Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 1, Part 3

Welcome back to part 3. Check out the first two groups of girls to battle it out in parts 1 & 2, and here we are with another batch of beauties!

 

Bout #13

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

anya

VS

corrine dufour

Corrine Dufour (Moonraker)

Again, two beautiful women. Anya looks incredible in that dress. It shows us enough to make us want to see more, no matter what we have to do to gaze upon the rest of that amazing body. Jeez what a tease.

Corrine looks incredible in that night gown. And speaking of teases, check out this…

corrineLook at that dip.

This is her work attire!

How is that professional?

I want to work there!

 

 

And I really feel bad for Bond here. This is the ultimate test of a man. moonraker-roger-moore-and-corinne-clery

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No mortal man would ever not look down at her chest at least twice in this conversation.

So we have a couple teasers with nice racks. Who is hotter? Why…this is quite easy. This woman is far more beautiful… almost irresistible even.

 

Victor

anya 2

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

 

Bout #14

 

Manuela (Moonraker)

manuela Moonraker-367

VS

Holly Goodhead

Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)

Neither of these woman really scream “hot!” and one I don’t find attractive at all. But both look good in what they are wearing, especially Manuela…that is a very sexy picture up there.

This is an easy pick.

 

Victor

holly goodhead 2

Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)

 

Bout #15

 

Countess Lisl von Schlaf

(For Your Eyes Only)

countess-lisl-gq

VS

melina-havelock

Melina Havelock (For Your Eyes Only)

This is a really, really tough one. Both of these woman are very beautiful. And the picture of the countess absolutely destroys the picture of Melina. If both women were displayed to you as they are in these pictures, every man would pick the countess I’m sure.

But Melina has a prettier face and also looks to be hiding quite a nice body.

Both of them have, great sexy hair as well.

When it all comes down to it, I think age plays the biggest deciding factor. Melina is much younger, and therefore just irks her way ahead. I wish I could see the Countess when she was younger…but still props to her for being a very hot older woman. We’d all love to reach inside that robe!

Victor

Melina_Havelock__Carole_Bouquet__-_Profile

Melina Havelock (For Your Eyes Only)

 

 

Bout #16

Magda (Octopussy)

 

magda

VS

James-Bond: Maud Adams in "Octopussy"

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

Well this is an annoying one. Both of these women are hot, but not by much. The really annoying part is that both of them are dressed so ridiculously sexy, showing off flawless bodies. It’s their faces that ruin these otherwise perfect specimens of woman.

Magda is absolutely stunning in that genie costume. Her body is tight and toned and looks like Bond could have quite the night with her.

Octopussy looks a bit older, but that robe is hiding something absolutely gorgeous. Her toned legs are some of the best I have ever seen, and what little is sneaking out of the robe looks to be like something we’d want to see more of.

 

What doesn’t help is all the sexy things Magda wears thoughout the movie, but I just don’t like her face at times. Dang it’s tough. Oh well, better go with.

Victor

octopussy

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

 

Bout #17

 

Kimberly Jones (A View To a Kill)

kim jones

VS

pola A-View-to-a-Kill-452

Pola Ivanova (A View To a Kill)

 

Both of these girls are okay. They are certainly good looking enough, but nothing special. It might be that smile Kimberly is giving that makes her face look not so great, and I don’t like Pola’s short hair.

But Pola has a much more beautiful face, and the fact that she’s naked doesn’t hurt, showing off what is most certainly an incredible body.

Victor

pola
Now that’s a much better smile than Kimberly’s.

 

Pola Ivanova (A View To a Kill)

 

Bout #18

 

May Day (A View To a Kill)

may day

VS

stacy sutton

Stacy Sutton (A View To a Kill)

 

This is an easy one. Stacy is a rather pretty woman, while May Day, sorry to say, looks like a man. Seriously, she reminds me of Wesley Snipes.

Victor

tanya-roberts-as-stacey-sutton-in-a-view-to-a-kill

Stacy Sutton (A View To a Kill)

 

Well, there’s another 12 down, but there’s still a lot more to get through. See you in part 4!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 2)

Welcome back to the tournament of impossibly hot women, where we will find in the end who the hottest woman on the planet is!

Catch up by checking out the links here.

And now… on with the next hotties.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Elizabeth Hurley

First up is Sara Jean Underwood, who as far as I know, has contributed mainly just her body to the fine folks of Earth. And really, that is the best gift she could offer. As a PlayBoy model, there is literally no shortage of jaw dropping pictures of this woman. So here, check them out, or rather, check her out.

 

 

 

Oh my goodness gracious. If you didn’t notice, this woman is a flawless beauty. Her toned body, nice ASSets and breast, combined with her blond hair and gorgeous face make her something to be desired…for all eternity. Knowing you live on the same planet as this woman and not getting to be with her, let alone see her, is literally Hell on Earth.

Well we saw the gorgeous youthful blond, but what about the older, yet unwavering beauty of the brunette, Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s check out how she’s doing!

 

 

 

Age has done nothing to slow this woman down, as far as her looks are concerned. She is almost every bit as hot now as she was 20-30 years ago. And for a woman in her 50’s, that makes her about 10x hotter right there. She is a goddess in her own right, and we should all bow to her beauty.

So which of these two women is the hottest? The younger blond, or the more mature brunette. As much as I don’t want to say this, it is this one, no contest.

Victor

sara jean underwood cover

Sara Jean Underwood

But seriously though. Elizabeth Hurley…super freakin’ hot…like… it’s baffling.

 

Next up is another brunette and blond!

 

 

Kim Kardashian

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Starting off with Kim, you might have noticed that she has an amazing body from the picture above, or of the tons of bikini photos of her from Round 1.

There is no shortage of hot photos of her, since she basically makes a living off of being hot. So let’s take a look at some of her work, shall we?

 

No matter what she is wearing, what she is doing, from modeling to walking down the street, this sexy woman looks fabulous. She is always picture ready, as evidenced here. Though anything that shows off that amazing body is always preferred.

To add to her appeal, she loves costumes, which is just sexy as hell.

 

Just smokin’ all the time. God dang.

In contrast to Kim’s dark sexiness is the shining beauty of Allie.

 

 

Unfortunately there aren’t quite as many pictures of her, which is a shame, because she is just gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to wear anything sexy for her to catch your eye. Her long, bright blond hair and innocent, beautiful face could easily do that. But if you do see her scantily clad, that’s all the better, for her body is perfection. She has such amazing curves on top of having a nice butt and boobs and well… having a nice everything.

If Angels are real things, then Allie DeBerry is certainly one of them. She just looks so beautiful, yet so untouchably good, that it would be a sin to lay hands on her divine body. But that is something no one could resist doing I imagine. So maybe she is more the apple in the Garden of Eden than an angel.

So both women here are absolutely stunning, with or without clothing. But who is the hotter one? This is a tough choice, but it will have to go to…

Victor

allie deberry skirt and bra on beach

Alexandria DeBerry

Look at that. She took down Kim and her half sister. That is something not many people can say. Especially when pertaining to straight looks.

 

Well there you have it. The four hottest women on Earth are about to battle it out in the semi finals! Make sure to check it out!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 1)

Welcome to Round 2! Check out Round 1 listed here. We have 8 women left standing to bash their beauty on our willing eyes! But only four will advance…who will it be?

 

 

 

Megan Fox

VS

Jessica Alba

 

Let’s start with the unbelievably hot Megan Fox. She has been around for a while now, and has gotten nothing but hotter I think. She was recently in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and made the character of April O’Neil unbelievably sexy.

april 3

Man, even in a yellow jacket and nothing revealing at all, she is smoking hot. I mean, seriously, she is just scratching her head and makes it seem like the sexiest thing on the planet.

In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, they really are kind to the viewers to give us this display of her.

april 4

This picture is basically every man’s wet dream. In fact, the whole movie feels like it’s her posing and just being super hot. And in case this isn’t your wet dream, then maybe these are…

 

Her posture, her expressions, her body, all fabulous. What’s that? Her body is too covered in these shots? Perhaps you are right. Here ya go!

 

Perfection at it’s finest!!

 

I hope you didn’t spend yourself all on her, because next up is the beautiful Jessica Alba!

I first realized how impossibly hot she is in the movie Fantastic Four, where she is just absolutely glowing. It was after that I finally understood everyone’s obsession over her. That and when you see pictures like this, it’s hard not to be.

 

She’s another one who is gorgeous with her body covered, and drop dead gorgeous with it exposed. The fact that she seems to be a pure sweetheart adds to her hotness too! She has an amazing body, a beautiful face, and just a sexy aura about her.

So the only question is, who is hotter. Despite being presented with two women who shatter the hottie scale, this is a no brainer choice.

While both women are perfect in the looks department, particularly their bodies, this one just seems so much hotter somehow. Everything about her is far sexier, I don’t know why, but it is. And that is why she is the winner.

Victor

Megan Fox Bunk

Megan Fox

 

Don’t go away yet, two more hotties left to go!!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Joanie Brosas

Two long haired brunettes are next. Let’s take a look at the older, yet unfaltering beauty of Angelina Jolie.

The last movie I’ve seen her in was probably Mr. & Mrs. Smith, an awesome movie that is made better with just her mere presence in it. Mainly because she is so fine, and just so naturally over the top sexy.

And her wardrobe is killer in it.

 

This was the movie Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston to eventually marry her. I can’t say I really blame the guy. Acting like you are married to this hottie would only lead most men to strive to make that a reality.

Aside from all her movies, she is impossibly gorgeous just about all the time.

 

Her whole life has been one hot thrill ride for any who has laid eyes on her, and what I can only imagine as one of the greatest rides of all time if you got laid by her. Even her fake sex scenes show off that this woman would be something else in the sack. Well, here’s to dreaming!

And by the way, in the movie Alexander, you’ve never seen anyone look so good in a toga and other ancient articles of clothing.

angelina jolie alexander

Next up is the long haired, tall and slender, jaw dropping hottie cosplayer Joanie Brosas. I know nothing about her except that she is really just amazingly hot.

 

So yeah, her body has not a flaw on it, or a single trace of fat for that matter. She is lacking in the boob department because of this, where Angie is not at all. But she makes up for it everywhere else.

Both of these women are so hot, I don’t know how to choose. To make it more difficult, while Angie played Lara Croft, Joanie cosplayed her.

Let’s see the comparison!!

 

 

Both girls wear Lara’s wardrobe quite nicely, but anyone with eyes would realize that Joanie has an unfair advantage for wearing a barely legal version of it.

So now it is time to decide.

This woman’s body is 110% perfect. Every little inch of her. Each curve. Her beautiful hair and that adorable, gorgeous face. Both women are astonishing, but this one shines through…

Victor

Joanie Brosas Ash Ketchum behind

Joanie Brosas

Well there you have it! Megan Fox and Joanie Brosas will face off in the semi finals!

Check out part 2 to see who will join them!!

Keeping Up With The Kardashians Needs To Die

Start Rant

I have had the misfortune the past few Sunday nights (I think it was that day) of being in the same room while my wife made herself become dumber by joining every other girl I know, and I am assuming half of the world’s female population, that is, I’m hoping it is no more than half, in watching the somehow successful Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

So successful thathglkkh…Sorry I just fell off my chair. I just looked it up.

12

There are 12 seasons of this garbage. All I can ask myself is how? My faith in humanity and the future of this world died well over a decade ago, but I have been brought to new lows. This show is bad, and stupid, and really, really, bad. Oh and it’s also boring. So boring it should be banned from television and wiped from all the unfortunate souls who have seen or heard this.

I have only witnessed maybe a half hour collectively of the show since, I guess, season…cringe…12 started up, and within 10 seconds of listening to them drone on about literally nothing infuriates me to the point of wanting to burn down my house for having a television that had that show on stand in my living room. My house is tainted from the sound waves that carried the shows audio. That is something that you can not just wipe off people! It needs to be burned, and it needs to be purged and stomped from this earth. I need to burn the ashes of my house and then throw them in the ocean and evaporate said ocean with some amazing laser that delivers the direct heat of the sun and explodes…ok that’s enough.

It is just bad. For those lucky enough to have never seen it, or somehow managed to find wives and girlfriends who have not seen it, allow me to explain it. Don’t worry, it’s quite simple.

Imagine you, your siblings, and parents all have video cameras, which they probably do anyway. Now imagine someone was filming them ALL DAY with those cameras. Now edit them all together into an hour long show and whammo. You’ve got “Keeping Up With (Insert Last Name Here).” Oh yeah, but pretend you are millionaires, don’t have jobs or any real problems in your life.

I don’t know about you, but my life is not at all interesting enough to make a show about it, and I’m willing to bet yours isn’t either. But don’t let that stop you, because it sure didn’t get in the way of the Kardashians! Believe me when I tell you they do not have interesting lives at all.

AT ALL!!!!!!

Their lives are about as exciting as the color white

Let me take you through a few of the scenes I remember seeing, the few my memory did not repress completely. I would say spoilers ahead, but nothing happens in this show that anyone could possibly care about. But I obviously am wrong cause again, 12 seasons. Oh my god, I literally just got nauseous seeing that number again.

Hold on to your hats and hair extensions ladies and gentlemen, cause here comes the first scene in my scarred memory. Two of the girls sitting on the couch, and talking about…

EYE LASHES!

That’s right folks…eye lashes…I don’t remember the specifics of the conversation, but man, it had to last like around 2 minutes. That doesn’t sound like much, but 2 minutes of one conversation on television is a very long time. I had never been so bored in my life. I’d rather listen to two chickens cluck at each other every so often. It would have been more intelligent conversation than these two girls!

Girl on right is freaking out because she can’t see girl on lefts eyelashes. But maybe this is a good thing? Maybe her eye lashes are not worthy of television!!? Such is the mystery and draw of this show

 

Hey Reggie, do you think there is a god? And if so, why did he make everything taste like us? That really does not bode well for our survival…

And remember, I was not giving my full attention to this show. I was playing Pokemon on my 3DS or something in the same room, and suddenly I found myself wanting to jump in my game and strangle my Kanghaskan and his little baby in the pouch, that’s how aggravatingly boring it was.

Another part I remember is like an obscene amount of time spent on one of the women being so nervous about going to NYC for a fashion show or something. Oh no, it was an interview on some TV show. But one of them was nervous about a fashion show probably, don’t worry. Others complain about what to wear to such and such occasion, so and so didn’t defend her sister when someone disliked something on Facebook. You know, all the problems real people have, our day to day struggles just to get by and survive paycheck to check, if we even get one. Those problems somehow seem minute compared to our darling Kardashians. Clearly every viewer flocks to listen to them talk about the “problems,” so that they can feel better about their own. Our lives are so much better than these poor women that I feel truly blessed at how we benefit from the wealth in this country.

 

 

 

But to really sum up the show for you, here is what happens. They lounge around in their various mansions, talk, go out to some fancy restaurant while they talk about what they want to order. If we are really lucky, we get to watch them eat it too! And they talk in between mouthfuls of course.

Then they are back on their couches that probably cost more than my car, in their fancy clothes that cost more than my house, and guess what talk…or if they really want to change things up, they all sit around and look at Facebook on their cell phones. Now let me tell you, you have never seen anything quite so dramatic and fierce as a bunch of girls looking at phones…unless you went to school in the past 15 years or pretty much have gone to any social gathering in the same time frame.

Then to really stir the pot, someone’s boyfriend might show up, and then they either talk, or go out to eat. The suspense on which they will choose is nerve racking. I mean, it’s a complete toss up! Who knows!? And the best part is, maybe Kanye West, one of the worst rappers alive, and possibly the dumbest and most conceited man I have ever read about, maybe, just maybe, will show up. I really have no idea though. Spoiler free there!!!

The only okay thing about this show is that the 3, 4, 5…? starring girls, (not the mom and her husband trying to be a girl) are all rather pleasant to look at.

Don’t Worry Boys and Girls, There’s Plenty Of Cleavage To Go Round

 

Though if I had as much plastic surgery as some of them have and spent 4 hours putting 13 pounds of makeup on, or rather, probably have someone else do it for me, then I imagine I would be pretty smokin’ too.

I want to cry when I think how much money we make for them, though admittedly they do make plenty for themselves too.

All I can say is that Kardashian is not recognized by my spell check, so there is peace of mind that at least my computer has not heard of them. Phew…

End Rant

 

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