Jurassic Park Series Ranked

Thanks to an Amazon Prime Day sale, I finally was able to see all the Jurassic Park movies. Having only seen the first two several times way back in the 90’s, and Jurassic World a few years ago, I’ve always wanted to see the entire series again in this millennium. Plus I’ve wanted to see the third one since I heard it was coming out. It took 15 years, but I finally did! Oh yeah, and the fifth one too. I didn’t have to wait too long for that one.

Any who, here are all five movies ranked from my least favorite to most favorite! See how it compares to your own opinion!

#5 Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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This is a good movie, it just kind of went in a weird direction, what with auctioning off dinosaurs like they are sex slaves or something. Though it makes sense, since it builds off of a story in it’s prequel. It just feels very different, since they are not roaming around in a dinosaur habitat, with all that lovely suspense that comes with it.

Also, I’m not sure if the Jurassic World movies only acknowledge the first movie, because when they are trying to clear out the island, they have to find some other island that the dinosaurs can live on, and no one seems to mention the fact that there already is an entire island with self-sustaining dinosaurs on it…

#4 Jurassic Park

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There is nothing wrong with this movie, but something about it seemed lacking. I guess because this is more of a suspenseful, almost horror-like film, it seems kind of slower-paced. Or maybe I was just adjusting to the style of Jurassic Park, where all the carnivores seem to exist for the sole-purpose of devouring everything in sight, whether they are hungry or not. That and the ludicrous idea that these animals could actually survive in today’s environment/climate was hard to swallow at first. But really that’s not the point, and scientific facts should not take away from this movie.

The effects are absolutely incredible for a movie made in the early 90’s, and they still look great today. So props to the crew on that one!

#3 Jurassic Park III

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This movie changes up the formula a bit, and pretty much is an edge-of-your-seat non-stop action movie, featuring several dinosaurs never seen in the first two movies. It’s super intense, and a lot of fun.

#2 Jurassic World

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This one takes Jurassic Park a bit further, as the name “World” implies. As the first three movies focus on the idea of a park that fails miserably, this movie shows us a successful up-and-running park for the first time, where humans have more control and understanding of dinosaurs. It also takes the creation of dinosaurs a few steps further. Combine these two factors and you’ve got a recipe for ultimate disaster. This movie probably has the highest amount of deaths in it and the most fearsome dinosaur in the whole series as a result.

#1 Lost World: Jurassic Park

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This movie is basically just an improvement on the first movie. It does everything that movie did, and just makes it bigger and better. It has big action scenes with a lot of terrifying moments mixed in. There are more dinosaurs, both fearsome and gentle, and we get to see a T-Rex rampage through San Diego, which is pretty awesome. To me, this is the perfect Jurassic Park movie.

The thing is, all these parks would have been successful if it wasn’t for human greed. All the problems come from dirtbag humans trying to score big off of dinosaurs in illegal ways… more or less. It’s like the series is trying to tell us that the original rulers of this planet need to come back and cause the extinction of the blight that is humanity.

Aaaaannnndd, I just found out they’re making a sixth one. Mother f’er, who knows how long it’s going to take me to see that one…

My Top 10 Animated Disney Films

In conjunction with my post last week, where I ranked my roughly 10 favorite live-action Disney films, now I will be ranking my 10 favorite animated ones. I expect most of them to be the old classics I grew up watching, but we shall see!

 

 

#10 Oliver and Company (1988)

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Disney’s take on Oliver Twist, this focuses on an adopted cat who gets lost and is taken in by a hobo and his ragtag band of thieving dogs, all the while battling a deadly loan shark who wants them all dead. There’s love, great songs, and ransom in this exciting tale!

 

#9 Bolt (2008)

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This is about an adorable action-star doggy who essentially gets lost and has to make his way out in the real world. Circumstances force him to see if he really has the stuff that he pretends to have in the movies. A massive test of character if you will.

 

#8 The Princess and the Frog (2009)

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An interesting take on the old children’s story, when Tiana, who is mistaken for a princess, is convinced to kiss a prince who’s been turned into a frog, but winds up a frog herself. Then the two go on an intense adventure both in personal growth, and survival. There are a lot of great characters, very sad moments, as well as heart-warming ones, and a lot of great songs, mostly focused around that awesome New Orleans sound.

 

#7 The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride (1998)

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This movie focuses on Nala and Simba’s child, as well as the offspring of Scar. It’s essentially Romeo and Juliet…with lions. And it’s great. The songs are ridiculously good in it.

 

#6 The Lion King (1994)

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A tale about Simba, a lion prince who’s blamed for the death of his father and tricked into running away, where he’s content spending the rest of his life living with a warthog and a prairie dog until he is convinced to face his destiny by his starving ex-girlfriend. He must return to his old kingdom and retake it from his bloodthirsty uncle, all the while clearing his own name. Simba also gets beat up by a baboon for good measure.

 

#5 Wreck-It Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018)

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This movie is a lot of fun, and completely destroys it’s prequel. The character’s are all energetic and exciting to watch, the jokes are mostly hilarious, and having all the Disney princesses together is incredible.

 

 

#4 The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

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This is a sequel about two mice who work for an organization that work to help children. In this case, they need to free a child from a psychotic poacher who’s hell bent on killing some fancy, endangered eagle. Oh, and the kid too, who happens to be the eagle’s friend. Not to worry little boy, some rodent pests are on the job! It sounds silly, but it’s really good.

 

#3 The Rescuers (1977)

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This movie is really stinking dark. The entire setting, tone, themes, music. It’s all extremely dark and depressing. It’s about two mice who volunteer at an organization that helps kids in need. They embark on a dangerous journey to help an orphan who is adopted strictly for slave labor to mine in a cave that gets flooded at high tide. She is guarded by alligators, and when she is no longer needed, she’s left to die. It’s really a depressing and fantastic movie.

 

#2 Aladdin (1992)

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A homeless guy who’s only friend is a monkey is tricked by a sorcerer to find a lamp. He is left to die, but manages to steal the loot, which happens to contain a genie. After some intense life events, the homeless guy ends up nailing the hottest woman ever. All in all a very solid movie.

 

#1 Tangled (2010)

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This movie really surprised me. Every single character is great, even the villain. Rapunzel is absolutely adorable and innocent. She’s been locked in a tower her whole life, so virtually knows nothing about the world, until a wanted criminal with a moody horse accidentally find her, and after a bunch of intense and hilarious events, Rapunzel learns about her life that was robbed from her as a baby, as well as a few other things about life in general. This is seriously a great movie, very funny and entertaining.

Well, there you have it. So most of them I grew up watching. I am amazed that my favorite one actually came out when I was in college. I’m glad to know Disney is still making quality stuff after all these years.