Paper Mario Series Ranked

In honor of the recent release of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Nintendo Switch, I am going to take the entire series, well, all the ones I’ve played anyway, and rank them from worst to best.

I don’t like saying worst to best, because I think every single one of these games is a grand slam. It’s easily one of my favorite series, out there, (it actually came in fourth in my top 10 video game series).

Aside from them being all great, diverse, unique, creative, and charming, it’s the story-telling and humor that really gets me. I can’t explain it, but there’s a certain feeling I get when playing these games that basically says, “yeah, I’m playing Paper Mario, and I’m ecstatic.”

This series doesn’t have a lot of games, which makes it all the more special.

So here we go!

#5

Super Paper Mario

Wii, 2007

Times Beaten-1

The first to stray from the original formula, this takes the classic Mario platforming and combines it with RPG elements and showers the bizarre Paper Mario creativity all over it. Despite being last on the list, it’s still a wonderful game.

#4

Paper Mario: Sticker Star

3DS, 2012

Times Beaten- 1

 

This one returns to turn-based combat, but requires you to have stickers to attack. You have a sticker book to hold all your stickers, but it has limited space. Weak attacks are small, and stronger ones are huge, so you’ve got to balance them out and use what’s necessary during battles. This adds a fun strategical element to the game. The game also takes the whole paper theme to a new level.

The game uses a world map like in Super Mario World, dividing the game into stages for the first time. It also involves a lot of back-tracking and puzzle solving, which is impossible to figure out. I needed to use a guide the whole game, because it was so confusing.

#3

Paper Mario: Color Splash

Wii U, 2016

Times Beaten- 1

This one is more like Sticker Star, but instead of stickers you use cards to attack, and have to paint them during battle to make them more powerful. You can play three cards at once, and it is rather fun to set up attack trains to fit the situation. The only trouble is, killing enemies grants you items that when enough are gathered, your paint supply grows. Eventually, when it’s big enough to suit your needs, there is no point in fighting enemies. That’s right, there is no experience and level-ups in this game.

#2

Paper Mario

Nintendo 64, 2001

Times Beaten- 2

The one that started it all, and still one of the most bizarre and brilliant ideas of all time. This is a classic JRPG, but with massively unique elements, though it does borrow from Super Mario RPG. Awesome characters, a variety of partners to help you fight, silly story, it’s all awesome.

#1

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

GameCube, 2004

Times Beaten- 2, maybe 3??

The gameplay in this one is just like the first one. Every area in this level is fantastic and imaginative, and is one of the few games I’ve ever played that I got sad when I beat it. This may be my favorite game of all time, as a matter of fact. Or at least second-favorite.

All these games are hilarious, have fun worlds to explore, characters with quirky personalities, addicting gameplay, and a whole lot of frickin’ awesome.

The world is very divided on this series. Many people complain that they changed the formula and wish the series returned to the the style of the first two.

There’s no denying (in my book) the first two are by far the greatest, but that is no reason to hate on the others, for they are all solid, unbelievably fun and witty games.

Would I like to see a return to the originals? Absolutely, but I am also excited for new ideas, and am anxious to see what other creative, unique, WTF things they can come up with. Which is why I can not wait to play Origami King!

 

Nintendo eShop Prices Must Come Way Down If They Ever Hope To Compete

I love the Switch. I especially love that it’s getting like every game ever ported to it. But if Nintendo ever hopes to bolster software sales, they’ve got to do something about their prices.

I would prefer to buy all my games possible on Switch, just as I always tried to do with Wii U, because these consoles typically offer an opportunity to play these games in a unique way you can’t find anywhere else.

But I don’t see how Nintendo can hope to compete when Sony are constantly running huge sales, and more unbelievably low prices can be found on PC with Steam, Humble Bundle, and a plethora of other DRM’s or sites that make a habit of not only selling games at ridiculously low prices that people can actually afford, but also giving away free games.

Many games that I wanted to get for Switch I wound up getting for PC, because they are always on sale for like 3-10 dollars, versus Switch prices which on sale will still be over $20.

In fact there is a game on Switch on sale for $40 right now that I want. But the near identical version for PC is a mere $5.24.

It’s hard to justify holding out for the Switch prices to drop when I can get them for next to nothing on PC consistently.

So help us out, and really, yourselves too by dropping some of these abysmal prices.

SNES Classic Is A Disappointment/Predictions for N64 Classic

This is just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong. The idea is wonderful. A miniature retro console packed with the best games to be released on it, all in HD and for an affordable price? It is amazing!

But it really is only amazing for people who missed out on these consoles. People who already owned the NES and SNES aren’t really missing out on much. And many of you may think, “and that is exactly who it is marketed towards, people who missed it…” You are right, but I have a feeling it is even more so towards those who have nostalgic feelings towards the consoles, who want to relive their youths. And to that I say¬† to Nintendo-Stop profiting off our childhoods!! We already gave you enough!!

Nonetheless…If they weren’t so rare, they would be something great that I would probably pick up whenever the price fell.

But everybody knows the NES Classic sold out immediately and if you want one, your likely going to pay 10 times the price.

But anyway, that is not what I want to talk about.

nes-classic-edition-box.png

First off, let me talk about my feelings for the NES Classic. When they first announced it, I was really excited. I had to have one.

And then I realized something within a few seconds. 30 games for the NES! Oh wait, I probably already have most of them, and I really don’t like most games on NES anyways.

Turns out, this was accurate. They put every game worth having on NES on it, but I, and everyone else who has owned an NES or virtual console probably already has them. I owned all the games except 6 or 7 of them already, and some of them I had multiples of through various systems and re-releases and the like. The handful I was missing, I had no interest in ever playing, so I immediately stopped wanting one, and thank God for that, since they are impossible to get a hold of.

But what I am really trying to say here, is that, $60 for 30 quality games is amazing. The limited supply for a limited time approach…why? That’s a dumb move.

But I, like most people, were already wondering if they were going to make an SNES Classic, one of my favorite consoles of all time. I was even more excited when they confirmed it compared to the NES Classic, but again, immediately realized I already have everything on the system worth having…for the most part.

And now we come to the part where I describe why the SNES Classic is so disappointing.

IT IS 20 DOLLARS MORE EXPENSIVE AND HAS 9 GAMES LESS!

Like… what the hell? You can’t tell me that porting all these games onto this little system cost so much more. They are still 25 year old games and not really worth all that. Though, really, again, the price is still pretty fair. But not compared to it’s predecessor. They are not that much more advanced that they need cost so much more.

And price figures aside, why couldn’t they just make it an even 30 games? There are so many worthy titles on that system. What the heck? I bet you they are going to make some bull crap DLC to fill in the 9 missing spots for another $20.

Super_Metroid_Mother_Brain_tank.png

But anyway, if you don’t know, here are the 21 games.

  1. Contra III: The Alien Wars
  2. Donkey Kong Country
  3. EarthBound
  4. Final Fantasy III
  5. F-Zero
  6. Kirby Super Star
  7. Kirby’s Dream Course
  8. The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Pastcastlevania4-spot2.png
  9. Mega Man X
  10. Secret Of Mana
  11. Star Fox
  12. Star Fox 2
  13. Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
  14. Super Castlevania IV
  15. Super Ghouls n’ Ghosts
  16. Super Mario Kart
  17. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
  18. Super Mario World
  19. Super Metroid
  20. Super Punch-Out
  21. Yoshi’s Island

So there’s the line up, and it is an impressive one without a doubt. But some of these are ridiculous choices over some others, though I can see why they would want to vary up the selection a bit.

And again, I have all but 4, but I already have Street Fighter II in 2 or 3 other forms, used to own Secret of Mana, and Star Fox 2 has never been released. So really, Contra is the only one I missed and have no interest in playing.

So again, this is a wonderful, wonderful idea for any younger people who may have missed out on this glorious age of gaming.

But here’s what the other 9 should be, to really embrace the system. For starters, Super Mario World should be replaced with Super Mario All Stars + Super Mario World.

22. Chrono Triggerchrono triiger

23. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest

24. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie’s Double Trouble

25. Illusion Of Gaia

26. Mega Man X2

27. Mega Man X3mm7

28. Mega Man 7

29. Final Fantasy II

30. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time

There you go! A nice even 30! Though who knows? Licensing and copyrights and all that could prevent a lot of this, and they probably didn’t want to put entire series like Mega Man and Donkey Kong on it.

But this leads me to my next question. Do these mini consoles spell the end for Virtual Console? I feel like this is directly competing with it. Switch does not have it yet, so does this mean it is no longer? Is is just going to be that subscription they talked about where you can stream games? I hope not, personally.

But anyway, yeah, not happy with the decisions behind the SNES Classic overall. And there is evidence now of an N64 Classic coming next year. Those are much bigger games, so I expect that it will cost $100 for 15 games.

I’ll even predict them for you.

  1. Diddy Kong RacingF-Zero_X_(USA)-1
  2. Donkey Kong 64
  3. F-Zero X
  4. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
  5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
  6. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  7. Mario Kart 64
  8. Mario Party 2
  9. Mario Tennis
  10. Paper MarioPokemon_Stadium_(Europe)-3
  11. Pokemon Stadium
  12. Star Fox 64
  13. Super Mario 64
  14. Super Smash Bros
  15. Wave Race 64

If that is accurate, I have all but 4 again, and used to own one of those four…