I Must Contest The Term “Metroidvania”

Metroidvania, for those who don’t know, refers to any video game that resembles the basic formula/ set up of your basic old school Metroid or Castlevania title. More specifically, any non-linear platformer that has an emphasis on item collecting, traversing with the use of a map if needed, exploring, unlocking secrets with your new items to open new paths or find more items…etc. That’s basically the gist of a Metroidvania game.

My issue with this term comes from this…Castlevania basically ripped this formula from Metroid. So wouldn’t it just be considered a Metroid-like game?

Now I haven’t played many of the older Castlevania titles. I played 1-4, and then Symphony of the Night only like a year ago (as far as the older ones go). That is when I realized why people had been saying “Metroidvania” for so long. The game was set up just like Super Metroid, except you use a sword. So the only reason I can see “vania” being tagged on is for games that use close ranged weapons rather than a gun.

I don’t know, it’s really not relevant in the slightest, but hey, I thought I’d just point it out. It’s almost like Castlevania is riding on the coat tails of Metroid’s more successful type of platforming, not that Castlevania needed any help I guess…

My Top 10 PlayStation 3 Games

Of Sony’s consoles, the PS3 is by far my favorite…sort of. They are all so similar, it’s hard to truly judge, but in terms of games, this one takes the cake for sure. Looking into my top 10 was super difficult, because there are a TON of amazing games on the console. I couldn’t easily pick 10 of them, and the ten that I did, I’m not even sure if they are truly my top 10 or even ordered correctly…but whatever.

I’ve got a whopping 96 games for the console, and of those I have so far played 76. So here are the ten I struggled to pick out.

#10

diDante’s Inferno

Visceral Games/ Electronic Arts

2010

 

 

This is a shameless rip off of God of War, but it is actually better than almost every game in the God of War franchise. I couldn’t put this game down. It is so much fun. It was left wide open for a sequel that never came…which is nothing short of heartbreaking, because I couldn’t wait for it.

#9

re5 coverResident Evil 5

Capcom

2009

 

 

This game is so much fun. The enemies are awesome, the co-op is great, (but make sure you don’t give Sheva any bullets if playing alone) playing as Chris again is awesome. The story involving him, Jill and Wesker coming to a close is even more awesome, the intense action and real time inventory management make this a endlessly fun, intense action game.

#8

Uncharted-2-Among-Thieves-Detail-CoverUncharted 2: Among Thieves

Naughty Dog/ SCEA

2009

 

 

I don’t know why I love this game so much, but I do. The action, the settings, the characters, the story were all so perfect. I couldn’t put this game down, which is weird because the other 2 games in the trilogy (haven’t played 4 yet) I find to be just okay at best. But 2 is so stinking good.

#7

Resident_Evil_6_box_artworkResident Evil 6

Capcom

2012

 

 

Combining elements of all Resident Evil styles, having multiple campaigns with old and new characters interacting in the same interesting overall story that is fun to see how they affect each other and crossover one another, intense, yet tense gameplay, nuts bosses and just an overall amazing experience make this one of the best games out there. It is one of the few games I have ever played that made me sad to beat it.

#6

StarWarsfuStar Wars: The Force Unleashed II

LucasArts

2010

 

I didn’t really like this game the first playthrough, but when I came back to it, I loved it the second time around. The gameplay is so much fun and very satisfying. The story, however, is what is truly amazing about this game. It’s a shame they never finished the originally planned trilogy.

#5

forceunleashedStar Wars: The Force Unleashed

LucasArts

2008

 

I was hoping for a game with gameplay like this my whole life, and finally received it when this came out. I played through this game like 3 times in a row because it was so much fun. And being able to change costumes after you beat it is cool, especially when you can play as a whole slew of different Jedi. The story is amazing, the different planets look incredible. This one manages to slip by as the better of the two games by a small margin.

#4

God_of_War_III_cover_artGod of War III

SCE Santa Monica/ SCEA

2010

 

This completely blows away all other games in the series. This is taking the already perfect gameplay of the previous games and somehow perfecting it even further. I loved it from beginning to end.

#3

Castlevania_Lords_of_ShadowCastlevania: Lords of Shadow

Mercury Steam/ Konami

2010

 

This is another game I enjoyed from beginning to end. It borrows heavily from God of War, but does it better. The story is excellent, the gameplay is wonderful, the puzzles are fun, the scenery gorgeous, the music only adding to it’s allure. I just wish the second one came somewhat close to the glory of this game.

#2

Infamous_2inFAMOUS 2

Sucker Punch/ SCEA

2011

 

 

This game is incredibly fun. It’s got a very interesting story, all sorts of crazy characters, a bunch of areas to climb and explore, crazy enemies to take down and a whole slew of new powers. Top notch.

#1

Infamous-coverinFAMOUS

Sucker Punch/ SCEA

2009

 

 

That’s right, my favorite game on the PS3 is actually the first game in the inFAMOUS series. While the gameplay isn’t as good, I just liked the story and overall simplicity better. It was fun to stay in one city, obtaining your powers as you progress, trying to figure out what the heck was going on with you, and just killing hordes of gang members. A lot of the time, simple is better.

Pokemon: Let’s Go Eevee-Bringing Families Closer Together

This new game has done what I thought not possible.

I am a huge gamer and was in third grade when Pokemon took over the world. I loved the cards, the show, and especially the games…that is…red, blue and yellow. I lost interest in the games a little after Silver and Gold came out, because like a dumb kid, I was like “How dare they expand upon something I love and insult my nostalgia!?!?!”

But a few years ago I picked up where I left off, reentering the games with HeartGold/ SoulSilver and now have every mainline Pokemon game except the Sun and Moon ones. And I now love the series more than I ever did as a child.

Then Pokemon Go comes out, and I had no interest at all in playing it. But my wife, who despises everything about video games and yells out me regularly for my hobby, has been playing Go nonstop since it came out and absolutely loves it.

I appreciated the game for bringing her into something I have more or less loved my whole life. Suddenly, she became just as knowledgeable as me, if not more so, on the franchise.

So naturally, I tried to get her to play the mainline games, which she will never ever do and gets mad every time I ask. At the same time, she always asks me to play Pokemon Go, which I still have no interest in doing either. This frustrates my wife, as she claims “You have a thousand video games, yet you won’t play the one I actually do!”

Enter Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee. Eevee happens to be my wife’s favorite Pokemon, and here comes this game that let’s you have one walk around with you.

When I first saw the trailer, I thought it looked very good, was a smart business decision and pretty fun looking. I had no interest in it for myself, but I wondered what my wife would think, and so I showed her the trailer, and she loved it.

I just recently got it for her birthday and it has changed our lives (slight dramatization there). Here we are, playing co-op in a remade game that I cherished as a kid (and still do, really) with my wife in control. I don’t always play with her, cuz I find it kind of boring being the second player, but I find it so much more fascinating to watch her travel through Viridian Forest, battle Brock and all that, sharing the same experiences I had 20 years ago, but now with better graphics and different gameplay. It reminds me of my first time playing the first Pokemon games as I watch her play through it for the first time.  What’s more is she loves it. She actually likes it better than Pokemon Go, which I would have never thought possible.

It is truly baffling to me that when I go to bed, she goes and turns on my Switch and plays Pokemon for hours. Thanks to this new rendition of Pokemon, our similar interest, but on branching paths, have been joined and we can actually enjoy one of our greatest passions together, and for that, Nintendo, I thank you.

The Most Disappointing Album Follow-Ups

Don’t you just hate when an artist or band you listen to really rocks your world, and you just can’t wait for that next album, and it just doesn’t compare. Really, this is no reason to hate on the album or the band, for it just means that they have set expectations of the fans so high because they are that good, so really you are just ticked at them for not increasing their songwriting and talent so exponentially that they didn’t top your favorite album, and honestly, if you like something that much, nothing will ever come close.

But anyway, let’s take a look at some albums that really disappointed me. This is sort of the opposite of my Artists Whose Talent Greatly Increased Between Albums posts.

Avenged_Sevenfold_-_Nightmare

Avenged Sevenfold

Nightmare

2010

 

 

 

Avenged Sevenfold was really killing it with City of Evil and their self titled album. Then their drummer died just before recording Nightmare and I don’t know, it just didn’t have the same feel to it, on top of the fact that it was missing a lot of the intense energy that usually rips through their albums. It has grown on me quite a bit over the years, however.

Sticking with this band is the follow up to Nightmare

hailAvenged Sevenfold

Hail to the King

2013

 

 

 

The band decided to completely change their music to give the fans a really good metal album…circa the 80’s. Trouble is…no one wanted it. I don’t like 80’s metal all that much personally, so I was very saddened by this album, which lacked just about everything that I loved about the band up to this point. Again, it grew on me over the years, but it certainly is one of my least favorite by them.

gmdBetween the Buried & Me

The Great Misdirect

2009

 

 

 

After 3 incredible albums, I guess the charm of their mind blowing talent and unique style wore off on me. That and their songs were now consistently going over 10-15 minutes long for no reason and their bland vocalist and complete lack of rhythm and time signatures just make them a hard band to listen to.

killer insideBleed the Dream

Killer Inside

2007

 

 

 

After the intense, dark, melodic face smasher that was Built By Blood, their drummer died and the singer, who had the best voice ever for their sound, quit. Thus everything changed. It’s a good album, no doubt, but, it is nothing like the masterpiece before it. Their sound is completely different and the new singer is not so good.

Encore_(Eminem_album)_coverartEminem

Encore

2004

 

 

 

This album, while good overall, falls way short of his previous ones. There are some very good tracks on it, but also a number of “what the heck was he thinking?” tracks that are easily the worst, and really, his only bad songs he’s ever made for the most part. Eminem blames this on being on drugs, and you can easily believe that with some of these tracks.

 

ffaftdttFuneral For A Friend

Tales Don’t Tell Themselves

2007

 

 

This is definitely by far the worst album these guys have made. What makes it even worse is it followed up their best album (in my opinion) which also happens to be one of my favorite albums of all time. Over time, it has grown on me…sort of. It completely lacks the amazing talent and nonstop energy the band is known for.

Renacer,_Senses_Fail's_fifth_studio_albumSenses Fail

Renacer

2013

 

 

 

After a string of really amazing albums, they lose most of their members and change their sound to a heavier, bland hardcore/punk sound that is nothing like their old, incredible sound. The guitar tones are muddy, the songs not very creative…and on a typical garage band talent level. Though, it has grown on me over the years…but mostly because their follow up makes this one seem amazing.

Which brings us to…

pull the thornsSenses Fail

Pull The Thorns From Your Heart

2015

 

 

This album is truly bad. The quality is even worse than Renacer, the tones even muddier, the music is terrible, nearly every song is forgettable and/or awful and it’s just a mess, nothing at all like their former glory.

alcehmyThrice

The Alchemy Index

2007/2008

 

 

 

Thrice doesn’t really make good albums, save for Artist in the Ambulance and the somewhat worse Vheissu. Following the latter was this four disc, two album set that really toned down their music to a slow, melodic, technical (with synths and computer crap) style. It’s okay…but not anything special at all. They’ve only gotten worse from here.

Though they are really good live if you ever want to see them…I highly recommend it.

Underoath-DefineregularUnderoath

Define The Great Line

2006

 

 

 

Following up my favorite album of all time, this had a lot to live up to…and they drop the ball completely. Their sound is nearly 100% different, and it’s just not that great. Even today, it has grown on me, but barely.

The_Few_and_the_Far_Between_(Vanna_album_-_cover_art)Vanna

The Few and Far Between

2013

 

 

 

Having lost their lead vocalist in the previous album, it took a big hit, but managed to maintain a Vanna feel to it. In this album, however, they lost their clean vocalist/guitarist, thus resulting in a brand new sound, with a relentless screamer who never shuts up and sounds like a weasel, very rare clean vocals and bland, typical metal music. In short, Vanna went from one of the best post-hardcore bands out there to an okay metalcore band. Highly disappointing. Though their sound has grown on me over time.

 

My Top 10 PlayStation 2 Games

PS2 is the best selling console of all time, and really is a much better console than the PS1, though still far from my favorite, but I do love it anyway. I have 51 games for the sequel console and have played 41 of them so far. So which are my top 10? Let’s take a look!

#10

Mega_Man_X8_Coverart

Mega Man X8

Valuewave Co., Ltd/ Capcom

2004

The last game in the X series is pretty solid and a huge step up from 7, bringing back more of the roots of the series.

#9

king kong

Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie

Ubisoft Montpellier/ Ubisoft

2005

I was gifted this randomly by someone and I thought it was going to be terrible like most movie games are. But it turned out to be an exciting, unique mostly first person shooter, and you even get to play as Kong on occasion which were great segments. A very solid and fun game. Now I know why…I had no idea it was made by Ubisoft.

#8

ps2_call_of_duty_2_big_red_one_gh_se

Call of Duty 2: Big Red One

Treyarch/ Activision

2005

This is by far my favorite Call of Duty game. It was made in the height of first person shooters, a few years before their decline. So in addition to that, what really set this one apart for me was the story, or rather the character development of your group of soldiers. You actually get to learn about the people in your squad and develop an attachment of sorts to them, making you actually feel like part of the team. This has never been done before and never has again…as far as I know anyway.

#7

DBZ_Tenkaichi_3_Cover_2

Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3

Spike/ Atari SA

2007

This is easily my favorite Dragon Ball game of all time, and mainly because of the enormous roster. I can always sit and play a few matches thanks to the endless amount of characters, crazy attack moves and transformations.

#6

khcom

Kingdom Hearts: Re:Chain of Memories

Jupiter Corporation/ Square Enix

2008

A full remake of the original GBA game, this version of the first sequel to Kingdom Hearts is quite impressive. Thanks to the clever use of cards, this is one of the best strategy games out there. But it’s easily the worst game in the KH series, mainly because it’s very slow moving, grindy and getting your cards broken all the time is super annoying. But it has a great story and introduces a butt load of important characters.

#5

bf2

Star Wars: Battlefront II

Pandemic Studios/ LucasArts

2005

This is definitely my most played game on PS2. I played the crap out of it. Alone or with a friend, this game is so much fun. There’s nothing like whittling away a few hours by blowing up space ships or slaughtering armies of droids or troopers.

#4

gow

God of War

SCE Santa Monica/ SCEA

2005

This game set the standard for all future action games. Smooth, responsive controls, exhilarating combat, light puzzle solving, banging chicks, killing gods…this is the most macho game ever, and Kratos is easily the most bad ass character ever created. Such a fun game. Oh, and a good story.

#3

gow2

God of War II

SCE Santa Monica/ SCEA

2007

This game doesn’t F around. You start with everything you had in the first game and just get stronger. All the perfection from the first game is brought back and somehow improved upon, making this one of the best games ever made.

#2

kh cover

Kingdom Hearts

Squaresoft

2002

I was hooked the moment I played this game. This was the best RPG I ever played at the time, because it took all the good stuff from the genre and left out all that complicated crap. The gameplay is excellent, the game satisfyingly challenging, and the start of the best story ever. Oh and the incredible wacky idea of combining Disney and Final Fantasy is geniusly bizzare.mIt’s hard to believe that 16 years later, we still have not seen the conclusion of said story.

#1

kh2 cover

Kingdom Hearts II

Square Enix

2006

And here is my favorite PS2 game of all time! This game makes the first one look crappy beyond belief when compared to this one. It is hard to believe just how much they improved this game over it’s prequels. It’s just so good…the story, the world’s, the gameplay…my god the combat is so much fun. This is the only game I can think of that I would willingly grind just because it’s so much fun to kill stuff. It’s just a masterpiece…sniff…

 

 

 

Okay…College Might Be the Biggest Scam Ever

A little while ago, I made a post about how insurance and the current system we use for it is like the biggest scam ever, but now I think college just might be instead.

For starters, how in the world is college so freakin’ expensive!?!? Like think about it. If a school has 3000 students, who pay $30,000 a year, that college is getting 90 million dollars a year. And what they heck are you paying for? Sure dormitories and meal plans can be expensive, a little too expensive, but even if you commuted to a school, it’s the classes that are truly ridiculous.

The average cost per credit is $594 dollars, which for an average 3 credit course, is $1782 per class. For WHAT!?!? What do they do with all this money? Who does it go to? Not the people teaching you, that’s for sure! Is knowledge that you will ultimately forget worth that? Especially when half the crap they force you to take is stuff you’ve already learned multiple times throughout your life and/or is entirely useless!!

And don’t forget books! The books are more expensive than a brand spanking new PS4! WTF!?!? And every class requires them, and yet half the classes won’t have you use them very often, and I’ve had classes that said, “we won’t use them this semester.” Even buying them used will cost you around $200 for one measly battered old book.

So you spend all this money going to school for far too long a time, when really, for the most part, you can learn everything you need to know about a job in like 2 months with on the job training that someone should be paying YOU for. But no, all these people go to school so that they come out ready to start their lives, only to realize there are no jobs in their field, or the market is so damn competitive that getting your desired job is like winning the lottery. I can count the number of people who I know who have successfully used their degrees and got into a field they desired on one hand.

So all these people get out of college is some very expensive knowledge, most that they will forget within a year, that of which they haven’t forgotten already, and a very copious loan they will struggle to pay off for the next 15 years.

And this is how colleges really have you by the scrotum. Desperate, these folks decide to GO BACK TO SCHOOL to make themselves more marketable! That’s right, the Bachelor’s Degree nowadays is the equivalent of a High School diploma 15 years ago. It’s all about the post grad certifications! So these foolish people spend even more money, go into even more debt, just to have another useless piece of paper and still can’t find a job. All the while they are working nights at a McDonald’s or QuickChek, getting payed minimum wage, trying to afford rent, their girlfriends begging them for a ring. They end up stuck their for 5 years before being promoted to manager where they make 11 bucks an hour now and before they know it, they’ve made a career out of it, while their fancy diplomas shrivel in a closet somewhere.

And what really solidifies how much college is a scam is the fact that half the jobs out there ask that you have a four year degree, but don’t give a rat’s arse what it’s in. They just want to see that you went to school. What kind of sense does that make? Going to college doesn’t prepare anybody more than someone who doesn’t for these jobs that ask this. To me, these jobs are saying, “Hey you with the huge loan! I bet you’re desperate for a job that isn’t crazy manual labor! Want to put that degree to use? We’ll under pay the hell out of you, because we will take advantage of that desperation. But hey, at least your degree isn’t wasted, huh?”

And what about Associate’s Degrees? Yeah, remember those? Why do they even exist, they are like a GED. They might even be more worthless. People with these might even be smarter than those with higher degrees though, for they are only in half the debt.

Realistically, people who didn’t go to college should be prime picking for jobs. While young adults go waste their money partying like idiots for four years, these uneducated folk are out in the real world, experiencing life, learning how to make a living, thus they are vastly more mature and experienced than any college student could ever hope to be when they graduate. But these poor folk, just because they decided not to go to school, will never make more than 18 bucks an hour.

And I thought we live in a country that’s all about trying not to discriminate? Equal opportunity!

But seriously, think about this….

PEOPLE SHOULD STOP GOING TO COLLEGE ENTIRELY!!

If no one went to college, they would all close. The government is most definitely behind the ever-growing expenses of colleges. They force us to think we need these degrees, thus we pay for college, and the economy benefits greatly. That’s the real goal of college.

But if we didn’t go, we’d be sticking it to those greedy a-holes, and at the same time, any job would be open to anyone. If degrees didn’t exist, you would no longer see such unrealistic job requirements. Seriously, half the jobs out there say

4 year degree required

5 years experience in field

knowledge in these 5 different areas.

Jobs don’t want to train people, because it costs them money, so they look for people who simply do not exist. So instead of all humans being completely desperate and miserable our whole lives as we do our best to struggle against impossible odds to survive, I ask, what if we made the jobs desperate for us?

Once they realize no one meets their impossible criteria, wouldn’t it get easier to get a good job. Granted, they would just lower wages beyond belief, and even more people would apply, but maybe not if people just refused these wages and no one took any crap from employers.

 

It’s just so sad. If an entire country united, we could change it so life wasn’t complete hell. This, unfortunately, is the definition of impossible.

But seriously. F college. Fight it. Oppress it, instead of them oppressing us.

Tournament Of Hotties: Pop Singers- Finals

Well we finally made it to the finals. Two of the hottest pop singers to ever live are about to battle it out to see who the hottest one of all time is. So check out the links listed here if you want to see all the scantily clad competitors, and now here’s the hotness!

 

Christina Aguilera VS Katy Perry

Observe, the hotness that is Christina. She is a sexy, sexy, hot, unbelievably sexy woman with an incredible body.

A dream come true.

And now for the final hottie!

Man, have you ever seen such gorgeous women before?

Now the hard part…to see who is hottest…oh boy…

They both dress very sexy in their own ways, but both showing off their sexy bodies, which are both perfect. I don’t know whose is better.

Overall, Christina is sexier, but Katy is more beautiful. It’s a hard call but I’d have to go with…

Victor- Katy Perry

katy-perry-nude-boobs-and-ass-charming-sexy-photo

That’s right, she is the hottest pop singer of all time. She has a great body, beautiful, hot, sexy, cute, gorgeous features, and just looks to be about perfect in every way! A well deserved win. It’s just too bad she had some melt down and cut off all her hair and doesn’t look so hot anymore. But that’s just me.

 

And as always, I will rank the 16 pop singers on how I personally find them, from least attractive to hottest. It’s just an excuse to see some more of all these hotties. The round next to their name is how far they made it in the tournament.

#16 Fergie (Round 1)

fergie-a

#15 Taylor Swift (Round 1)

taylor swift.cm.6715

#14 Gwen Stefani (Round 1)

gwen_stefani_hot_photos_panty_sexy

#13 Janet Jackson (Round 1)

janet jackson phone

 

#12 Ciara (Round 2)

ciara leopard bikini

 

#11 Carrie Underwood (Round 2)

Carrie Underwood-Feet-2891764

 

#10 Shakira (Round 1)

Shakira-Pictures54

#9 Aaliyah (Round 2)

aaliyah stringy black

#8 Jennifer Lopez (Round 1)

jennifer lopez bday

#7 Jessica Simpson (Round 1)

Jessica-Simpson-103

#6 Beyonce (Round 1)

Beyonce-Knowles-0

#5 Mariah Carey (Semi-Finalist)

Mariah-Carey-sexy-ppcorn-760x500

 

#4 Britney Spears (Round 2)

Britney-Spears-4

#3 Christina Aguilera (Finalist)

christina-aguilera005

#2 Ariana Grande (Semi-Finalist)

ariana grande lingerie cat

#1 Katy Perry (Winner)

katy perry striped bikini

Tournament Of Hotties: Pop Singers- Semi-Finals

This is it! We are down to the last four hotties. Only two will advance. Check out who’s been eliminated so far and now, let’s move on to the first bout!

Mariah Carey VS Christina Aguilera

Wow. Talk about two unbelievably sexy women. It’s going to be hard to choose which is hotter. But try we shall!

Mariah, the hottie who doesn’t stop…

I’ve always thought Mariah was super hot, but since this tournament, it’s been amplified. She is everything you would want in a woman rolled into the perfect package.

And here’s the ridiculously sexy Christina!

Oh my God, she is so sexy. She is like the embodiment of lust. Everything from her posture, her expressions, her body…she always looks like she wants to have her way with you, and I doubt anyone would be able to say no.

Both women are perfect and deserve to have made it this far. It’s hard to say who the hottest is, but this one is so alluring…

Victor- Christina Aguilera

Christina-Aguilera egyptyish

And the last two women are nothing short of perfect hotties.

Katy Perry VS Ariana Grande

Let’s start with the astounding beauty that is Katy Perry…

Amazing body, great features on said body, and her face is perfectly gorgeous, giving an innocent, likeable woman kind of look, but also hinting at a wild side that everyone wants to see. She looks super sexy singing with that mouth of hers hanging open.

And the younger, yet master of hot and cute herself, Ariana Grande!

Everything about her drives me wild. Her small tight figure, those short skirts, especially when she leans forward in that taunting, sexual way. She knows just how to get our attention with her none too revealing clothes, but makes it even sexier than if she was standing in front of you naked.

So who is the winner? I don’t really know. They are both so perfect. Each is very different, having their own unique hot qualities. But Ariana, while being someone anybody would want to spend their life with, just still has a bit of a babyish look to her, despite being ridiculously sexy.

Victor- Katy Perry

katy_perry_130.jpg

So we now have out finalists! Christina Aguilera and Katy Perry will battle it out for the hottest pop singer of all time!

More Stupid Things Nearly Every Driver Does…

This post is to coincide with my old post about obvious things 80% of drivers tend to fail to do. This time around, however, I think it applies more closely to 90% of drivers. That’s right, nearly every single driver I see is guilty of this.

The first issue- why in the heck do people wait until the last second to move into an off ramp lane or something similar?

To further explain, imagine you are on a highway with multiple lanes. Now imagine your highway to have exits every few miles. Now imagine those exits having their own lanes to exit off of. Yes, most exits you see in real life will eventually have a lane open at least a somewhat short distance right before the exit, and in some cases, at least half a mile.

My gripe is, WHY DO PEOPLE IGNORE THESE LANES!!!!??? I’m being serious. At least 8 out of 10 drivers will ignore this lane when it opens up and stay in the lane next to it. But they slow down a good 20 mph, thus backing up all the traffic in that lane, and/or forcing others to quickly jump into the next lane to the left, thus most likely forcing people already in that lane to hit their brakes, and before long, at a busy time, BAM! Bumper to bumper traffic.

But anyway, these enlightened drivers will suddenly veer off into the exit ramp just as the exit lane ends, or within the last 20-30 feet of a 500 foot lane. Or my favorite one is the people who slowly move over, driving in both lanes for the majority of the time.

I can’t understand why so many people do this. It’s just so baffling to me. When the lane opens up, quit effing around and move over. It’s not difficult, I swear it’s not! Let us people trying to get places do so…for the love of God!! I can’t tell you how many collisions I’ve avoided from being behind someone who stays in the regular lane while I move into the exit lane. I just always assume the idiot in front is eventually going to move over, so instead of moving further up the exit lane, I fall way back, because the guy in the regular lane is surely going to move over at the last second. This almost always happens. If I had continued on at regular speed, these people probably wouldn’t even look and just move right into me, or at least cut me or someone else off.

My second gripe that 90% of drivers are guilty of…waiting until the last second to move out of a lane closed for road work of something of the sorts. You know what I’m talking about, right? When you sit in traffic for 40 minutes because they close one lane on a 4 lane highway?

Depending on the time of day, this will unavoidably cause obscene amounts of traffic. But if people weren’t so god damn stupid, it  wouldn’t build up as quickly, or in slower times, traffic would be avoided all together.

So what am I talking about that could be avoided? THE FACT THAT MOST OF THE TIME THERE ARE SIGNS ALERTING YOU THAT A LANE WILL BE CLOSED!!!!!

Most construction areas or whatever will put up signs that say something along the lines of “Left Lane Closed In Two Miles.” Some will then give a 1 mile warning and half a mile warning.

Now common sense would tell most people to get out of the left lane as soon as you see the sign. 2 miles is plenty of time to move over to the right without having to cut someone off too badly, if at all.

But no…the few intelligent people that do move over is like the greatest gift to all the other idiots out there. The left lane clears up, so tons of people go into the left lane and slam on the gas, turning the highway into a race track, because they just have to get those 3 cars ahead! Then just when they are about to hit the cones closing off the lane, they quickly cut some smarter person off in the right lane, thus causing that entire lane to quickly come to a complete stop. Now once this lane is stopped, you would think people would just line up, knowing that the left lane is closed.

Nope…

All those bad ass morons just keep piling into the left lane, stopping at the cones and pushing their way into the right lane. Dozens of cars do this, and each one just backs up traffic more and more. And chances are these idiots were sitting in traffic before hand. Your own dumb, selfish actions are what are causing the traffic in the first place…you morons!!! And naturally, people in the lane the idiots are forcing their way into are now moving into the other right most lanes, causing traffic in those lanes as well. And what does that make? A parking lot, folks!

So yeah. That’s all I have to say right now.

The point I’m trying to make is if people paid attention, stopped being selfish idiots (as if) and utilized the tools given to them, traffic would be less of an issue and us people who drive a lot could get back a few hours of our lives each week.