so many f-bombs being dropped, the rest of the word gets swallowed up in the blast.

Those are all the uses I can think of, for it’s truly mind-boggling to try and put them all to meaning.

Here’s the actual definition when googled. And it’s just as fucked as you would imagine.

erbverb: fuck; 3rd person present: fucks; past tense: fucked; past participle: fucked; gerund or present participle: fucking

  1. 1. have sex with (someone).
    • (of two people) have sex.
  2. 2. ruin or damage (something).
    • treat (someone) badly or unfairly.

nounnoun: fuck; plural noun: fucks

  1. an act or instance of having sex.
    • a sexual partner.

exclamationexclamation: fuck

  1. used alone or as a noun or verb in various phrases to express annoyance, contempt, or impatience.

Man, what a beefy multi-meaning word. And really it’s fucking stupid, and makes people sound really dumb when they say it.

Can you think of any other uses of the f-word that I missed? For surely there are dozens more. Perhaps different parts of the world use it for different meanings?

Die Hard Series Ranked

All of my life, I have heard people rave about the Die Hard movies, mainly the first one. Growing up in the 90’s and watching nothing but 80’s and 90’s action movies, I cannot figure out how I never saw any of them. Heck, I never even saw a movie with Bruce Willis in it until The Expendables came out, with the exception of Pulp Fiction, which I dislike, s the actor never really caught my interest.

But one thing I always thought was that the Die Hard’s aren’t as good as every made them out to be.

Well, I am glad to say I was mistaken. The series, and especially that first one, is definitely not overrated, and is up there next to series’ like Rambo as some of the greatest action movies of all time.

So I will rank all five movies from worst to best in my opinion.

#5

A Good Day To Die Hard

2013

a good day to die hard

The fifth and final movie has John McClane team up with his son to kill some folks, and as an action movie, it’s okay. As a Die Hard movie, it’s pretty lousy. It’s as if the producers wanted to make some extra cash and tossed Bruce Willis into a half-assed movie and slapped Die Hard on top of it, knowing the name itself would make them millions.

It’s very short, it lacks the intense action and story of the others, and ultimately is a big let-down. I’d give it a 6/10.

#4

Die Hard With A Vengeance

1995

die hard 3

The third movie changes up the Die Hard formula. It’s the first one that doesn’t take place during Christmas, and it’s missing the entire cast from the first two except John, who gets teamed up, also a first, with Samuel L. Jackson to solve a bunch of life-or-death riddles.

It’s a clever, action-filled movie, but lacks what the first two were. 8/10

#3

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

1990

die hard 2

These next three movies are in a class of their own, beginning with Die Hard 2.

This movie is one of the best action movies out there. Battling terrorists in an airport is as intense and awesome as you could imagine. Truly a great movie. 11/10

#2

Die Hard

1988

die hard

This movie is just barely better than it’s sequel. My jaw hit the floor when watching this. The characters are all intense and likeable, and the action is top notch. One of the greatest movies of all time. 11/10

#1

Live Free Or Die Hard

2007

live free or die hard

This is definitely my favorite of the series. The fourth entry takes all the action, intensity and…John McClanenyness that made the first two so epic and takes it up a notch, using more modern technology for bigger action than was possible in the 80’s and 90’s. They used this technology to simply improve the Die Hard formula, and it worked out very well. 11/10.

Overall, besides the fifth one, this series is remarkable and I will enjoy these movies until the day I die.

 

PS5 Has Big Problems, And Not Just Because Of The Price

Yes. the price of the PS5 is way too high, in my opinion anyway. But that’s not what I want to discuss today. It’s the actual size of the PS5 that has made me decided to pass on this console, unless they make a slim version, which since they never did for the PS4, I am not hopeful.

If you haven’t heard, the PS5 is just under 19 inches long and about a foot wide.

You effing kidding me?

Allow me to put it in perspective.

Here is a picture of a shelf in my entertainment stand.

My shelf is around 21-22 inches, long, just barely able to fit a PS5’s massive 19-inch girth. They are probably 15-16 inches deep to, so basically an entire shelf would have to be dedicated to one console.

This is unacceptable. All my shelves are full or close to it. It is not possible to relocate everything just to fit an unnecessarily giant console. I mean, look at that picture; I’ve got my PS2 sitting on top of my PS4, because I’ve got no room for it elsewhere, and the 4 is already way too big, and the PS5 is nearly twice the length!

Since the PS5 is apparently backwards compatible with 4 games, then I could get rid of my PS4, but it doesn’t appear that I can sit anything else on top of it, so forget that plan!

The Xbox Series X is around 6 inches wide and 11 inches long, and probably uses more or less the exact same hardware, so how did they manage something so much smaller?

Well at least PS5 games are coming out for 4, for a while anyway…here’s to hoping they slim that heifer down some time in the future. I’ll be waiting for a price cut anyhow, so hopefully that’s not the only thing that gets trimmed down.

Paper Mario Series Ranked

In honor of the recent release of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Nintendo Switch, I am going to take the entire series, well, all the ones I’ve played anyway, and rank them from worst to best.

I don’t like saying worst to best, because I think every single one of these games is a grand slam. It’s easily one of my favorite series, out there, (it actually came in fourth in my top 10 video game series).

Aside from them being all great, diverse, unique, creative, and charming, it’s the story-telling and humor that really gets me. I can’t explain it, but there’s a certain feeling I get when playing these games that basically says, “yeah, I’m playing Paper Mario, and I’m ecstatic.”

This series doesn’t have a lot of games, which makes it all the more special.

So here we go!

#5

Super Paper Mario

Wii, 2007

Times Beaten-1

The first to stray from the original formula, this takes the classic Mario platforming and combines it with RPG elements and showers the bizarre Paper Mario creativity all over it. Despite being last on the list, it’s still a wonderful game.

#4

Paper Mario: Sticker Star

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 1

 

This one returns to turn-based combat, but requires you to have stickers to attack. You have a sticker book to hold all your stickers, but it has limited space. Weak attacks are small, and stronger ones are huge, so you’ve got to balance them out and use what’s necessary during battles. This adds a fun strategical element to the game. The game also takes the whole paper theme to a new level.

The game uses a world map like in Super Mario World, dividing the game into stages for the first time. It also involves a lot of back-tracking and puzzle solving, which is impossible to figure out. I needed to use a guide the whole game, because it was so confusing.

#3

Paper Mario: Color Splash

Wii U, 2016

Times Beaten- 1

This one is more like Sticker Star, but instead of stickers you use cards to attack, and have to paint them during battle to make them more powerful. You can play three cards at once, and it is rather fun to set up attack trains to fit the situation. The only trouble is, killing enemies grants you items that when enough are gathered, your paint supply grows. Eventually, when it’s big enough to suit your needs, there is no point in fighting enemies. That’s right, there is no experience and level-ups in this game.

#2

Paper Mario

Nintendo 64, 2001

Times Beaten- 2

The one that started it all, and still one of the most bizarre and brilliant ideas of all time. This is a classic JRPG, but with massively unique elements, though it does borrow from Super Mario RPG. Awesome characters, a variety of partners to help you fight, silly story, it’s all awesome.

#1

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

GameCube, 2004

Times Beaten- 2, maybe 3??

The gameplay in this one is just like the first one. Every area in this level is fantastic and imaginative, and is one of the few games I’ve ever played that I got sad when I beat it. This may be my favorite game of all time, as a matter of fact. Or at least second-favorite.

All these games are hilarious, have fun worlds to explore, characters with quirky personalities, addicting gameplay, and a whole lot of frickin’ awesome.

The world is very divided on this series. Many people complain that they changed the formula and wish the series returned to the the style of the first two.

There’s no denying (in my book) the first two are by far the greatest, but that is no reason to hate on the others, for they are all solid, unbelievably fun and witty games.

Would I like to see a return to the originals? Absolutely, but I am also excited for new ideas, and am anxious to see what other creative, unique, WTF things they can come up with. Which is why I can not wait to play Origami King!

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Adam Sandler’s Lovely Leading Ladies- Finals

At long last, we come to the finals. Many beautiful (and not so beautiful) women have battled it out from the numerous Adam Sandler films out there. And now we come to the final two hotties.

Take a look at all the other rounds here.

Let’s see who the hottest woman Adam Sandler has ever pretended to bang, or at least date or kiss or something like that, is.

 

Holly Sullivan (The Wedding Singer)

holly sullivan 2

Holly has defeated Linda (Wedding Singer), Veronica Vaugn (Billy Madison), Vanessa (Big Daddy) and Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds) in this tournament. Those are some beautiful women.

As I’ve said numerous times already, this actress doesn’t choose to flaunt her body, which is highly unfortunate, but I’ll give you what I can…

She is really, really beautiful, especially in her youth, but is still someone you wouldn’t pass up in her current age.

 

VS

palmer and adam

Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It)

To reach the finals, Palmer had to eliminate Roxanne (Grown Ups), Laura (Funny People), Alex (Chuck & Larry), and Katherine (Just Go With It). That’s a hot line-up, and she managed to prevail.

Fortunately, unlike Holly’s actress, Palmer’s is very much a model, so feast your eyes, good people.

This woman is, as they say, drop-dead-gorgeous.  Incredible body, big boobs, long legs, beautiful face, great hair, what’s not to like? Especially since all of these things are shown off exquisitely in her movie.

Holly is a stunning woman, and I can’t decide if I want to hug her or jump on top of her and do the bad thing, due to her huge  mixture of cuteness and hotness. She’s a very sexy woman, and is downright gorgeous.

The thing is, Palmer is all of those things as well, but even more so.

That’s why, the hottest leading lady in an Adam Sandler movie is…

 

Tournament Winner

palmer dodge

Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It)

 

This doesn’t really come as a surprise if you’ve seen my Impossibly Hot Women Tournament of Hotties, where Palmer’s actress, Brooklyn Decker, was a competitor. That tournament was essentially a grouping of 16 of the hottest women on the planet. But she did actually have some tough competition in here. But in the end, Palmer is just too friggin’ hot to touch.

 

And as a bonus (as usual), here are all the women ranked in my own personal order, from least hot, to hottest, as they appear in their respective films. The round they were eliminated in is in parentheses.

#39 Debbie Lustig (The Week Of) [Round 1]

Rachel-Dratch-Debbie-Downer-SNL-Coronavirus

#38 Flor Moreno (Spanglish) [Round 1]

Paz Vega-12

#37 Jennifer (Eight Crazy Nights) [Round 1]

jennifer 9cn

#36 Dinah Ratner (Uncut Gems) [Round 1]

idina menzel

#35 Becca (The Do-Over) [Round 1]

kathryn hahn

#34 Lena Leonard (Punch-Drunk Love) [Round 1]

Emily Watson Photos

#33 Carmen Herrara (The Cobbler) [Round 1]

melanie diaz

#32 Valerie Veran (Little Nicky) [Round 2]

patricia arquette

#31 Jill Hastings (Bed Time Stories) [Round 1]

keri russell

#30 Dawn (The Do-Over) [Round 1]

catherine bell

#29 Erin Sadelstein (Jack and Jill) [Round 1]

katie holmes

#28 Lucy Whitman (50 First Dates) [Round 1]

drew barrymore-maxim-2

#27 Julia Sullivan (The Wedding Singer) [Round 1]

Drew-Barrymore-poster_1316785_b

#26 Lauren Reynolds (Blended) [Round 1]

drew barrymore_1

#25 Audrey Spitz (Murder Mystery) [Round 1]

jennifer aniston black dress

#24 Courtney Clarke (Sandy Wexler) [Round 2]

jennifer hudson 2

#23 Layla Maloney (Big Daddy) [Round 1]

joey lauren adams

#22 Linda (Wedding Singer) [Round 1]

Angela-Featherstone-Feet-380715

#21 Virginia Venit (Happy Gilmore) [Round 1]

julie bowen-sexy-images_960x544

#20 Vicki Vallencourt (The Waterboy) [Round 2]

fairuza balk 3

#19 Deborah Clasky (Spanglish) [Round 2]

Tea Leoni blue thing

#18 Linda (Anger Management) [Round 3]

marisa tomei butt

#17 Veronica Vaugn (Billy Madison) [Round 2]

bridgette wilson dress

#16 Smoking Fox (The Ridiculous Six) [Round 2]

julia jones-da-man-magazine-02

#15 Laura (Funny People) [Round 2]

leslie mann

#14 Maru McGarricle (That’s My Boy) [Round 2]

eva martino

#13  Vanessa (Big Daddy) [Round 3]

Kristy-Swanson-Celebrity-Actress-Sexy-Premium-8-x

#12 Babe Bennett (Mr. Deeds) [Round 1]

winona-ryder-picture-2

#11 Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds) [Semi-Finalist]

winona what

#10 Violet Van Patten (Pixels) [Round 3]

michelle monaghan tight

#9 Holly Sullivan (The Wedding Singer) [Runner-Up]

christine taylor-bikini-pictures-005

#8 Roxanne Feder (Grown Ups/Grown Ups 2) [Round 1]

salma hayek

#7 Heather (The Do-Over) [Round 2]

paula patton open

#6 Julia De Fiore (Uncut Gems) [Round 3]

julia fox topless selfie

#5 Dalia Hakbarah (You Don’t Mess With The Zohan) [Round 1]

emmanuelle chiriqui bikini

#4 Katherine Murphy (Just Go With It) [Semi-Finalist]

jennifer aniston

#3 Donna Newman (Click) [Round 2]

kate beckinsale leopard bikini top strapless

#2 Alex McDonough (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry) [Round 3]

jessica biel tcm

#1 Palmer Dodge (Just Go With It) [Tournament Winner]

brooklyn-decker-14

 

And there you have it! We’ll see you next Tournament of Hotties!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Adam Sandler’s Lovely Leading Ladies- Round 1, Part 2

Adam Sandler has done a lot of movies, most of them romantic comedies, and he typically has a very attractive woman as the person he is romancing, so it’s time to pit all the wives, girlfriends, partners in some way that he has had among all his movies to see who is the ultimate hottie!

I can’t make any promises that I didn’t miss any, for there’s quite a few and it’s been years (like in the decades) since I’ve seen a lot of these, or I’ve only seen them once and don’t remember, but I’ll do my best to find them all!

Note that I will be judging the women as their characters, and not the actresses themselves, for we will likely see them before and after their films were made.

Check out round 1 before looking on to see the next batch of (hopefully) beautiful women!

 

Bout #6

This next bout is sort of interesting, as it is actually the same woman, but in two personas. But she looks so different in each that I thought it prudent to put both in here.

 

Babe Bennett (Mr. Deeds)

babe bennett

Of the two, Babe is the real one, and she’s sexy…very sexy, and seems to have a kind of slutty reputation. She has an assertive, “I get what I want” attitude, so her rep isn’t all that surprising. She looks incredible in that low cut black dress, making us want to see more and more.

 

VS

Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds)

pam dawson

Babe has taken on the alter-ego of Pam Dawson. She’s a little more made-up, her hair color is lighter, and she’s much more conservative, bashful, kind, and innocent. Not only is this woman much more girlfriend material, but actually better looking, despite her not showing off a good bit of cleavage.

babe pam

They are both beautiful as shown here, but only one can go on. Heck, it’s a win-win for the actress at least.

 

Victor

pam dawson 2

Pam Dawson (Mr. Deeds)

 

Bout #7

Jennifer (Eight Crazy Nights)

jennifer 8cn

You know…I had to be thorough.

I’ve never seen this movie so I don’t have much to comment on.

 

VS

Linda (Anger Management)

linda am

Linda is a very good looking woman who seemingly just wants to be banged in public. Most people would oblige to this, for she is very attractive.

Certainly mores so than that cartoon woman.

 

Victor

2

Linda (Anger Management)

Bout #8

Lucy Whitman (50 First Dates)

lucy whitman

She’s meh, and has serious baggage.

 

VS

Deborah Clasky (Spanglish)

deborah clasky

I’ve only seen this movie once, and that was like 15 years ago, so I don’t recall a thing. But as far as Deborah goes, she looks to be a very beautiful woman.

Two blonds battling here, but one is clearly much hotter than the other.

Victor

deborah clasky2

Deborah Clasky (Spanglish)

 

Bout #9

Flor Moreno (Spanglish)

flor moreno spanglish-1

What do you do when your hot blond wife cheats on you? Bang the nanny of course! Even if she kind of looks like a man…

 

VS

Donna Newman (Click)

donna newman

This woman is gorgeous. Click is probably my second-favorite Adam Sandler movie, and the fact that this woman is so sexy adds a lot to it.

This is the easiest decision so far…

Victor

donna newman 2

Donna Newman (Click)

 

Bout #10

Alex McDonough

(I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

alex mcdonough

Well…

Damn.

 

VS

 

Dalia Hakbarah

(You Don’t Mess With The Zohan)

dalia

Wow, another gorgeous woman. Her tanned skin, slim body, long dark hair, woo, it gives me the chills just looking at her.

This is the hardest bout in the tournament at this point by far. Both of these woman are extremely hot and look super sexy in their pictures.

But looking over some pictures, I’d say this one is hotter.

 

Victor

alex cat

Alex McDonough

(I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

I mean, it’s hard to compete with someone in bra and panties and this ridiculously sexy cat costume.

 

But I would like to show off Dalia a bit, since she’s so gosh darn hot.

I wish you didn’t have to end so soon…

 

Anyway, that’s it for round 1, part 2. See you back for part 3!

School Bus Drivers Are The Biggest A-Holes

Y’all ever notice this? I guess because they carry a bunch of kids they think they can do whatever they want.

I’ve nearly been hit by them on several occasions, for they run red lights, ignore right-of-way rules, and even some basic traffic laws. The former two are especially worse when there’s a group of buses. The whole line will go through red lights like a funeral procession, and cut off any car they can, as if they have to maintain a chain of buses.

Basically, I’m tired of them acting like they own the roads.

There are more extreme cases of course. A year or two ago there was a massive accident on a major highway near me, where a school bus missed an exit and decided it would be okay to make a U-turn when the median opened up. This major highway has three-four lanes on either side, mind you, and he just cut from the right most lane to the left, slowed down to a crawl and began to turn his big old bus to the other highway, effectively taking up at least two lanes in the side he was moving out of and likely would have taken up two or three on the other side if he didn’t get slammed into by a dump truck, who couldn’t slow down in time to stop for the random bus turning into the middle of the highway.

school bus 80

And right away, people were blaming the dump truck, who did absolutely nothing wrong.

To me, driving like this is a serious problem. Having such an “I am important cuz I carry kids, so yield to me” attitude is so dangerous. How about they just drive like everyone else, or rather, like regular safe drivers, and they’ll get your kids safely to where they need to be, almost guaranteed. Or at least I’ll get to where I’m going safely, since I won’t have to worry about being cut off all the time.

God dang jerk-offs.