Kingdom Hearts Series Ranked

In celebration of the extremely long awaited Kingdom Hearts III (it’s hard to believe it’s nearly here) I am going to rank all the games from worst to best in my opinion. I will just be listing the base games, not all the Re:this or that or Final Mix versions and compilation games.

So without further ado, here we go!

#9

Kingdom Hearts Unchained X

2016, Mobile

Times Beaten- N/A

This is a mobile phone game where you collect and upgrade medals of characters from Kingdom Hearts, Disney, and Final Fantasy. You use these medals to perform special attacks. The more powerful you become, the more quests you can take on and the more rewards you will reap. It is a never ending soul sucking game, but I continue to play it everyday…such is my devotion to Kingdom Hearts. For a free to play game, the devs are extremely generous in giving you a lot of stuff, and overall, it’s probably the best mobile game out there.

#8

Kingdom Hearts .2 Birth By Sleep

– A fragmentary passage-

2017, PlayStation 4

Times Beaten- 1

This is a brand new entry included in Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (rolls right off the tongue) that takes place right after Birth By Sleep and uncovers a lot of mysteries leading up to Kingdom Hearts 1. Well some mysteries anyway.

This is actually a fantastic game, which really gives us a taste of what to expect from Kingdom Hearts III. The only reason it is so low on the list is because of how short it is (less than 3 hours).

#7

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

GameBoy Advanced, 2004- PlayStation 2, 2008

Times Beaten- GBA 2, PS2, 2

This, gameplay wise, is not very fun. The game itself is very long, especially with the Riku story. It wouldn’t be so bad if the card system was better, but it is so annoying to have your cards broken all the time, making the game very grindy and monotonous. The story is very interesting however, which makes it all worth it, taking place immediately after the first game.

#6

Kingdom Hearts Re: Coded

DS, 2011

Times Beaten- 1

Taking place right after KH2, this takes us on a very unusual journey with some rather differentish gameplay. I wasn’t all that crazy about this one, and the story did little for the overall arc.

#5

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

DS, 2009

Times Beaten- 2

This is where the games really start to get incredible. This varies the gameplay up a bit, having you run missions for Organization XIII. There’s an awesome multiplayer where you can play as all the members, and the story, which takes place during the later end of 1, all of CoM and leads directly into 2, fills in a whole lot of confusing things that occur during CoM and especially 2. And the game is incredibly fun to boot!

#4

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 2

Taking place after Re:Coded, this one takes us right up into KH3. The gameplay is quite good, the story rather mindblowing, and the dream eaters…meh…Fortunately the game is so stinking fun it’s easy to forget about the constant care of those needy creatures. And for the first time, you switch off between playing as Sora and Riku, which is most welcome.

#3

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

PlayStation Portable, 2010

Times Beaten- 4

I have easily put the most time into this game. Taking place like 10 years before the first game, you play as 3 wannabe keyblade masters and experience how each of them is set on a different path that leads to nowhere good. The story, gameplay, and skill customization is wonderful. This is the reason I bought a PSP and have no regrets.

#2

Kingdom Hearts

PlayStation 2, 2002

Times Beaten- Around 5

I can still remember playing this for the first time after refusing to have any interest in it for over a year. When my brother convinced me to play it, I fell in love immediately. The story gripped me so, the Disney characters were awesome, seeing them kill stuff was even more awesome.

As far as gameplay goes, this has some of the worst in the series, but it still holds up enough. It was the first in the series so it gets a break. It’s still a great game and one I still get excited about playing.

#1

Kingdom Hearts II

PlayStation 2, 2005

Times Beaten- Around 4

This is by far and away the best game in the series. The gameplay is absolutely perfect. There are so many abilities to use that keep it fresh, but even just mashing the X button is highly satisfying. The story is as wonderful as ever, leaving us all dying to see what happens next, until Re: Coded came out that is. This is definitely a masterpiece to go down in history.

And that’s it! I can’t believe we are like 2 weeks away from finally seeing the conclusion to what is my favorite story of all time, and if the gameplay is anything like 2, it will likely be at the top of this list. And let’s face it, the trailers make it look like it’s one of the best games ever made.

If you have never played these games, I highly recommend getting the story so far compilation and prepare to have your mind blown with exceptional gameplay and a crazy, amazing story.

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Tournament Of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Round 1, Part 1)

I’m back with another tournament of gorgeous women, but this time we’re gonna feed our fictional fantasies. These princesses might be popular for being royalty and starring in big movies and the like, but they are also hot, and damn it, we want to know who the hottest of the hot are.

I am going to be going all out and using all sorts of Disney females of royal caliber, even a few I have never heard of before. Note that no matter what we see on these pages, I will be judging them on how they look in their respective movies.

So let’s get to it!!

Snow White VS Cinderella

Our oldest Disney princess is Snow White, but she doesn’t look a day over 20. She also isn’t much in the looks department at all. Her dress is unflattering, she’s kind of a ditz, and honestly, there isn’t anything to gawk at. But according to the Magic Mirror, she is the most beautiful woman in all the lands. Well, if that is true, then I’d hate to see the other women in whatever lands she is from.cinderella_eu_princess_pi_storybook_r_8e1944df

Cinderella, on the other hand, is a hot blond, though she doesn’t wear anything sexy, unless you are into rags.

She is obviously a very beautiful woman with a bangin’ bod. And as a bonus, she cooks, cleans and can talk to animals, so who wouldn’t want that in a woman?

So the winner here is obvious, but I would like to share with you a picture I have located that someone drew that does in fact, make Snow White look quite sexy.

Snow White Bra and skirt

Too bad you don’t shape up like that in the movie.

Victor-Cinderella

cinderella

 

 

Next up is a heavy sleeper and an avid swimmer!

Aurora VS Ariel

Aurora is an attractive blond, with her wild hair, petite body and shy nature, she’s enough to make any guy chase after her. The title of her movie even calls her hot…sort of. Heck, in Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, one of the characters you play as wants to bang the sleeping broad.

 

sleeping-beauty-disneyscreencaps-com-1992
I mean, look at that look. You couldn’t say no to that. She’s a sly fox, she is.

 

Sleeping-beauty-disneyscreencaps.com-4287
And I’m sure you can figure out something to do with her in this picture.

 

And next we have the gorgeous little mermaid, princess of the seas, Ariel! Sure, she’s half marlin, but that doesn’t mean her human half isn’t one of the hottest sights on the seven seas!

Any woman, half a fish or not, that wears a bra made out of sea shells as their everyday clothing, showing off their perfect body, is a welcome sight to me.

ariel wave
The waves here are an accurate portrayal of an inevitable explosion that would occur from a dripping wet, near naked woman with her mouth wide open, kneeling down on a rock and looking at you.

And when that long red hair is floating around underwater, phew, it gets pretty bubbly, if you know what I mean.

And with two beautiful women this time around, who to vote for?

Ariel takes the trout. Aurora has a great body no doubt, but she doesn’t flaunt it. Ariel has no shame. She shows us what she’s got, and we like.

Victor-Ariel

ariel-little-mermaid-ariel_pisces-39985040-1148-760

 

Next up are two more amazingly drawn hotties.

Belle VS Jasmine

Here we have a gorgeous French bookworm facing off against a beautiful Arabian princess.

Belle is not born a princess, but is married into it the role as implied in Beauty and the Beast. Not only does Belle score a 10 out of 10 in both the looks and brains department, but also in personality. She is a kind and gentle, unbelievably caring woman, but also can be fierce and fearless. She must also be one kinky lady, because she wants Beast’s bulge something awful. They could really get into some crazy business behind those big bedroom doors. And we can’t blame Beast either. Belle is one sexy woman.

beauty_and_the_beast_2010_by_j_scott_campbell-d2z2pqg

While Belle is pretty much perfect, Jasmine will not stand idly by and let her be overrun.

jasmine 2

 

The Aladdin babe is simply gorgeous. That dark skin, those big brown eyes and big lips,  long, bouncy hair, and that amazing figure make your heart melt and some other things grow.

She has a very tough personality. It’s like she’s a big tease. She exposes most of her upper body to you, but her aggressive attitude will keep you at bay unless you are a poor, heroic, homeless guy.

But she can also be very sexy, and she has such a perfect, seductive voice to go with it. Fortunately, she puts on this unbelievably sexy act multiple times in her series. Just everything about her is hot.

Did I mention how amazing her body is?

Little is left to the imagination on her fine hourglass figure, and really it looks like if her pants were real, they’d be totally see through. If you do manage to break down her defenses and score this perfect catch, you wouldn’t have to work hard in the slightest to undress her. One light tug and those pants and top are coming right off. Heck, if the desert she lives in wasn’t so dry, a gust of wind would probably get her naked, which is something we would all like to see.

So both of these contestants are beautiful, inside and out, and also have a darker, sexy and arousing side to them. So who is the better of such attributes?

Victor-Jasmine

Jasmine_Pose

Look for Part 2 of Round 1 coming soon!