Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls, Finals

At long last, we have reached the finals! Due to an uneven amount of girls, we have three incredibly sexy finalists instead of two. But no one would ever say no to 3 women, am I right? Especially when they look like this. Check out the rest of the tournament listed in these links and now, let’s see who the hottest Bond girl is once and for all!

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honeycap

One of the first Bond girls, all the way back from the first movie has fought and clawed her way to the finals. But let’s face it, she didn’t have to try too hard, seeing as how incredibly gorgeous she is. But don’t take my word for it…here ya go!

 

 

Man she is gorgeous…even when she is older. She has such a beautiful face and sexy body. I can’t help but feel jealous of Bond. As a bonus, she is not shy and shows off her body quite a bit, both in revealing clothing and no clothing if you want to look into that…have at it!

 

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

Jane-Seymour-Solitaire-Live-And-Let-Die-james-bond-37169393-640-431

 

Moving away from blonds, we have the beautiful, innocent, yet unbelievably sexy brunette named after an okay card game. Let’s see how she plays out!

 

 

 

This is another woman who you could bang the heck out of her whole life. She’s so sexy even when she is much older. Her long hair is so beautiful, her body tight, she has an innocent cute side to her and absolute wild side. In short, her whole life, she has been an irresistible woman.

 

 

Dr.Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

The-World-is-not-Enough-1382

 

Back to blond again or uhh dirty blond? This woman is the definition of sexy. The way she talks, moves, frickin’ just stands there. She is just stunning. Look at those big open lips up there…mmm.

 

 

 

Whew, she is gorgeous. But of the three she is the only one whose looks shattered as she got older, in a bad way too. But at least her body is still sexy!

 

Alright, now it’s time for the decision. The winner is easy, but the runner ups are a little tougher, but for third place…

 

Second Runner Up

ursula andress-31

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

This one was really close. Both her and the next girl were literally neck and neck, or should I say boob and boob?

So who is the runner up?

 

 

Runner Up

jane-seymour-as-the-princess-farah-in-sinbad-and-the-eye-of-the-tiger

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

There’s just something about her…

 

And that of course leaves the hottest Bond girl to ever exist!!!

 

Winner

denise richards-hot-39

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

That’s right, the hot and sexy doc is the winner. This becomes evident immediately in the movie the first time you see her. They tease you, thinking she is a nerdy doctor in a hazmat suit or something, and then when Bond first sees her (out of the hazmat suit) it’s BAM! The movie knew they had a hot one, and they showed her off every second they could.

There really was no contest for this beauty. She obliterates every other Bond girl. Though her victory should come as no surprise, for her actress, Denise Richards, was in the Impossibly Hot Woman Tournament, in which 16 of the hottest girls on the planet faced off.

So congrats to Dr. Jones, you earned it!

Normally I rank all the women to how I personally find them at the end of the tournament, but since there is so many of them, I might just make another post doing it…if at all…

 

We shall see!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Semi-Finals

Welcome to the semi-finals. 7 of the dozens of women Bond has made sweet love to have fought and clawed their way here. Due to an uneven amount of girls, 3 will make it to the finals, where they will battle to see who the hottest Bond girl of all time is! Check out the rest of the tournament listed here. Now let’s get to it!

 

Bout #1

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honey ryder 2

 

VS

 

domino wave

Domino (Thunder Ball)

 

Dang. Right away we have two fierce hotties.

Honey Ryder is a smoking hot blond. Let’s take a look. So far we have only seen pictures of her bikini clad self from the movie for the most part. Let’s branch out a bit today.

 

Sexy throughout her whole life. Age means nothing for this beloved beauty.

 

 

A sexy brunette with an adorable smile.

 

Both of these women have absolutely earned the right to make it this far. Both have amazing bodies and incredibly good looks. But only one may advance and we all know who it is…

 

Victor

ursula andress 6

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

 

Bout #2

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

solitaire pose tie

 

VS

 

anya poster

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Solitaire is so innocent (partially due to her character) but super hot as well. Her low cut outfits always make viewers drool a bit…

 

Turns out she is even more smoking outside of the Bond movie. And age hasn’t really slowed her down either. She is incredibly sexy in that one picture where she is older.

 

But let’s see what Anya has to say about it.

 

 

Another beautiful woman. Also just discovered she’s not one to shy away from showing some boob, which is big bonus points.

 

This is a tough one. Both women are incredibly hot, but I think this one pushes ahead ever so slightly.

 

Victor

jane seymour 3

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

 

Bout #3

 

We’ve got a 3’fer for this one.

 

Ploa Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola boo

 

VS

 

christmas jones walk

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

VS

 

Miranda Frost-Die-Another-Day-ice-palace-bed-scene-bond-girls-40324827-690-450

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

This is the battle of the blonds! Which of these three hotties will advance to the finals? I guess we’ll have to check out some pictures.

 

Pola looks great in a hot tub. Let’s see how she looks in clothes.

Sorry…isn’t too much on her.

 

Next up is Christmas…yes I resisted the urge to make a Christmas joke.

Mmm…scrumptious.

Next is good ol’ Miranda!

 

Phew…sexy

 

Alright, there is a clear first, second and third here.

Right away, looking at these 3 women, Pola is easily the worst looking out of all of them.

Miranda is very sexy, but there is something missing from her…I can’t tell what though. She’s hot enough to have made it this far, but I don’t know what it is that is holding her back.

This leaves an almost easy win for Ms. Christmas!

 

Victor

denise_richards_03

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Alright, at long last we have our 3 finalists! See you in the finals!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 3

Welcome to round 3! Things are really staring to heat up now! Catch up through all the links listed here, and now, for the hottest Bond girls the secret agent has ever shagged shall continue to face off…

 

Bout #1

 

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

honey-ryder-in-bikini

 

VS

 

romanova

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

 

Phew…Two beautiful blonds…but one of them is clearly hotter than the other…

 

Victor

honey ryder towel

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

 

Bout #2

 

Domino (Thunderball)

domino goggles

 

VS

 

helga top

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

 

Again, two absolutely beautiful/hot women, one young, one a bit older. There is a clear winner yet again…

 

Victor

domino smile

Domino (Thunderball)

 

 

Bout# 3

 

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

solitaire the-four-feathers-the-james

 

VS

 

mary goodnight 4

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

The first two bouts in this round had clear winners despite each woman being gorgeous. This one, there is not a clear winner. Both women are sexy as heck. Mary even spends a good amount of time during the movie in a bikini, showing off her flawless bod. Even with the silly face she makes in this photo of her, she is still evidently beautiful.

Solitaire has an innocent, yet sexy vibe going on, and just looks to have amazing skin that you just want to slip inside…if you catch my meaning…

This is a tough call but…

 

Victor

solitaire real

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

 

 

Bout #4

 

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

anya 3

 

VS

 

octopussy 2

Octopussy (Octopussy)

Old versus young here, but again, we are back to both being beautiful but with a clear winner.

 

Victor

Anya Amasova 07

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

 

Bout #5

 

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola bond

 

VS

pam bouvier

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

To short haired beauties, with hot, sexy bodies. But once more there is a clear winner.

 

Victor

polaview3

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

 

Though being wet and naked really helps her.

 

Bout #6

 

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

cecilie thomsen-07

 

VS

christmas purple

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Oh boy. These are two hotties if I ever saw some. Inga is a quick lay at the beginning of a movie, but she is such a smoking blond with a perfect body.

But Christmas just oozes sexiness, to the point that she looks way better in that sexy purple dress than Inga does naked.

 

Victor

christmas

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

 

Bout #7

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

miranda frost

 

VS

 

severine blur

Severine (Skyfall)

 

This is a tough one. Both of these women are very hot, and even more sexy. They have tough attitudes and dirty thoughts, not to mention flawless bodies. But there is one that does have an edge. She has some kind of sexiness to her, yet innocence that just draws you in.

 

Victor

rosamund-pike-die-another-day-promos-stills_9

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

 

That’s it for now. See you in the semi-finals!

Tournament Of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 2, Part 2

Here we are, in the final part of round 2. This will decide who the hottest are, who will then move on to the next round for a truly steamy battle! Catch up on everything here.

And now, let’s see some hotties!

 

Bout # 8

 

Melina Havelock (For Your Eyes Only)

melina_havelock

 

VS

 

octopussy sexy

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

This is a tough one. Melina is much younger, and very beautiful, but dresses conservatively and doesn’t smile much.

Octopussy is a decade or two older, but still works it. She is gorgeous for her age, and though she doesn’t actually wear that sexy outfit in the movie, it shows she’s still got some curves. Her hair is still very much alive, keeping up with Melina’s long locks.

Victor

octopussy

Octopussy (Octopussy)

 

 

Bout# 9

 

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

pola bath

 

VS

 

stacy sutton celebridades-del-cine

Stacy Sutton (A View To A Kill)

 

Both women are pretty, but one easily beats out the other.

 

Victor

pola ivanova

Pola Ivanova (A View To A Kill)

 

Bout# 10

 

Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)

kara-milovy

 

VS

 

pam-bouvier

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

This is an easy one. One completely obliterates the other in sexiness.

 

Victor

pam gun

Pam Bouvier (License To Kill)

 

 

Bout #11

 

Natalya Simonova (Goldeneye)

nat

 

VS

 

Tomorrow-Never-Dies-James-Bond-Inga-Bergstrom-Pierce-Brosnan-Cecilie-Thomsen

Professor Inga Bergstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Easy. Very Easy.

 

 

Victor

tomorrow-never-dies-116

Professor Inga Berstrom

(Tomorrow Never Dies)

 

Bout# 12

 

Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)

wai lin

 

VS

christmas jones2

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

Another ridiculously easy one. No contest here.

 

 

Victor

christmas_jones

Dr. Christmas Jones

(The World Is Not Enough)

 

 

Bout #13

 

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

miranda

 

VS

 

vesper lynd

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

After a few easy ones, here we reach a really tough one. Both of these women are HOT!! Miranda is one sexy character and dresses really amazing like.

Vesper is also extremely sexy and dresses in ridiculously sexy dresses.

This is tough, but I think Miranda has a slight edge. Her face is more beautiful and gives her a nice innocent, cute glow to her tight bod.

But to honor Vesper, here are some pics.

 

Victor

miranda face

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

 

Bout #14

Severine (Skyfall)

severine08

 

VS

 

madeleine

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

These women are both very beautiful. So much so that this is a tough decision, but I think this one comes out on top (I wish).

 

Victor

severine stairs

Severine (Skyfall)

 

That’s it for round 2. Look for round 3, where things really start to heat up!

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 2, Part 1

Welcome back to the Tournament of Hotties showcasing all the babes that Bond banged. A ton got eliminated in Round 1, but we’ve still got plenty to sift through. See everything you missed in round 1 and let’s hit it off!

 

Bout #1

 

Miss Taro (Dr. No)

miss taro 2

VS

honey-ryder-urseula-andress

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

Despite the beauty both women bring to the table, there is a very easy winner here.

 

 

Victor

honey ryder dress

Honey Ryder (Dr. No)

 

Bout #2

 

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

tatiana romanova blankeyt

 

VS

jill masterson 3

Jill Masterson (Goldfinger)

 

Two beautiful blonds at Bond’s disposal? Tough choice here, but I believe age will win this one out.

 

Victor

tatFromRussiatatiant

Tatiana Romanova

(From Russia With Love)

Bout #3

 

Fiona Volpe (Thunderball)

Fiona-Volpe-bond-girls-3324568-350-200

VS

Domino-Thunderball-525x274

Domino (Thunderball)

 

Two gorgeous women yet again, this time a red head and brunette. It’s hard to tell the age of Miss Volpe. Sometimes she looks 30, sometimes 45. Either way, she’s sexy, and if she’s older, that makes her all the hotter.

Domino is also incredibly beautiful and looks slammin in that bikini.

Victor

domino bond

Domino (Thunderball)

 

Bout #4

 

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

helga brandt

 

VS

 

nancy 3

Nancy (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service)

 

This is an easy one. There’s a beautiful woman here, and a not so beautiful one.

 

helga You-Only-Live-Twice-290

Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)

 

Bout #5

 

Miss Caruso (Live and Let Die)

Caruso

 

VS

 

solitaire

Solitiare (Live and Let Die)

 

Both women are attractive, but there is one vastly more so.

 

 

Victor

solitaire Live-and-Let-Die-644

Solitaire (Live and Let Die)

Bout #6

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

mary goodnight 3

 

VS

 

arab beauty-bond-girls-james-bond

Arab Beauty (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Okay now this is a tough one. Both of these women are gorgeous, and that’s really because they both are showing off a whole lot of skin, revealing tight, sexy bodies. It is most difficult to choose which is hotter, but I think I am leaning to the no named hottie who is in the movie for 10 seconds. Trouble is, aside from the 3 pictures I’ve shown, there really isn’t anything else out there, so that we may gaze upon her endless beauty. And because Mary can compete with her in hotness on all levels, I really must choose…

 

Victor

mary BOND09E_crop

Mary Goodnight

(Man With The Golden Gun)

 

Bout #7

 

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

anya amasova

 

VS

holly-goodhead

Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)

 

Two very hot women in this bout. But one just has the age, beauty and sexy look that the other does have…but just falls short a bit.

 

Victor

 

anya nightgown

Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)

 

Well there you have it! 7 of the hottest Bond girls have just moved on to the next round! Check out the next part to see the rest of the women who will continue on as well!

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Bond Girls Round 1, Part 5

Here is the final part of Round 1. A record number of women have been shown in this round, and we are down to the last few. Check out the rest in parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. Now let’s get down to business.

 

 

 

Bout #25

Jinx Johnson (Die Another Day)

jinx johnson

 

VS

 

rosamund pike sexy

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

 

Okay…sigh…this is definitely the hardest match up yet. Both of these women are completely stunning.

Jinx kills it in that bikini, showing off her perfect body. (It is the incredibly gorgeous Halle Berry after all).

But Miranda looks just as jaw dropping, showing off a slightly more toned body. So what to do when faced with two perfect women and you can’t have both?

What’s worse is how both of them act so sexy and dress even sexier in their movies. This is quite a frustrating choice, but I think this one pulls out ahead.

 

 

Victor

Miranda-Frost

Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)

Sorry Jinx fans, Miranda’s just got better hair and on top of being hot and sexy, there is a cuteness to her that draws me a bit closer to her than Jinx.

 

Bout #26

 

vesper

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

VS

 

strawberry

Strawberry Fields (Quantum of Solace)

 

This is another bout with 2 absolutely beautiful women.

Vesper’s job is to just look stunning in revealing dresses.

Strawberry has a smaller part, but acts very tough and sexy.

This is both a tough and easy decision.

 

Victor

vesper black dress

Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

 

Note that she probably only beats Strawberry for her consistently sexy attire. I just want to point this out just so as not to undermine how gorgeous and hot Strawberry Fields is.

 

 

Bout #27

 

Bond’s Lover (Skyfall)

bonds-lover

 

VS

severine skyfall-16598-1920x1080

Severine (Skyfall)

 

This is an easy one. Bond’s Lover is just some chick he was banging while the world thought he was dead. She’s in it for like 10 seconds and you barely see her. She’s mostly just getting shagged in the shadows. She doesn’t even look attractive from the picture above.

And then there’s Severine and well…yeah…

 

 

Victor

severine

Severine (Skyfall)

 

 

Bout #28

 

Lucia (Spectre)

lucia

 

VS

 

madeline spectre1

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

Both of these women are very beautiful, but not overly so.

If I remember, Lucia is a cheating whore and gets murdered for it, and Madeline is the hard to get lay. While both of them are sexy looking, there is a clear winner.

 

Victor

madeline

Madeleine (Spectre)

 

And there we have it! All the women that Bond has banged (by my count) have duked it out. Next up is Round 2!

 

 

 

Series Ranked: American Pie

Today I will be ranking the main installments of the American Pie film franchise. I have never seen any of the spin offs, so they will not be included, and I probably wouldn’t include them if I did see them anyway.

American Pie is one of my favorite film series of all time. At first glance they appear to be stupid teen party sex movies, but they are actually so much deeper. The films explore pivotal parts of life that we all experience and relate to. Every single character can be compared to someone we know in real life, as well as most of the situations the characters are in. Obviously, most of this is exaggerated greatly for the sake of humor, but remains true to life in some respect all the same. From the awkward, embarrassing situations main character Jim is found in, to his deep/hilarious talks with his dad, each second is an emotional, hysterical blast that leaves you feeling quite satisfied at the end.

So here we go, I will be ranking them from worst to best, but note that I love every single one of these movies.

#4

American Wedding

american-wedding

The third film and final one for around a decade is my least favorite. When I first saw it, I was rather disappointed by it. Perhaps because I was too young at the time to relate? I don’t know, but now that I have seen it probably 10 times, it really has quite grown on me.

The film starts off just after college graduation, setting the scene for the next big step in life…marriage. The movie focuses on main character Jim and his fiance Michelle planning their big wedding day. It does a nice job showing all the work and stress that leads up to a wedding, and how girls always dream up these perfect days and how the husband to be must break his back doing his best to not disappoint her.

The sub plot involves Stiffler and Finch competing over a woman, all the while trying to impress her parents. This turns out to be a hilarious ordeal.

What I don’t like is that the film is entirely focused on these four characters. All the other series regulars are absent, even main character Chris, and even though Kevin is in it, he has no real part and only has a handful of lines.

Regardless, the film is a blast and shows us that no matter what crazy set backs can happen, eventually in the end it all works out.

#3

American Pie

American-Pie-con-todos-sus-actores-principales_landscape

Next up is the one that started it all. The main plot is a group of horny virgins coming up on their high school graduation vow to lose their virginity on prom night. The movie focuses on them doing absurd things to make it happen.

I know that plot sounds ridiculous, but it is absolutely how high school is, and every character and their motivations is completely relateable. We get to watch them all grow and mature in their last few weeks of high school, where they realize sex isn’t everything.

Another big part of the plot, and something we all also experience, is them learning to face the future. Once you graduate high school, your life completely changes, and the film does a great job dealing with these teenagers coming to terms with that, and they do everything they can to prepare and/or prevent their lives from changing.

#2

American Pie 2

ap2

This movie starts off just as the gang is finishing up their freshman year in college. They all reunite back home to attempt to live the lives they were so accustomed to in high school, only to find that something just wasn’t right. To attempt to put things right, they rent a big house on Lake Michigan and spend the summer working and partying together. As the summer slips away from them, they realize the future can not be stopped and must accept the changes they were not ready to face in the first movie.

This is a challenge we all must face, usually against our will. No one is truly ready to grow up and it is just awesome to watch a film where you get to see people struggle with this, but in a hugely hilarious, yet emotional way. Again each character winds up maturing tremendously by the end of it.

#1

American Reunion

AMERICAN1-jumbo

The fourth and final film brings back all the characters that were missing in American Wedding for a truly spectacular high school reunion, their 13 year high school reunion to be specific.

The film is about the gang dealing with the troubles of early adulthood, while at the same time, trying to still keep that kid alive inside of them. They each face their own turmoils about their lives and lean on each other to help make it seem better. But when they all get together, they once again try to relive their glorious high school days, only to find their old home isn’t quite how it used to be, now taken over by the current high schoolers. A few scenes show off the generational gaps of kids today versus how they were in the 90’s, and how problematic this becomes for the older generation, whose maturity must be forlorn, reverting back to the kids they once were to meet the youngen’s on their level.

It is fun to watch how old memories are brought up and how it makes the characters feel and act. There are many deep nostalgic moments in the movie, and it is the funniest, wildest, and somehow the most mature film in the franchise, making it my favorite.

Well that’s all of them. There was rumor of a fifth one, but I don’t think that will come to pass unfortunately. I would love to see these guys in yet another struggle through life!

american-reunion