Series Ranked: Star Wars Lightsaber Duels

I would love to do a series ranked on the actual Star Wars movies, but my opinion of which I like better than others always changes each time I watch them all, so it is kind of impossible to do. So instead, I will rank all the lightsabers duels from worst to best, as that is more clear cut.

#13

Luke Skywalker Vs Darth Vader

The Empire Strikes Back

Dagobah

lukevaderdag

This isn’t a real fight, but a quick test of Yoda’s that I still don’t understand 25 years later. But I just put it in to be thorough. Their sabers clash twice and it’s over.

#12

Obi-Wan Kenobi Vs Darth Vader

A New Hope

Death Star

star-wars-episode-iv-obi-wan-kenobi-vs-darth-vader

The first duel to ever take place on film between two Jedi. An amazing feat for the 70’s, but it really is rather dull. But given that it is the first, it is excusable. These two have clearly gotten rusty in the past 20 years.

#11

Obi-Wan Kenobi Vs General Grievous

Revenge of the Sith

Utapau

obigriev

This is a different type of fight due to Greivous being more droid than man. This actually benefits him as he is able to do nifty things real people can’t. But this proves no match for actual training it seems, as the whole scene is very short and really shows off Obi-Wan’s skills.

#10

Qui-Gon Jinn Vs Darth Maul

The Phantom Menace

Tatooine

quimaul

This is the first fight made after the original trilogy and it does not disappoint. It is an intense fight that showcases both duelers superb abilities. The only reason it is this low on the list is because it is sadly, very short.

#9

Luke Skywalker Vs Darth Vader

The Empire Strikes Back

Bespin

lukebespin

The second saber duel in the original trilogy is a vast improvement over the first. They show off force aided combat for the first time, even if it looks a little silly at times, but it is cool to watch nonetheless. I very much like how Vader is toying with Luke at first, but Luke seems to improve the more he fights, thus Vader had to put some effort in to beat him.

#8

Mace Windu and co. Vs Darth Sidious

Revenge of the Sith

Coruscant

Coruscant_Duel

At long last we get to see what Palpatine and Mace can do. It’s pretty awesome, but probably could have been better. Sidious kills 3 people who don’t even fight back…this could have been choreographed much better. Windu then shows off why he is called the most powerful Jedi with a saber, beating him almost easily. Some nice use of the dark side makes this a very important scene as well.

#7

Luke Skywalker Vs Darth Vader

Return of the Jedi

Death Star

lukevaderjed

This is an intense duel between father and son, aided with great music accompaniment. While not that thrilling of a fight, the emotion behind it makes it very good, as well as Luke calling upon the dark side to win, but not giving into it.

#6

Fin/Rey Vs Kylo Ren

The Force Awakens

Starkiller Base

rey kylo

This is a good fight. It gives us some nice action, though it is not nearly as exciting as the prequel fights. Though since none of the combatants are trained nearly as well as the Jedis of the past, and really, not at all for two of them, it makes sense. Kylo demonstrates his training by easily defeating Fin. Rey demonstrates how ungodly powerful she is by using both light and dark force. A cool use of scenery and lighting really add to the scene too.

#5

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker Followed By Yoda Vs Darth Tyranus

Attack of the Clones

Geonosis

YodaDooku

This is technically two fights, but since they are back to back and against the same Sith Lord, I’m throwing them in as one. When Obi-Wan and Anakin fight him, they get completely destroyed. There’s a cool light trick in the dark that is fun to watch, but otherwise is nothing that spectacular. And then Yoda comes along and fulfills everything I ever dreamed of. He easily overpowers Tyranus’ force powers and then proceeds to do some of the most amazing stunts in history, forcing Tyranus to retreat. Just awesome.

#4

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker

Vs Darth Tyranus

Revenge of the Sith

Invisible Hand

Dookuepisodeiii

This rematch is much more thrilling and shows Anakin favor the dark side considerably.

#3

Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi Vs Darth Maul

The Phantom Menace

Naboo

maul2

This is an amazing fight. Darth Maul, with his double-sided lightsaber pulls off some crazy stunts. The two Jedi do all they can to defend against him and it makes some amazing entertainment. Things really kick up a notch when Obi-Wan takes him alone, showing off what a great Jedi he will eventually become.

#2

Yoda Vs Darth Sidious

Revenge of the Sith

Coruscant

yodapalp

The most powerful Jedi faces off with the most powerful Sith, another thing I wanted to see my whole life, and it did not disappoint. A great saber battle gives way to a match in force powers with fun use of scenery. Yoda seems to be the stronger of the two, but due to some bad luck the Republic falls and all the Jedi die.

#1

Obi-Wan Kenobi Vs Darth Vader

Revenge of the Sith

Mustafar

obiani

Damn…just damn. This is by far and away the most amazing duel ever. Great setting, great choreography, great mood, high stakes. It’s all there. The fact that they use the exact same fighting style showing off how much Vader learned from Obi-Wan is so cool. They are essentially equally matched, but Obi-Wan keeps a “cooler” head and comes out victorious.

 

And there you have it! I hope there will be plenty of more saber battles in the future, which is why I desperately wish they move away from the spin offs taking place between 3 and 4 and do something more with Jedi.

Either way, I absolutely love every Star Wars movie and can’t wait for The Last Jedi!

star-war-fea

 

 

 

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Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 3)

Okay everybody, let’s jump right to the hotties! But if you need to, check out Round 1 Part 1, and Part 2.

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Ciara Hanna

First off in Round 1 Part 3 are two of the hottest blondes you will likely ever lay eyes on. The hard part today is to decide which is hotter.

Let’s start with Sara. I first laid eyes upon this gorgeous woman when I was looking up something about one of the new Star Wars movies, and by some miracle, I came across this picture.

Sara-Jean-Underwood-Padme-Amidala-Cosplay-1Now it is not every day you find someone who looks hotter than Natalie Portman did in the same costume. I immediately fell in love with this woman. To my great delight, pictures such as these were attached to this one…

My first thought was she was a cosplayer, until I saw the car wash photos. That led me to believe she was a beautiful person who had an outstanding body that she loved to show off, and did so in a charitable way, while also conveniently having a bunch of friends who didn’t mind dressing super scantily and washing cars at the same time either. This provided a great service to their customers, who not only went home with a clean car, but an erection as well! What nice girls!!

Well obviously this must be some kind of fundraiser of sorts with Star Wars somehow involved. Whatever the reason, I decided to look more into this girl that had me so entranced. Was it because of her perfect body, beautiful face and charitable, helpful character, or was it because I love Star Wars just as much as nice, beautiful women? Perhaps putting both together was a match made in a heaven?

Anyway, this is what I found.

Turns out she’s a PlayBoy model. Having never looked at one of those magazines, I must admit, I am curious if they all look as good as her. But I seriously doubt it. This girl has an absolutely superb body, and a face that looks kind, sweet and fun. She looks like the type of girl you could get lost with all night, and then bring home to meet your mother. Until what she does for a living comes up anyway.

Oh and in case you were wondering, she looks amazing as Leia too.

sara-jean-underwood-star-wars-play-boy-photoshoot_1
Eat your hearts out…

 

 

 

Next we have an equally beautiful and precious looking woman, Ciara Hanna, making her second appearance in a Tournament Of Hotties, but this time as herself and not as a character she played. Which is exactly how I came to learn about her. She was the yellow ranger in the Power Rangers: Megaforce series. She was really quite beautiful in the show, but it wasn’t until I was looking up pictures of her for the first Tournament of Hotties that I learned she is one of the most beautiful, sexy, cute, gorgeous, adorable, sweet, amazing…I’m running out of adjectives. Enough jibber jabber, just look at some pictures of her…

Oh man, she just looks like the biggest sweetie and sex muffin! I don’t know if I want to hug her or do something more private. But let’s face it. We’d all pick both. Another girl you would take home to meet the family, but you couldn’t wait to live so you could have your way with her.

Everything about her is so perfect and sexy, yet cute and sweet. But what really gets me is when those sexy lips placed upon that beautiful face curve into a smile.

I love her sexy, wavy hair too…and her eyes…everything…

This might be one of the hardest to choose from in the tournament thus far. It seems a crime that one of these perfect blondes must be eliminated, but I must persevere and choose one.

 

Victor

Sara Jean Underwood Black Bra

Sara Jean Underwood

 

Moving away from blondes, we have two brunettes in the running!

Elizabeth Hurley

VS

Kristen Stewart

 

elizabeth_hurley_07The tall, slender large breasted woman known as Elizabeth Hurley may be one of my earliest crushes. I first saw her in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, where her sexy accent and perfect body charmed the pants off of everyone. The humorous censor scenes, aside from making me laugh, just showed how hot this woman was, not to mention how big her boobs are. Everything from her hair down to her futuristic styled boots is enough to make anyone start drooling. You really couldn’t blame Austin for trying to “shag” her the whole movie. No one else would be able to resist her either.

But it wasn’t until I saw Bedazzled that I considered her one of the most beautiful women on the planet, for she is so impossibly hot. In this movie, she plays the Devil. And this fact alone makes it an interesting movie. If the Devil looked like this…

then I am willing to bet just about everyone would sell their soul to her. The torture would be the “look but don’t touch rule” on this babe for all eternity. As you can tell, Elizabeth is nothing short of perfection. Ugh…just look at that body. Beautiful…so slim and toned…she’s as hot as the fires of hell…I know…I know…I had to say it.

She is getting on in years now, which is a blow to us all, but even still she looks nothing short of fabulous.

Any sane person would jump at the chance to get in on some of that, 20 years ago or now.

 

Next up is Kristen Stewart. I imagine I discovered her the same time everyone else in the world did. I remember it all too clearly. I visited my buddy in college and we were bored one night so we decided to go down to the auditorium where they were having a movie night. It was some movie none of us ever heard of, but we figured we’d watch it anyway. When we walked into the auditorium, I immediately noticed we were the only guys in there, never a good sign.

That’s right, you guessed it. That movie was Twilight. We had never heard of it and never knew it was this huge book/movie business. Anyway, the movie was basically awful. Except for the lead actress, Kristen. She was a hottie. She made most of the movie somewhat enjoyable just because of her looks. But after the movie ended, I forgot all about her until years later when I saw some pictures of her. It may have been these ones in fact.

She had become older and more mature and something about her just blew me away. Yeah, she has a perfect body, no doubt, sexy attitude and hot hair, but that isn’t what really gets me, it’s that face of hers. It is just so entrancing and wonderful.

I just can’t explain it, it just makes my heart melt. Maybe it’s because she dresses most of the time in regular clothing, and looks like a normal person most of the time, not some big shot celebrity. I don’t know. I don’t think I have a “type.” Maybe she’s it?

And speaking of the way she dresses, she looks amazing in everything. No matter what she dons, she is just tipping over the hottie scale.

Wow, she is just a steaming hottie, hot enough to take on the Devil herself. I don’t know what it is, it might be all her vampirey witch craft or whatever, but she definitely has me under some spell.

And she’s bisexual, which is huge points in my book.

So which of these two perfect women is hotter? It’s hard to say. Kristen is more my age, so maybe that’s why I feel some weird cyber connection with her. Elizabeth Hurley is much older, but still competes with Kristen any day. Decisions, decisions. I will have to give it to…

Victor

elizabeth hurley red dress

Elizabeth Hurley

Sara Jean Underwood and Elizabeth Hurley move on to Round 2! Their victories are bitter sweet, for Ciara and Kristen both are such sweet contestants I could totally get along with.

See you next time for the conclusion of Round 1!