Thanks to an Amazon Prime Day sale, I finally was able to see all the Jurassic Park movies. Having only seen the first two several times way back in the 90’s, and Jurassic World a few years ago, I’ve always wanted to see the entire series again in this millennium. Plus I’ve wanted to see the third one since I heard it was coming out. It took 15 years, but I finally did! Oh yeah, and the fifth one too. I didn’t have to wait too long for that one.
Any who, here are all five movies ranked from my least favorite to most favorite! See how it compares to your own opinion!
#5 Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
This is a good movie, it just kind of went in a weird direction, what with auctioning off dinosaurs like they are sex slaves or something. Though it makes sense, since it builds off of a story in it’s prequel. It just feels very different, since they are not roaming around in a dinosaur habitat, with all that lovely suspense that comes with it.
Also, I’m not sure if the Jurassic World movies only acknowledge the first movie, because when they are trying to clear out the island, they have to find some other island that the dinosaurs can live on, and no one seems to mention the fact that there already is an entire island with self-sustaining dinosaurs on it…
#4 Jurassic Park
There is nothing wrong with this movie, but something about it seemed lacking. I guess because this is more of a suspenseful, almost horror-like film, it seems kind of slower-paced. Or maybe I was just adjusting to the style of Jurassic Park, where all the carnivores seem to exist for the sole-purpose of devouring everything in sight, whether they are hungry or not. That and the ludicrous idea that these animals could actually survive in today’s environment/climate was hard to swallow at first. But really that’s not the point, and scientific facts should not take away from this movie.
The effects are absolutely incredible for a movie made in the early 90’s, and they still look great today. So props to the crew on that one!
#3 Jurassic Park III
This movie changes up the formula a bit, and pretty much is an edge-of-your-seat non-stop action movie, featuring several dinosaurs never seen in the first two movies. It’s super intense, and a lot of fun.
#2 Jurassic World
This one takes Jurassic Park a bit further, as the name “World” implies. As the first three movies focus on the idea of a park that fails miserably, this movie shows us a successful up-and-running park for the first time, where humans have more control and understanding of dinosaurs. It also takes the creation of dinosaurs a few steps further. Combine these two factors and you’ve got a recipe for ultimate disaster. This movie probably has the highest amount of deaths in it and the most fearsome dinosaur in the whole series as a result.
#1 Lost World: Jurassic Park
This movie is basically just an improvement on the first movie. It does everything that movie did, and just makes it bigger and better. It has big action scenes with a lot of terrifying moments mixed in. There are more dinosaurs, both fearsome and gentle, and we get to see a T-Rex rampage through San Diego, which is pretty awesome. To me, this is the perfect Jurassic Park movie.
The thing is, all these parks would have been successful if it wasn’t for human greed. All the problems come from dirtbag humans trying to score big off of dinosaurs in illegal ways… more or less. It’s like the series is trying to tell us that the original rulers of this planet need to come back and cause the extinction of the blight that is humanity.
Aaaaannnndd, I just found out they’re making a sixth one. Mother f’er, who knows how long it’s going to take me to see that one…
Every now and then, a sequel comes out that completely blows the game before it out of the water, regardless of how bad or good the former game was. I am just going to keep a running list of such games.
I will only be comparing them to the game that was released directly before the one that I rate significantly better.
Metroid II: Return of Samus
The first Metroid on NES kinda sucks. This, especially for being on a weaker system, fixes a lot of problems with the first and expands upon the gameplay and environment.
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
The first Super Mario Land is a good game, but it’s very short and not that good. This game is much longer (though still short) with creative power-ups and levels.
Mario Kart: Double Dash (GameCube)
Oh my goodness, this game is good. Mario Kart 64 is completely flattened by this one, thanks to fun, creative levels, special items for each character, tons of unlockables, a huge character roster and just as many carts to choose from. Not to mention two characters at once!
Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (GameCube)
So I’m cheating a bit on this one, as I’m using the GCN version. But anyway, SA2 is my favorite Sonic game of all time. It takes the formula of the first Sonic Adventure and makes it actually fun and not so sucky.
Super Smash Bros Melee (GameCube)
This game was huge! 13 new characters, tons more stages, lots of other stuff to do in single player. The first game was basically a demo to test the waters. This was the real deal.
Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)
Damn…this game is good. Not only does it blow away SMB2, but almost every other game on the console. More power-ups, huge world, exponentially better and smoother gameplay. It’s baffling how good this game is.
The first Banjo-Kazooie suffers from a lot of the problems that plagued the N64/PS era…namely the controls and camera and everything else that developers couldn’t figure out when 3D games first came around. Tooie solves most of those issues and thusly, is a pretty stand-up game.
Mario Kart 64 (N64)
Despite being crushed by Double Dash, MK64 is far, far better than the original Mario Kart. Mainly because the 3D planes suits a racing game much more. The controls are much better too.
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch)
Ultimate lives up to it’s name. An enormous roster, even more stages, and both which are currently still growing, and an actual fun single player campaign, and some other single player stuff that doesn’t really require you to play it through with each and every character. This game has given me just about everything I wanted out of the series and more! Not only does it blow away the Wii U version, but every game in the series.
Dungeon Siege II (PC)
The first game sucks, really really badly. This game does not. It’s quite good, and happens to be the best in the series.
Red Faction: Armageddon (PC)
RF: Guerilla isn’t so great. Armageddon happens to be one of the best FPS’ out there.
StarCraft II (PC)
The StarCraft II games blow away the first couple games. A decade in between them ought to do that.
Tomb Raider (2013) [PS4]
This game, a reboot of the series, completely destroys not only it’s predecessor, but every game in the large series up to the point of it’s release.
WarCraft II: Tides of Darkness (PC)
This brings some much needed improvements over the first game, and is ridiculously larger and more intense as well.
Final Fantasy VII (PS)
When FF came to PlayStation, it was the greatest thing for the series. Better story-telling thanks to cutscenes and the capability of a much larger world and expanded and flashier gameplay make this series what it was always trying to be. VII successfully obliterates FFVI.
Rayman 2: The Great Escape (PS)
The original Rayman is ridiculously hard and frustrating, and really not that good to begin with. The sequel switches from a 2D to 3D platformer and quite frankly is really, really good.
Mega Man 7 (SNES)
The jump to a new console meant great things for this series. This was a much bigger game than not only six, but all the others as well, thanks to a lot more collectibles, abilities and story elements.
Super Metroid (SNES)
This is far superior to the quite good Game Boy prequel. Like…damn.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past (SNES)
After the delightful and experimental Zelda II, this game returns to it’s roots, but in a much bigger and better way.
Medal of Honor Heroes 2 (Wii)
The first game was some little, albeit decent PSP game made primarily for online play. MOHH2 is more what you would expect from a MOH game, thusly, it’s far better than the prequel.
No More Heroes 2 (Wii)
No More Heroes is a fantastic game, but they clearly had a much bigger budget on the sequel, so there is a lot of improvement in gameplay, visuals and story.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)
Just as Melee vastly improved over the original, the same was done for Brawl. This is a much bigger game with tons more content.
Super Mario 3D World (Wii U)
Super Mario 3D Land is a neat game that combines the 2D and 3D Mario formulas, and while it’s a great game, I found myself wishing they had just gone with one or the other. 3D World changed my mind. This game is a masterpiece, plain and simple.
Kingdom Hearts II (PS2)
Kingdom Hearts II, one of the greatest games ever made in my opinion, is the direct sequel to Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories for the GBA, which is the worst game in the series (again, in my opinion). So yeah, KH2 completely devastates CoM in comparison, and is oodles better than KH1 too.
Thanks to Jacobsonbblog for suggesting this game!
Risen 2: Dark Waters (PC)
This game is pretty bad, but as Risen is quite possibly the worst game I’ve ever played, Risen 2 is steps and bounds above it.
Risen 3: Titan Lords (PC)
Risen is an atrocity, Risen 2, crap, Risen 3 is actually pretty good. I enjoyed playing it, rather than wanting to blow my brains out.
That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll add more as I think of them.
I’m back with another tournament of gorgeous women, but this time we’re gonna feed our fictional fantasies. These princesses might be popular for being royalty and starring in big movies and the like, but they are also hot, and damn it, we want to know who the hottest of the hot are.
I am going to be going all out and using all sorts of Disney females of royal caliber, even a few I have never heard of before. Note that no matter what we see on these pages, I will be judging them on how they look in their respective movies.
So let’s get to it!!
Our oldest Disney princess is Snow White, but she doesn’t look a day over 20. She also isn’t much in the looks department at all. Her dress is unflattering, she’s kind of a ditz, and honestly, there isn’t anything to gawk at. But according to the Magic Mirror, she is the most beautiful woman in all the lands. Well, if that is true, then I’d hate to see the other women in whatever lands she is from.
Cinderella, on the other hand, is a hot blond, though she doesn’t wear anything sexy, unless you are into rags.
She is obviously a very beautiful woman with a bangin’ bod. And as a bonus, she cooks, cleans and can talk to animals, so who wouldn’t want that in a woman?
So the winner here is obvious, but I would like to share with you a picture I have located that someone drew that does in fact, make Snow White look quite sexy.
Too bad you don’t shape up like that in the movie.
Next up is a heavy sleeper and an avid swimmer!
Aurora is an attractive blond, with her wild hair, petite body and shy nature, she’s enough to make any guy chase after her. The title of her movie even calls her hot…sort of. Heck, in Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, one of the characters you play as wants to bang the sleeping broad.
And next we have the gorgeous little mermaid, princess of the seas, Ariel! Sure, she’s half marlin, but that doesn’t mean her human half isn’t one of the hottest sights on the seven seas!
Any woman, half a fish or not, that wears a bra made out of sea shells as their everyday clothing, showing off their perfect body, is a welcome sight to me.
And when that long red hair is floating around underwater, phew, it gets pretty bubbly, if you know what I mean.
And with two beautiful women this time around, who to vote for?
Ariel takes the trout. Aurora has a great body no doubt, but she doesn’t flaunt it. Ariel has no shame. She shows us what she’s got, and we like.
Next up are two more amazingly drawn hotties.
Here we have a gorgeous French bookworm facing off against a beautiful Arabian princess.
Belle is not born a princess, but is married into it the role as implied in Beauty and the Beast. Not only does Belle score a 10 out of 10 in both the looks and brains department, but also in personality. She is a kind and gentle, unbelievably caring woman, but also can be fierce and fearless. She must also be one kinky lady, because she wants Beast’s bulge something awful. They could really get into some crazy business behind those big bedroom doors. And we can’t blame Beast either. Belle is one sexy woman.
While Belle is pretty much perfect, Jasmine will not stand idly by and let her be overrun.
The Aladdinbabe is simply gorgeous. That dark skin, those big brown eyes and big lips, long, bouncy hair, and that amazing figure make your heart melt and some other things grow.
She has a very tough personality. It’s like she’s a big tease. She exposes most of her upper body to you, but her aggressive attitude will keep you at bay unless you are a poor, heroic, homeless guy.
But she can also be very sexy, and she has such a perfect, seductive voice to go with it. Fortunately, she puts on this unbelievably sexy act multiple times in her series. Just everything about her is hot.
Did I mention how amazing her body is?
Little is left to the imagination on her fine hourglass figure, and really it looks like if her pants were real, they’d be totally see through. If you do manage to break down her defenses and score this perfect catch, you wouldn’t have to work hard in the slightest to undress her. One light tug and those pants and top are coming right off. Heck, if the desert she lives in wasn’t so dry, a gust of wind would probably get her naked, which is something we would all like to see.
So both of these contestants are beautiful, inside and out, and also have a darker, sexy and arousing side to them. So who is the better of such attributes?
And here we are with another Tournament of Hotties, this time nothing Power Ranger related! Instead, I gathered the 16 hottest women I could think of. But not your everyday hot. These women cause you to think, “They can’t be human, they can’t be from this planet. No human being from Earth could be this hot.”
Now I am sure there are plenty of hotter women out there, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head, and I am sure they look quite normal when they don’t have all that make up on either. But that is not the point. These girls are just so inhumanly hot that they must be recognized.
And as wonderful as these women are to look at, it is going to be quite a terrible experience to narrow them down to just 1 that is the hottest of all. How could anyone choose?
Also take note that this has nothing to do with how these women currently look, but is more how hot they were at some point in their lives.
So without further ado, let us begin Round 1.
Dang…just dang…Right off the bat are two magnificent hotties. Let’s start with the gorgeous blond Tara Reid.
I first discovered this sexy lady in the 1999 film, American Pie, where she looked like this…and please, click on these pictures to see each one bigger…
In this movie she wasn’t “inhumanly” hot, but her raspy voice is one of the sexiest things I have ever heard. Every word out of her mouth sounds like she is trying to seduce the person she is talking to, which makes every man wish they were on the receiving end of those words. I think they even mention in the TV show Scrubs, where she occasionally has a small role, how sexy her voice is. She looks amazing in that show as well.
And when she appears in American Pie 2, her hotness is multiplied. They even point this out, as the main character, Jim says, “And Vicky got hot!” Vicky being Tara’s character. And Jim could not be any more right. She is smoking hot in that film, looking more like this.
I think the only other thing I have seen her in is American Reunion, where she is also smoking hot, though age set in a tad, unfortunately. But any sane man and some edgy women would do her anyway.
In case you couldn’t tell from her pictures, she is like the definition of a gorgeous blond. Her body is flawless, she has long longs, a nice set of boobs with seemingly very perky nipples as evidenced here.
Those little guys are always trying to sneak through! Not to mention two of the pictures in the group above this one!!
So yeah, this girl is hot, unbelievably hot. Every molecule on her body rages sexiness and we can’t get enough. She is also the first girl I have ever seen fake an orgasm on television, and I thank her from the bottom of my heart. Her screams of pleasure through that raspy voice are something that can never be duplicated by anyone else.
And next we have hottie number two…Megan Fox!! The first time I laid eyes on this beauty was on an episode of Two and a Half Men. I believe this was before she was famous, for I had no idea who she was at the time, and no one else did either. All I knew is that when they showed some random girl in a bikini hanging out with the rest of the cast, I thought to myself, “That is the hottest girl I have ever seen.” The whole episode was about how hot this girl was and how everyone on the show was drooling over her. Their acting was top notch, because I can firmly say, everyone in real life was doing the same. Nobody that hot had ever been on television before.
This was a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg time ago too. She has done nothing but get hotter.
But what really made this amazing looking girl famous was that unforgettable “under the hood” scene from Transformers. You know what I’m talking about, the scene where she is looking under the hood of her car and they pan up her body.
Yeah…that one. I bet you during this scene in the theaters, the whole theater was filled with the sounds of rustling denim as every man adjusted themselves.
I only saw the movie once (not in theaters), years and years ago, and this is all I remember from it. And what else could you take away from it? The moment you see this, it is all you will ever see for the next 3 days!! The way her sexy brown hair falls over her scantily clad body is so sexy. I was skeptical about seeing the movie, and every time I heard about it or asked about it, all I ever heard was “Megan Fox is so hot!” And that is how she became world renowned. But it wasn’t for many years later that I found out this new name everyone was talking about was the same girl I had subliminally fallen in love with from Two and a Half Men.
Everything about her is perfect. Everything. Every time she moves, every time she speaks, even stinking blinks, her hotness infests your brain. I honestly don’t know how every man who has seen her in person isn’t in jail for sexual assault. How could anyone resist such beauty?
She is inhumanely hot and sexy and seems to have been born that way. Even without makeup I guarantee this girl is smokin’. I can’t even get over it. I wish I could meet someone 1/4 as hot as her. That girl would be by far and away the hottest person I’ve ever met.
So now the daunting deed must be committed. Which of these alienish women is hotter. The blond or the brunette?
It’s very close. Either one would fulfill any man’s wildest fantasies, but I would have to go with…
Now that I have shamed one of the hottest blonds of all time, let’s see what two amazingly hot women are next…
Well crap, two more impossibly hard to choose from women. Let’s start with Scarlett. The first movie I ever saw her in was The Avengers, where she played the role of the incredibly bad ass, yet amazingly sexy and impossibly hot Black Widow. In fact, the first scene you see her in, she’s in a black dress that she looks simply amazing in.
See? I told you so. Right then and there, I realized she was one of the hottest women on the planet.
She first appeared as the character in Iron Man 2, where she looked amazing, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say she was inhumanly hot, though she definitely was rocking the costume and was still gorgeous.
It wasn’t until Avenger’s that she reached such a high level of hotness, and hasn’t slowed down a bit. She’s every bit as gorgeous in any of the other movies she plays the role in, if not hotter.
I have never seen her in any other movie, in any other role other than Black Widow, so I find myself wondering if it is just the character that is so hot, or the actress?
Yeah…it’s the actress.
She is stunning no matter what she’s doing it seems. Wow, just beautiful. There is just such a tough, sexy look about her, yet a sort of innocence as well, like she isn’t trying to be sexy, it just radiates from her naturally. She’s got a nice rack too, so that’s nice.
And next we have the amazing beauty, Jessica Alba. The first movie I saw her in was Good Luck Chuck, and man was she gorgeous in it. One can’t help but fall in love with her looks as well as her charming, adorable personality. I haven’t seen many other movies with her in it, but the ones I have, she is always beautiful and sexy, and usually strips down to nearly nothing. An old co-worker of mine was so in love with her, he kept a copy of Into the Blueon his desk, a movie in which she appears on the cover like this…
I don’t blame him, she’s hot.
Everything she wears, she looks amazing in. As you can tell, she has a perfect body and looks especially amazing in bikinis.
But she looks great in underwear and leather as well. I’ve never met her, but based on things I have read about her and how she acts in movies, she is not only gorgeous on the outside, but on the inside as well, and that is bonus points, baby!
So which of these super women will move on to round 2? It is a close one, but this girl is a tad bit hotter…