Series Ranked: American Pie

Today I will be ranking the main installments of the American Pie film franchise. I have never seen any of the spin offs, so they will not be included, and I probably wouldn’t include them if I did see them anyway.

American Pie is one of my favorite film series of all time. At first glance they appear to be stupid teen party sex movies, but they are actually so much deeper. The films explore pivotal parts of life that we all experience and relate to. Every single character can be compared to someone we know in real life, as well as most of the situations the characters are in. Obviously, most of this is exaggerated greatly for the sake of humor, but remains true to life in some respect all the same. From the awkward, embarrassing situations main character Jim is found in, to his deep/hilarious talks with his dad, each second is an emotional, hysterical blast that leaves you feeling quite satisfied at the end.

So here we go, I will be ranking them from worst to best, but note that I love every single one of these movies.

#4

American Wedding

american-wedding

The third film and final one for around a decade is my least favorite. When I first saw it, I was rather disappointed by it. Perhaps because I was too young at the time to relate? I don’t know, but now that I have seen it probably 10 times, it really has quite grown on me.

The film starts off just after college graduation, setting the scene for the next big step in life…marriage. The movie focuses on main character Jim and his fiance Michelle planning their big wedding day. It does a nice job showing all the work and stress that leads up to a wedding, and how girls always dream up these perfect days and how the husband to be must break his back doing his best to not disappoint her.

The sub plot involves Stiffler and Finch competing over a woman, all the while trying to impress her parents. This turns out to be a hilarious ordeal.

What I don’t like is that the film is entirely focused on these four characters. All the other series regulars are absent, even main character Chris, and even though Kevin is in it, he has no real part and only has a handful of lines.

Regardless, the film is a blast and shows us that no matter what crazy set backs can happen, eventually in the end it all works out.

#3

American Pie

American-Pie-con-todos-sus-actores-principales_landscape

Next up is the one that started it all. The main plot is a group of horny virgins coming up on their high school graduation vow to lose their virginity on prom night. The movie focuses on them doing absurd things to make it happen.

I know that plot sounds ridiculous, but it is absolutely how high school is, and every character and their motivations is completely relateable. We get to watch them all grow and mature in their last few weeks of high school, where they realize sex isn’t everything.

Another big part of the plot, and something we all also experience, is them learning to face the future. Once you graduate high school, your life completely changes, and the film does a great job dealing with these teenagers coming to terms with that, and they do everything they can to prepare and/or prevent their lives from changing.

#2

American Pie 2

ap2

This movie starts off just as the gang is finishing up their freshman year in college. They all reunite back home to attempt to live the lives they were so accustomed to in high school, only to find that something just wasn’t right. To attempt to put things right, they rent a big house on Lake Michigan and spend the summer working and partying together. As the summer slips away from them, they realize the future can not be stopped and must accept the changes they were not ready to face in the first movie.

This is a challenge we all must face, usually against our will. No one is truly ready to grow up and it is just awesome to watch a film where you get to see people struggle with this, but in a hugely hilarious, yet emotional way. Again each character winds up maturing tremendously by the end of it.

#1

American Reunion

AMERICAN1-jumbo

The fourth and final film brings back all the characters that were missing in American Wedding for a truly spectacular high school reunion, their 13 year high school reunion to be specific.

The film is about the gang dealing with the troubles of early adulthood, while at the same time, trying to still keep that kid alive inside of them. They each face their own turmoils about their lives and lean on each other to help make it seem better. But when they all get together, they once again try to relive their glorious high school days, only to find their old home isn’t quite how it used to be, now taken over by the current high schoolers. A few scenes show off the generational gaps of kids today versus how they were in the 90’s, and how problematic this becomes for the older generation, whose maturity must be forlorn, reverting back to the kids they once were to meet the youngen’s on their level.

It is fun to watch how old memories are brought up and how it makes the characters feel and act. There are many deep nostalgic moments in the movie, and it is the funniest, wildest, and somehow the most mature film in the franchise, making it my favorite.

Well that’s all of them. There was rumor of a fifth one, but I don’t think that will come to pass unfortunately. I would love to see these guys in yet another struggle through life!

american-reunion

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Tournament of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Final)

Well here we are, the finals. Two Princesses fought and clawed their way to the top, but now we will at long last get to see who is hottest.

Catch up on the previous rounds listed here, and without further ado, here is finalist #1!!

Say hello to the Princess of Agrabah!!!

 

Jasmine

Seriously, how can she look hotter drawn than as a real person!!! She is crazy hot.

But here are some pictures of one of the hottest women on Earth dressed as one of the hottest animated women. This should be good.

Yep…definitely good.

And what is hotter than a little girl on girl?

 

VS

 

Next up we have the Princess of….Somewhere!!! This unheard of beauty has taken down more girls than any other in this tournament. Now that she only is up against one other, it should be easy for her, right? Well, we shall see. There isn’t much to show for her unfortunately, but I’ll do my best to showcase this hottie.

Giselle

Her long hair flowing over those loose shoulders is very sexy. And her hot, body hugging night gown, or dress just makes you wild over her, slim, tight body.

Since that’s all I could find, here’s some repeats.

I don’t know anything about her, but I want to. She is just a very alluring woman…uh…drawing. Any piece of skin she is showing off is so hot. Problem is, the same can be said for Jasmine. So which of the two is the hottest Disney Princess?

Honestly this a no contest. The whole tournament has practically been a no contest for this woman. She is simply put, a goddess. She can give Jessica Rabbit a run for her money, and anyone who can say that is just amazingly drawn. But in addition to her phenomenal looks, it’s her personality that adds to her incredible hotness. It’s so tough, yet kind, yet sexy…omg is it sexy. This is the woman of every man’s dream.

Winner of Tournament

jasmine in hourglassJasmine

Anyone who has seen Aladdin will understand why she deserves the win. So congratulations Jasmine, for being the hottest creation the fine folk at Disney have ever come up with!

And as always, here is the ranking of all our brilliantly drawn women, ranked from least hottest, to hottest. In parentheses will be how far into the tournament they made it.

#19-Eilonwy (Round 1)

eilonwy_by_magic_monkey761-d5n5n0v

#18-Merida (Round 1)

merida_by_jeff_mahadi-d84eq9v

#17-Snow White (Round 1)

Snow White poison apple

#16-Moanna (Round 1)

moanna water

#15-Megara (Round 1)

meg belly dancer

#14- Anna (Round 2)

anna_by_ehillustrations-d896py5

#13-Mulan (Round 1)

mulan_by_camusaltamirano-d4xfhhd

#12-Tiana (Round 1)

tiana green bikini

#11-Kida (Round 2)

kida drawn hot

#10-Pocahontas (Round 2)

Pocahontas near nude

#9-Aurora (Round 1)

Sleeping Beauty sexy_anime_cartoons_pic21

#8-Elsa (Round 1)

elsa sexy

#7-Cinderella (Round 2)

Cindarella 12th stroke of midnight

#6-Elena (Round 2)

elena

#5-Rapunzel (Semi-Finalist)

Rapunzel letting her hair down

#4-Giselle (Runner Up)

Giselle

#3-Belle (Round 1)

Belle with robe

#2-Ariel (Semi-Finalist)

Little Mermaid capsized

#1-Jasmine (Winner)

Jasmine Aladin

 

Well, that’s all we’ll get to see of these hotties. Thanks for checking them out, and thanks to Disney for giving us something so wonderful to look at.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tournament of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Semi-Final)

Check out the first two rounds listed here, and without any time wasted, here’s the first match.

Ariel VS Jasmine

I don’t like fish. I don’t like the smell, the taste, pretty much anything about it. But this is one fish I would love to do both of those and I just would pretty much do anything to get my hands on this mermaid.

As you can see, she’s super hot drawn, but if she were a real person, would she be just as hot?

She would actually be hotter it seems.

And if you went to school with her, would she be hot?

‘gulp’ Sure would…

And if she was imprisoned by Jabba the Hutt…?

ariel_cosplay_mashup_by_maid_of_might_i_by_wbmstr-d8zfj00

Most certainly. No matter how you slice it, above ground or underwater, this princess is hot. Really, really hot. You would need to cool down in the ocean after an hour or two with her. And that’s a huge bonus, cuz the fun wouldn’t stop under the sea. She is quite literally the best of both worlds.

Now let’s take a look at Jasmine.

Crikey! Here is a woman that’s so hot, you don’t even need to see her as a real person.

She’s better than the real thing…maybe?

It’s a tough call honestly.

Oh, and Jabba seems to like her too…but can we really blame him?

 

So which of these scantily clad women is hotter? Ariel has huge points for wearing basically nothing, but Jasmine has a sexier look to her. It’s hard to choose, but it definitely is her.

 

Victor-Jasmine

jasmine_sexy

 

Our second and final match in this round is between these nice pieces of royal booty.

Rapunzel VS Giselle

There aren’t too many pictures of her, but rest assured, she is a cutie, and her naive innocence is matched only by her hotness.

And if you’re really lucky, her kidnapper/adoptive mother can join in the fun.

Rapunzel's Mom

Giselle resembles Rapunzel quite a bit.

I think her hair is supposed to be red, but it always looks blond to me.

There aren’t many pictures of her either, but here’s a little something to show off her looks.

Both women are beautiful, but I really have to give it to Giselle. She is more mature looking, with a tall, slender, tight body that looks quite amazing to play around with.

Victor- Giselle

giselle_disney_little_mermaid_by_rebenke
What she looks like when visiting Ariel. Good time to be a fish when that happens…

Well folks, there you have it! Jasmine and Giselle, both very hot sounding names, will move on to the final. Only one will come out on top, and I hope it’s me…!

Tournament of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Round 2, Part 2)

Welcome back to round 2, where we will see the remaining beauties in all their glory (hopefully).  Check out part 1 here and don’t forget about round 1 either!

Rapunzel

VS

Anna

This is a no contest bout, but before we get to the victor, here’s some pictures.

 

What a beautiful blond, she is.

Now here’s some of our red head, though I couldn’t really find anything with just her. She is always accompanied by her sister, which honestly is not a bad thing…at all…

Very nice, ladies, very nice.

But, as I’ve said, this is a no contest. While both women have very likable personalities, when it comes to looks, Rapunzel is just so much more hotter than Anna. You could definitely have more fun with that blond.

Victor- Rapunzel

tangled_06_by_mihzu-d3b6nvr

 

Next we have a three women face off, as we have another uneven amount of girls. But as I always say, three is better than two.

 

Elena

VS

Kida

VS

Giselle

Alrighty, starting with Elena, the gorgeous princess of wherever. I haven’t seen her movie and don’t know anything about her. She also doesn’t have any pictures that would really interest us, unfortunately. Though this will not hurt her chance at winning, for she is quite the looker. She bares a similarity to Jasmine, and anyone who can say that is pretty much golden.

I don’t know much about Kida, but she is scantily clad, and that always awards huge points in my book. Fortunately, there is no shortage of pictures of her. BEHOLD!!!

Oh yeah…………………………………………………..

And lastly, we have Giselle, who has already taken out two girls at once. Can she do it again? Let’s see.

 

So not too many of her either, but oh well.

So who is the hottest?

Elena, while gorgeous, just doesn’t cut it. See you later Elena.

Kida has an amazing body which she chooses to show off, but her face is a little weird looking.

Giselle has probably an even better body hiding under her dress, and just seems to have such a seductive and sexy, yet innocent and adorable nature in her, making her the best of both worlds and the winner of this round, making the total of girls she’s taken down four!

Victor- Giselle

 

giselle-enchanted-disney-dolls

And there you have it! Next up is the semifinals!

Tournament Of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Round 2, Part 1)

Here we are, back with the hotties who survived Round 1. We are really gonna see some hotness now! Catch up with round 1, parts 1, 2, and 3, and let’s go!!

 

Cinderella

VS

Ariel

 

We’ve got the hardworking blond against the sexy seashell sporting redhead! Both are absolutely gorgeous, so let’s take a closer look to see which is hotter.

Cinderella will work her butt off for you, just as long as you take her to a ball every once and a while. But make sure to have her home by midnight!!

 

And if you ever wondered what she might look like in real life…hopefully it would be something like this.

 

And though she beat Snow White in round 1, you’ll be glad to know they are still friends!snow_white_and_cinderella_by_elias_chatzoudis-d705k27

Next up is the hottest mermaid around.

 

If ever Ariel were to sprout legs, hopefully she wouldn’t bother changing into ugly, unflattering clothing like she did in the movie. I hope she would look like this…

ariel cosplay

So who is hotter…decisions…decisions…

Cinderella is gorgeous and would probably make the perfect wife, but I don’t know how adventurous she would be.

Ariel has the downside of living in a place where we can’t breath and is missing two essential holes. But she’s still got her blow hole and that’s all she needs to please us. Plus she is naive and desperate to fit in, so she’ll do anything we request most likely.

But really, we are basing solely on looks and the fact that Ariel goes around shirtless, being as hot as she is, is something we can only dream about. And she is just all around better looking than Cinderella of course!

 

Victor- Ariel

Ariel tatoo

 

 

 

 

Jasmine

VS

Pocahontas

 

 

First, let’s check out Jasmine, one of the sexiest animated women ever put on paper.

Jasmine captive

I don’t care what anybody says, she looks drop dead gorgeous in these pictures, never mind that she is animated. It doesn’t help matters that she acts all sexy and seductive in this scene of the movie, which is undoubtedly the cause of every child’s very first wet dream.

jasmine red cosplay

But a special thanks goes to this woman for fulfilling a fantasy we so desire. Now if only we could meet this babe in person…

Or this one…

Jasmine 1

It is clear that Jasmine is unbelievably hot in a cartoon or in real life, and we can’t help but fall in love with her.

Pocahontas is also quite beautiful, but compared to Jasmine, she falls way short. But whoever this amazing woman is makes her a dream come true.

 

And this one…though I’m not sure if this is actually relevant to the movie.

 

Even with these scantily clad women posing as Pocahontas, she still doesn’t compete with Jasmine.

 

 

In this battle, the Native American falls short…though dang, that woman to the left looks amazing…not to mention the one on the right…yummy…………………………………

Victor- Jasmine

jasmine

That’s all for now, check back for the conclusion of Round 2!

Tournament of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Round 1, Part 2)

Welcome back. We’ve got 6 more animated beauties to judge, so let’s get right to it. Check out part 1 if you missed it!

The first two women are from movies I haven’t seen since the year they came out, so that was like 2 decades ago, so I don’t remember anything about them, so I will have to judge by the pictures.

Pocahontas VS Mulan

First off is the Native American Pocahontas. She’s got a tall, slender body that looks to be nothing but muscle, in a hot way. Her long, flowing hair does nothing but add to her allure.

And the whole one strap thing on her hide dress? Very sexy.

pocahontas_5_e941b576

See? And we’d all like to get her to make that face. If you picture the background a bedspread instead of a purple sky, this picture becomes 100x more erotic.

Next is Mulan. I think she is a princess of some sorts, but unfortunately not a very attractive one. This might be because she spends much of the movie impersonating a man, so let’s just take a look at her womanly side.

Turns out she’s very beautiful, but in more of a cute kind of way. She’s someone you could see yourself settling down with. Props to Mushu, though, he’s copping a feel with his feet while distracting Mulan by staring longingly into her eyes and tickling her chin. Man…what a pro…

 

Pocahontas is far more sexy, however, which is what this tournament is all about. Now if Mulan had appeared in the movie like this, she might have had a chance.

mulan-work-b

 

Victor- Pocahontas

pocahontas_by_mari945-d94gxg7

 

Tiana VS Rapunzel

Let’s start by talking about the beauty from New Orleans, Tiana. On top of being exceptionally beautiful, she cooks and cleans like no other, and apparently can make some truly spectacular gumbo. In the Princess and the Frog, she shows off a frog fetish and then is married into royalty. You know, normal stuff. While not good looking as a frog, there is no denying her amazing looks as a human.

Rapunzel is a princess kidnapped as a baby as seen in Tangled. Despite never leaving her tower, she grows up into an extremely hot blond and though her hair is like 30 feet long, it is just as stunning as she is. She is also adorable in her looks, but even more so in her personality. Her adventurous spirit mixed with her kind and innocent personality really make you gush. She is a master of hot and cute, which is always big points. The woman who kidnapped her and posed as her mother, for an older gal, isn’t bad either.

I wouldn’t mind getting in on some of that. The picture on the right really shows off Rapunzel’s radiance…

Anyway, while both of these princesses are gorgeous, it’s Rapunzel’s charming allure that wins the round…and her overcoming hotness of course.

Victor- Rapunzel

tangled-rapunzel-pascal-window-main

 

Next up are a couple of red heads!

Merida VS Anna

I will be blunt, Merida, apart from being brave and all that, doesn’t have much going for her…like at all. Though, for some reason the actress who plays her in the TV series Once Upon a Time makes the character sexy, strong and beautiful. The more I watched her, the more I noticed how beautiful she is.

Though since this is not what she looked like in the movie, this is entirely irrelevant.

Anna isn’t all that hot either, though she is just a little bit. And standing up there next to Merida, her looks really shine through. She is definitely attractive, which is more than can be said about Merida.

 

Victor-Anna

Anna_Frozen

That’s it for part 2! Look for the final part of Round 1 coming soon!

Tournament Of Hotties: Disney Princesses (Round 1, Part 1)

I’m back with another tournament of gorgeous women, but this time we’re gonna feed our fictional fantasies. These princesses might be popular for being royalty and starring in big movies and the like, but they are also hot, and damn it, we want to know who the hottest of the hot are.

I am going to be going all out and using all sorts of Disney females of royal caliber, even a few I have never heard of before. Note that no matter what we see on these pages, I will be judging them on how they look in their respective movies.

So let’s get to it!!

Snow White VS Cinderella

Our oldest Disney princess is Snow White, but she doesn’t look a day over 20. She also isn’t much in the looks department at all. Her dress is unflattering, she’s kind of a ditz, and honestly, there isn’t anything to gawk at. But according to the Magic Mirror, she is the most beautiful woman in all the lands. Well, if that is true, then I’d hate to see the other women in whatever lands she is from.cinderella_eu_princess_pi_storybook_r_8e1944df

Cinderella, on the other hand, is a hot blond, though she doesn’t wear anything sexy, unless you are into rags.

She is obviously a very beautiful woman with a bangin’ bod. And as a bonus, she cooks, cleans and can talk to animals, so who wouldn’t want that in a woman?

So the winner here is obvious, but I would like to share with you a picture I have located that someone drew that does in fact, make Snow White look quite sexy.

Snow White Bra and skirt

Too bad you don’t shape up like that in the movie.

Victor-Cinderella

cinderella

 

 

Next up is a heavy sleeper and an avid swimmer!

Aurora VS Ariel

Aurora is an attractive blond, with her wild hair, petite body and shy nature, she’s enough to make any guy chase after her. The title of her movie even calls her hot…sort of. Heck, in Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, one of the characters you play as wants to bang the sleeping broad.

 

sleeping-beauty-disneyscreencaps-com-1992
I mean, look at that look. You couldn’t say no to that. She’s a sly fox, she is.

 

Sleeping-beauty-disneyscreencaps.com-4287
And I’m sure you can figure out something to do with her in this picture.

 

And next we have the gorgeous little mermaid, princess of the seas, Ariel! Sure, she’s half marlin, but that doesn’t mean her human half isn’t one of the hottest sights on the seven seas!

Any woman, half a fish or not, that wears a bra made out of sea shells as their everyday clothing, showing off their perfect body, is a welcome sight to me.

ariel wave
The waves here are an accurate portrayal of an inevitable explosion that would occur from a dripping wet, near naked woman with her mouth wide open, kneeling down on a rock and looking at you.

And when that long red hair is floating around underwater, phew, it gets pretty bubbly, if you know what I mean.

And with two beautiful women this time around, who to vote for?

Ariel takes the trout. Aurora has a great body no doubt, but she doesn’t flaunt it. Ariel has no shame. She shows us what she’s got, and we like.

Victor-Ariel

ariel-little-mermaid-ariel_pisces-39985040-1148-760

 

Next up are two more amazingly drawn hotties.

Belle VS Jasmine

Here we have a gorgeous French bookworm facing off against a beautiful Arabian princess.

Belle is not born a princess, but is married into it the role as implied in Beauty and the Beast. Not only does Belle score a 10 out of 10 in both the looks and brains department, but also in personality. She is a kind and gentle, unbelievably caring woman, but also can be fierce and fearless. She must also be one kinky lady, because she wants Beast’s bulge something awful. They could really get into some crazy business behind those big bedroom doors. And we can’t blame Beast either. Belle is one sexy woman.

beauty_and_the_beast_2010_by_j_scott_campbell-d2z2pqg

While Belle is pretty much perfect, Jasmine will not stand idly by and let her be overrun.

jasmine 2

 

The Aladdin babe is simply gorgeous. That dark skin, those big brown eyes and big lips,  long, bouncy hair, and that amazing figure make your heart melt and some other things grow.

She has a very tough personality. It’s like she’s a big tease. She exposes most of her upper body to you, but her aggressive attitude will keep you at bay unless you are a poor, heroic, homeless guy.

But she can also be very sexy, and she has such a perfect, seductive voice to go with it. Fortunately, she puts on this unbelievably sexy act multiple times in her series. Just everything about her is hot.

Did I mention how amazing her body is?

Little is left to the imagination on her fine hourglass figure, and really it looks like if her pants were real, they’d be totally see through. If you do manage to break down her defenses and score this perfect catch, you wouldn’t have to work hard in the slightest to undress her. One light tug and those pants and top are coming right off. Heck, if the desert she lives in wasn’t so dry, a gust of wind would probably get her naked, which is something we would all like to see.

So both of these contestants are beautiful, inside and out, and also have a darker, sexy and arousing side to them. So who is the better of such attributes?

Victor-Jasmine

Jasmine_Pose

Look for Part 2 of Round 1 coming soon!