Top 10 Game Boy Games

I’ve shown my 10 favorites games for the 3DS and DS, but now let’s take it back to the granddaddy of handheld systems, the Nintendo Game Boy. You remember it, right? That ugly gray, massive brick that took four AA batteries with the diarrhea colored graphics?

Despite its primitiveness, it still was home to many classic games that are still very fun to play even today, over 2 decades later. But which 10 are the best? Let’s find out!

I only have 19 Game Boy games, and only have played 16 of them. I don’t know, that’s just the way it goes. But of those 16, here are my 10 favorite. The developers and release year for each game will also be listed.

#10

 

gb_kid_icarus_myths_and_monsters_p_7s9lumKid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters

TOSE/Nintendo

1991

 

The sequel to Kid Icarus for NES, it had all the fun of the first game, but was way down scaled, making it a shorter and much easier game than the first.

#9

KDL2_BoxartKirby’s Dreamland 2

HAL Labs/Nintendo

1995

 

I still remember the first time I played this game. I loved the first game, but this took it up so many levels. With more powers and neat little friends to ride around on, the game was just so much better in every way.

#8

WarioLandBoxArtSuper Mario Land 3: Wario Land

Nintendo

1994

 

It’s not every day someone can say they stole not only the spotlight from Mario, but also the reins. Wario became such a popular villain, that he got his own Mario-esque platformer that was so good it rivaled Mario’s own games. It really is hard to say which is better, as far as Game Boy games are concerned.

#7

Super_Mario_Land_2_box_artSuper Mario Land 2

Nintendo

1992

 

After careful consideration, I found this game to be just a bit better than it’s sequel. This is the game that conceived Wario, which was awesome enough, but the fun, different power ups and unique worlds and levels are what really make this game shine.

#6

Donkey_Kong_Land_2_CoverartDonkey Kong Land 2

Rare Ltd./Nintendo

1996

 

What do you get when you take one of the best games ever made and slap it on Game Boy? An inferior, smaller version of course…that you can play anywhere! This is a much shorter version of the SNES game, but is still a whole lot of fun.

#5

Donkey_Kong_Land_III_CoverartDonkey Kong Land 3

Rare Ltd./Nintendo

1997

 

Again, this is just a smaller scaled version of it’s SNES counterpart, but there were some differences as well, which is why it is higher than it’s prequel.

#4

wario-land-2Wario Land 2

Nintendo

1998

 

I played the fudge out of this game when I was a kid. Having started his own franchise now, he also adopted a more unique style of gameplay, thus distancing himself from his cousin. What we got was a clever, unique and unbelievably fun platformer that I found very hard to put down, even after beating it over and over again.

#3

Donkey_Kong_Land_CoverartDonkey Kong Land

Rare Ltd./Nintendo

1995

 

This game is amazing. It is the only game in the trilogy that is completely unique from the SNES versions, but obviously it still borrows heavily from Donkey Kong Country. Besides an annoying and terrifying way to save, this is a wonderful platformer.

#2

red-bluePokemon Red/Blue

Game Freak/Nintendo

1998

 

This was a game changer. The release of these two games literally shook the world and changed the lives of every youth on the planet. Cards and a TV show followed and Pokemon continues to be one of the most popular…things…ever created, and it all started here. The ability to walk around a huge world and catch 150 creatures and use them to fight with an enormous variety of moves was what made this game so appealing. Well that and you could link your Game Boy with a friends to trade Pokemon or battle. It was just such an amazing time to be alive and still brings warm feelings to my heart…sniff…

#1

Metroid_II_US_boxartMetroid II: Return of Samus

Nintendo

1991

 

Here it is, the best game on Game Boy, as far as I am concerned anyway. This game blew my mind. I didn’t even have to play it to love it. I used to just stare at the cover art because Samus just looks so cool there. But once I played it, I could not believe what an amazing game this is. It destroyed the first game on NES in every way possible. A bigger, much less confusing world jam packed with enemies and secrets, better graphics, new power ups, amazingly better gameplay, etc… I was just so amazed how good this was for a simple Game Boy game. It still impresses me to this day. I can’t wait to get my hands on the remake that just came out.

Well there you have it. The top 10 Game Boy games! I would recommend trying these out if you get the opportunity to!

 

 

 

 

 

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Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women Round 1 (Part 2)

Welcome back to Round 1, where 2 more sets of unbelievably hot women will face off to see who is the hottest. Check out part one if you missed it. Now, let’s not waste anytime, let’s check out the next two hotties!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Denise Richards

Phew, these women are amazing! Just look at em up there. You couldn’t wish for more hotness than these two have!

Let’s talk about Angie first. Where to begin? I first found out about Angelina Jolie’s existence from watching the 2001 movie Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. If ever there was a thing as “love at first sight,” this was it for me. She without a doubt, was the most beautiful person on the planet I had ever seen. I didn’t even have to put in the movie to fall in love with her. The stinking cover was enough.

tomb raider cover

Dang. I was 12 or 13 when the movie came out, and this was about the sexiest thing I had even seen in my life. The long braid of hair, the tight tank top that shows off a huge pair of jugs and the abs bulging out…not too much, but just enough to tell you this woman is toned as hell, and unbelievably gorgeous. The short shorts that give way to long slender legs that are criminally cut off are an amazing tease. How dare they cut off any portion of this perfect specimen’s body!?

 

 

 

When I finally stopped staring and popped the tape in the VCR, it became immediately apparent that the cover was not a hoax, this woman, Angelina Jolie, really is that hot. If anything, the cover does not do her unheard of beauty justice, for it does not capture how effortlessly sexy this woman is. From the way she moves, to the way shes talks. Even if she just had to scratch her head, the eloquent way she moved her arm up to her head would have me melting all over. Each word seemed to drip from her lips, so sensual and loving, her smile so sexy and beckoning. And speaking of her lips, my God, they are the most luscious things you will ever lay eyes on, well maybe unless you look down at her chest. But anyway, those perfect lips make her words all the more paralyzingly sexy. You could be content just watching her speak and move. You love the words coming out of her mouth, it almost becomes as good as sticking something in those lips, a tragic fantasy every man must have ripped from them when watching this beauty, unless your Brad Pitt and a few other incredibly lucky guys.

If the pain of watching everything about her physical perfection wasn’t bad (or good) enough, it was even more agitating but equally pleasurable in the fact that every thing she wore in that movie, despite not being revealing at all, made her look like the most incredibly sexy and alluring sexual beast the world has ever known!

Here is just a quick example…

 

Literally everything she wore hugged her body in such a perfect way, or really more specifically, they hugged her boobs, making each and every one of us jealous of a shirt…It was like none of the outfits were big enough to fit around those beasts, and that was for the better, believe me! There was even an occasional nipple poking through, which obviously, is all the more welcome!

But anyone who has seen this movie will take one amazing, joy filled memory with them. You know what I am talking about…I know you do!! The famous shower scene. First off, this scene has no nudity or anything, it’s just Angelina like running water down her hair for like 15 seconds, but the way she moves…it’s just…oh man…I don’t know. She just makes it seem so erotic. It’s basically like you are having sex with her. She even parts those luscious lips from a side view for you, and that is enough to shoot a tingle down everybody’s spine. But that is not even what I am talking about. It is when she gets out of the shower that the magic really happens.

BOOM!angelina jolie tomb-raider-4

The most amazing side boob you will ever see. Let me explain how amazing this was as a child. I was barely a teenager when I saw this and probably the only boobs I ever saw were Rose’s from Titanic. Then I spent this whole movie staring at her jugs with all her tight fitting shirts being stretched to their limits. Then she gets out of the shower and to everyone’s delight, she rips her towel off unexpectedly and turns just enough that you can see everything you possibly can without it being full nudity and keeping the movie PG-13.

Now this amazing side boob does a couple things. It confirms her boobs are as big as they look and it releases some weird sexual tension that has built up from watching her supreme hotness, which is amazing and much needed at this point.

Those are the pros, the con, it leaves you wanting more…so, so, so much more! You want to see every part of that beautiful toned body, every tiny inch of it. How could they tease the viewers like that! Eventually, you learn to just be happy you got to see any part of her at all, and then enjoy the rest of the movie with a smile on your face as you watch her in all her unmatched hotness, staring at her boobs ready to burst from her shirts, thinking to yourself, “yeah, I got to see those…a little…to the side…” as your smirk grows bigger.

So yeah, that is the story of how I fell in love with Angelina Jolie. For years I stated without hesitation that she was the most beautiful woman on planet Earth.  I have seen very few movies with her in it, but of the ones I have, she is just as alluring and sexy in all of them. It was only fitting that she was cast in the role of probably the most famously hot female video game character ever designed at that point.

Next up is Denise Richards. Like Angie, I discovered her from a movie, and the whole time she was in it, I couldn’t help but get aroused. She brought the meaning of sexy to a whole new level, from the way she looked, talked, walked, and above all, her facial expressions were such a big turn on, it blew me away.

What movie am I talking about? The 1998 film, Wild Things of course! Despite this being a very thrilling movie on it’s own, the director clearly searched high and low for the hottest woman they could find and then spend half the movie showing her off. Literally everything she wears is skimpy and revealing in some way. You also get to see her naked on several occasions and make out with a girl on her own and in a threesome. So yeah, it’s pretty amazing stuff. She looked a little like this…

 

Believe it or not, she is way hotter in the movie even! And just like the woman she is competing against, she has a wonderful rack and big, sexy lips. If you were to look up any word in the dictionary related to the words, “hot,” “sexy,” “arouse,” “dammmmmmnnn,” etc., it would be hard to tell which of these two women’s photo would go there.

Denise is most famous for being an unbelievably hot Bond girl I believe. A movie I have to see.

She has also been featured in PlayBoy Magazine wearing a…net…

 

Not very practical clothing, but if its purpose is to make us all sit up a little straighter, then they nailed it on the head. I have only even seen Denise Richards in this one movie, but I can only imagine that just like in Wild Things, any time she is on screen, you will forget entirely about the movie and will instead be lost in her all encompassing beauty.

Unfortunately today, she isn’t all that hot. Her body is still amazing, but her face looks kind of weird, like plastic surgery gone wrong or something. Even so, do not let that detract from the impossibly hot woman she once was!!!

Now for the hard part. To decide which of these inhumanely hot women is hotter. Both have perfection on a physical level, and both are unbelievably sexy and heart melting beauties that would easily take your breath away if you saw them on the streets. But to choose only one, I would have to go with this one…

Victor

angelina jolie 6

Angelina Jolie

This hottie just has a more sexy edge on Denise. It just seems to flow off of her so naturally. She really must be an alien or something…

And now for the next bout!!!

 

 

Katie Cassidy

VS

Joanie Brosas

Hot dog!! We’ve got two tall, slender and absolutely gorgeous girls up next!!!

Katie Cassidy became one of the most beautiful women in the world to me after viewing her in what is probably my favorite show of all time, Arrow. In season 1, she wasn’t all that spectacular. She was very attractive of course, but nothing mind blowing. She sort of looked like this…Katie-Cassidy-Regard-Magazine-Photo-Shoot-arrow-cw-33738859-940-586

though not as made up of course.

But then along came season 2 and my God, I don’t know what happened, but I was hit by the train that is her infinite beauty. Ever since, every time she is on camera, I can’t help but drool. The show itself is always so intriguing, keeping you on the edge of your seat, but this beauty comes along and steals all the focus. But that really isn’t all that surprising when you start to look like this…

 

In the show, she plays a lawyer and always dresses really professional, so you can never tell what kind of body she has, though it’s obvious it’s a hot one. And if you couldn’t tell from the pictures above how sexy her long legs are, or how gorgeous her body is, here is some more proof…

So as you can tell, she has a wonderfully tone body, with an especially great booty. Everything, from that sexy wavy hair of hers down to her toes is just steamy hotness. Unfortunately, I have never seen her in anything but Arrow, but I am sure she’s gorgeous all the time!

Next up is the fabulous Joanie Brosas. This incredibly hot woman I believe is a model, which how could she not be, she’s beautiful x1000. But I think she is more known for her cosplaying, where she specializes in wearing as little amount of clothing as legally  possible.

As you can tell, she’s quite good at it. Her body is absolutely flawless. In fact, normally I would say she is too thin, but for some reason, maybe because she looks to be on the tall side, it works for her, thus just adding to her already inhuman hotness. Something else super sexy about her is that long, flowing hair of hers.

I don’t know why, but that is just as much of a turn on as her beautiful body.

This was another girl I fell hard for immediately. I was looking up something about a rumored Tomb Raider movie a few years ago, and I found this instead.

So yeah, anyone could fall victim to this appealing specimen. The long hair, the cute face, amazing figure, long legs, firm butt and the oh so sexy under boob make her a force to be reckoned with on the scale of hotness.

So I love everything about both these girls, so it comes down to which one is just simply better looking…and while they both are at least 10/10 on the hottie scale, this one can be pushed up to a 12..

Victor

Joanie Brosas darth vader

Joanie Brosas

Well folks, that’s another 4 hotties revealed, and another 2 to move on! See you next time for 4 more hotties as Round 1 continues!!

Keeping Up With The Kardashians Needs To Die

Start Rant

I have had the misfortune the past few Sunday nights (I think it was that day) of being in the same room while my wife made herself become dumber by joining every other girl I know, and I am assuming half of the world’s female population, that is, I’m hoping it is no more than half, in watching the somehow successful Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

So successful thathglkkh…Sorry I just fell off my chair. I just looked it up.

12

There are 12 seasons of this garbage. All I can ask myself is how? My faith in humanity and the future of this world died well over a decade ago, but I have been brought to new lows. This show is bad, and stupid, and really, really, bad. Oh and it’s also boring. So boring it should be banned from television and wiped from all the unfortunate souls who have seen or heard this.

I have only witnessed maybe a half hour collectively of the show since, I guess, season…cringe…12 started up, and within 10 seconds of listening to them drone on about literally nothing infuriates me to the point of wanting to burn down my house for having a television that had that show on stand in my living room. My house is tainted from the sound waves that carried the shows audio. That is something that you can not just wipe off people! It needs to be burned, and it needs to be purged and stomped from this earth. I need to burn the ashes of my house and then throw them in the ocean and evaporate said ocean with some amazing laser that delivers the direct heat of the sun and explodes…ok that’s enough.

It is just bad. For those lucky enough to have never seen it, or somehow managed to find wives and girlfriends who have not seen it, allow me to explain it. Don’t worry, it’s quite simple.

Imagine you, your siblings, and parents all have video cameras, which they probably do anyway. Now imagine someone was filming them ALL DAY with those cameras. Now edit them all together into an hour long show and whammo. You’ve got “Keeping Up With (Insert Last Name Here).” Oh yeah, but pretend you are millionaires, don’t have jobs or any real problems in your life.

I don’t know about you, but my life is not at all interesting enough to make a show about it, and I’m willing to bet yours isn’t either. But don’t let that stop you, because it sure didn’t get in the way of the Kardashians! Believe me when I tell you they do not have interesting lives at all.

AT ALL!!!!!!

Their lives are about as exciting as the color white

Let me take you through a few of the scenes I remember seeing, the few my memory did not repress completely. I would say spoilers ahead, but nothing happens in this show that anyone could possibly care about. But I obviously am wrong cause again, 12 seasons. Oh my god, I literally just got nauseous seeing that number again.

Hold on to your hats and hair extensions ladies and gentlemen, cause here comes the first scene in my scarred memory. Two of the girls sitting on the couch, and talking about…

EYE LASHES!

That’s right folks…eye lashes…I don’t remember the specifics of the conversation, but man, it had to last like around 2 minutes. That doesn’t sound like much, but 2 minutes of one conversation on television is a very long time. I had never been so bored in my life. I’d rather listen to two chickens cluck at each other every so often. It would have been more intelligent conversation than these two girls!

Girl on right is freaking out because she can’t see girl on lefts eyelashes. But maybe this is a good thing? Maybe her eye lashes are not worthy of television!!? Such is the mystery and draw of this show

 

Hey Reggie, do you think there is a god? And if so, why did he make everything taste like us? That really does not bode well for our survival…

And remember, I was not giving my full attention to this show. I was playing Pokemon on my 3DS or something in the same room, and suddenly I found myself wanting to jump in my game and strangle my Kanghaskan and his little baby in the pouch, that’s how aggravatingly boring it was.

Another part I remember is like an obscene amount of time spent on one of the women being so nervous about going to NYC for a fashion show or something. Oh no, it was an interview on some TV show. But one of them was nervous about a fashion show probably, don’t worry. Others complain about what to wear to such and such occasion, so and so didn’t defend her sister when someone disliked something on Facebook. You know, all the problems real people have, our day to day struggles just to get by and survive paycheck to check, if we even get one. Those problems somehow seem minute compared to our darling Kardashians. Clearly every viewer flocks to listen to them talk about the “problems,” so that they can feel better about their own. Our lives are so much better than these poor women that I feel truly blessed at how we benefit from the wealth in this country.

 

 

 

But to really sum up the show for you, here is what happens. They lounge around in their various mansions, talk, go out to some fancy restaurant while they talk about what they want to order. If we are really lucky, we get to watch them eat it too! And they talk in between mouthfuls of course.

Then they are back on their couches that probably cost more than my car, in their fancy clothes that cost more than my house, and guess what talk…or if they really want to change things up, they all sit around and look at Facebook on their cell phones. Now let me tell you, you have never seen anything quite so dramatic and fierce as a bunch of girls looking at phones…unless you went to school in the past 15 years or pretty much have gone to any social gathering in the same time frame.

Then to really stir the pot, someone’s boyfriend might show up, and then they either talk, or go out to eat. The suspense on which they will choose is nerve racking. I mean, it’s a complete toss up! Who knows!? And the best part is, maybe Kanye West, one of the worst rappers alive, and possibly the dumbest and most conceited man I have ever read about, maybe, just maybe, will show up. I really have no idea though. Spoiler free there!!!

The only okay thing about this show is that the 3, 4, 5…? starring girls, (not the mom and her husband trying to be a girl) are all rather pleasant to look at.

Don’t Worry Boys and Girls, There’s Plenty Of Cleavage To Go Round

 

Though if I had as much plastic surgery as some of them have and spent 4 hours putting 13 pounds of makeup on, or rather, probably have someone else do it for me, then I imagine I would be pretty smokin’ too.

I want to cry when I think how much money we make for them, though admittedly they do make plenty for themselves too.

All I can say is that Kardashian is not recognized by my spell check, so there is peace of mind that at least my computer has not heard of them. Phew…

End Rant

 

Images from http://www.ibtimes.com, http://www.christiantoday.com, http://www.youtube.com, dailyfinance.com, http://www.asiannews.it, http://www.dailymail.co.uk, hustletv.tv, http://www.dailymail.co.uk, http://www.fanshare.com, http://www.pinterest.com http://www.cosmopolitan.com