Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Final

We have the two finalists battling it out here! See how they made it this far with the links posted here.

I’ve already explained to death how impossibly hot they are, so let’s just see some pics.

 

 

Megan Fox

VS

Sara Jean Underwood

Let’s have a little fashion show. Let’s see what these beauties look like in lingerie!!

 

 

 

 

Wow, those are some hot ladies!

What about bikinis…those are always hot, right?

 

 

 

 

Meowsa!!!

What about costumes?

 

 

Those are painted on! Makes you wish she played Wonder Woman in the recent film. She seems not to be a big fan of dress up unfortunately, because we would all love to see her in some more outfits.

Sara definitely is, even into some cosplay. So she will have a few more pictures.

 

 

There is nothing sexier than a woman who likes to dress up, though dressing down might be more accurate.

And just because, here’s just a few more hot pictures of our finalists.

 

 

 

 

Okay, now the big decision…who is hotter?

This is really, really hard to choose. These are honestly the two hottest women on the planet, and each wants to be number 1.

But I have to give the winning spot to her.

Victor

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood!!!!!!

While both girls are perfect in every way, Sara’s got a more tone body, sexy blond hair, and always looks so diverse in her pictures, which somehow gives her this sweet and sexy personality, which if you are hot and a sweetheart, you’re golden. I suppose the endless amount of photos of her doesn’t hurt either.

Bottom line, she is the hottest person I have ever laid eyes on, or at least through a computer screen. I will never lay real eyes on her… So congratulations Sara on being named hottest woman on the planet!

And like always, I like to rank all the contestants in my own personal opinion, from least hottest to hottest. Though regardless of how well they did in the tournament or in my personal ranking, these 16 women are, as far as I know and/or am concerned, the hottest women on Earth. Ranking them will probably be harder than the one on one matches. Oh boy…

Anyway here they are, from least impossibly hot, to most impossibly hot. The round in parentheses is how far they made it in the tournament.

 

#16

Kristen Stewart (Round 1)

Kristen Stewart Red Dress Side

 

#15

Brooklyn Decker (Round 1)

brooklyn decker rope

#14

Kendall Jenner (Round 1)

kendall_jenner_bikini_topshop_swimwear6.jpg

#13

Elizabeth Hurley (Round 2)

elizabeth hurley topless.jpg

#12

Katie Cassidy (Round 1)

Katie Cassidy sidewalk.jpg

#11

Kim Kardashian (Round 2)

Kim Kardashian White Bikini.jpg

#10

Scarlett Johansson (Round 1)

Scarlett Johanson Jock.jpg

#9

Jessica Alba (Round 2)

jessica_alba_04.jpg

#8

Tara Reid (Round 1)

tara-reid-sexy-boobs-07.jpg

#7

Denise Richards (Round 1)

denise_richards_naked-4.jpg

#6

Ciara Hanna (Round 1)

Ciara Hanna wants you

#5

Angelina Jolie (Round 2)

angelina-jolie-sexy-dress-large-crop.jpg

#4

Joanie Brosas (Semi-finalist)

joanie brosas naked.jpg

#3

Alexandria DeBerry (Semi-finalist)

allie berry tan

#2

Megan Fox (Runner Up)

megan-fox-wallpaper-10

#1

Sara Jean Underwood (Winner)

Sara-Jean-Underwood-768x1024

I almost feel bad ranking them, because again, they are all so very, impossibly hot. All these women should be worshiped.

Well that’s another tournament over. Thanks for checking it out, or rather, checking out the contestants. Till next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 3 (Semi-Finals)

Alright! We narrowed it down to the last four hotties! These gorgeous gals will battle it out to see which two will make it to the finals!

Check out the links here to catch up on all the hottie action in rounds 1 and 2, and then please, enjoy the upcoming hotties!

 

Megan Fox

VS

Joanie Brosas

I’ve already talked about how amazingly beautiful and perfect and sexy Megan Fox is. No matter what she’s wearing, or not wearing, she is just so, so beautiful. She took down Tara Reid and Jessica Alba in this tournament so far. When will her rampage end? Let’s take a look and see if that end is in sight.

 

A woman who looks like this is definitely going to be tough to beat. As I just said, no matter what she’s in, she’s gorgeous.

I mean, in this picture I’m about to show you, she is in hardly anything revealing, and it’s barely more than a picture of her face.

მეგან ფოქსი

It’s such an innocent picture and yet my jaw drops to the floor as if she was standing naked in front of me. She’s beautiful, plain and simple.

And to compete with her is the slender, sexy cosplayer Joanie Brosas, whose taken down Katie Cassidy and Angelina Jolie so far. This girl has an amazing body that easily takes the cake over Megan Fox’s body. And the fact that Megan’s is already completely perfect, that is a mighty impressive thing to say.

And speaking of Megan, I think she is the reason I discovered Joanie, now that I think about it. I was reading an article that was talking about Megan Fox being considered to play Lara Croft for a Tomb Raider reboot movie years ago. There was a picture of this.

Megan Fox Tomb Raider cosplay

It’s a hot photo, for sure, but this picture somehow led me to these…

 

 

And thus I discovered potentially the greatest body of all time. I mean just look at that. It completely blows away what Megan Fox looks like in her outfit. I”m sure you want more evidence to back up the whole “greatest body claim,” so here it is.

 

There are no words to describe her body. Like jeez, it’s (insert description here). Perfect is an understatement.

I mean, look at these pictures.

 

That other girl is no pushover. In other words, she’s hot. But when standing next to Joanie, she almost appears ugly. So I suppose the real question is, does Megan Fox appear ugly next to Joanie?

The answer…No.

Megan is still gorgeous. The hard part is deciding which of these women is actually hotter. We’ve already established Joanie has the better body, so that’s big points.

The woman that will move on is just barely hotter than her competition. There is something just more sexy about her. It’s like she is a goddess or something, but seems so real as well, if that makes any sense. You get lost in her looks, and it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Victor

megan fox wall

Megan Fox

You see? There is just something so real about her? It’s hard to explain, much like her beauty. Whatever she’s got, Joanie is lacking in it.

Next up are quite literally the two hottest blondes on the planet.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Sara has beat out Ciara Hanna and Elizabeth Hurley, two of the finest woman in two different generations. But does the PlayBoy model have what it takes to compete with the gorgeous Alexandria? Maybe these pictures can help shed some light…

 

Good lordie, what a body! There isn’t a flaw on this woman. She is so toned, so hot, so sexy, so perfect.

Next is Allie, who can impressively say she has taken down Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. Her body is literally an hourglass shape and it’s amazing. Here, see for yourselves!

 

 

Everything about her is amazing! EVERYTHING! Just look at her. She is not of this world. She is too perfect. Her butt…wow…her boobs…nice! Her long flowing hair. Her tight, toned body. Those lips, that adorable face. Regardless of how much is covered or revealed on that flawless figure, she can take your breath away.

So which of these two blond beauties is hotter? This is a very tough decision, but I think this one is.

Victor

sara jean underwood purple lingerie 2

Sara Jean Underwood

Megan Fox will join Sara in the finals.

But I have to say this about Joanie and Allie. Those two girls are so hot, so perfect, so beautiful in every way, that they almost seem manufactured, like they are robots or something. Sara and Megan beat them for they feel more real, more relatable, and have distinctive sexy auras about them. It’s easier to wrap your head around those two.

So I guess you could say Joanie and Allie lost for being too hot, which doesn’t make sense in a Tournament of Hotties, but that’s the way it goes.

See you next time for the final round of the Impossibly Hot Women tournament!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 2)

Welcome back to the tournament of impossibly hot women, where we will find in the end who the hottest woman on the planet is!

Catch up by checking out the links here.

And now… on with the next hotties.

 

 

 

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Elizabeth Hurley

First up is Sara Jean Underwood, who as far as I know, has contributed mainly just her body to the fine folks of Earth. And really, that is the best gift she could offer. As a PlayBoy model, there is literally no shortage of jaw dropping pictures of this woman. So here, check them out, or rather, check her out.

 

 

 

Oh my goodness gracious. If you didn’t notice, this woman is a flawless beauty. Her toned body, nice ASSets and breast, combined with her blond hair and gorgeous face make her something to be desired…for all eternity. Knowing you live on the same planet as this woman and not getting to be with her, let alone see her, is literally Hell on Earth.

Well we saw the gorgeous youthful blond, but what about the older, yet unwavering beauty of the brunette, Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s check out how she’s doing!

 

 

 

Age has done nothing to slow this woman down, as far as her looks are concerned. She is almost every bit as hot now as she was 20-30 years ago. And for a woman in her 50’s, that makes her about 10x hotter right there. She is a goddess in her own right, and we should all bow to her beauty.

So which of these two women is the hottest? The younger blond, or the more mature brunette. As much as I don’t want to say this, it is this one, no contest.

Victor

sara jean underwood cover

Sara Jean Underwood

But seriously though. Elizabeth Hurley…super freakin’ hot…like… it’s baffling.

 

Next up is another brunette and blond!

 

 

Kim Kardashian

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Starting off with Kim, you might have noticed that she has an amazing body from the picture above, or of the tons of bikini photos of her from Round 1.

There is no shortage of hot photos of her, since she basically makes a living off of being hot. So let’s take a look at some of her work, shall we?

 

No matter what she is wearing, what she is doing, from modeling to walking down the street, this sexy woman looks fabulous. She is always picture ready, as evidenced here. Though anything that shows off that amazing body is always preferred.

To add to her appeal, she loves costumes, which is just sexy as hell.

 

Just smokin’ all the time. God dang.

In contrast to Kim’s dark sexiness is the shining beauty of Allie.

 

 

Unfortunately there aren’t quite as many pictures of her, which is a shame, because she is just gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to wear anything sexy for her to catch your eye. Her long, bright blond hair and innocent, beautiful face could easily do that. But if you do see her scantily clad, that’s all the better, for her body is perfection. She has such amazing curves on top of having a nice butt and boobs and well… having a nice everything.

If Angels are real things, then Allie DeBerry is certainly one of them. She just looks so beautiful, yet so untouchably good, that it would be a sin to lay hands on her divine body. But that is something no one could resist doing I imagine. So maybe she is more the apple in the Garden of Eden than an angel.

So both women here are absolutely stunning, with or without clothing. But who is the hotter one? This is a tough choice, but it will have to go to…

Victor

allie deberry skirt and bra on beach

Alexandria DeBerry

Look at that. She took down Kim and her half sister. That is something not many people can say. Especially when pertaining to straight looks.

 

Well there you have it. The four hottest women on Earth are about to battle it out in the semi finals! Make sure to check it out!

 

 

 

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 2 (Part 1)

Welcome to Round 2! Check out Round 1 listed here. We have 8 women left standing to bash their beauty on our willing eyes! But only four will advance…who will it be?

 

 

 

Megan Fox

VS

Jessica Alba

 

Let’s start with the unbelievably hot Megan Fox. She has been around for a while now, and has gotten nothing but hotter I think. She was recently in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and made the character of April O’Neil unbelievably sexy.

april 3

Man, even in a yellow jacket and nothing revealing at all, she is smoking hot. I mean, seriously, she is just scratching her head and makes it seem like the sexiest thing on the planet.

In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, they really are kind to the viewers to give us this display of her.

april 4

This picture is basically every man’s wet dream. In fact, the whole movie feels like it’s her posing and just being super hot. And in case this isn’t your wet dream, then maybe these are…

 

Her posture, her expressions, her body, all fabulous. What’s that? Her body is too covered in these shots? Perhaps you are right. Here ya go!

 

Perfection at it’s finest!!

 

I hope you didn’t spend yourself all on her, because next up is the beautiful Jessica Alba!

I first realized how impossibly hot she is in the movie Fantastic Four, where she is just absolutely glowing. It was after that I finally understood everyone’s obsession over her. That and when you see pictures like this, it’s hard not to be.

 

She’s another one who is gorgeous with her body covered, and drop dead gorgeous with it exposed. The fact that she seems to be a pure sweetheart adds to her hotness too! She has an amazing body, a beautiful face, and just a sexy aura about her.

So the only question is, who is hotter. Despite being presented with two women who shatter the hottie scale, this is a no brainer choice.

While both women are perfect in the looks department, particularly their bodies, this one just seems so much hotter somehow. Everything about her is far sexier, I don’t know why, but it is. And that is why she is the winner.

Victor

Megan Fox Bunk

Megan Fox

 

Don’t go away yet, two more hotties left to go!!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Joanie Brosas

Two long haired brunettes are next. Let’s take a look at the older, yet unfaltering beauty of Angelina Jolie.

The last movie I’ve seen her in was probably Mr. & Mrs. Smith, an awesome movie that is made better with just her mere presence in it. Mainly because she is so fine, and just so naturally over the top sexy.

And her wardrobe is killer in it.

 

This was the movie Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston to eventually marry her. I can’t say I really blame the guy. Acting like you are married to this hottie would only lead most men to strive to make that a reality.

Aside from all her movies, she is impossibly gorgeous just about all the time.

 

Her whole life has been one hot thrill ride for any who has laid eyes on her, and what I can only imagine as one of the greatest rides of all time if you got laid by her. Even her fake sex scenes show off that this woman would be something else in the sack. Well, here’s to dreaming!

And by the way, in the movie Alexander, you’ve never seen anyone look so good in a toga and other ancient articles of clothing.

angelina jolie alexander

Next up is the long haired, tall and slender, jaw dropping hottie cosplayer Joanie Brosas. I know nothing about her except that she is really just amazingly hot.

 

So yeah, her body has not a flaw on it, or a single trace of fat for that matter. She is lacking in the boob department because of this, where Angie is not at all. But she makes up for it everywhere else.

Both of these women are so hot, I don’t know how to choose. To make it more difficult, while Angie played Lara Croft, Joanie cosplayed her.

Let’s see the comparison!!

 

 

Both girls wear Lara’s wardrobe quite nicely, but anyone with eyes would realize that Joanie has an unfair advantage for wearing a barely legal version of it.

So now it is time to decide.

This woman’s body is 110% perfect. Every little inch of her. Each curve. Her beautiful hair and that adorable, gorgeous face. Both women are astonishing, but this one shines through…

Victor

Joanie Brosas Ash Ketchum behind

Joanie Brosas

Well there you have it! Megan Fox and Joanie Brosas will face off in the semi finals!

Check out part 2 to see who will join them!!

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 4)

Welcome to the final part of Round 1, where the last four ladies will face off! Check out parts 1, 2 and 3 to catch yourself up and to check out some more impossibly hot women.

Now without further ado, we go!

 

Brooklyn Decker

VS

Kim Kardashian

All right, let’s start off with Brooklyn, the inhumanly hot blond. I first discovered her in the movie Just Go With It. For anyone who has seen this movie, they know that she is the star of it. And that is simply because she is so stinkin’ amazingly gorgeous in it. She looks amazing in every scene, and with her humongous boobs and perfect figure, your eyes are drawn to her like the tractor beam from the Death Star. Except you wish you could be pulled inside her and I promise you would never want to escape. Her allure in that movie is increased 10fold because she seems to be in a bikini half of it, which is a gift from the heavens for sure, for this girl’s body is meant to be in a bikini and nothing but, except for nothing…butt…

Just Go With It was her first film, so upon some research, I discovered that I was not the only one who felt that her body belonged in a scanty swimsuit. Assuming these pictures are all before this movie, it turns out she had a career in modeling such beachwear. Sports Illustrated seemed to have a keen interest in her, alongside every male on the planet. She was even a cover girl! Now… prepare to be amazed…

 

So yeah, she is perfect. Her barely containable breasts combined with that flawless, sexy figure is enough to make her the source of every person on Earth’s dreams. Seriously, this woman is the body all bikinis are made for. No one looks as good as her in one.

Next up we have Kim Kardashian, as much as I hate to say it. I hate everything about the Kardashians, except their looks. My God, those five girls are truly attractive people. In fact if this was a bigger line up of women, there would probably be a spot for all 5 of them at some point. But we are here to focus on the most famous sister, Kim.

She’s famous for having a sex tape, which should automatically make you know this woman is hot. But that is not how I discovered her. I found out about her through magazine covers. When I worked in a supermarket, the magazine racks were by the registers, and as I walked by, I would always catch glimpses of the headlines and all the useless crap that I am baffled people care about when it comes to celebrities and all that.

For years and years, the cover was always about Brad Pitt and impossibly hot Angelina Jolie. Dumb crap detailing every uninteresting nook of their lives. But then someone started to break that trend. Some brunette started showing up on a different cover every week, in a different colored bikini, on a different beach.

I had no idea who she was, and I never looked for a name. My eyes were too busy staring at the incredibly hot woman on the cover. It wasn’t for like a year after weekly bikini shots that I learned her name…Kim Kardashian. Back then it sounded sexy. Now that last name makes me cringe.

Anyway, remember when I just said Brooklyn Decker is the body made for bikinis, that no one could look better in one than her?

Well my friends, I think she’s got a rival. She didn’t get on all those covers for nothing.

 

Holy Molie! This beauty has a perfect hourglass figure, huge boobs and a big ol’ butt. Her boobs might be a bit smaller than Brooklyn’s but those small pieces of cloth still struggle to hold those babies in. My goodness, this women too was born to wear a bikini. Seriously, I can’t get over how good she looks…

Both of these women’s careers seem to be based off of looking hot, so the ultimate question is, which is hotter? Which wears the bikini better?

While both are perfect specimens of the human body, this woman is just a tad hotter.

 

Victor

Kim K

Kim Kardashian

Though for the record, Brooklyn looks better in a bikini, but Kim is just all around hotter.

And now we have the last two women to finish off Round 1!

Kendell Jenner

VS

Alexandria DeBerry

Dang, what hotties to finish off this round!!

To start, remember when I said that Kim Kardashian and her sisters are all extremely hot? Well, Kendell is hot enough to compete with Kim for a chance to be crowned the most impossibly hot woman of all time!

I don’t really know how I came to know of her. As far as I know, she became famous for being Kim’s sister. But I distinctly remember officially becoming aware of her when I saw this picture…Kendell Jenner Perfect Body selfie

I instantly became infatuated with her. That body is as perfect as they come. For a girl whose entire family makes a living by taking hot pictures of themselves, you couldn’t ask for a better body to do so than this one. Simply put, it is draw dropping. Add that to the fact that she has a gorgeous face, and you’ve got an impossibly hot woman on your hands.

But don’t take my word for it!

 

Her stature and expression hint at a sweet little cutie and at the same time, a sexy, experimental, fearless hottie. And that is big points baby!! While her small breasts don’t give her the bikini body that her sister has, she unmistakably has a better body in general.

The final girl we have to talk about is the amazingly beautiful Allie DeBerry. I discovered her from a show called A.N.T. Farm. She played the dimwitted sidekick of the most beautiful and popular girl in school.

allie deberry ant farm
Allie’s the one of the left

The ironic part about this is that, while they both look great in cheerleader uniforms, Allie is far hotter, what with her tall, slender body, beautiful face and long hair, the other girl could never dream of being as good looking. And I seriously doubt she could compete with Allie wearing these “clothes”.

Oh my God!!! This girl has an hourglass figure like I have never seen before. She has “it” in all the right places, and I just love that super long hair. It goes so well with her tall, sexy body.

allie deberry bikini

I mean, just look at it. She is ridiculously hot. Definitely not of this world. And literally every inch of her has this perfect, toned, muscly hotness to her, as if her skeletal structure is perfect as well, beyond that of anyone else on Earth. Her shoulders, her elbows, her…everything, just seems so different and so hot. Again…not of this Earth. It is like God himself chiseled here out of a fleshy slab to show the world what a woman should look like.

So both girls have perfect bodies, a sexy aura about them, and look totally sweet and sexy. Which is hotter then? Despite how good they both look, this is a no contest bout.

Victor

alexandria-deberry-is-a-former_t31e49c2d

Alexandria DeBerry

I wish Kendell managed to beat her, for it would have been interesting for her to face off with Kim…oh well…

There you have it. The advancing 8 impossibly hot women have been decided! See you in Round 2!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women, Round 1 (Part 3)

Okay everybody, let’s jump right to the hotties! But if you need to, check out Round 1 Part 1, and Part 2.

Sara Jean Underwood

VS

Ciara Hanna

First off in Round 1 Part 3 are two of the hottest blondes you will likely ever lay eyes on. The hard part today is to decide which is hotter.

Let’s start with Sara. I first laid eyes upon this gorgeous woman when I was looking up something about one of the new Star Wars movies, and by some miracle, I came across this picture.

Sara-Jean-Underwood-Padme-Amidala-Cosplay-1Now it is not every day you find someone who looks hotter than Natalie Portman did in the same costume. I immediately fell in love with this woman. To my great delight, pictures such as these were attached to this one…

My first thought was she was a cosplayer, until I saw the car wash photos. That led me to believe she was a beautiful person who had an outstanding body that she loved to show off, and did so in a charitable way, while also conveniently having a bunch of friends who didn’t mind dressing super scantily and washing cars at the same time either. This provided a great service to their customers, who not only went home with a clean car, but an erection as well! What nice girls!!

Well obviously this must be some kind of fundraiser of sorts with Star Wars somehow involved. Whatever the reason, I decided to look more into this girl that had me so entranced. Was it because of her perfect body, beautiful face and charitable, helpful character, or was it because I love Star Wars just as much as nice, beautiful women? Perhaps putting both together was a match made in a heaven?

Anyway, this is what I found.

Turns out she’s a PlayBoy model. Having never looked at one of those magazines, I must admit, I am curious if they all look as good as her. But I seriously doubt it. This girl has an absolutely superb body, and a face that looks kind, sweet and fun. She looks like the type of girl you could get lost with all night, and then bring home to meet your mother. Until what she does for a living comes up anyway.

Oh and in case you were wondering, she looks amazing as Leia too.

sara-jean-underwood-star-wars-play-boy-photoshoot_1
Eat your hearts out…

 

 

 

Next we have an equally beautiful and precious looking woman, Ciara Hanna, making her second appearance in a Tournament Of Hotties, but this time as herself and not as a character she played. Which is exactly how I came to learn about her. She was the yellow ranger in the Power Rangers: Megaforce series. She was really quite beautiful in the show, but it wasn’t until I was looking up pictures of her for the first Tournament of Hotties that I learned she is one of the most beautiful, sexy, cute, gorgeous, adorable, sweet, amazing…I’m running out of adjectives. Enough jibber jabber, just look at some pictures of her…

Oh man, she just looks like the biggest sweetie and sex muffin! I don’t know if I want to hug her or do something more private. But let’s face it. We’d all pick both. Another girl you would take home to meet the family, but you couldn’t wait to live so you could have your way with her.

Everything about her is so perfect and sexy, yet cute and sweet. But what really gets me is when those sexy lips placed upon that beautiful face curve into a smile.

I love her sexy, wavy hair too…and her eyes…everything…

This might be one of the hardest to choose from in the tournament thus far. It seems a crime that one of these perfect blondes must be eliminated, but I must persevere and choose one.

 

Victor

Sara Jean Underwood Black Bra

Sara Jean Underwood

 

Moving away from blondes, we have two brunettes in the running!

Elizabeth Hurley

VS

Kristen Stewart

 

elizabeth_hurley_07The tall, slender large breasted woman known as Elizabeth Hurley may be one of my earliest crushes. I first saw her in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, where her sexy accent and perfect body charmed the pants off of everyone. The humorous censor scenes, aside from making me laugh, just showed how hot this woman was, not to mention how big her boobs are. Everything from her hair down to her futuristic styled boots is enough to make anyone start drooling. You really couldn’t blame Austin for trying to “shag” her the whole movie. No one else would be able to resist her either.

But it wasn’t until I saw Bedazzled that I considered her one of the most beautiful women on the planet, for she is so impossibly hot. In this movie, she plays the Devil. And this fact alone makes it an interesting movie. If the Devil looked like this…

then I am willing to bet just about everyone would sell their soul to her. The torture would be the “look but don’t touch rule” on this babe for all eternity. As you can tell, Elizabeth is nothing short of perfection. Ugh…just look at that body. Beautiful…so slim and toned…she’s as hot as the fires of hell…I know…I know…I had to say it.

She is getting on in years now, which is a blow to us all, but even still she looks nothing short of fabulous.

Any sane person would jump at the chance to get in on some of that, 20 years ago or now.

 

Next up is Kristen Stewart. I imagine I discovered her the same time everyone else in the world did. I remember it all too clearly. I visited my buddy in college and we were bored one night so we decided to go down to the auditorium where they were having a movie night. It was some movie none of us ever heard of, but we figured we’d watch it anyway. When we walked into the auditorium, I immediately noticed we were the only guys in there, never a good sign.

That’s right, you guessed it. That movie was Twilight. We had never heard of it and never knew it was this huge book/movie business. Anyway, the movie was basically awful. Except for the lead actress, Kristen. She was a hottie. She made most of the movie somewhat enjoyable just because of her looks. But after the movie ended, I forgot all about her until years later when I saw some pictures of her. It may have been these ones in fact.

She had become older and more mature and something about her just blew me away. Yeah, she has a perfect body, no doubt, sexy attitude and hot hair, but that isn’t what really gets me, it’s that face of hers. It is just so entrancing and wonderful.

I just can’t explain it, it just makes my heart melt. Maybe it’s because she dresses most of the time in regular clothing, and looks like a normal person most of the time, not some big shot celebrity. I don’t know. I don’t think I have a “type.” Maybe she’s it?

And speaking of the way she dresses, she looks amazing in everything. No matter what she dons, she is just tipping over the hottie scale.

Wow, she is just a steaming hottie, hot enough to take on the Devil herself. I don’t know what it is, it might be all her vampirey witch craft or whatever, but she definitely has me under some spell.

And she’s bisexual, which is huge points in my book.

So which of these two perfect women is hotter? It’s hard to say. Kristen is more my age, so maybe that’s why I feel some weird cyber connection with her. Elizabeth Hurley is much older, but still competes with Kristen any day. Decisions, decisions. I will have to give it to…

Victor

elizabeth hurley red dress

Elizabeth Hurley

Sara Jean Underwood and Elizabeth Hurley move on to Round 2! Their victories are bitter sweet, for Ciara and Kristen both are such sweet contestants I could totally get along with.

See you next time for the conclusion of Round 1!

Tournament Of Hotties: Impossibly Hot Women Round 1 (Part 2)

Welcome back to Round 1, where 2 more sets of unbelievably hot women will face off to see who is the hottest. Check out part one if you missed it. Now, let’s not waste anytime, let’s check out the next two hotties!

 

Angelina Jolie

VS

Denise Richards

Phew, these women are amazing! Just look at em up there. You couldn’t wish for more hotness than these two have!

Let’s talk about Angie first. Where to begin? I first found out about Angelina Jolie’s existence from watching the 2001 movie Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. If ever there was a thing as “love at first sight,” this was it for me. She without a doubt, was the most beautiful person on the planet I had ever seen. I didn’t even have to put in the movie to fall in love with her. The stinking cover was enough.

tomb raider cover

Dang. I was 12 or 13 when the movie came out, and this was about the sexiest thing I had even seen in my life. The long braid of hair, the tight tank top that shows off a huge pair of jugs and the abs bulging out…not too much, but just enough to tell you this woman is toned as hell, and unbelievably gorgeous. The short shorts that give way to long slender legs that are criminally cut off are an amazing tease. How dare they cut off any portion of this perfect specimen’s body!?

 

 

 

When I finally stopped staring and popped the tape in the VCR, it became immediately apparent that the cover was not a hoax, this woman, Angelina Jolie, really is that hot. If anything, the cover does not do her unheard of beauty justice, for it does not capture how effortlessly sexy this woman is. From the way she moves, to the way shes talks. Even if she just had to scratch her head, the eloquent way she moved her arm up to her head would have me melting all over. Each word seemed to drip from her lips, so sensual and loving, her smile so sexy and beckoning. And speaking of her lips, my God, they are the most luscious things you will ever lay eyes on, well maybe unless you look down at her chest. But anyway, those perfect lips make her words all the more paralyzingly sexy. You could be content just watching her speak and move. You love the words coming out of her mouth, it almost becomes as good as sticking something in those lips, a tragic fantasy every man must have ripped from them when watching this beauty, unless your Brad Pitt and a few other incredibly lucky guys.

If the pain of watching everything about her physical perfection wasn’t bad (or good) enough, it was even more agitating but equally pleasurable in the fact that every thing she wore in that movie, despite not being revealing at all, made her look like the most incredibly sexy and alluring sexual beast the world has ever known!

Here is just a quick example…

 

Literally everything she wore hugged her body in such a perfect way, or really more specifically, they hugged her boobs, making each and every one of us jealous of a shirt…It was like none of the outfits were big enough to fit around those beasts, and that was for the better, believe me! There was even an occasional nipple poking through, which obviously, is all the more welcome!

But anyone who has seen this movie will take one amazing, joy filled memory with them. You know what I am talking about…I know you do!! The famous shower scene. First off, this scene has no nudity or anything, it’s just Angelina like running water down her hair for like 15 seconds, but the way she moves…it’s just…oh man…I don’t know. She just makes it seem so erotic. It’s basically like you are having sex with her. She even parts those luscious lips from a side view for you, and that is enough to shoot a tingle down everybody’s spine. But that is not even what I am talking about. It is when she gets out of the shower that the magic really happens.

BOOM!angelina jolie tomb-raider-4

The most amazing side boob you will ever see. Let me explain how amazing this was as a child. I was barely a teenager when I saw this and probably the only boobs I ever saw were Rose’s from Titanic. Then I spent this whole movie staring at her jugs with all her tight fitting shirts being stretched to their limits. Then she gets out of the shower and to everyone’s delight, she rips her towel off unexpectedly and turns just enough that you can see everything you possibly can without it being full nudity and keeping the movie PG-13.

Now this amazing side boob does a couple things. It confirms her boobs are as big as they look and it releases some weird sexual tension that has built up from watching her supreme hotness, which is amazing and much needed at this point.

Those are the pros, the con, it leaves you wanting more…so, so, so much more! You want to see every part of that beautiful toned body, every tiny inch of it. How could they tease the viewers like that! Eventually, you learn to just be happy you got to see any part of her at all, and then enjoy the rest of the movie with a smile on your face as you watch her in all her unmatched hotness, staring at her boobs ready to burst from her shirts, thinking to yourself, “yeah, I got to see those…a little…to the side…” as your smirk grows bigger.

So yeah, that is the story of how I fell in love with Angelina Jolie. For years I stated without hesitation that she was the most beautiful woman on planet Earth.  I have seen very few movies with her in it, but of the ones I have, she is just as alluring and sexy in all of them. It was only fitting that she was cast in the role of probably the most famously hot female video game character ever designed at that point.

Next up is Denise Richards. Like Angie, I discovered her from a movie, and the whole time she was in it, I couldn’t help but get aroused. She brought the meaning of sexy to a whole new level, from the way she looked, talked, walked, and above all, her facial expressions were such a big turn on, it blew me away.

What movie am I talking about? The 1998 film, Wild Things of course! Despite this being a very thrilling movie on it’s own, the director clearly searched high and low for the hottest woman they could find and then spend half the movie showing her off. Literally everything she wears is skimpy and revealing in some way. You also get to see her naked on several occasions and make out with a girl on her own and in a threesome. So yeah, it’s pretty amazing stuff. She looked a little like this…

 

Believe it or not, she is way hotter in the movie even! And just like the woman she is competing against, she has a wonderful rack and big, sexy lips. If you were to look up any word in the dictionary related to the words, “hot,” “sexy,” “arouse,” “dammmmmmnnn,” etc., it would be hard to tell which of these two women’s photo would go there.

Denise is most famous for being an unbelievably hot Bond girl I believe. A movie I have to see.

She has also been featured in PlayBoy Magazine wearing a…net…

 

Not very practical clothing, but if its purpose is to make us all sit up a little straighter, then they nailed it on the head. I have only even seen Denise Richards in this one movie, but I can only imagine that just like in Wild Things, any time she is on screen, you will forget entirely about the movie and will instead be lost in her all encompassing beauty.

Unfortunately today, she isn’t all that hot. Her body is still amazing, but her face looks kind of weird, like plastic surgery gone wrong or something. Even so, do not let that detract from the impossibly hot woman she once was!!!

Now for the hard part. To decide which of these inhumanely hot women is hotter. Both have perfection on a physical level, and both are unbelievably sexy and heart melting beauties that would easily take your breath away if you saw them on the streets. But to choose only one, I would have to go with this one…

Victor

angelina jolie 6

Angelina Jolie

This hottie just has a more sexy edge on Denise. It just seems to flow off of her so naturally. She really must be an alien or something…

And now for the next bout!!!

 

 

Katie Cassidy

VS

Joanie Brosas

Hot dog!! We’ve got two tall, slender and absolutely gorgeous girls up next!!!

Katie Cassidy became one of the most beautiful women in the world to me after viewing her in what is probably my favorite show of all time, Arrow. In season 1, she wasn’t all that spectacular. She was very attractive of course, but nothing mind blowing. She sort of looked like this…Katie-Cassidy-Regard-Magazine-Photo-Shoot-arrow-cw-33738859-940-586

though not as made up of course.

But then along came season 2 and my God, I don’t know what happened, but I was hit by the train that is her infinite beauty. Ever since, every time she is on camera, I can’t help but drool. The show itself is always so intriguing, keeping you on the edge of your seat, but this beauty comes along and steals all the focus. But that really isn’t all that surprising when you start to look like this…

 

In the show, she plays a lawyer and always dresses really professional, so you can never tell what kind of body she has, though it’s obvious it’s a hot one. And if you couldn’t tell from the pictures above how sexy her long legs are, or how gorgeous her body is, here is some more proof…

So as you can tell, she has a wonderfully tone body, with an especially great booty. Everything, from that sexy wavy hair of hers down to her toes is just steamy hotness. Unfortunately, I have never seen her in anything but Arrow, but I am sure she’s gorgeous all the time!

Next up is the fabulous Joanie Brosas. This incredibly hot woman I believe is a model, which how could she not be, she’s beautiful x1000. But I think she is more known for her cosplaying, where she specializes in wearing as little amount of clothing as legally  possible.

As you can tell, she’s quite good at it. Her body is absolutely flawless. In fact, normally I would say she is too thin, but for some reason, maybe because she looks to be on the tall side, it works for her, thus just adding to her already inhuman hotness. Something else super sexy about her is that long, flowing hair of hers.

I don’t know why, but that is just as much of a turn on as her beautiful body.

This was another girl I fell hard for immediately. I was looking up something about a rumored Tomb Raider movie a few years ago, and I found this instead.

So yeah, anyone could fall victim to this appealing specimen. The long hair, the cute face, amazing figure, long legs, firm butt and the oh so sexy under boob make her a force to be reckoned with on the scale of hotness.

So I love everything about both these girls, so it comes down to which one is just simply better looking…and while they both are at least 10/10 on the hottie scale, this one can be pushed up to a 12..

Victor

Joanie Brosas darth vader

Joanie Brosas

Well folks, that’s another 4 hotties revealed, and another 2 to move on! See you next time for 4 more hotties as Round 1 continues!!