Rubbernecking Should Be Considered A Capital Offense

I am so sick of sitting in traffic. It’s bad enough from commuter traffic, but it gets multiplied when an accident or road work happens. Okay. I get it, it’s annoying as all Hell, but what am I going to do?

But when the accident is on the other side of a highway, and we still sit in traffic for 30 minutes, that’s where the line must be drawn.

Every so often I sit in this “rubbernecking” traffic, and I seriously can’t wrap my head around that this is a thing.

For instance, the other day I was on the most major highway in my part of the state, and was in traffic forever, during regular rush-hour traffic to begin with, only to find it was because there was some sort of accident on the other side of the highway.

As I finally got to this traffic point of origin, I was completely baffled to see cars slowing down to a coasting 10-20 mph and just trying to see what was going on. When they had their fill, they sped off, and then the cars behind them would do the same. And this was happening in all 5 lanes! Just f*ing drive you stinking idiots!!! And the best part was, it was dark out and you couldn’t see anything to begin with!

Why do I and other decent people have to be late for work because you’re plain dumb?

I’ve seen people actually stop at accidents or car fires…that’s right, stop, in the left two lanes, get out of their cars and start taking pictures. Is your life that pathetic that mangled cars and injured persons is the most exciting thing in your life?

When I was a volunteer firefighter, I always made sure to yell at and move along any stupid people who would stop to gaze like a bunch of dreamy-eyed assholes at scenes we were working on. That’s right, it bothers me even when I’m not driving.

They need to have police go on the opposite side of a highway where an accident is and apprehend any driver who rubbernecks. Arrest every single one of them, and then give them the ultimate punishment.

If they want to rubberneck, then their necks should be twisted until broken, then their bodies should be placed in their cars and melted down so that their good-for-nothing lives and their cars that they failed to drive correctly can actually contribute to something positive in this world.

This might seem a little harsh, but rubbernecking is about as stupid and offensive as most crimes out there, if not more so, and you give up any and all value to your life when doing it.

 

I Want To Punch The Voice Mail Lady In the Face

You know when you call someone, and they don’t pick up, it sends you to voice mail. Now I am talking about those who don’t use there own custom message. Some people’s phones ring 4 times, some people’s like 12. So you sit through the rings for 2 minutes, finally getting voice mail. Then that bitch lady finally says something along the lines of, “we’re sorry,”

First off, whose “we?” I’m calling one person, they’re not talking to me. This lady voice is. Is there more than one bodiless voice listening in? How does that work?

Anyway, then it slowly spells out the number, again, if the phone owner doesn’t input their name here. Yes thank you bastard lady, I’m glad you told me the number I dialed. Like I’m gonna know if it’s the right number or not. No one remembers numbers anymore. Everything is all electronic or digital. It’s all in our phones already, we just need to press a button to make a call.

Then the lady has to tell us how to leave a message just as slowly. As if no one has ever left a message before. It isn’t exactly rocket science folks! And then sometimes it gives you the choice to leave a call back number.

WHAT THE FLUFF FOR!!?!?!?!?!?!!? It’s 2019! Your number shows up on every person you call, you dumb bitch!

After you sit through all of that, then it tells you, “or press 1 for more options.” What the hell do you need more options for? Has anyone ever actually pressed one for more options? It’s a god damn phone call. How many options do you need?

So 5 minutes later, you finally get to leave a god damned message, and I always sound pissed off on my messages because I am extremely impatient and by the time I hear that tone and can say what I have to say, I am completely irate.

This is how pathetic our race has become. We need complete and detailed instructions with several options available to leave a friggin’ message. And the worst part is, all that talking is in there, because people probably asked for it, or couldn’t figure it out, or something like that.

And what’s worse, depending on the phone, some people leave their own custom message, short or long, and then the lady starts her spiel, minus the spelling out the number, making it even longer sometimes.

Remember 20 years ago, when phones rang like 4-6 times, then “hi it’s so and so, leave a message after the beep,”

Those were the good old days. Of course I am talking about when they merged phone and answering machines and you didn’t have to replace tapes anymore.

The Problem With People Who Cut You Off

You know, aside from them cutting you off, forcing you to slam on your brakes, potentially bursting a brake line or rear ending the idiot because they pull out 25 feet in front of you when you are doing 60 mph.

But if that wasn’t bad enough, it seems like 90% of the time these a-holes then proceed to drive SLOW AS F@^K!!!

It almost never fails. They will sit there and do like 10-20 under the speed limit, and I have a feeling this is because they get ticked that you get a little too close to their car.

Oh…my bad…I just knocked six months off my brake pads to avoid not destroying you and your car. Now make me late to wherever I’m going for narrowly avoiding hitting you and causing you discomfort. I’m such a jerk.

So they are either the world’s biggest morons, or old. Either or, they suck and should be removed from existence.